• Published 30th Dec 2015
  • 3,324 Views, 170 Comments

Journal of an Alicorn Clone - Tired Old Man



A silly clone of Princess Celestia writes about her not-so-ordinary life.

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The Key is in the Details!

Dear Journal,

I found a key today! A special, top-secret key that presumably goes to something incredibly important! It has to–this wasn’t hidden under Celestia’s mattress for a terrible reason!

...Was it? No matter. What is important is figuring out what it goes to!

Unfortunately, searching the room seems fruitless. I tried the normal doors, the walls, her secret safe, the super secret safe within the secret safe that I still haven’t opened, and of course the super-duper secret safe that’s definitely in the super secret safe, even though I’ve never seen it before! Hunches are awesome!

Wait, what if it goes to that door that’s a shortcut to Cadance’s house?! Granted, that door didn’t have a keyhole in it, nor has that door appeared ever since my visit to the Crystal Empire… but it’s still worth trying! It might not have an obvious keyhole–I mean, my horn unlocked a door in the castle, so who knows what it takes to unlock that door from here!

Open sesame! Presto door...o? My curiosity seeks what is near; oh secret passage, please appear?!

Okay, random door chants don’t seem to work. Maybe it needs a Crystal Empire chant or something. Picky door.

In the meantime, maybe this key opens something else not in this room. Perhaps another room in the castle? Luna’s room?

Nope, not Luna’s room. The door is open though, and Luna Two’s here! Hey little sis! Whatcha doing?

Aw, reading again? But that’s for squares, and we’re mostly rounded circles!

No, I haven’t read shape theory. I read a children’s shape book though; why do you ask?

Oh, right! Why I’m here. See, I found this key in Celestia’s room, but I have no idea what it goes to. It didn’t unlock anything in her room, so I wondered if it unlocked something else in a different location. You wouldn’t happen to know of anything locked in here, would you?

Hmmm, it doesn’t work on Luna’s wardrobe. Nope, not on this ornate music box either–the keyhole is too small for this. Hey, what about her wall safe?

What do you mean you don’t know about a wall safe? Have you checked behind the nightstand? That’s where mine is, and I have another hunch! Yes, a hunch that’s where yours is too!

Sis, I know that look. That’s the look of a nonbeliever, which means you don’t believe me! Well, go on and check back there! See for yourself; tell me if I’m wrong.

Hah, told you! Now, let’s see if this key works… and of course, it doesn’t. I don’t know what I expected, but at least you know where your secret safe is now! Except they’re not secret anymore because both of us know where they are!

Wow, I am absolutely terrible with secrets. Who knew? Anyway, it doesn’t seem like this key will open anything here, so I guess I’ll try some other spots. Are you coming? It doesn’t look like you have anything better to do than reading some stuffy old book, so why not?

Hooray! I get an investigative partner, like that one detective you like. Yeah, the Fetlock guy! So does that make you Trotson–

W-Well, of course I read the Fetlock stories! Why? Because… he’s not a square! That’s not important right now!