• Member Since 12th Aug, 2019
  • offline last seen Dec 13th, 2022

Ninjadeadbeard


Writing is just pain leaving the spirit...

More Blog Posts114

  • 71 weeks
    Well. This is new. And horrible.

    I’ll be candid and short, since my typing is currently compromised by lack of computer and a ventilator that makes voice-to-chat darn near impossible.

    UPDATE:

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    42 comments · 2,685 views
  • 73 weeks
    Another Month, Another Update

    It feels somewhat hyperbolic to open with "EVERYTHING IS WORSE NOW", but here we are.

    Read More

    18 comments · 557 views
  • 79 weeks
    Collab and Signal Boost!

    Recently, the Kirin Fans of Cuteness group performed a story exchange, and I was a participant! Hooray!

    Then my symptoms got worse! Bleh!

    Read More

    3 comments · 261 views
  • 83 weeks
    Life Update: Things Suck Bad (rereading everything to get back to writing though!)

    It's... been a bit hasn't it? I really shouldn't leave people in the dark so long. But when it's sometimes this dark, I just have to stare at a wall and wonder if any of my (lovely, wonderful, marvelous) watchers really care to hear what's going on.

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    18 comments · 510 views
  • 92 weeks
    Update: Monkey's Paw

    "Boy, I know the oncologist said before that he expects the surgery to happen within 2 to 3 weeks, but I hope not. I'd want to be able to move around at least for my birthday. Gee, I wonder what the surgeon is going to say today..."

    And the Monkey's Paw clenches.

    GENERAL WARNING. Moroseness and details on bad cancer stuff incoming.

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    18 comments · 476 views
Jul
13th
2022

Update: Monkey's Paw · 3:18am Jul 13th, 2022

"Boy, I know the oncologist said before that he expects the surgery to happen within 2 to 3 weeks, but I hope not. I'd want to be able to move around at least for my birthday. Gee, I wonder what the surgeon is going to say today..."

And the Monkey's Paw clenches.

GENERAL WARNING. Moroseness and details on bad cancer stuff incoming.

I saw my surgeon today. He's finally seen the PETscan of my tumor and had some mixed news. The tumor is currently too large to operate on. It's bulging out the top of my leg, but the majority of it is crawling up my femoral and iliac arteries. Which are both big, and really important arteries. So he can't do surgery for now, since doing so has a better than likely chance of kinda, sorta... killing me or merely hitting me with some rather debilitating lifelong issues.

Again, monkey's paw. At least I get to go to a pizza parlor for my birthday. Yaaaay.

But the silver lining of it all is that he thinks immunotherapy and several rounds of radiation will shrink it enough to where it won't either kill me or permanently cripple me to cut this thing out. Which he was really, really concerned about. And rightly so.

Like I said, silver lining. Maybe bronze. Either way, it's been a long day waiting on this information, and I just wanted to let anyone who sees this and like my stuff to know what's going on. I am in as good of spirits as I can be, all things considered. Due to how long this whole ordeal's been, I've weirdly gotten bored of it all. Dying. Or, getting worse.

Regardless. I am here now. And I'm not giving up.

Except in the sense that I'm going back to bed, and looking forward to a better tomorrow.

Stay golden.

Report Ninjadeadbeard · 476 views ·
Comments ( 18 )

I hope the best for you :fluttercry:
Thoughts and prayers, gotta stay positive throughout this adversity

Alright! At the very least, you have information, and knowing is half the battle, and there's an action plan on what to do next now. I will still pray for you that you will be healed in Jesus' name, Ninja!

That doesn't sound good, I hope you get though it somehow.

I wish you the best!

Happy birthday pizza!
Best wishes

Some of that sounds like a bit of good news, even if it's mixed, if immunotherapy and rounds of radiation will help shrink the cancer snough to be removed safely. Here's hoping for the best :twilightsmile:

Happy birthday and best wishes.

really hope that silver lining comes through, and happy birthday!

Permanent disability may still be better than dead, just for perspective. I hope it doesn't come to that and you end up healthy and well.

С днем рождения и удачи, Ниндзя!
Happy birthday and good luck to You, Ninja!

Well, "potentially operable" is better than "definitely inoperable." Best of luck.

Fuck, so sorry for the bad news. I hope they will be able to shrink it sooner than later.

Happy birthday Ninja. Sending positive vibes your way.

Damn. I'm sorry...happy birthday. Bronze lining is better than no lining.

Happy birthday! I wish you the best.

Ninja. tell us something. please. How are You?

5685619
Something! Finally, I know. Explanations there. :ajsleepy:

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