16/16/16/16: Repinkussions
On the morning after the party, Bon Bon awoke in her bed with her curlers still in her mane, golden sunlight streaming through the window onto her bed. For a good five minutes, she simply lay there, trying and failing to make sense of what had happened the day before.
Did I dream it all? she wondered, and then immediately dismissed the idea. None of her dreams had ever been quite that long before. So it really happened. Pinkie actually threw a Welcome-to-Ponyville party for Lapis, she really decorated a hot air balloon to look like his head, and she really managed to jam half of Ponyville inside the Corner Cafe.
…Am I sure that all happened?
Bon Bon clambered out of bed, walked over to the bathroom, and spent a few slow, painstaking minutes extricating all the curlers from her mane. Then, she made her way into the storefront of her building, glancing for a moment at the stack of dirty pots and pans next to her sink, which hadn’t been there the night before.
Walking into the storefront and catching a whiff of cooked eggs and mushrooms provided Bon Bon with some explanation for the newly-dirty cookware. The eggs were sitting on the counter, the steam curling off them glimmering gold in the sunlight that poured through the store windows. Lyra was standing by the window, her lips moving soundlessly as she stared through the glass, casting a long shadow across the slightly-dusty wooden floor. Lyra looked in need of a brushing - her mane and tail had enough protruding loose strands to make Bon Bon think of a porcupine - but she definitely had the bright-eyed to go with her bushy-tailed, her gaze rapidly flickering across the street outside.
“Morning, Ly-Ly,” Bon Bon said, looking down at the plates. “…Did you make breakfast?”
“Morning, BB. I sure did!” Lyra chirped, grinning with pride as she turned from the window, starting toward the counter. “Nothing really fancy, y’know, just scrambled eggs with some sautéed veggies, but you weren’t awake yet, and I thought it might be nice!”
Bon Bon grinned, then sat down. “It looks wonderful, Lyra. Thanks.”
“Don’t mention it,” Lyra responded, and they both sat down.
And then, to Bon Bon’s surprise, neither of them started eating. It didn’t have anything to do with the eggs - they really did look delicious, and Bon Bon’s mouth was watering at the prospect of tucking in, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. Instead, she and Lyra kept shooting sideways glances at each other, and somehow, Bon Bon couldn’t help feeling as if she were waiting for-
“So, are we going to talk about yesterday,” Lyra blurted out, “or…”
“Yes,” Bon Bon said, with a sigh of relief. “Yes, we’re going to talk about yesterday. Yesterday was bucking surreal - no, you know what, yesterday was bucked, Lyra. What the hay even was yesterday?!”
“I don’t know!” Lyra said, nearly knocking her eggs off the counter as she threw her hooves wide. “I’d figured Pinkie was going to go a little overboard, but that was insane!”
“‘Insane’ doesn’t begin to cover it,” Bon Bon said, putting her own hoof down on the counter. “Frankly, if Lapis decided to pursue a reining order, I’d help him. …If I thought it would stop Pinkie, anyway, which I don’t.”
“Okay, let’s talk about Pinkie for a second,” Lyra said, putting a hoof to her forehead. “Seriously, I get that Lapis was able to put her off for two months, but that whole brunch thing was closer to a festival than a party. Are we sure that it wasn’t, like, some kind of twisted retaliation?”
“Yes, we’re sure,” Bon Bon sighed. “Pinkie’s always had a few screws loose, and Lapis… well, I guess he just managed to loosen those screws a little more.”
“Okay,” Lyra said, a worried frown creasing her brow, “but that’s worse. You do get how that’s worse, right? What if this is Pinkie’s new normal?”
“I don’t think it is,” Bon Bon huffed, “because I’m pretty sure it’s always been her ‘normal.’ Nopony’s ever gotten away from her for two months before, so we’ve never gotten the chance to see it, but this is the same Pinkie we’ve always known about.”
“So what’re we supposed to do?” Lyra asked, raising her hooves. “There’s no way I’m going to just sit here and pretend there’s nothing wrong with how she treated Lapis. That’s horseapples, Bon Bon! This whole mess is horseapples!”
“Yes, it is!” Bon Bon snapped, as something within her finally broke. “If that party had happened to me, I would’ve told Pinkie to take her hot air balloon and shove it up her plot, and you would too, right?”
“Uh, yeah!” Lyra replied. “…So, wait. Why didn’t we?”
“We were waiting for the pony who should’ve had a Cascade over this whole mess,” Bon Bon said, putting her hoof down. “So why didn’t he? Something is seriously wrong with that unicorn, Lyra. There’s nopony - hay, no-one in Equestria, who would take that party sitting down and act like everything was just business as usual. There just isn’t. So why did Lapis?”
“I don’t know!” Lyra sighed, resting her elbows on the counter as her ears flopped back. “And I know we should probably ask him, but… well, you know he’s not going to tell us, right? I mean, you saw how hard he clammed up about Applejack.”
