Dear Princess Sunny-Side Out,
Today I learned that
the earlier you introduce a child to drugs, the more likely they are to grow up coolkids are as dumb as your ass is fat.I was substituting for Cheerilee this morning so she could attend a seminar on how to be a better judge of character. She gave me a bunch of old safety videos for the little gremlins to watch, which made my job easy wheezy apple queasy. I popped in the drug video and we watched it.
You know how those videos work, right? They show some kids dressed like every punk stereotype combined, the kids offer drugs to a normie kid, the normie bitches out of answering, everyone tells little Billy how drugs won’t make him cool, the punks offer Billy drugs again, Billy says no, everyone cheers while the punks act pouty in the background, group hug, freeze frame, fade out, roll credits. It’s the same formula they’ve been using since before Granny Smith was born. They make the punks look like “cool” kids, then try to show how that kind of coolness is bad. They spell things out so blatantly that even I could understand it.
Problem is, these kids are fucking retarded. Well, some of them are. It was like four, but I didn’t learn any names. Anyway, this group of quasi-purples took everything at face value. They started talking to each other about how they’d finally be cool if they just had some drugs.
As a good person, I knew I had to do something. So I disguised myself and offered them drugs when they were alone. And before you get your titties in a teapot, it wasn't real drugs. It was a carefully crafted, nonlethal poison made to look like drugs. I'm not so irresponsible as to give real drugs to kids.
However, I knew making them sick wouldn't be enough to deter them entirely. I needed to dispel the idea that their peers would give them more respect for taking drugs. To that end, I gathered the rest of the class and instructed them to mock the now-sick kids. The plan worked seamlessly, but it remains to be seen whether or not the desired effect has been achieved. If I discover they still have an interest in drugs, I may need to take a more proactive approach. I hope it doesn't come to that.
Your typical substitute,
Toilet Stain
Genius logic there Ms. Stain
You know, I actually wonder if this would work.
It's mentally scaring, but would it get them to not do drugs?
Wow twiggles, you don't half ass anything, including your fuckups
You know, I actually think those crappy drug PSA videos actually made me not want to take drugs. After so many goddamn boring lectures from Police and their handpuppets about how bad and "uncool" drugs are, I effectively felt bored just at the thought of drugs since my brain linked drugs to boring police officers who could have spent their time doing literally anything else other than talk to a room of kids about how "uncool" drugs were.
All in all, screw the D.A.R.E. program and the producers of Cool Cat and every other mascot that said drugs are bad. I get it, they're bad and I shouldn't do them! Just shut up before you kill me by boring me to death.
That's... not the worst idea she's had, honestly. In fact it's almost passable.
This is my favorite to date.
9998549
I despised D.A.R.E. It didn't teach you shit about the dangers of drugs. It just taught you their dumbass, borderline cultish chants that they'd make you march around chanting for 20 minutes (which is even less fun than it sounds as a 10 year old in the Southeastern heat) and threatened you with being secretly uncool.
You want to scare kids off of drugs effectively? Show them what a meth addict looks like after a year and tell them the kinds of things they're willing to do to get more.
Compared to other plans Twilight has had this is actually rather well thought out and executed well, I just hope it works out well.
At least her plan this time didn't involve that cloning spell or necromancy.
9998559
The example that's stuck with me was watching a guy get hired on, be a perfect worker, constantly ask if there was anything else he could do, accumulate 10k in his bank account, withdraw half of it, and disappear into the aether.
If I ever do a horror movie, it'll have junkie vampires.
I'm familiar with something like this, used to happen back in ancient India as a part of raising royal heirs. The idea was that unrestrained vice ruins a man for responsible governance, so steps were taken to ensure that their first experience with a given indulgence would be as unpleasant as possible.
For instance, the "opium" the teen might get from a friend could be adulterated to provoke extreme nausea and violent hallucinations. Afterwards, he'll be far less intrested in such things, yes? Manipulative, true, but quite effective.
