• Published 30th Dec 2015
  • 3,324 Views, 170 Comments

Journal of an Alicorn Clone - Tired Old Man



A silly clone of Princess Celestia writes about her not-so-ordinary life.

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This Court Had No Tennis Rackets, But I Made a Racket Anyway!

Dear Journal,

Celestia gave me a new challenge today. She said if I behaved for a whole week, I’d learn a few things about how to carry myself around others in the castle. What was it… manners? I think it was manners I had to learn, but I was definitely ready for it!

Except I didn’t quite get the challenge, as Celestia explained to me while I carried her on my back through the castle. I asked her why she didn’t stop me from doing that if that was wrong, and she said it would just be easier this way… which worked for me! If she didn’t have a problem with it, why should I?

Anyway, being a princess isn’t all sunshine and rainbows. We have things we have to do, ponies to listen to (and ignore if necessary--she made that sound SUPER important), and a land to rule over with ‘benevolence’, which is a long word meaning we do good by others in our domain.

It sounded easy! How hard could it be to do the right thing all the time?

As it turned out, that can be very difficult. Especially when the right thing is sitting and listening to a court thing Celestia said was ‘sometimes’ boring.

Except it wasn’t just boring! In fact, if boring was a pony, they’d probably think listening to their grandma talk about their denture cleaner was more exciting! Because at least that has fizzy bubbles, and I couldn’t even bring a soda pop into the room!

I did bring my journal though, and drawing doodles of the ponies talking to Celestia helped a little. Most of them weren’t that interesting, but there was a big white pony with yellow hair that gave Celestia a funny-looking eye tic, and I think an extra wrinkle on her cheek. And then a light red, not-pink-but-maybe-peach? pony with a rose on her butt came in and my front hooves got all tingly like they wanted to touch her face. Hard. Multiple times.

And I almost did! I touched her face once before Celestia pulled me out of the courtroom. Apparently, what I did was not the right thing, even though she agreed that it was a good gut feeling to have. Even so, she sent me to my room and promised she would fix things while I reflected on my bad manners.

But I think there’s only one thing to reflect on. And that’s if you really feel like hurting someone, it’s probably not a good idea to actually do that. Nopony likes to get hurt, no matter how much they might want to hurt others.

Except if you’re not physically hurting them. Celestia did say she had a punching dummy with peachy pony’s face on it, and I get to use that next time! YES!