Hey Celestia,
I've finally come to accept that the natural laws which govern our universe are completely and utterly arbitrary whenever Pinkie Pie is involved.
Magic on its own is already a fat middle finger to physics, Friendship Magic™ is an even bigger middle finger to normal magic, but Pinkie Pie? Pinkie Pie is like God himself took a massive pink shit on the very concept of logic. (Minus the shit part, of course. Pinkie’s pretty k.)
I think I can empathize with Twilight a little better now. I know you told her to give up on understanding pink energy, but I thought you were only saying that because she was being more crazy than usual. But no, she had every single right to take a dip in the crazy lake and swim as long as she wanted. I feel like I’m going crazy myself.
The saddest part is I’m not even trying to understand it. I haven’t tried studying it or even thinking too hard about it. Hell, I’ve been trying to ignore it! But it’s impossible to ignore something when it’s buttfucking your entire perception of reality right in front of your face. And not the fun kind of buttfucking, either. It's the uncomfortable kind; the kind where you can tell neither person is enjoying it, but they just started, so it would be awkward to stop, and it was supposed to be a special thing for their anniversary, but it turned out awful, and you’re forced to watch the whole time because they get off to that kinda stuff, and they both keep giving you weird looks like it’s your responsibility to put a stop to it, and then their kids walk in because they wanted to introduce their new friend from school and they start crying because they have no idea what’s going on, so you try to leave before remembering you’re a quadriplegic, and then the police storm in because someone called in a bomb threat, and your wheelchair gets knocked over and you fall on top of one of the kids, and they start screaming because you’re too heavy, and then one of the police later posts the body cam footage to the internet because he thought it was funny, and then years later you have to sit in a courtroom and watch the footage again because you and the couple were accused of a crime and the body cam footage was the only hard alibi they had.
That kind of buttfucking. It’s not fun.
I don’t want to deal with it anymore. I’m taking all the liquor I have, grabbing Sweetie Belle, and sitting in my corner until the world makes sense again.
Anon
Heh
This comment was approved by the anti first bureau
That was extraordinarily detailed.
Aw, he's seen Twilight die twice now, and this is what drives him off the deep end?
9895991
Yeah, but Sparky does stupid shit from trying too hard. Ponk just exists and reality says "fuck this shit, I'm out."
Anon has seen some shit.
In case of existential dread, grab a loli and get drunk
...anon? A-are you ok?
Jesus Christ these last couple of chapters.
Pinkie, what did you do?
9896004
Agreed. Anon's have had an ... interesting time while living.
And I love how your comment and your user picture complement each other so nicely.
Something tells me that Pinkie did not take the news of the closure of her summoner license really well. Poor Anon
9896023
I think Anon required a plushie to hug for comfort, and the loli was the closest thing at hand for that purpose.
:I need an adult?
I am an adult, now shut up and let me hug you!
9895849
I got the meaning and was stating, with visuals, in a humorous way what my feelings were on the subject. Also Anon being oblivious was funny.
Dear Pinkiemania Dianne Pie
What did you do to break Anon?
Signed
HRHs
Princess Celestia and Princess Luna
Sometimes, you just need a squeaky marshmallow and booze to cope
You know, I’d actually like to see the relationship Sweetie Belle and Anon have.
Anon is truly the John Oliver of Equestria.
Poor, poor, Anon.
Pinkie just messed yo' shit up.
She wasn't even trying.
9896180
They were visiting Fillydelphia for the first time, and Anon complained his fingers were cold.
So Pinkie reached into a knothole and pulled out a pair of gloves she had there in case of a glove emergency.
The gloves fit great - probably the only pair on the planet with five fingers.
This has been a very entertaining read! 10/10 fucking adorable.
9896785
Bah Discord is supposed to be a chaos god. If anything Anon's letter to Tia would be about how disapointing Discord is.
I can't even hear colours, where is all the non-elucidian geometry? and THERES SUPPOSED TO BE A SKULL THRONE!
I've seen things you princesses wouldn't believe,
The undead on fire over Sparkle's shoulder.
I've seen magic lasers glitter in the dark near tartarus gate.
All those things pale next to ponk, like beers down the drain.
Time...
to cry.
9896470
From how vividly detailed he's describing this situation, I would definitely agree.
Side note, I want to see Anon describe the other Equestrian countries now just to see what he'll say
9892647
To be exact, they are steamed to make sure that any juice that might have been dropped on them from the shell is taken care of.
9896068 Did NOT do
9896898 I would
Next time you see Ponk just watch when she start projecting her pinkness and immediately hug her. That will stop wherever she doing right away unless that IS hugging. That will also work as therapy for what you just almost had to witness.
Or kiss, that would be more effective, but may cause some very bizarre probability branches to manifest and cause further damage to your common sense, understanding of causality and logical thinking. Her pinkness won't hurt them as much after that, though.
9898071
Ignore everything else and just kiss ponk anyway
Wow what a mindfuck
*blink*
If you think about it, Pinkie Pie make perfect sense.
Since the "Pinkie Sense™" isn't exclusive to her alone, (see Cheese Sandwich, Maud) it can be assumed that this behavior can occur naturally in Earth ponies. And with that I built my theory.
Pinkie is just attuned with her inherant magic more than most other earth ponies.
If you account that magic exist in all things, inanimate or living, magic permeates the whole of the world from the macro to micro scales. And if we assume that everything in it, being the whole of ecosystems worldwide, we can think that everything connected in it would interact like cells, nerves, and other parts of a body. Making the world itself a living, thinking, feeling thing through that magic connection.
And an earth pony is attuned to that magic.
The world itself is alive. And its communicating through Pinkie. She's connected to the living earth to the extent that she can do things that don't APPEAR to be normal.
Whether the earth communicates warning to her by affecting her body (Pinkie Sense™) or bend the physical laws of the world as Earth allows her to, is up to debate. But with so much information and sensation coursing through her (its the entire friggin' WORLD for God's sake) you mentally fall into two extremes.
It either renders you totally zen (Maud) or you go a little wackadoodle (Pinkie, Cheese Sandwich).
Rainbow Dash can break the sound barrier.
Twilight Sparkle can bend time and space.
And no matter how much everyone hates it, Pinkie Pie is what PEAK PERFORMANCE looks like for an earth pony.
9898613
YOU MAGNIFICENT BASTARD! YOU SOLVED IT!
9896023
I've got the booze. You got a loli I can borrow?
That one massive paragraph about buttfucking reminds me of this comment on Reddit.
You mother fucker. Do you know how much of a headache i got from trying not to laugh while everyone was asleep?
"I’m taking all the liquor I have, grabbing Sweetie Belle, and sitting in my corner until the world makes sense again"
anon 100% knows how to cope properly.
sb can make anything better
That explanation was awfully specific.
You're nothing less than a poet, 2Merr. Don't ever let anyone tell you different.
That. Was a TERRIBLE type of buttfucking. And I could not stop laughing!
9898613
But then, what does this mean for Lil’ Cheese Pie, I wonder?
Gaze too long into the Pink Abyss, and it makes faces back at you
10206467
No, it makes you into a balloon animal that finds out when you breathe in anything other than helium your voice drops pitch. Then you wonder why you still have a voice, and you look into a mirror and see that it is you.
*wheeze*
9898613
finally, someone was able to understand pinky, and it's not, "stupid take everything for granted"!
9898613
Why did my brain come to the conclusion that The Pink Abyss is a jedi after reading this?