“Oh, he’s going to bucking tell us,” Bon Bon muttered. “I don’t know how to make him do it yet, but Lapis needs to open up. Whatever the hay is going on, he’s running himself ragged over it, and if he keeps trying to solve his magical accident without getting actual, professional help… well, sooner or later, he’s going to put himself in real danger.”
Lyra swallowed, her ears tucking back, then she nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, we’ve got to do something. I can’t imagine what Lapis is feeling that’s got him putting his muzzle to the grindstone for so long, but it’s got to be bad, he’s shown that much. I…”
Lyra paused, her ears perking up. “Huh. Wait a second.”
“What?” Bon Bon asked, as Lyra’s gaze began to flicker across the counter. “You crack the mystery or something?”
“No,” Lyra said slowly, “but I think I’ve figured out what we’re doing wrong.” She levitated her fork off the counter, then gestured to Bon Bon’s eggs. “You might want to tuck into those before they get cold. We’ve got a long day ahead of us.”
Bon Bon took a slow, deep breath. “Lyra. I have had it up to here with ponies being cryptic to me. For the love of Celestia, what do you know?”
Lyra winced. “Well, I don’t know anything. But, I do have an idea - it’s super counter-intuitive, though, so I just want to make sure you’re at a hundred percent before I try explaining. I promise, I’ll lead you through the whole thing, start-to-finish, just… please eat first?”
Bon Bon glanced at her eggs, then sighed. They do look delicious. “Oh, alright.”
Lyra smiled apologetically as Bon Bon stuffed the first forkful into her face. “Thanks. Love you, BB.”
“Luff yu too, Ly-Ly,” Bon Bon muttered, before swallowing her mouthful of eggs. “But wherever we’re going, we’re stopping by Mayor Mare’s office first. If Lapis isn’t going to pursue legal action, then I sure as Tartarus will.”
Meanwhile, a neon-yellow pegasus stallion was standing outside the Red Repair Shop, holding a large cardboard box of nuts and bolts in assorted sizes and quietly rethinking the decisions that had led him to knock on Lapis Print’s front door. His breath was fogging in the early-autumn air, and the yellow of his coat was shining almost painfully bright in the morning sun.
He reached out to knock again, but to his surprise, it swung open before he could touch it. Hard Hat felt his eyes grow a little wider as Lapis Print stepped around the door - the repair-pony looked terrible, like he’d been up all night. There were bags under his bloodshot eyes, several strands of his mane and tail were loose, and his mane was in dire need of a trim. “Hey, what’s up?”
“Uh, you’re Mr. Print, are you?” the pegasus said, doing his best to shake off his surprise. “My name’s Hard Hat, and I’m here on behalf of the Lift Together Construction Crew. Me and a few of my crewmates were some of the ponies who, uh… well, chased you through town yesterday.”
Lapis raised an eyebrow, looking Hard Hat up and down. “Yep, you sure were. You were the whistler, right?”
“Oh. Yeah, that was me,” Hard Hat said, smiling and scratching the back of his neck with a hoof. “Yeah, Miss Pie made a habit of bringing us some refreshments on the hotter summer days, so when she stopped by to ask us a few favors, we didn’t really think about ‘em too hard.”
Lapis opened his mouth as if to respond, but instead, he heaved a quick sigh before speaking, his ears twitching briefly backward atop his head. “Well, I was wondering how she’d managed to recruit so many ponies into yesterday’s fiasco. Guess that answers that question.”
Hard Hat hesitantly nodded. “Yeah, she helps out around town a lot. But that doesn’t excuse what she did to you yesterday, and I guess that brings us to why I’m over here.”
Lapis cocked an eyebrow, and Hard Hat went on. “Me and the crew were thinking, and, well, we feel real bad for giving you so much of a fright as we did. We didn’t mean to chase you. Soon as everypony else started galloping, though, we didn’t know what else to do. So, uh…”
Hard Hat lifted the box of bolts off his back, then set them on the ground in front of himself. “We know you’re a repair-pony, and we figured you run through supplies pretty fast. So, well, here’s some of ours, by way of an apology. Hope it’s enough, at least for awhile.”
Lapis lifted the box off the porch, opened the lid, and looked inside - and, to Hard Hat’s relief, a smile came over his face. “Not gonna lie, looking at the box, I was worried you’d brought me cupcakes.”
Hard Hat’s eyes widened, and he shook his head vigorously. “Oh, no. Not after yesterday. None of us are giving Miss Pie our bits for at least a couple weeks - there’s a line, Mr. Print, and she crossed it.”
Lapis closed the box, levitating it back inside, then raised an eyebrow as a mud-stained scrap of confetti tumbled by the door. “Maybe don’t say that out loud, just in case. Still, thanks for the bolts - these should keep me covered for a long time.”
