Dear Princess Sunbutt

by 2Merr

Letter 40

Hi again, Princess Celestia!

I tried sending you cookies earlier, but I guess the candle only works on paper. I can't send them through the normal mail because then they won’t be warm and gooey when you get them. I’ll figure it out, don’t worry!

Twilight and Nonny are watching a bunch of old documentaries while they regrow their bones, so the girls and I are taking turns helping Spike keep them comfy. He said it should only take a couple days this time, since Twilight is so good at the spell now.

Anyway, you and Princess Luna are doing great! Keep it up!

Lots of love,
Pinkie Pie

Comments

[Venerable Ro]

I think Celestia needs to give Anon some kind of emergency suppressor for Twilight, a last-ditch option if you will.

derpicdn.net/img/2019/7/16/2093527/large.jpeg

[Sigmacipher]

9870738
Ya think?

[PinkiePieFox]

Dear sweet Celestias but cheeks.... What did they do?!

[TheDino27]

9870738
That fanart is bloody great , where do you get all those ?! You should probably put the source or at least the author with it , just saying.

[Tjtbomb]

9870738
Just tell her to divide by zero. Should do the trick

[FrostTheWolf]

Bloody hell, what happened that lead to them both being in Pinkie Pie's care!? Did they try to hard in unlocking the secrets of the horse or something?

Celestia would definitely have a lot questions for them.

[FanOfMostEverything]

Twilight regrowing bones probably answers more questions than Celestia wants to admit.

[A.P.O.N.I.]

Oh. Oh dear.

[PonyDragon]

9870771
As long as Derpibooru is used the following trick works:

1. Extract the (numerical) ID of the picture from the URL (here: derpicdn.net/img/2019/7/16/2093527/large.jpeg)
2. Create a link like this: derpibooru.org/2093527
3. Finished!

[Phoenix999]

This has me very concerned.

[Pseudonymous]

It also works on snowballs!

[Moonlight_Mist]

9870777
No, Celestia already tried that once. It's since become a capital offense to ask Twilight to divide by 0, because she has the answer and it's supposed to be a secret known only to the old gods, and they don't take kindly to what they see as cockroaches raiding their library. The first and only time she did it, again at Celestia's request (it was meant to be a delay tactic to keep her busy while the castle staff finished preparing the castle ballroom for her 11th birthday party), she solved it correctly in less than a minute and one of the old gods, a horrifying monstrosity with a name unpronounceable to beings with fixed mouth shapes came through a portal wreathed in flame.

He hates it when people mispronounce its name, and killed nearly a hundred ponies as well as the visiting griffon ambassador before a changeling disguised as a castle maid calmed it down by pronouncing its name correctly. Needless to say, Elytra is now a known changeling and an honored Equestrian citizen. But yeah, you don't ask Twilight to divide by 0. In fact, if you ask her to, two things happen. First, she goes into a meltdown as memories of dear teacher taking the punishment set by Griffonstone for her. It was corporal punishment, a hundred lashes with a thorned switch. Second, Twilight has a tiny crystal embedded in her left ear, enchanted with a spell that sends a signal straight to Celestia whenever it picks up the words 'divide by zero' in that sequence, since if Twilight can hear it, she's going to react.

[Venerable Ro]

9870771
Well if you were wondering the artist is Anontheanon, but a large majority of his work is decidedly NSFW. Wouldn't feel right linking such into a "T" rated fic.

[SCP Pinkamena]

...derpicdn.net/img/2019/1/18/1938231/large.png

[psodude]

9871424
That is oddly specific, I love it.

[Moonlight_Mist]

9871973
What started in my head as 'Celestia tried that before. Many ponies were hurt, many more traumatized' turned into that. Don't ask me how, all I can say is my brain works fast when it gets on a roll expanding ideas.

Also, to clarify just in case, the mentioned corporal punishment, the lashing, was meant for Twilight but Celestia took it in her place since Twilight was only responding to a request/challenge set forth by her.

Again, it was supposed to be just a little blurb/joke, yet turned into its own little story that slowly lost its comedic side and became a serious, if random, cautionary tale.

[Frankie2]

Regrow... their bones???
Celestia should be asking Twilight what did she do?

[Wireball]

He said it should only take a couple days this time, since Twilight is so good at the spell now.

THIS time?

[Officer Hotpants]

Never should have told Twilight about Harry Potter...

[Bronzer]

9919386
That was my first thought, too. It’s become such an infamous moment of stupidity.

[Coretz]

9871424
Dividing by zero results in the antiplicity of both positive and negative infinities, and also sometimes zero again. In other words, ( x / 0 ) = +∞ & -∞, 0, and extremely rarely, 1.

I mean the fun was already killed, I just wanted to make sure it got buried ;)

[KvAT]

This is an entire arc and a half right here

[creativeusername34]

twilight sparkle wants to get off mr bone's wild ride