• Member Since 12th Aug, 2019
  • offline last seen Dec 13th, 2022

Ninjadeadbeard


Writing is just pain leaving the spirit...

The Name...

Not for those who like not knowing how the hotdog is made...

Long ago, during the Dark Times, when there was only passable anime on television and the specter of MySpace dominated the land... there was a terrible writer. A 14-year old who thought that he could write, without ever wondering... if he should. One dark night, under a blood moon, in a fit of writer's pique, he asked a friend on what topic should his next short story be?

The "friend" replied, "What about a Pirate-Ninja-Zombie?"

The foolish cur did not know what horror he had wrought! The writer delved furiously into his cause... a cause whose tail was called, "The Adventures of Ryuzaki Deadbeard, Pirate King, Ninja Master, Zombie Emperor!"

It was awful. An unholy blend of Naruto, One Piece, Bleach, and Discworld (forgive me Sir Terry, I knew not what I did). It involved Time Turtles, an army of Egyptian Mechas, and a Cat in a Hat who sold DREAMS as weapons of war. The story could not be destroyed, save in the place in which it was wrought, and so it was cast back into the files of MySpace, where it was smote into its ruin.

Yet the damage was done. And a terrible word of power was forever etched into the writer's soul. That sad, little writer, who gained wisdom... at a terrible price.

And then blabbed the whole story for the internet to mock. Good job.

Latest Stories
37

Blog Posts
114

  • 71 weeks
    Well. This is new. And horrible.

    I’ll be candid and short, since my typing is currently compromised by lack of computer and a ventilator that makes voice-to-chat darn near impossible.

    UPDATE:

    Read More

    42 comments · 2,694 views
  • 73 weeks
    Another Month, Another Update

    It feels somewhat hyperbolic to open with "EVERYTHING IS WORSE NOW", but here we are.

    Read More

    18 comments · 558 views
  • 79 weeks
    Collab and Signal Boost!

    Recently, the Kirin Fans of Cuteness group performed a story exchange, and I was a participant! Hooray!

    Then my symptoms got worse! Bleh!

    Read More

    3 comments · 263 views
  • 84 weeks
    Life Update: Things Suck Bad (rereading everything to get back to writing though!)

    It's... been a bit hasn't it? I really shouldn't leave people in the dark so long. But when it's sometimes this dark, I just have to stare at a wall and wonder if any of my (lovely, wonderful, marvelous) watchers really care to hear what's going on.

    Still. You're worth it. And there's better news after the bad stuff, so I'll just spoiler the cruddy stuff and let everyone who wants to skip, skip to the good news.

    Read More

    18 comments · 512 views
  • 92 weeks
    Update: Monkey's Paw

    "Boy, I know the oncologist said before that he expects the surgery to happen within 2 to 3 weeks, but I hope not. I'd want to be able to move around at least for my birthday. Gee, I wonder what the surgeon is going to say today..."

    And the Monkey's Paw clenches.

    GENERAL WARNING. Moroseness and details on bad cancer stuff incoming.

    Read More

    18 comments · 477 views
Dec
7th
2022

Well. This is new. And horrible. · 7:35am Dec 7th, 2022

I’ll be candid and short, since my typing is currently compromised by lack of computer and a ventilator that makes voice-to-chat darn near impossible.

UPDATE:

Read More

Report Ninjadeadbeard · 2,694 views ·
Comments ( 182 )
  • Viewing 178 - 182 of 182

3324080
Oh, I didn’t know

What’s happened to him? Why is he banned?

You are missed.

Rest in peace Ninja, I am late and I was not fortunate enough to know you, but there is something I do know,

you're in a better place, far better than this world could ever be.

  • Viewing 178 - 182 of 182
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