“Least we can do,” Hard Hat said, grinning at Lapis. “Anything else we can do for you, just let us know - the shop we work out of is just a couple doors down from yours, near the turn onto Cantering.”
Lapis chuckled. “You mind if I refer a few ponies to you, the next time something big blows through town?”
Hard Hat pretended to think a few moments. “Well, I’m sure we can fit in one or two more jobs. The extra bits won’t hurt, either.”
“Works for me,” Lapis said, offering his hoof. “See you then, Hard Hat.”
“See you, Lapis,” Hard Hat said, extending his own hoof in return. They shook hooves, and Hard Hat turned and headed down the road toward his jobsite, feeling greatly relieved.
Lapis shut his door as Hard Hat walked away, not feeling the slightest bit better about the party.
Sure, it was nice to know that Pinkie was facing some consequences for her insanity, and having a better idea of how she’d spun up a legion of supporters was… well, satisfying, though certainly not reassuring.
Unfortunately, for some reason, Lapis still couldn’t bring himself to open up the cursed book. It was sitting at the table inside his front room, in the exact spot where Lapis had left it sitting late the night before.
Lapis resumed his seat at the table. The night before, he’d sat there for a good two hours after Lyra and Bon Bon had left his house, trying to work up the nerve to open the book, and simultaneously trying to ignore the dust on the floor sweeping itself into neat piles in the corner, the rug repeatedly attempting to roll itself up, and the portrait of the mustached griffon making increasingly minute adjustments on the wall in an effort to hang perfectly straight.
Lapis was left with no choice but to face it - since the start of the party, his magic had been growing wilder, and he’d felt the toll it was taking on him ever since he woke up. Using his telekinesis was painful now, in the same throbbing-toothache way it had been after his Cascades, and he could barely stand for longer than a few minutes before his knees started shaking.
Looking through the book that Twilight had given him, the one on Cascades, had been… demeaning. Finding an explanation inside only made it worse. It turned out, when unicorns tried to suppress their unwanted emotions, it made their magic get …twitchy, so to speak, ready to cast a full-blown spell from the most primitive flickers of half-formed impulse. And, since emotion acted as a modifier, the aforementioned frustration only served to make those unintended spells less predictable, and more draining.
“I’m not going to take it out on Pinkie,” Lapis muttered aloud, staring down at the book. “I’m not going to risk dooming Equestria, wrecking Lyra and Bon Bon and everypony else’s lives, because of one crazy pony. I’ve got to be the bigger person here, I’m a mature adult, I can handle my own feelings-”
Lapis winced as a needle of pain shot through his horn, then watched, too exhausted to react, as every loose object in the storefront seemed to shift just slightly - the book on the table, the box of bolts on the counter, the piles of dust, all sliding slightly closer to being perfectly in-line with an invisible grid.
No, Lapis thought. No, I can’t. Not like this.
A heavy wooden thock from the back of the room caught Lapis’ attention, and he looked behind himself. The mimic was now sitting against the back wall of the room, once again in the shape of a wardrobe, and one of its doors had just swung open and bounced off the wall. Atop a small shelf inside sat Lapis’ kettle, a single mug, and a small teabag full of crushed leaves and tiny, dried, silvery-purple berries.
“Shimmerberry tea, huh?” Lapis muttered, then he levitated the items free of the wardrobe, wincing again as his horn twinged. “Not a bad plan. Thanks, uh… Chester.”
It’s as good a name as any, Lapis thought, as he filled the kettle and turned on the stove. It seems to like being a chest most of the time, and besides, it’s not like my own name makes much sense. I mean, come on, what does my job have to do with blueprints?
“So what are you, anyway?” Lapis asked, looking at Chester as he walked back into the front room. “You don’t do language, that much is obvious. You move and change shapes, but only when nopony’s looking, so either you can’t do otherwise, or you just don’t want to. I can fix you, which means you’re not alive, but you’re harder to repair than most other stuff, so… I guess that means you aren’t quite inanimate, either.”
Lapis blinked, and when he opened his eyes, Chester was a chest again, sitting directly in front of Lapis and angled to “face” him. It was the exact same position Chester had assumed the last time Lapis had tried seriously communicating with it, right down to the number of inches between them.
“Are you an enchanted object?” Lapis wondered aloud, knowing full well that Chester wasn’t going to respond. “What were you made to do? To follow somepony? To help them? To sit around and confuse them, what?”
Again, Chester didn’t move. Lapis sighed, then - simply because he couldn’t think of anything else to do, and at this point would welcome the distraction if Chester tried to eat him - he opened Chester’s lid, the hinges moving noiselessly as Lapis raised the heavy wooden lid with his hoof.
