Dear Princess Sunbutt

by 2Merr

Letter 134

Author's Note:

Letters 109 and 124 for context

Dear Princess Champagne Supernova,

I think whoever made the zombie deer (who I refuse to call by his given name, Zambie) is using your old castle ruins as a base. One of the entrances I remember being open is now blocked by Big “The Rock” Boulder, and looking at the surroundings, it couldn’t have fallen there naturally. I wasn’t able to get any closer because I’m a pussy, and also because I had the gf and my two dudebros with me. Left Twix is the exact opposite of stealthy, and Anon’s hypermasculine aura makes him stick out like a whore’s thumb. I could have gotten in with Spike, but he’s apparently the one thing I have any protective instincts for. Go figure.

I plan to go back tomorrow for “extended reconnaissance” when I’m better prepared. I definitely won’t go exploring by myself in the dead of night because I guess I don’t sleep anymore. As promised (with no crossed fingers whatsoever), I will not engage and will contact Sailor Moon immediately if I encounter the rogue necromancer/demon. P sure it’s a necromancer, demons don’t need shelter unless they’re somehow trapped on this godforsaken plane* thanks to magic bullshit with no chance of ever going home or seeing their family again because even the horrible life they had before was too good for them. Or it’s one with an unfulfillable contract. Either/or.

Your purple paladin,
Right Twix

---

* I give pony land a C+. The food is meh, and the animals keep talking to me, but being tall is pretty k. Plus, the management is a 14/10 on a bad day. It evens out.

Love, Anon

Comments

[FrostTheWolf]

I could have gotten in with Spike, but he’s apparently the one thing I have any protective instincts for. Go figure.

Not sure if Spike appreciates that or not considering... well, Twiggles.

[Humpuny clockwork]

Are you sure is protective instincts or a confusión for purpleness that makes the twigles unable to diferenciarse spike from her own body (becouse purple) so the thoughts she had was that she was negated by two brings and she was alone in her curiosity?

[Hotel_Chicken]

10278561
It's kinda like having a yandere having protective instincts for you, it's creepy and also better that they'd prefer to stab someone else and not you... Except the Yandere in this situation also has OCD, a double-life of weird death sex that you may or may not know about, and also gave your job away to a weird alien from another dimension that teaches you fun swear words... Also the Yandere is purple.

[Neece]

10278571
It's protective instincts. Do remember Purple has no compulsion against blowing up her own body to get rid of a headache (or just forgoing having a bath), but at least she's a good enough pony not to do that to Spike.

[ANW]

Dear Twilight Sparkle,
Do not engage. And do not do any reconnaissance. Especially during the night. You do have some training in dealing with Necromancers, but only to mid-C's.

One who can raise deer, who are resistant to those spells even when dead, are easily mid to high B's.
If the deer itself is the mage, that means it can cast the spell on its own dead body, bringing it up to High A.

No engagement, no recon.
From HRH
Princess Celestia

Dear Anon
Really, a C+?
Maybe some Moon Cakes will tempt you better.
From
Celestia.

P.S.
Spike, don't tell him this, but the main ingredient isn't flour, but real moon dust.

[vortex123]

s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/03/2c/89/032c89f1af40fe7907737ef591cc24e4--cute-pictures-the-moon.jpg

[Spacefrog]

10278595

P.S.
Spike, don't tell him this, but the main ingredient isn't flour, but real moon dust.

That's how it got Cave Jonson

[Wild Stallion]

10278682
There just wasn't enough room for two crazy science nerds in Equestria.

[Venerable Ro]

10278669

She wears it better than Dash did.

media.discordapp.net/attachments/357345911330045966/720111106483421234/large.png?width=351&height=466

One should never trust a talking cat, especially the ones that promise superpowers and a uniform.

[Captain Nitpick]

10278906

One should never trust a talking cat, especially the ones that promise superpowers and a uniform.

I have no idea what you're talking about.

upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/6/60/KyubeyMadokaMagica.png

[Venerable Ro]

10278931

I wouldn't do that to poor Dash, I was actually talking about the one that comes with a wand.

[Officer Hotpants]

Luna is Sailor Moon to me from this moment, forward. "Moon Princess power!"

[FanOfMostEverything]

Left and Right Twix made me smile. Sailor Moon even more so. Calling in the local Sailor Scout to moonbeam the site from orbit may be the safest option here.

[Snow]

10278669
derpicdn.net/img/2020/5/22/2355242/large.png

[artofwar77]

Always nice to see Anon slipping some stealth compliments to Celestia.

[alfonso_rd_33]

10278931
OH SWEET CELESTIA'S DIRTY UNDERWEAR!

KILL IT WITHIN FAIYAAA!!!!

[Mister-H]

Getting a bit passive aggressive there Anon

[True Edge]

Or it’s one with an unfulfillable contract.

Is that a Thrackerzod reference?