Dear Princess Light Theme,
I happened upon a book today by someone named Lifted Wings. They talked about loss and how it can cling to your soul if you don’t get closure. I haven’t allowed myself to have closure, mostly because I have no lingering emotions for anything that isn’t immediately useful or named Trixie. In light of this, I have decided to hold a number of funerals for those I have lost. They will be held tomorrow, one after the other, because there’s no way in hell I’m pretending to care for longer than a day.
The first few will be for each of my previous bodies. There are probably more I haven’t told anyone about, but those don’t matter. The next two will be for Trixie’s bodies. Hers will be missed the most. The last will be for Goatmeal. After a long and funny life, he finally dried out yesterday. He was starting to stink anyway, and goat milk is expensive.
You and Dark Theme are both invited, but I know princesses are busy, so don’t feel pressured to come. It's okay if you don’t care about your student’s many tragic deaths and don’t want to say anything good about me in front of other people. I understand.
Your self-replicating suicide bomber,
The Priestess of Purple
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Damn, I hope someone is going to pick up and continue Celestia's side of this story. As good as this fic is, there is just something missing without Celestia's response to these purpler than purple events that have purpled.
This is kinda morbid…I hope there's an in between chapter the tells how the funeral went.
Your self-replicating suicide bomber,
The Priestess of Purple
10214706
I disagree, the Light/Dark theme joke got a laugh out of me, and the "self-replicating suicide bomber" is very clever imo
10214770
To each their own I say. I'm glad you found this chapter good! I just found that this one didn't stick with me, and felt like voicing it.
I love reading these letters.
Oh no.
10213559
Explosion but bigger.
Constantly exploding.
Exerting an aura as if a bomb just went off where you stand constantly pushing others away painfully, or in the case of Dash approaching pain, suffering, and death. And a big mess.
This will end in the raised not-spirits of their previous corpses. You mark my words.
Mwah
Perfect
This is just the best thing. All Hail Light Theme
As of righting this I have now read ever letter ye have written and laughed at how each one of them has been taken to account for how twilight would be if her moral compass was off by even a degree more then the show would be is great. I could not help bit go to see what the responses had been just because of these letters. So thank you for bringing laughter to me thought these.
"The Priestess of Purple" got me. Great letter.
Pinkie, of course, was excited to throw a chain of wakes.
I honestly forgot about goatmeal.
This is actually pretty funny. :D
Giving your clone bodies a funeral? Might as well perform a seance to see if you could conjure up your own ghost while you're at it.
10219621
Stop giving her ideas.
10214696
Well, I could give it a shot as I've got plenty of free time wed-fri, but I'm not as funny or clever as the previous author. I'm also lazy. You might get a dozen reply-letters one week, and zero for the next month. But if everybody is okay with that (I don't really see anyone else stepping up....) then I'm all for it assuming I remember that I made this comment. If this comment gets at least 15 upvotes in the next week someone send me a PM reminding me about it.
10214699
I was there. It went well.
Better than expected, actually.
There was purple everywhere though.
Twilight even managed to explode & die again while regaling the account of one her clones' deaths. She just wanted to be thorough in teaching everyone what happened.
The plus side is that Celestia has banned funerals for replacement bodies, so we won't have to do this again... Well, only one more time...
Twilight, I am inclined to share with you a quote.
If you yourself can not release,
Then he will come to take a piece.