Instead of teeth, or anything resembling a mouth, or even some cursed artifact, Lapis found only a single piece of paper stuck to the bottom of the box. There was a small, simple smiley face drawn on that scrap of paper, and as Lapis looked at the face smiling back up at him, he realized - he’d drawn it, back in Amberhoof nearly a month ago, when he was first trying to figure out whether Chester was moving or not.
“Huh,” Lapis muttered. “You kept it.”
Chester sat as perfectly still and silent as a normal wooden chest ought to, continuing to smile up at Lapis with the face that he had made, that it had chosen to keep. Lapis sat just as quietly, and almost as still - though he had to blink as a small, hesitant smile slowly spread across his own face.
Then the kettle began to shriek from inside the kitchen, and Lapis got up to pour his tea. Half an hour later, he pinned a sign to his notice board and left.
At that moment, Mayor Mare would’ve loved a cup of tea, though she was never much for shimmerberry. The flavor was nice, but mana supplements just got her feeling jittery, and chamomile did a far better job of helping her relax.
And if the look of steely determination on Bon Bon’s face as she marched toward Mayor Mare’s desk in Town Hall was any sort of indicator, a chance to catch a breather was about to be something she sorely needed. “Good morning, Miss Bon, Miss Heartstrings. How can I help you?”
“You have three guesses,” Bon Bon said, her tone perfectly calm. “I’ll even give you a hint: ‘balloon.’ Mayor Mare, I’ve lived in this town for years now, and I’ve never once seen you overlook something of this magnitude. I have reason to believe that over the past two months, Pinkie Diane Pie has incurred a list of criminal charges that could include breaking and entering, stalking, harassment-”
“Unlicensed sale of goods at official events, defamation, and a list of littering offenses that covered no less than twelve pages, single-spaced and double-sided, before I saw fit to issue her a confetti permit,” Mayor Mare finished. “Rest assured that Pinkie has her own filing cabinet in the town archives.”
Lyra blinked. “…Defamation?”
“Announcing to the public that a grocer has ‘bright, sunny yellow teeth,’ while not technically meant in a negative light, could be perceived as slander on the quality of said grocer’s goods,” Mayor Mare said, rubbing her forehead with a hoof. “Luckily, the don- individual in question never saw fit to press charges, which brings us to my next point. Do you know, Bon Bon, how many ponies came to my office after the Parasprite Incident, demanding to know which pony was responsible for the Harmonic Cascade that straightened the extremely expensive curls right out of their mane?”
“No,” Bon Bon said. Why should I care, her flat stare asked.
“Well, it was just one,” Mayor Mare said, “and it wasn’t even an Element of Harmony. No, it was Mrs. Rich, and she wasn’t the least bit pleased to hear that I couldn’t tell her. As I recall, she claimed to have a prewritten suit which only needed a name, and that if she couldn’t get the name she was looking for, she was most certainly going to use mine filing for negligence instead. Now, of course it never came to that, and it obviously doesn’t justify my allowing yesterday’s spectacle, but it illustrates something I imagine you might have forgotten: in certain cases, legal action is simply too much trouble to pursue.”
Bon Bon didn’t even blink as Mayor Mare continued. “Mr. and Mrs. Cake approached me on the subject of Pinkie’s… dubious respect for the law years ago, and revealed to me a great deal about her spending habits. She has zero savings, Bon Bon. Zero.”
Lyra frowned, her brow scrunching in confusion. “What? Wait, why?”
“Nearly every bit she makes goes into purchasing either higher-quality ingredients for Sugarcube Corner, or else into more varieties of party supplies than I can imagine, much less list,” Mayor Mare said. “I’m not supposed to know any of this, by the way, so I’ll thank you not to mention it outside this room. But in short, beyond a smile and a pastry, there is very little indeed that Pinkie can offer by way of reparations.”
“So,” Mayor Mare sighed, setting her elbow on her desk and resting the side of her head on her hoof. “I could certainly assign her community service, but quite frankly, that would barely constitute any punishment at all, seeing as she already does several of the relevant services of her own volition. I could also levy a smaller fine or two for the smaller infringements, which would certainly be… punishing. However, it could quite possibly force acknowledgment of her more significant offenses, such as the stalking and harassment. Those have far larger penalties, which Pinkie would not be able to meet monetarily. And that would mean locking her away somewhere, if not for one little thing.”
Bon Bon groaned, shutting her eyes and rubbing her forehead with a hoof. “The Element of Laughter.”
“Precisely,” Mayor Mare said, staring down at the bills strewn across her desk. Goodness, what a start to the day this is. “In the topmost left drawer of this desk, I have a scroll written by Her Royal Highness. It explains, in very polite language, that the happiness and well-being of Twilight Sparkle and her friends constitute a matter of national security. And while our Princess doesn’t provide any specific orders, it does suggest, very politely, that I should find alternative solutions to corporal punishment wherever possible.” Mayor Mare sighed. “I’m sorry, Bon Bon. I really, truly am. I don’t think there’s anything I can do.”
