Dear Princess Sunbutt

by 2Merr

Letter 66

Dear Princess Solar Panel,

Today I accidentally learned that you can make someone feel slightly better about a terrible experience if you bring it up enough times in casual conversation.

I’ve been letting Anon tag along with me when I travel to the Crystal Empire because he’s fun and I enjoy his presence, and also because he distracts Candy and Shane while I peruse the Crystal Archives for dumb stuff involving illegal magic (probably). On more than one occasion, I’ve heard him joking to Onii-chan about the various times we’ve traumatized him. This morning he said, and I quote: “Remember that time we kidnapped you and you almost died? Yeah, good times. We should do that again one of these days.”

Being as dumb and purple as I am, I expected Shoney’s to have another panic attack, but that was not the case this time. He actually laughed and mentioned how relatively uneventful things had become for him since then.

I was not only dumbfounded, but also purplefounded. Anon’s humongous brain had once again graced our undeserving world with its presence. The continual reintroduction of traumas in a safe environment has slowly desensitized Shinzō Abe to the point where he can now almost look me in the eye.

This was all very clearly planned by Anon from the beginning and was not in any way an unintended side effect of him trying to see if he could get Shirley to piss himself when his wife wasn’t around. Just thought I’d reiterate that.

Your favorite purple unicorn mare named Twilight Sparkle,
Twilight “Twilight Sparkle” Sparkle

Comments

[OrchestraOfRuin]

Twilight "Twilight Sparkle" Sparkle, the names just keep devolving into nonsense, I love it.

[Dont tread on me]

Quality

[Allsmiles]

(As usual, the greatest flaw of this site continues to be that I cannot give something a 'like' more than once. A true tragedy.)

[ANW]

Dear Anon,
One of the things I look forward to in your letters is seeing what you call me and Twilight. They are usually good for a chuckle.

So, I have to ask if you are still feeling the effects the medicine? Because that was a bad Twilight name.

From
Princess Solor Flare

P.s. Luna has invited me and Cadence to movie night.
We'll bring the snacks, if you can bring the drinks.

[PonyDragon]

I was not only dumbfounded, but also purplefounded.

: "We are going to die!"

[TheDino27]

9888637
Absolutely no offense , but in addition to being quite well known that raw cashews are toxic (It is in France at least , dunno about other countries) , NO ONE should EVER eat something if he isn't almost sure isn't toxic .

But anyway , let's not start an argument about cashews and agree to disagree .

[TheDino27]

Your favorite purple unicorn mare named Twilight Sparkle,
Twilight “Twilight Sparkle” Sparkle

Easy one right there , but still nonsensically funny.

[FrostTheWolf]

On more than one occasion, I’ve heard him joking to Onii-chan about the various times we’ve traumatized him.

Not quite sure if Shining himself would see it the same way

[mishun]

Twilight “Twilight Sparkle” Sparkle

Pumping lemma, yay!

[2Merr]

9889152
It's not common knowledge in the US because we almost never deal with raw cashews. It's difficult to find a store that sells them, and the "raw" cashews they do sell are actually boiled or steamed to remove the hurty juice.

[TheDino27]

9889192
Understandable , I forgot that the USA ironically has a much more strict food policy when it comes to selling it in stores (or at all tbh).

[FanOfMostEverything]

Is that Twilight "Please don't call me 'Twilight "Twilight Sparkle" Sparkle'" Sparkle?

[Distressing Prose]

I was not only dumbfounded, but also purplefounded.

oh my god.

[Venerable Ro]

9889192

I knew cashews were toxic, is that not common knowledge then? Huh.

[HoneyBadgerr]

9889251
my brain hurts.

[PaintedPony]

9889152
Well, if you've eaten cashews before, you wouldn't think they are toxic. Whether they've been roasted or not. It's not really common knowledge here in the States because I guess the roasted salted kind are so prevalent, in fact I've never seen a raw cashew. I knew they were toxic, but I've found out long ago, just because I know something, I can't ass-u-me other people do.

[Double_Bubble]

9890969
9889666
9889152

Only the shells are poisonous... Check Wiki

[Kadigan]

I like how this Celestia is trying to see good in the both of them.

Like - really, really trying.

[vinyldash23]

Shoney's... you must be from Missouri.

[2Merr]

9918636
Nope

[Bronzer]

9889251
I knew that name sounded familiar!

[Bronzer]

9889236
...how is it ironic that a country whose regulations nearly entirely revolve around health and safety...has health and safety regulations for food?

[creativeusername34]

9892148
Why is this conversation still going