Dear Princess Celestia,
After an extended conversation with Anon, I’ve come to understand you plan to hold a meeting with my mother regarding the incident early this morning. Anon has admitted he greatly exaggerated my words in his letter, so I would like to clear up any misunderstandings. Whether it was a prank on his part or a lack of proper communication on mine, the fact remains that I was not yelling at foals for being short at four in the morning. That’s ridiculous, and frankly I’m a little hurt that you believe I would do such a thing.
I’ll address the inaccuracies as they appear in the initial letter (assuming Anon was being fully honest when he told me what he wrote).
- I was not yelling, I was explaining things in a heated fashion. I was forced to raise my voice at points because they were being rude and talking over me.
- They were not foals, they were siblings of twelve and thirteen.
- The focus of my lecture was not to criticize their height, but rather to explain why their height is below average for their age group and why that matters.
- Their “parents” are not their true parents, they’re both adopted.
- The parents were not mad, they were afraid, then surprised and possibly annoyed when they realized it was me.
- I did not break into the house, the front door was unlocked and there was a Welcome mat.
- It was not four in the morning, it was three forty-five.
- I did not take the siblings to a secluded location, I took them to the Apple’s barn. Considering its proximity to Ponyville, it can hardly be called secluded.
- Again, I was not yelling. I simply wanted to make sure they understood how short they are.
Of course, I must reiterate that I have since learned my methods were less than ideal. In the future, I will wait until a more appropriate time to strike up a conversation. I’ve been told most ponies prefer to wait until at least an hour after sunrise, and that conversing over breakfast is a common social practice.
With the above points cleared up, I would humbly request you cancel the meeting with my mother. I’m sure it would cause her a great deal of stress to realize she was summoned by the Princess over a simple miscommunication.
Your faithful student,
Twilight SparkleP.S. - Anon wants me to tell you he promises his future transcriptions will be as accurate as before, and that this lapse in professionalism was a one-time thing.
... Twilight, you do realize that just because the details weren't entirely accurate doesn't mean you would be forgiven for it, right?
That's still the other half of 'Breaking and Entering' Twilight.
Really Twilight? I'm guessing Wisdom is her dump stat.
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Magic ability seems to be inversely proportional to common sense
Intelligence is knowing a tomato is a fruit.
Wisdom is knowing not to put a tomato in a fruit salad.
Twilight has the former, not the later.
Yeah yeah, tell it to the judge
Well I don't think miscommunication is much of an issue here. Thanks for clarifying the situation Miss Sparkle.
that is just the same but with more steps
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And charisma is the ability to sell a tomato based fruit salad as salsa
I fell like Anon is in danger and Celestia must go there to help and see if he is trapped (probably in the basement) and force medications through Twilights' throat
So... She just did exactly as Anon described, but with fancier words
Right framing is the most important thing ever!
Which was replaced with this one
images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/517yOUV5htL._SX466_.jpg
after current incident.
So, all I saw was Twiggles making excuses the entire letter. Anon, are you okay?
Wow, Twilight you did not improve your position whatsoever. Though this does mean she will be much more suspicious of Anon in the future.
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She was basically saying "I totally didn't do that, and this is how I did it but worded in a nicer way"
Kind of like EA's "they're not lootboxes. They're surprise mechanics"
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"That's the problem with you magic types: you're so reliant on your special power, you forget to use your brains!"
- Actual quote from Cozy Glow
And now you are being a cunt, Twi.
Severe Disappointment, please.
Oh boy. Perhaps Celly needs to have Special Agent SD verify the whereabouts of Anon and effect a rescue if necessary.
Well, definitely interesting to see this side of the letters being the response.
That being said... Twiggles, you're the dumbest smart pony there is.
Celestia. Please go and make sure Anon doesn't need another hospital stay. You know it's serious if she wrote this letter herself.
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nope, her Wis is -7325
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only if you're purple, a pony or your name is Twilight S. Sparkle (If All of the above then for every unit of Magic the pony have it lacks 3525 units of common sense)
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Pretty mooch
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EA's crimes were less severe (And That's the Gamer in me talking
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And the problem of the loli psycho *yay* pones is that they are a bunch of worthless know it all - Actual quote to Cozy Glow from the version of Me in Equestria)
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Nah, SD is too busy boning Lyrical one
You know most people just use a shovel to dig their own grave...
Twilight uses an excavator.
upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/3/3b/Caterpillar5230.jpg
Doubt is a broken record that plays inside her head. She tries to turn it down, but can't quite drown it out. She's tortured everyday. These never ending worries are pulling at the seams. So many times now she could have just tapped out, and all the walls would fall down around her. All anypony would tell her, is all the bad news. How it would fall through. But no matter what they do or what they say, it's never gonna be ok.
(From the point of Celestia)
Somehow having all of the details only makes it worse. At least before I could assume he was exaggerating, but he summed it up pretty well, he only left out that there was more than one kid involved.
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To finish the paraphrase/quote: "Hey guys! I found the bard!"
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I know.
I was just making a general comparison with the strategy and wording.
...
I have only read the first chapter and I love it already.
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I think Twilight is breaking out Bagger 288 here.
Uh...
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Twilight doesn't use an excavator, that's too much work.
She fucking nukes a hole into the ground.
Something tells me Splash Damage gonna reach Canterlot.
How is it that knowing the details and some of the context makes the situation worse?
Everything has already been said so I'm just going to sit here and laugh.
But why?
For what purpose?
what the hell, Twilight?
... I get the feeling Anon has very little (if any) knowledge of this letter...
How and why did any of this happen?
Oh... Oh my god...
Anon needs to hit Twi again.
Whew! God forbid he exaggerate so terribly again!
OH MY GOD. That whole list of Twilight Making It Worse, and then this. Pure genius.
Twiggel Spiggel is at it again, folks!
Tiny Sprinkly, what the fuck
You really digging your grave deeper Twilight
I’m reminded of serial killer and cannibal Richard Chase, who only entered houses that were unlocked. When interviewed, it was discovered that he believed that locked doors were a sign that he was unwelcome, but unlocked doors were an invitation to enter.