Dear Princess Sunbutt

by 2Merr

Letter 27

Dear Princess Sylvestia Stallone,

Today I learned that fat people are people x two, and that they have feelings.

When picking teams for dodgeball, the strategic benefit of picking the largest and least agile person last is heavily outweighed by the social stigma garnered by that person crying and blaming you for making them eat because they always get picked last. I will consider my options more carefully in the future to determine if the person I'm ostracizing is likely to lash out afterwards.

Despite this, I will still be picking Rainblue first every single time. She's easily worth five Pronkies, two Yeehaws, and a paid-off referee.

Your ball magnet,
Tribbles

Comments

[PaintedPony]

Ball magnet!
I think Pronkies is way under valued here, just sayin’

[lainverse]

9860929
it's not that Pronkie can't dodge a ball, she just can't help herself and avoid catching it. Because, seriously, it's a ball! CATCH!

[Amethyst_Dawn]

The oozing commentary by anon is on point

[ToobertSawk]

There's no response to 26.2

[vinyldash23]

Who is the fat one here? Princess Cellophane now has SERIOUS competition for my favorite name.

[Officer Hotpants]

I see that "x".

It's true, though.

[Bronzer]

Blaming anyone else for yourself being fat (excluding those with genetic reasons like my Uncle’s thyroid problem).