3/14/24 Still Alive Edition

There's only one pony in Ponyville that the Mane Six have never met. Pinkie Pie has never thrown him a party, Applejack has never sold him a mug of cider, and Twilight has never seen him check out any books. And as far as that unicorn, Lapis Print, is concerned, that's exactly how it should be.

Lapis can't risk them knowing where he lives, what he does for a living, or even what his name is - if he gets his way, the Mane Six won't even know he exists, and nopony in Ponyville will miss him once he's gone.

It should be a piece of cake - after all, it's not like the biggest magical power in Equestria is about making sure everypony looks out for each other, right?

(Rated Teen for language - mental cursing mostly.)

Keith, local human, happily wiles away some time by painting himself a picture with his imagination brush and the aid of some figurines, thinking that he is doing so in private.

He is not.

Not all villains are evil. Some are just misguided. There are some creatures who just need a helping hoof to have the opportunity to—

—bwa ha ha, no, the Queen of the Changelings would never be into that. So what's with this sudden change of heart? And what's with these sassy letters?

A not very serious fic with some isekai implications.

The human known as Anon is sick and tired of the rules of the universe—at least the one he’s found himself in at the moment. So he decides to pick a fight with the pony equivalent of Jesus.

Nothing good ensues.

Sometimes, running is a very efficient method not to run out of time. And Twilight certainly has every interest in making sure she doesn't run out of time, and therefore in doing things as efficiently as possible. She wouldn't want to be late, after all.

Man, a lot of stuff happens in this story. Spike ODs on cocaine, Twilight has to revive him, somepony gets murdered, Gilda is a baker now I think, the CMC beat up Diamond Tiara, and there's a gryphon pimp named Pussycat McGee. Oh also Rick Sanchez briefly shows up for some reason. An exceedingly dumb collab with TheRedBrony, created after a drunk/high agreement to create such a monstrosity at BronyCon.

Once upon a time, a long time ago, TheRedBrony wrote a story I really liked.

What if you had the ability to control time? So much so that you're basically able to do anything? My answer, is make some friends! Now if only everypony wasn't afraid of me.

This is for any other poor sap that finds themselves stranded in the kingdom of Equestria with no way to get back to Earth. A guide on the dos and don'ts of living in Equestrian society. Follow our advise carefully, and you may just survive.

Or don't! Whatever works for you.

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The chapters of this story are not in any particular order. Each new chapter is whatever subject I felt like writing about at the time, so there probably won't be consistent flow between them.

Featured on March 4th, 2020. Two features at the same time! WOOH!

This story is a sequel to (Im)mortality

After the end of Equestria, Twilight, Luna, and Celestia keep each other company, reflecting on the mysteries that trouble them.

A side-story/spiritual sequel to my story "(Im)mortality," but reading that story is not required to understand this one.

Cover art made from this image, which, being from the Hubble Space Telescope, is in the public domain in the United States.

Anon takes over Spike’s job of transcribing Twilight’s friendship reports. He does exactly what you’d expect.

Companion fic containing Celestia’s replies up to Letter 120 - To: Anon, From HRH Sunbutt written by Snow