“Can Lapis at least pursue a reining order?” Bon Bon asked, returning her hoof to the floor. “There’s got to be some way of keeping her from pulling this kind of stunt again. Lapis was terrified of this pony for two months!”
“A reining order would be theoretically possible,” Mayor Mare said, nodding. “That is, provided that Lapis has previously explained his grievances and wishes to Pinkie Pie in full…”
Bon Bon facehoofed. “Why hasn’t anypony overturned that yet?”
“…And that Pinkie Pie has subsequently disregarded his wishes, to the point where legal action is justifiably necessary,” Mayor Mare finished. “Of course, the explanation process would need to have a lawyer present, and Lapis would need to arrange and pay for the whole affair himself. Not to mention the question of whether Pinkie will follow the order in the first place.”
“So… what, we’re supposed to just sit on our hooves and do nothing?!” Bon Bon asked, throwing a hoof in the air.
“Well, no,” Mayor Mare said. She took a deep breath, then sat straight in her seat and fixed Bon Bon with a careful, unwavering stare. “No, what I’d suggest is that you either convince Lapis to actually pursue legal action-”
“Which he won’t,” Bon Bon said.
“-or, that you put this problem in front of somepony who Pinkie might actually listen to,” Mayor Mare finished. “And by that, I mean Pinkie’s friends, her family, or Princess Celestia, because Pinkie certainly doesn’t listen to me. Whatever you do, though, do it fast, because I’ve got an ache in my jaw that says somepony’s brewing up a storm of paperwork.”
When a pony in Ponyville mentioned “the forest,” most listeners immediately assumed they were talking about the Everfree Forest. This was typically a sound assumption, as the Everfree was the closest true forest to Ponyville, and the nearest alternative - the White Tail Woods - was either a day’s trot or an hour’s train ride to the west of Ponyville, which made it impractical to visit without rather a lot of planning.
So, when Lapis had written up an out-for-the-day notice and pinned it to the notice board, he’d made a point of not writing that he was going for a hike. He wasn’t in the mood to explain that no, actually, he wasn’t planning to go into the Everfree in his current state, and that his cup of shimmerberry tea already had him feeling much better than he looked. There was a sizable patch of woodland on the southwest side of Ponyville that was just dense enough to qualify as ‘forest,’ while still remaining separated from the Everfree proper by a deep, fast-flowing river. It was, in Lapis’ opinion, a great option for ponies who needed to wander a mile or so away from civilization and blow off some steam in privacy.
Granted, that patch of woodland also happened to include Fluttershy’s house, but Lapis knew where that was, and he’d be steering well clear of it. Even if Fluttershy had managed to stop Pinkie from inviting the Princesses, Lapis didn’t trust himself to keep calm around any of the Elements just then.
For similar reasons, Lapis left his house with his mask in his saddlebags, scanning the skies and streets of Ponyville for any sign of Twilight or her friends as he headed southwest. He wasn’t expecting any of the Elements to pursue him - hopefully, they no longer had reason to - but he couldn’t take any chances on being approached, either.
As soon as Lapis crossed the boundary of Ponyville and got under the cover of the canopy, however, he relaxed. It was a beautiful patch of forest, and the birdsong mingling with the sound of the cool autumn wind whispering through the leaves above was practically a lullaby. There were several rays of sunshine that managed to poke through the gaps in the green and scarlet foliage, but the sky was still almost completely obscured, and Lapis welcomed the chance to let his head hang instead of craning his neck to look for Rainbow Dash.
For half an hour or so, Lapis fell into the steady, mindless rhythm of putting two hooves in front of the others, making his way along a well-trodden, winding game trail that nonetheless took him steadily deeper into the forest. Eventually, Lapis stepped around a large, moss-covered gray rock and found himself at the edge of a decent-size, well-shaded clearing surrounded by densely-packed pine trees. A soft, rusty-orange carpet of fallen needles muffled Lapis’ hoofsteps as he made his way toward the center of the clearing, where a long, low slate boulder rose from the forest floor like a whale breaching for air.
Doesn’t look like there’s any hoofprints through here, Lapis thought, looking around the clearing as he took a seat on the boulder. I think I might be the only pony who’s been here for a while.
Lapis took a deep breath in, then shut his eyes and let it out, slowly letting himself slump forward as he did. This put his head a lot closer to the ground than he expected, and not for the first time, Lapis was struck by how different his pony anatomy was from his human body.
“I just want this mess to be over,” he muttered, and the whistling of the wind through the trees almost seemed to grow quieter. “Is that really too much to ask?”
Lapis opened his eyes, staring down at the pine needles between his front hooves. “I don’t want to be here,” he said, his voice rising as a warmth began to pulse within his chest. “I don’t want to be welcomed, I don’t want to be made at home, because this isn’t home. I don’t want to be forced into the spotlight, to say that everything is fine, because it’s not. I don’t want to be here, and I shouldn’t be here in the first place.”
