Dearest Celestia,
After an extended conversation with your
thugsprofessional thievesdumb idiotsAccounting department, I have been miraculously cured of my condition. I can now pay my horse taxes unhindered. However, since I’m low on funds at the moment, Twilight will be footing the bill until I can pay her back.Love, Anon
P.S. - I’ve shut down my business, Anon’s Weird Plants, Erotic Novels, & Ink Sketches Emporium, so I will be receiving no future income. Your horse tax collectors can’t steal my money if I don’t have any. Checkmate.
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At that moment the Accounting department gets into a thinking loop while melting alive with their demonic screams, because Anon shattered their reality of taxation and thinking
"He must pay taxes!"
"But he doesn't have an income!"
"Then ͎̕taḳ̑e͔̓ ̮̅% f̩̿rom͔͆ ͔̅h͙͗ī͔s s̡̈́ạ̄vi̜͐n̨͑gs!"
"He̟͛ i͖̽s ̨͝b͉̓an̘̄k̟̊ru̮͘p̉͜t̘̐!"
"Wh̻̑a̛͜t ̭̂?̦̐̂͟ ̣̇N̮̾ỏ̙ ̩̋!̤̬̆̒"
"I'̢͍̀̌m̜̖̐͞ ͙̀͝ͅm̜̓e̜̾l̡̩͋͡t̰̰͊̕i̼͉̎̒ǹ̩g͚͉̑̐!̠̗̂͛"
"N͕̔ŏ̝̲̲̓͝! ̡̳͔̄̉͡I̱̤̓̚ ̧̡͖̔͌͊do̤͍̓͊ň̼'̲̙̈́͞t̤̮́́ ̳͒̋͜w͙̠͒͘a̞͈̜̾͂̓n͕͒t̰̤̼̀̆͂ ̹͍͋͝to̯̓ ͢͡ǵ̣̓͟ö̲̬͖̕͞ ̫̗͒̐b̩̯̺̈̓̌a̭̍̚͢͜͡c̡͕̃̆k̫͈̫̔̀̋ t̖͕̉͊ö͖ ̪̲̻̑̆̓h͔̽e̞̋lļ̞̎͊!̜̱̎̿"
"Ç̢̛͔͕̱͚̼̣͑̔̋͂͛̄̓Ứ̢̡̨̡͕̗͚͈̤͉͍̯͕̞̳͕̤̰͙̖̥͍̜̤͕̲̲̐͑͐̈́̀̌̓̋̇̃̉̿̽̔̉̓̀̌͑̾̊̐͆̅̑͆̚͘͢͜ͅR̢̡̛̛̛̟̹͍̗̮̩̠̼̦͕̣̞̮̟̓̀͛̆̽̓̍̄̑͋̐̋̿̔͢S̢̨̢̧̧̧̡̧̛̛̛̛͉̤̦̗͎̤̳̲̝̘̱͇͓͉̯̝̩͖͕͓̝̥̦̹͕̠̺̥̯̜̜̦͉͕̺̤̗͍̣̗̫͎̭̦̗̮̘͍̗̰̮͚̙̼̗͌̓̀̓̓̋̂̎̓̒̉̈́̅͂̈̔̄̅̂͂̉̋͂̋̋͐̃́̂̊̃̃̊̾̏̑̈͛̄́̈̓͑̉̒͂̃̔̍̊̕̚͘̚̚͘͘͘͟͜͝͝͠Ę̨̢̧̛̛̞̝̖̹͉̬̹̳̺̺͕͖̹̩͇̼̦̜̝̣̩̦̯̙̹̦̪̪͙̱͉̼̻͒͊̀͑̋͂͌͆̿̆͗̈́̒̀̾̌̇͆̓͗̆̀͋̉̏͒̿͊̔͊̐̏̂̈͑͂́̏͘͟͢͟ͅ ̧̢̡̡̛̰̳̹̝̩͍͚̺͎̘̹̝̘̫͍̠͍̮̜͍͕̻̪͔̥̼̬̼̻̜͕̲̠͕͇͚̌̒͛̇̓͆͛̐̅͊̎̐̆͂́̃̄̎̊͂̓̽̏̈́̐͂̄̓̓́̏̒̃͗͘͢͝͞͡͡͠͞ͅỲ̧̡̡̡̢̛̛̮̬͇͎̬̝͍͎̯̭͙̰̭̬̱̬̙̣͓̲̗̫͍͓̠͔̤̻͇̪̭͎̪̬̲̪̺̪͈͇̪̗̪̞̙̲͍̥̦̭̮̞͕̫̻̫̰̋̎̏́̊̊̀̔̋̒͗̅̉͐̅̎̇̓͐̀͒̏̾͆͆̍͂̒̎͒̆̅̎̇̒̅̆̐͐͗̊̄̅̍̄̽̀̍̀̆͆̅̊̀̿͘̚͘̚͘͢͟͜͜͢͜͝͞͞͡͝͞ͅO̢̼̤͔̻̞͕̪͚͉͇̝̝̼̘̟̗̥͓̮͍̱̙͇̘̱̗̹̠͒͗͛̓̏̿̈́͂͛̒̏͛̿̈̓͑̓̒̾̄́̑̽͑͊̄͘͘͜͞Ự̡̨̢͔̝̳͕̠̼̱̝̲̳̼̺̲̠̰̪̪̼̺̮̜̼̝̲̣̦̈́̀͗̒͊̆̃͒̎̂̆̿̽̋͂̐̈́̈͂̓̌̇̅̾̆̿͛̋̽̕̕͜͟͢͝ ̨̡̡̨̧̡̡̨̹̩͍͓͍̫̱͎̟̥̲̹̗̗͕̱̣̞̦̼͕̼̝̰̻͚͇̳̺̦̰͓̙͍̖͙̦̺͖͉̫͔͉͕̺̙̤̺̱̗̼̺̱̦̞̊̈̄̊̉̎̑̇̌̂͆̎̇́́͆̑̎̐͌͌́͛̽͛͗̀̂̀̓̋̀̉́̑͂̒͑̈́̎̏̿̊̅̊̾̈̾̋͛͛͊͌͗̎̇́͂̀̕͘̕̕̚͘̕̚͢͢͜͢͡͡ͅͅA̢̡̨̧̛̛̛̛̘͉̪͎̠̮̖̱̥̮̗͇͉̖͕͍̫̜̱̮̗̜̻̭̬̼̯̺̙̗̮̪̖͈͕͕̠̪͍͂̔̀̌͗͛̔͂͗̓̀́͗̂͌̏̓͛̀̓̐̐̽̏͛͆̈́͑̒̔̉̔͂̓̅̿̔̌͘̚͢͢͢͝͠Ń̡̧̡̡̛̛͖̹̞̘͍͍͙̜̜̩̦͚̜̮͉͇̪͙͈̫̜̺̼͉̙͎͍̹͖͓̘̫͈͇̦̫̲̖͔̯̥̰͚̙̹̟̩̭̱͚͒̑͊̇̌̋́́̄̽̀͗͗̓̄́͂̎͂̒́̋̐͑͊̒̂̆̾̾̏̌͊̑͊͛̏̀͋͋̓̏͌̀͗͛͒̾͘͘͘͘͟͢͜͢͝͞͝͠ͅƠ̧̢̧̛̛͎̟̞̟̞͎̦̰̝͍̜̫̞̝͙̣̙̭͇̪̺̼̼̠̗̞̬̮̖͇͍̓̐̂̂̍͊̈̅͒̏͊͊̌̉͛͒̔͛̑̿̌̑̽̓͛̔͋͘͝͞͠͞ͅŅ̢̡̛̭̱͓̦̲̪̤͕̙̗͓͕̗͖̩̩̞̺̮̹̺̻̻̫͔̪̩̳̜̮̼̼͉̭̠̦͔̉͌̑̄͗͂͗̃̌͛̐̾̓̄̈́̓́͆͌̿́̐̈͑̽̈̎̉͌̋̀͛̂̋͋̇̎͘̚͜͜͜͟͡͡͞!̧̨̢̡̧̨̛͙̰̦̫͙̬̰̖̱̤͓̮̯̝͔̬̼̖̤̲̘̭̟̗̦͙͇̼̳́͑̎̿̓͐̉͐̀̔̈̓̑͛͗̓̽̀́̅̍̋̇̈́̿́̓̔̍̇̆̚̚͘͜͢͡͡"
Then the generous Equestrian Government will now give you money because you have none! Amazing how that works. It’s a good thing too! Otherwise you’d never be able to pay Sprinkles back.
Guessing he's never been on unemployment or known anyone that has. They still tax you....
9931752
Funny thing...
If you have zero income (not drawing unemployment benifits) you still get a the standard income deduction, which, when applied to an income if zero means you get a tax refund even if you never paid a dime.
Yea, it's not enough to live on, but it's still a lot of money. And for someone freeloading like Anon...
See, I read this and my impression is Anon was writhing around freaking out until Twilight got tired of it and paid for him and now he's running from ever dealing with them again. So, this letter is him trying to save face while hoping Spike and Twilight don't tell people how things really went down.
9931743
If they're like the IRS and potentially demons from hell, then him being broke for the rest of his life is more likely a mission accomplished moment for them.
Proffesional dumb idiots
On no. Now ponies can't get their weird plants, erotic novels, and ink sketches in one place. How will ponies survive? Speaking of survival, how will Anon survive without an income?
...
does that say Anon's Weird PENIS Emporium
9936470
Why do these letters feel more and more like Dan Mandel wrote them?
9931743
...
...
WHAT THE FF
9932069
What do you mean? He's surrounded by food.
10136927
This is by far the worse chapters yet