Dear Princess Permaboomer,
Today I learned that you shouldn’t blindly trust old people when it comes to new technology. I already knew this, but I wanted an excuse to tell you about the bullshit I just had to deal with.
The iFarm household got a new oven because Applebee’s touched the old one and it exploded. The new one has a built-in timer with a buzzer for when the timer hits zero. Granny Smithsonian and her centuries of wisdom said the buzzing meant something was wrong. No matter who talked to her, she was convinced she was right because she had worked with ovens longer than most of us have been alive.
The worst part is Applehat sided with her because “Granny’s older, so she’s more experienced.” Now I’m pretty stupid, but even I’m not that stupid. She “fixed” it with a hammer until the noise stopped.* The rest of it also stopped, so they’re buying another new oven.
Applehat admitted she should have listened to her friends, but we all know she’ll still believe the moon is made of cheese if Granny says so.
Your pro-eugenics advocate,
Twist and Shout* You should have been there. AJ held the hammer in her mouth, so whenever she missed, she smashed her face against the oven. She missed a lot. It was some of the funniest shit I’d ever seen.
Love, Anon