The fallen needles on the ground began to rustle again, as Lapis raised his head. “Let me go home, dammit. Is it that hard to leave someone alone? Is it really that difficult to keep your head down, mind your own damn business, and let a guy go about his day without CHASING HIM THROUGH THE FUCKING STREET?!”
The warmth in Lapis’ chest had swelled to an uncomfortable, throbbing heat, and the needles were continuing to rustle around Lapis. He noticed all of this, noticed that he’d gotten to his hooves at some point, he just didn’t care. “I’ve got bills to pay, I’ve got an alicorn turning up in my dreams, and I’ve got my family probably going bankrupt because I was sucked through an interdimensional fucking portal. I am up to my eyeballs in bullshit already. I don’t need any more, and I sure as hell don’t need to spread it around to anypony here!”
Lapis glared up at the canopy as he began to concentrate, shutting his eyes against the the pine needles swirling around him, their tips faintly gleaming with candle-yellow light as he summoned his magic. “So take your stalker friends…”
Let the winds pull all together, keep them spinning like a top-
“Take your hot air balloon…”
-Keep them churning tighter, faster, don’t let the spinning stop-
“Take your whole bubblegum-colored, batshit-crazy ass…”
-Then throw them all apart, all together with a pop-
“And FUCK OFF!”
The incantation finished, and Lapis felt his mana wrench itself free of his horn as his spell went off ten feet above his head. There was a pop like a firework going off, and Lapis’ knees shivered and bent as a wall of wind washed down over him from above.
Huh, Lapis thought, as the wind howling in his ears died down. That spell… was more intense than I meant it to be.
The incantation had been for the ‘pop’ spell, the same one that Lapis’ smithing bracelet used to keep him from burning his hooves on his forge. It wasn’t supposed to have as dramatic of a drain as it just had, and it certainly wasn’t supposed to be that loud.
Lapis opened his eyes, looking around, half-expecting to see the aftermath of a full-blown magic explosion. To his relief, nothing like that seemed to have taken place - the clearing seemed almost completely unchanged, save for a few patches of disturbed pine needles near the ground. That didn’t stop Lapis from continuing to look around as he tried and failed to get up off his knees, to peer into every patch of shadow and swaying undergrowth.
He waited. For some pony to pop out of the bushes and ask whether he was doing alright, to ask what he’d meant by all that, for them to gallop away instead. For some drooling monster to stalk out of the brush while he was too drained to run away, for a Princess to descend from above, serene and smug and demanding he tell them everything. He felt that it was going to happen, was sure that it had to.
Lapis waited for it all to fall apart, and the forest carried on as it always had.
“Gone,” Bon Bon muttered, staring at Lapis’ notice board. “Why am I not surprised?”
“No, it’s okay - perfect, actually,” Lyra said, stepping past Bon Bon and levitating a few request slips off his board. “Alright, so, Lapis. He lies. Like, a lot, or else he just doesn’t say what he means. You know how many times you asked Lapis why he was avoiding Pinkie?”
“I lost count, actually.”
Lyra nodded. “And what’d it take for him to spill?”
Bon Bon frowned, glancing over at Lyra. “If you’re about to suggest we put him back in Ponyville General, then you and I are going to have some words, Lyra.”
“Wait, what?” Lyra asked, her ears flicking back as she looked at Bon Bon. “No! No, it took you visiting him in Ponyville General- okay, let me try this another way. A few days after the whole Nightmare Moon thing, we got Lapis a rug, remember?”
“A rug, and most of the furniture he owns,” Bon Bon said, following Lyra as she turned down the street from his house.
“Exactly,” Lyra said, smiling. “He still has that Griffon portrait in his living room. And, actually, I just realized - when did he tell us where his house was?”
“Not until after we were already inside of it,” Bon Bon said.
“Exactly,” Lyra said, nodding and gesturing for Bon Bon to continue. “And why were we in there?”
“To save him from the Nightmare thing,” Bon Bon said, as Lyra grinned triumphantly. “Lyra, is there a point to all this?”
“Yeah,” Lyra said, turning back down the road. “My point is, we trust Lapis, and he trusts us. But, we don’t trust everything that Lapis says. We can’t. He knows that, we know it, and… well, I think he knows we know, but I don’t know for sure?”
Bon Bon groaned, rubbing her forehead with a hoof. “Lyra…”
“Almost there, I promise,” Lyra said. “So, why do we trust Lapis, even some of the time? How do we know he’s a good pony?”
Bon Bon blinked, then stared at Lyra. “I’m sorry, what?”
Lyra ground to a halt. “…Okay, now that I say that out loud, I see how terrible it sounds. Um… I meant it in good faith? We know Lapis is a good pony, we have reasons to trust him, I’m just asking you what they are.”
