Dear Princess C. Hansen,
Today I learned that Sweetus Diabeetus is the quintessential loli. I still don’t quite understand what that word means, but according to Equestria’s foremost loliconnoisseur, Anon, she checks every box available. As such, she should not be lewded and requires daily headpats which Anon has so graciously volunteered to give. In addition, any and all food items she prepares must be consumed, regardless of taste or toxicity. My stockpile of antidotes will come in handy.
Anon says her only imperfection is the lack of a bow, but that can be swiftly remedied with the help of the Build-a-Rare Workshop.
Your mare of culture,
Stork Sporkle