• Member Since 12th Aug, 2019
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Ninjadeadbeard


Writing is just pain leaving the spirit...

The Name...

Not for those who like not knowing how the hotdog is made...

Long ago, during the Dark Times, when there was only passable anime on television and the specter of MySpace dominated the land... there was a terrible writer. A 14-year old who thought that he could write, without ever wondering... if he should. One dark night, under a blood moon, in a fit of writer's pique, he asked a friend on what topic should his next short story be?

The "friend" replied, "What about a Pirate-Ninja-Zombie?"

The foolish cur did not know what horror he had wrought! The writer delved furiously into his cause... a cause whose tail was called, "The Adventures of Ryuzaki Deadbeard, Pirate King, Ninja Master, Zombie Emperor!"

It was awful. An unholy blend of Naruto, One Piece, Bleach, and Discworld (forgive me Sir Terry, I knew not what I did). It involved Time Turtles, an army of Egyptian Mechas, and a Cat in a Hat who sold DREAMS as weapons of war. The story could not be destroyed, save in the place in which it was wrought, and so it was cast back into the files of MySpace, where it was smote into its ruin.

Yet the damage was done. And a terrible word of power was forever etched into the writer's soul. That sad, little writer, who gained wisdom... at a terrible price.

And then blabbed the whole story for the internet to mock. Good job.

Latest Stories
35

Blog Posts
107

  • 1 week
    Spike: THE WONDER DOG!

    New story is out! Please see below!

    And thank you to everyone for reading!


    ESpike: The Wonder Dog
    There is no need to fear, for the Mutt of Might is here!
    Ninjadeadbeard · 3.2k words  ·  20  3 · 180 views

    Read More

    0 comments · 56 views
  • 4 weeks
    I hit a new milestone

    I apparently now have, as of 7:45pm, 4/28/2022, Four Hundred and Twenty Followers.

    For no specific reason, I shall simply post these two pictures in celebration, and say no more.

    Except... thank you. And I love you all.

    6 comments · 138 views
  • 6 weeks
    Bone Grafts Hurt

    I've had dental surgery. Turns out my original dentist didn't remove my back wisdom tooth correctly, so now... fifteen years later, I had to get it done rightly, through surgery.

    Of course, as I already knew, I was a mutant. They found TWO WHOLE WISDOM TEETH back there, where there should only be one.

    Read More

    9 comments · 249 views
  • 9 weeks
    You know what this is

    Trixie Has Returned!

    4 comments · 308 views
  • 12 weeks
    Coming Soon: MORE TRIXIE!!!

    This is just a quick update.

    I have finally conquered my depression and writer's block.

    Legend of Trixie will update soon. It may be a short-ish chapter for me, less than a billion words... but it'll be here. I just need to find the right spot to stop so that you'll all go "Gasp! What!? Why there!? GIVE US MORE YOU NINJA BASTARD!!!"

    But please. Language. This is a family-friendly fanfiction farce. :pinkiehappy:

    6 comments · 425 views
May
20th
2022

Spike: THE WONDER DOG! · 6:03pm May 20th

New story is out! Please see below!

And thank you to everyone for reading!


ESpike: The Wonder Dog
There is no need to fear, for the Mutt of Might is here!
Ninjadeadbeard · 3.2k words  ·  20  3 · 180 views

Read More

Report Ninjadeadbeard · 56 views · Story: Spike: The Wonder Dog ·
Comments ( 137 )
  • Viewing 133 - 137 of 137

3149541
I've been Co-Writing stories, that's all

3148273
People are good. Stories are good. But people and stories together? I question your sanity. :unsuresweetie:

3148678
You are a scholar and a gentleman, and I thank you. :yay:

I've followed you and your follower count is now 420, have fun with that.

  • Viewing 133 - 137 of 137
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