Dear Princess Sunbutt

by 2Merr

Letter 94

Dear Princess Sunsei,

Today I learned that when someone says they’ll be too busy to attend your thing, they usually mean “fuck that, I don’t want to go, you're dumb, go eat poo.” Using this knowledge, I now realize that you shouldn't ask to see their schedule so you can help them make room for your thing, as this will only lead to more awkwardness. They will either have to tell the truth about how they feel (an impossible feat), or have to endure the thing they didn’t want to attend in the first place. Letting people have their harmless lies, even if the truth is obvious, is often better than confronting them.

I briefly considered having a heartfelt discussion with my friends about how they shouldn’t worry about sparing my feelings—I need to be spoonfeed social cues, anyway—but then I realized something: That would be a reasonable thing to do. I can’t have my position as Equestria’s number one tardnugget compromised like that. Instead, I’m going to incorporate an increasing number of lies into my own interactions because all the cool kids are doing it.

Your little purple lie,
Eggplant

Comments

[TheDino27]

Perfectly reasonable reaction by my standards (which means Oblivion).

[mishun]

It appears Twiggles has learned proper friendship lesson at last

[StardustSurvivor]

Some examples of lies you might experience after this turn of events are; "yes i slept last night instead of reading" "Of course I know what empathy is" and "I only need one of your kidneys, that's all I'll be taking"

[TigerCat111]

9945345

You know she's gonna botch it in the next four letters at most tho

[Hotel_Chicken]

Don't know why, but I can't get the image of Pinkie Pie saying, "The cake is a lie." out of my head.

[ANW]

Dear Anon,
I love the nickname reference.
Very classy.

From HRH
Princess Celestia

[Officer Hotpants]

"Tardnugget" has become a permanent addition to my private lexicon.

9945346
And, of course, "no, I don't have a sprawling laboratory stuffed to bursting with sins against all the gods both holy & foul beneath my home. That's just silly." That one's future classic Twilight.

[Fallen Angel N]

To my most faithful student, Twilight Sparkle,

I am happy to see that you have learned a lesson this day. It is often tempting to tell a lie in order to make things easier for yourself, or in this case, for your friends. I encourage you to get to the point where your friends can comfortably tell you of any conflicting issues or schedules without worry. I have found that an honest and open friendship tends to be a much healthier one. Though I do understand that some ponies need their secrets.

Sometimes being away from friends and giving them space is the healthy thing to do in a friendship, and that can be a difficult lesson to learn. It is good that you care about your friends to try and help them to spend more time together. Perhaps spend more time studying how to read unspoken words from one's body and tone of voice. I will send you a copy of a book I'm certain will help.

I am hoping however that you do not learn the wrong lesson from this experience. Lying for the sake of lying or being cool will usually lead to more issues down the line.

Your loving mentor,
Princess Celestia

[Eroraf86]

9945346
I resemble that remark.

[Fregith]

9945346
It says frightening things that of all the Element Bearers, only the literal super-villain has enough empathy to wield it as an Element.

[No I Will Not]

hehehehe-snort- Tardnugget *continues to giggle*

[vinyldash23]

BaBy YoDa Is MeMe Of tHe DecAde

[Bronzer]

But then, how do we know this letter is true?