Dear Princess Sunbutt

by 2Merr

Letter 9

Dear Princess Celigula,*

Today I didn’t learn for the second time to not be such a huge racist. I’m alone in my racism because all my friends learned their lesson the first time. Not me, though. Not Twilight “Fuck Anything That’s Not A Pony” Sparkle.

A group of griffons were passing through town, minding their own business. I apparently knew a dickish griffon named Gilda in the past, so you just know I had to start some shit. These new griffons were confused when I yelled at them, so I started yelling louder to prove they were bad. More stuff happened, blah blah blah, friendship, and now the griffons and I are k, despite my rampant racism.

Your pony supremacist,
Sparkass

---

* It’s a human reference, so you probably won’t get it. But I thought it was funny, and isn’t that what really matters?

Love, Anon

Author's Note:

Celestia’s reply

Comments

[Snow]

To my most faithful student, Twilight Sparkle,

I'm glad to hear you learned such an important lesson in allowing ones preconceptions to color their view of others they have not yet met. Also I am pleased that you have managed to make amends for those erroneous preconceptions, and have made new and interesting friends, with unique insights and backgrounds. Perhaps you would like to visit for tea another time soon?

Your loving mentor,
Princess Celestia

Dear Anon,

I do not understand the reference but I am left imagining it to be rather insulting. I may or may not have deserved that in response to forcing off-brand coffee on you, admittedly. Luna has been rather harsh on the idea. Still, I'm glad you're finding amusements. Meanwhile I need to go make sure my student didn't insult any being important.

Penned by,
HRH Celestia

[Dinkledash]

The thought of Twilight “Fuck Anything That’s Not A Pony” Sparkle gave me a brief pang of hope, but alas it was a different context of fuck than the one I was looking for.

[Vladistad]

What is Celigula a reference to?

[NotMyUsualUsername]

9858454
Caligula. Roman Emperor infamous for being a nutjob.

[nothingtoseehere]

Not Twilight “Fuck Anything That’s Not A Pony” Sparkle.

FATNAP. As far as I'm concerned, that's Twilight's new street name.

[darthrex]

9858706
He made a horse a senator, something Celestia has almost certainly also done, so the comparison is apt.

[Yutah123]

9859214

I would've never noticed that acronym.

[TinMan]

[Black--Soul]

Sunbutt needs to straight out Mightnight butt before some seriouse shit happens

[vinyldash23]

WTF to every fucking thing in this letter. Seriously, it's fucking weird.

[Bookwurm666]

9860401
this is Equestrea the entire Government is horses

[Shadow Star]

9859214
nice work Napmare!