Chapter 5: Language
One of the first things I mentioned in this Guide was how the English and Equuish languages, both written and spoken, line up almost perfectly. I thought it might be interesting to dive into that a bit.
Section 1: Language Barriers
This section is more food for thought than advice.
As previously stated, the world of Equus speaks and writes almost exclusively in Equuish. This can be a good or extremely bad thing depending on the person. If said person doesn't know any English, they're kinda screwed. Besides the fact that communication with anyone on this planet would be practically nonexistent, it also occurs to me that this guide would be completely useless to them. The only thing they'd be able to do at that point is commit to learning the language or have extremely rudimentary conversations with the worlds inhabitants via drawings or through similar methods. Even if they did decide to learn the language, the going would be rough until they had a fair grasp on it.
Conversely, if they can already speak or read English the language barrier wouldn't be a problem, and the fact that there's only one barrier means that it could be abused quite easily. Jay and I do this quite frequently. We took some German classes back in high school because it was required to graduate. Jay hated it, but it didn't bother me. In fact, I was pretty good at it, if I do say so myself. I'd write a copy of the Guide in German, but I'm not as practiced in writing it as I am speaking it. Anyways, I'm getting off topic.
In the section about nobles in the last chapter, I mentioned my penchant for insults, but that isn't my only way of dealing with unwanted conversation. If I don't want to talk to someone, and don't feel like coming up with creative insults, I'll just respond to everything they say in German. They'll get confused and will eventually leave me alone. It also helps to have private conversations between Jay and I. If you happen to be bilingual, I recommend using it to your advantage. The language barrier can be your friend here.
Speaking of insults, that leads me into my next topic.
Section 2: Pony Curses and Derogatory Terms
After going back and rereading what I wrote in Chapter 2 about earth ponies, I got curious about about what words ponies may find offensive coming from the mouth of another pony in everyday conversation. I don't get many chances to talk to normal ponies outside the castle because I don't have any reason to leave the castle grounds. Going around asking total strangers what offends them sounds great and all, but I'd rather keep my ribs where they are, thank you very much. That's why I sent Jay out to ask total strangers what offends them. He doesn't seem to have the same misgivings about misplaced ribs as I do. When I told him why I wanted him to go out, he laughed and agreed immediately.
He came back surprisingly unharmed and had a list of terms and their definitions. He even took initiative and asked around the castle before coming back to me with his findings. I will be transcribing these in a way more easily understood by the uninformed.
Hay- Hay seems to be the pony equivalent to "hell" in human society. "What the hay" is a fairly common phrase used when surprised or confused, just like "what the hell". Strangely enough, their version of Hell itself is a place called Tartarus, which is actually a huge super-max prison that holds the worst criminals in history.
Feather- Feather is a versatile pony swear, that has a range of severity depending on the context it's used in. For example, it can be used as a parallel to the word "fuck" when used in the sentence "I don't give a flying feather". It can also be used to insult the intelligence of another person. Once again, the severity of the insult depends on the context. Calling someone a "feather head" or a "feather brain" can equate to calling them "stupid" or even "shit for brains". While primarily used to insult pegasi, due to their feathered wings, anyone can use it or have it be used on them and understand what the insult is. "Horn head" can be used as an equivalent for unicorns.
Buck- Interchangeable with "Fuck".
Horse- This is essentially calling someone a whore. Strangely enough, the Equuish spelling of the word is different form English. Here it's spelled "whorse". It occurs to me that Jay and I often refer to ponies as horses, due to their resemblance to the animal from Earth. I'll have to make sure to not use that term in public from now on.
Horse apples- This equates to saying "shit". It can also be used to call "bullshit". As a side note, using bullshit as a curse here will get you some strange looks, as cows on Equus are sentient. The same can be said about "ass" and "jackass" because donkeys can talk too.
Dirt Pony- As I stated in Chapter 2, this is a derogatory term often used by unicorn nobles as a way to degrade earth ponies. This one seems to have a few layers to it, referring to the earth ponies being the agricultural base of Equestria and often working dirty jobs. Earth ponies are the least prominent Big Three tribe in noble society, so it's also making fun of them for being poor, not to mention the implication that nobles think earth ponies are dumber than the dirt they work with. There's a lot to calling someone a dirt pony, and I personally wouldn't recommend it unless you feel like getting throttled in a dark alley. Earth ponies are extremely proud of their place in society, and calling one a dirt pony is basically insulting their identity as a subrace. In all honesty though, this seems like a bigger problem than it actually is. It's very rare that anyone get called a dirt pony, as only the the most hateful of ponies would do such a thing, and the fact that it's so frowned upon in pony society means that the term is usually only whispered in a dark room where no prying ears will hear it.
Celestia- As it turns out, Celestia's name can be used as a curse here! It's used in the same context as God in English, which kind of shows the mindset ponies have surrounding the alicorn. I've actually heard this one plenty of times in the castle. I asked Celestia how it came about and what she thought about it. She told me that it started not long after Luna's banishment to the moon (more on that later). It bothered her at first, but it happened started to happen so frequently around her that she had no power to actually stop it. Eventually she just accepted it and moved on. I asked if she ever used her own name as a curse, and she said that she was never comfortable with it, but due to the common use of her name as a swear, she compromised and started saying "oh my me", "dear me", "mother of me", and other variations. Luna's name seems to be used in a similar way, primarily by thesrals, but not nearly to the same extent that Celestia's is used.
I can't help but notice that most pony swears sound very mom sanctioned. It's like kids saying "freak" instead of "frick", or "frick" instead of "fuck" in order to avoid punishment from their parents. I'll have to remember some of these the next time someone starts pissing me off. Pony swears certainly put a new spin of the phrase "hay is for horses".