Bon Bon sighed. “…Well, during the Nightmare thing, Lapis galloped straight toward everything dangerous that wound up in front of him, all night long. He got that book to Twilight, he saved Big Mac from the cauldron and Hot Cocoa from the Nightmare, and he kept the Nightmare from getting away. He tried to help with the snacks at your concert, he helped Big Mac with the apple harvest…”
“Right, exactly,” Lyra said. “And Lapis’ biggest tell, whenever he’s lying about anything, is that he tries to stop his ears from flopping back. But he can’t. Not completely.”
Lyra grinned, glancing down at the stack of order slips and then hanging a left. “When he lies, he lies with words. He’s been honest…”
“With his actions,” Bon Bon said, her eyes widening.
Lyra nodded, trotting up to the front door of a nearby house, then turning to face Bon Bon. “You’re getting it now, right? We’ve been telling Lapis that we’re his friends, that he can trust us not to freak out about whatever he’s dealing with. But, we can’t trust what he says, so how can he trust what we say?”
Lyra knocked on the door of the house, still speaking to Bon Bon. “So what I’m thinking is, maybe we try something else. Maybe, we show Lapis that he can trust us, the same way he’s shown us we can trust him.”
The door opened, and an enormously muscular pegasus stallion poked his head through the doorway. Lyra grinned at Bon Bon one more time, then turned to the pegasus. “Hi! My name’s Lyra Heartstrings, and this is Bon Bon! I heard you’ve got a bench you need repaired?”
Rarity had been expecting to run into any number of four other ponies, if she ran into anypony at all on her way to Sugarcube Corner. Macintosh Apple was not one of them, but she most certainly welcomed the surprise.
“Big Mac!” Rarity announced, as she trotted toward him. “Well, my goodness, darling, whatever brings you here? Picking up a surprise for somepony, are we?”
“Nope,” Big Mac said, shaking his head, and at once Rarity began to look over the details. Faint crease of the brow, some tension around the mouth and eyes, decidedly somber tone. Slightly bowed knees, too - no trembling, so not fatigue, but almost as if he’s bracing for a blow. Dear me, he does mean business, doesn’t he?
“Ah,” she said aloud. “In that case, I take it here you’re also here about yesterday’s little… undertaking, let’s call it?”
Big Mac cocked an eyebrow, then nodded. “E-yup. Though, Ah’m not sure Ah’d call it ‘little.’”
Polite tone, but ears tipped back, just a little. Indignant, but perhaps not with me. Rarity smiled, letting a little of her weariness show. “Then I’d say you’ve gotten the crux of the issue quite well in mind. Truth be told, I’m afraid I may have lost a little sleep considering how to approach Pinkie about her, ah, fixation.”
Big Mac shook his head. “Ah just can’t understand why she’d go to so much effort. And Ah know Lapis said it was alright, but… well, for some reason Ah ain’t so sure.”
Worry, plain as day. No body language need, it's written all over his face. “I believe I know just what you mean, darling,” Rarity said, nodding. “I’ve garbed enough masquerades to know a mask when I see one, and neither Mr. Print nor Pinkie were being quite honest yesterday afternoon.”
Now, it was Big Mac’s turn to be surprised, as he cocked his head a little and frowned. “…Pinkie?”
“Oh, yes, dear,” Rarity said, nodding. “I’ve known Pinkie for years, and while I can’t claim that she and self-restraint are terribly well-acquainted, she doesn’t normally indulge quite so heavily in her punch blend. And of course, there’s the matter of Mr. Print. The look on the poor unicorn’s face when Applejack invited him over for dinner… well, I’ve no idea what nerve she might have struck, but she struck it hard.”
This last line was a lie - Rarity knew precisely which nerve Applejack had struck - but Rarity meant it well. Offering to help Lapis feel at home, right after he’d already mentioned his intent to return to Amareica, was frankly a risky enough move that Rarity didn’t wish to discredit Applejack by pointing it out.
Big Mac sighed, then set his hoof on the door to Sugarcube Corner. “Ah’m afraid Ah may have some idea, but we’d best save it ‘till later. Pinkie ain’t gonna have a word with herself.”
“I think perhaps you underestimate her, darling,” Rarity said, stepping into the bakery as Big Mac pushed open the door. “But yes, let’s take this one step at a time. Pinkie, dear, are you here?”
The storefront of Sugarcube Corner was deserted, but after a second or two, Carrot Cake stuck his head through the doorway that led to the kitchen, speaking in a low voice. “Well, if it isn’t Rarity and Big Macintosh! How are ya?”
“Doing quite well, Carrot Cake, and hoping you’re doing the same,” Rarity said, stepping up to the counter. “As much as we’d love to catch up, we were hoping to speak to Pinkie Pie. Is she in at the moment?”
