Letter 74
Dear Princess Ceiling Fan,
Today I learned you shouldn’t yell at children for being short. They can’t help it and their parents will get mad at you for breaking into their house at four in the morning. I also learned that taking the children to a secluded location away from the parents before yelling at them is also frowned upon.
Your friendly neighborhood trauma dispenser,
The Book
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Dear God, Twilight...
Damn kids, being all short. And damn parents, getting annoyed when I kidnap said kids.
i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/001/379/797/a81.gif
I'm sure there is a totally reasonable and rational reason for this.
Totally.
BEST... NAMING CONVENTION... EVER!!!!
9898106
And you'll tell us when you do invent it, right?
9898050
...thgiliwT ,doG raeD
Obviously, That twilight is cuckoo 6 Cocoa puffs, so maybe telling it like this might get and be properly processed in that 1ft. thick skull of hers...
Hokay that's it, we're calling Velvet.
I just saw Snow's Response letter on the sister fic. Holy Shit! Celestia is bring in Twilight's MOTHER!
I sometimes get the sense that you, 2Merr, would try and create crazy and out-of-context situations/implications in your letters just to see what Snow can come up with. Now it seems that Snow is firing right back.
Maan, this is getting more and more entertaining by the second. I can't wait for you response.
Your move now 2Merr. What will Twilight (and anon) is going to do with mother possibly coming in to visit? (possibly bringing "Severe Disappointment" with her depending on her talk with Celestia)
That killed me
I'm convinced that the only reason Celestia chose Twiggle Spackle is because she was short on time and all the other candidates were somehow worse than Tinkle Sprinkle
9898232
Ah know, right?
Jesus Christ!
9898303
Well to be fair, Sunset Shimmer was apparently her first choice, but she ended doing the whole 'conquer another world so I can conquer Equestria with a couple hundred random teenagers so I can prove myself to Celestia, whose approval I still crave despite acting like I hate her' thing. You can decide for yourself if retrieving and rehabilitating Sunset would have been a better use of time and effort than teaching this particular Twilight.
Twilight... WTF... lol
Okay then
9898556
Was probably a case of damned if you do, damned if you don't.
I expect the next letter being about Twilight in jail or something
Why Twilight? What is going through that head of yours? On second thought, I'm scared to find out.
At first I thought this one was from Anon himself since he claimed he was going to grab booze and Sweetie Bell and hide in a corner until things made sense again until we got to the yelling. Though really, Anon being Anon, pony-folk are probably so used to him being loud that they take it in stride and don't realize when he's actually yelling unless he has a bullhorn.
Now I wonder, did the Minotaurs invent Bullhorns?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8bfyS-S-IJs
You know if you made these letters from both stories into episodes it would be for mature audiences only.
9898946
That way lies Heresy.
My reactions to reading these letters have been everything from hysterical laughter to "What. The. F***." And sometimes an odd combination of the two.