Dear Princess Permaboomer,
Today I learned that you shouldn’t blindly trust old people when it comes to new technology. I already knew this, but I wanted an excuse to tell you about the bullshit I just had to deal with.
The iFarm household got a new oven because Applebee’s touched the old one and it exploded. The new one has a built-in timer with a buzzer for when the timer hits zero. Granny Smithsonian and her centuries of wisdom said the buzzing meant something was wrong. No matter who talked to her, she was convinced she was right because she had worked with ovens longer than most of us have been alive.
The worst part is Applehat sided with her because “Granny’s older, so she’s more experienced.” Now I’m pretty stupid, but even I’m not that stupid. She “fixed” it with a hammer until the noise stopped.* The rest of it also stopped, so they’re buying another new oven.
Applehat admitted she should have listened to her friends, but we all know she’ll still believe the moon is made of cheese if Granny says so.
Your pro-eugenics advocate,
Twist and Shout* You should have been there. AJ held the hammer in her mouth, so whenever she missed, she smashed her face against the oven. She missed a lot. It was some of the funniest shit I’d ever seen.
Love, Anon
Celestia’s reply
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I’m dead lmao
Was the oven still hot while being "fixed"?
Hehehe
This was great, now we need this chapter’s compliment in Princess Permaboomer’s reply!
I’m done.
i.imgur.com/LIfq5NV.png
That PS
I really want people to call Princess Celestia PermaBoomer now.
How do you miss an oven‽
Granny Smithsonian. Holy crap, It's genius. Also, How DO you miss an oven?
He's right. I'm imagining it now and I'm laughing my ass off.
I kept imagining this for a couple minutes and I laughed so hard my sides hurt and inhaled my snot from all the snorting (because breathing is not a myth).
I'm quite tempted to make a short story based soley on this letter, but I doubt my capacity as a lazy fanfic author to really nail the funny bone. Then again, would be a nice excercise to use this as a prompt for practice.
For the love of Faust why can’t we upvote individual chapters?!!
This and the responses written by Soul is just the very freaking best thing I've ever seen here
this is the perfect example of a minimalist approach to humour that lets the readers' imagination do the the work.