I could almost think this was Anon having this whole adventure... I could see him doing this as much as Twigs.
9998642
I did think it was Anon at first. I think because the snark levels were so much lower than normal.
9998599
Show me an anti-drug program that involves necromancy and I'll show you a sub-optimal situation.
9998549
Never understood the appeal of Drugs myself I have hard enough time getting my brain to work right under normal conditions
9998599
In the words of Pinkie Pie, "Give her time..."
The problem with anti-drug ads is that all the people that make them have to be goodie two-shoes who never interacted with addicts or something. All you really have to do is find a particularly bad weed burnout, the kind that have trouble remembering their own name and can't hold a conversation thread, and have them ramble on camera for about 5 min. Close with 60s of somebody going through heroin withdrawal, and you'll scare anybody who can be scared.
Is stupid a disease or are they just born with it.
9998786
It depends, do you consider purpleness transmissible?
9998809
Purple coat-dye is acquirable
9998532
that's why it'd work. Mental scarring never heals- atleast, not for cheap.
9998841
"If you weren't born purple, store bought is fine."
9998757 But that would be effective and a good use of money
Personally I find it hilarious that the city cop shop had to get Suburban type vehicles and tint the absolute frikkin' crap out of the windows so you couldn't see all those square packages in the backseat floor board of the D.A.R.E. Car like you could when they used the standard issue whatever it was. Open secret to anyone in this area that is willing to look around and think for themselves that the cop shop overwatch is one of the distribution routes for this part of the US. Open secret and there are STILL people that will trust that the cop are here to help and keep you safe and have absolutely NOTHING to do with all the drug houses in town, yeah sure
9998530
Looks like somepony found the purple hair dye
9998809
Now I do.
9998841
9998854
See above because this is your fault.
For all: God they are so stupid. How have they not died by eating rubber cement or Everfree wildlife.
Also Cheerilee is going to be pissed and horrified that Twi gave her students unfun pills.
They screwed up when they started referring to it as “drugs” instead of “dope.” Dope for dopes. You’re always going to have some personalities that take dope. They’re the ones open to experimentation and risk taking. They need to be identified early and worked with proactively to channel that tendency towards something exciting and positive. Mind altering behavior is innate. Elephants get drunk on fermented fruit as do primates and birds. They actively seek it out. Young brains do not have a fully developed frontal cortex and thus are bad at decision making and the concept of danger. It’s why 18 year old’s is the prime draft age. The prefrontal cortex isn’t fully developed until age 23-26.
Bad experiences stick with you a long time. So this might work, but coughing your lungs out the first time you smoke or having a terrible hangover doesn’t seem to stop people, so I don’t know if this would do it. But SCIENCE!
She gave.... Laxatives... to children....
And then she just...
gifimage.net/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/oh-dear-gif-8.gif
9998532
It'd probably be more effective than confusing kids into thinking that their brain on drugs is part of breakfast.
9998724
I could totally see her lighting up a joint in front of the class, then making herself explode all over the room and having her cloned self appear outside, then she disposes of the joint in the bushes or something, then comes in through the front door and says "Any questions?"
9998757
At the I high school I have never seen these boring drug prevention videos, but we did watch a real video about one kid suffering from withdraw and being tended by his mother. (later the kid died from overdose, his death was narrated only)
I think that worked quite well.
While technically what Twilight have done seems quite unethical. But ponies in MLP seem to be very naive, those few kids were probably in serious danger from misinterpreting the silly video. She may have actually saved them, or at very least made them realize some of the dangers. They would not have listened to any "lame" adults after they have decided that drugs are cool.
...anymore.
Why, Twiggles, why? Just give 'em REAL drugs and let them get sicker than hell.
Walter White would be proud.
That actually sounds like a good plan and method. Public humiliation is highly effective on most people.
9999239
Somehow that made my sleep deprived misconjuration of her name less awesome than I thought...
I read her name as Toilet Satan.
10180886
I mean Celestia did say she needed to bring back public shaming.
10224650
That's damn good band name