Dear Princess Sunbutt

by 2Merr

Letter 126

Dear Princess Bunsen Booty,

My purple has reached a shade never before seen in this dimension. I woke Anon up at 2 in the goddamn morning to make him write for me because I’m beyond lazy and I hate seeing others be comfortable. The reason you are receiving this at a reasonable hour is because Anon cares more about your rest than I care about his.

The big hoopla: Why is there a concept of a bottomless pit? If there’s no bottom, it’s not a pit. Otherwise, we could say a donut has a bottomless pit in the middle and it would technically be true. It makes more sense for there to be a topless pit, where a bottom exists and the sides stretch up forever. Whether the “top” is open or covered doesn’t matter, an infinitely long hollow cavity still qualifies as a pit.

Obviously this is impossible without an unsustainable amount of spatial looping, but regardless, I had to let you know as soon as possible. I apparently think this will change something major about how we approach magic theory, but it’s 2 in the goddamn morning and Anon is not in the mood to write anymore about mystical bullshit he’s too smart and handsome to understand.

Your perpetual night owl,
Plumpernickel

Comments

[FanficReader920]

There's the Anon we all know and love.

[clubbzz]

Was getting worried for Anon there for a while.

[Illi]

Anon should do a study on the effects purple does to the brain.

[Level Dasher]

Getting philosophical now, Purplesmfart? At 2am? Why don't you wake up Spike like you used to instead?

[FurryBrony]

Technically speaking, a bottomless pit is just a pit with a bottom that is so far down you can't see it because it's covered in darkness.

[Disguised]

But if the pit is long it is a trench.

[Emtu]

*gasp!* It's the Purple Plumpernickel!

[PonyDragon]

TooPurpleForMe!

[Officer Hotpants]

Twilight is one of those, huh? I take back every nice thing I ever said about her.

[Moonlight_Mist]

10212930
If you want to speak of technicalities, then technically speaking what you described is what a bottomless pit literally is. As in, the literal meaning of the term bottomless pit as it is used and understood in out language.

Actually technically speaking, a bottomless pit is a physical impossibility, because a hole is only a pit if it's a hole in the direction of whatever the local gravitational force is. Something has to be able to fall in a hole for it to be a pit. Thus, the bottom would be the end. Even if it never actually ends with a physical bottom, it ends when you reach the source of gravity acting upon anything that would fall into the pit. At that point, assuming you survive, you'll be rocketed back and forth by the source of gravity, but anytime you pass said source, you'll be falling up until gravity reverses your direction. Even reaching escape velocity wouldn't invalidate the idea of a bottomless pit being impossible, since at that point you're just out of the pit and you fell up to get there.

_{Are you frustrated yet? Should I sing 'The Song That Doesn't End' while I'm at it?}

[vortex123]

10212930

10213090
Or…it’s just a figure of speech, and you two are reading way too into it. To the point of being slightly purple.

[Moonlight_Mist]

10213146
*gasp* I'm turning purple?! Someone get me Zecora! Twilight's copy of Super Naturals was destroyed with the treebrary! I need Zecora! Who knows what else happened to me when I unknowingly came into contact with Poison Joke?!

...what? I'd be turning blue? I'm not turning purple? But he said I was purple! What? What do you mean 'it's a way of life'?! Do I look like I joined the Violet Covenant?!

False alarm, everyone. I'm not purple. You all may return to your regularly scheduled backgrounding.

[Ninjadeadbeard]

Oh... my... Luna...

I can see the stars, and they are Purple!

[HB_DS2013]

Anon wrote this? Good. In a way, it's a good thing Anon took over for Spike. The little guy deserves better than a purple madmare.

[Alicon Glactistar]

10213223
Yes, some of the biggest ones are. They don't live long and explode violently.

Just hope it doesn't apply to our little purple star.

The exploding part I mean.

[Ninjadeadbeard]

10213551
If Alicorns are immortal in this fic, one's impossible, and the other's inevitable.

[Spiritus Arcane]

Dear Princess Bunsen Booty,

Careful with this one Anon, you sound like you're calling her gassy.

[Mr 0]

Have we ever found out what poison joke does to Anon? My money is on it making him purple and talk/write "smart" you know use as many complicated words as possible when the regular words would be just fine.

[spikls]

We are reaching levels of purple so intense that skin cancers would get cancers.

[SRY]

10213090
Think orbital freefall.
If you were to build a hollow torus (aka big tube, think the inside of hula hoop) in orbit and then enter the tube you would continue to fall within the tube making orbits of the planet, the tube would therefore qualify as a pit without a bottom. You could have multiple variations of this basic principle of course including a cylinder being "the pit" that has neither top or bottom and falls with you (easier to construct material wise).

Of course the spatial looping does not have to be that excessive to make a bottomless pit, think of two portals from the game portal aligned with each other where falling from one to the other continues until acted upon... which would be very bad as you'd hit at least terminal velocity, obviously adjusting aerodynamics or doing this in a vacuum would give potentially higher speeds. Assuming it follows the second law of thermodynamics, though a constant source of energy would be required as you would be performing "work", if not (because magic - fu physics) run water through it to a turbine and instant free electricity.

[Ryouga1100]

10213159
That was a prepondence of purple prose to posit the preposterousness of popping up purple

[WorldWalker128]

Anon needs to trade DIscord for a typewriter and give that to Twilight for Christmas or something. Granted, she'd probably wake Anon up anyway despite having an ability to type out a letter several HUNDRED times faster than him by appropriately applying pressure via force-field or telekinesis to the right keys at the right time....

[Coretz]

10213665
It would turn Anon purple.

[Acadians6545]

10213665
Yeah it was a previous letter that he got a hold of some and it gave him an extra butt cheek. Forget which one exactly though.

[Sombrananas]

Interesting view of donut holes to be honest.

10213090
Sounds like a black hole. One moment. Hey Luna I need to test something. Your consent is not necessary.

[KvAT]

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