“Oh, she’s just upstairs,” Carrot Cake murmured, smiling. “She’s been up there ever since she grabbed breakfast earlier. Just head up the stairs around that way. And don’t mind me, either, I can’t really be out of the kitchen right now. I’ve got a wedding cake that’s trying to rise, and I’ve gotta keep the kitchen quiet, or else it might collapse!”
“Ah,” Rarity said, lowering her voice. “Well, in that case, we’ll leave you to it. Thank you, Carrot Cake, and good luck with the baking!”
“Thanks!” Carrot Cake replied, smiling and waving to Big Mac as Rarity made her way toward the staircase, then advanced toward Pinkie Pie’s bedroom.
“…Pinkie Pie?” Rarity called, ascending the last few steps of the spiral staircase that led into the top room of Sugarcube Corner’s cupcake-shaped tower. “It’s Rarity and Big Mac. We wanted to talk with you about some… thing…”
Pinkie Pie’s bedroom was an open and roughly cylindrical room, with yellow-brownish walls broken up by candy-cane-striped pillars. The section where Rarity and Big Mac stood now was overlooked by a large, ring-shaped balcony in the higher level of the room, and had a gray stone hearth built into one wall. The hearth wasn’t lit just then, which was a very sensible decision in Rarity’s opinion - with all the slips of scribbled-on paper and colorful thread taped and tacked across the walls, any kind of open flame seemed as likely as not to suddenly transform Pinkie’s tower into an oversized candle atop the Bakery.
It wasn’t the sight of all the paper that stunned Rarity out of her sentence, however. No, that honor was won by what was on the paper. Half a section of wall was taken up by a massive, crayon-drawn map of Ponyville, several streets marked off with lines of bright pink string. Those lines of string in turn formed a sprawling, criss-crossing spiderweb across a spread of hastily-written notes, which read things like ‘7 AM earliest, 10 AM latest’ and ‘Try introducing to Lonely Road, both from out of town’.
Pinkie stood at the opposite end of the room from the staircase, pulling down her web and stuffing it into a box as if it were the most natural thing in the world. “Hey, Rarity! Hey, Big Mac! You’re just in time, I’ll be done with all this in just a minute or two. What was it you needed?”
“Uh…” Rarity said, unable to tear her eyes away from the sprawl of notes. “Right! Well, Pinkie Pie, darling, Big Mac and I were discussing yesterday’s party, and-”
“Whoa, no-no-no-no-no,” Pinkie said, shaking her head. “That wasn’t a party, it was a brunch!”
“It weren’t neither,” Big Mac began, stepping forward. “That was a full-blown spectacle, Pinkie Pie, and-”
“Pinkie,” Rarity said, levitating one of the fallen notes up to her side and skimming it over - it was a list of names, ponies in Ponyville, labeled ‘Maybe-Possibly-Kinda-Friends for Lapis Print.’ “You didn’t make all this preparing for Lapis’ brunch, did you?”
“Sure did!” Pinkie chirped, beaming, then she bounced back over to a wall and began to pull down another section. “He was being super-duper sneaky, so I had to be super-duper-looper careful to make sure I was going to catch him! Did you know he can just disappear, without using any magic or anything? Because it took me forever to figure out he could, and I still don’t know how he does it! One second, he’s right in front of you galloping away, and then he goes around a corner and POOF!”
Pinkie paused, tapping her chin with her hoof. “Well, actually, there isn’t a poof, or even just a puff. There’s just nopony there but rain barrels!”
Rarity felt her jaw drop as Big Mac grunted beside her. “Well, Ah guess Lapis really wasn’t kiddin’ about you and Twilight huntin’ around for him.”
“Pinkie,” Rarity said, taking a deep breath and leaning forward. “What, in all of Equestria, could possibly motivate you to give this poor stallion so much trouble?”
“Uh, trouble?” Pinkie said, and her smile didn’t fool Rarity for a second - ears cocking back, leaning away from me, glancing toward the stairwell, she does NOT want to have this conversation, but this has clearly gone too far, for too long. “I just threw him a welcome brunch, Rarity. Sure, there were a few extra steps-”
“Like cuttin’ off all his exits ahead of time, giving him a ‘nudge in the right direction’ with a crowd of thirty-some-odd ponies, and leaving him a fake way out in case he tries to escape?” Big Mac asked, reading down a checklist he’d pulled off the wall.
“Well, yeah, but if he wasn’t so darn sneaky, then none of that would’ve happened!” Pinkie said, her eyes growing wider as the smile began to leave her face. “He managed to dodge his invitation for two whole months, Rarity. Nopony’s ever done that before, and two months is a really, really long time-”
“Long enough, darling, that I would’ve taken the hint,” Rarity said, “and left Lapis Print alone.”
And then, quite suddenly, Pinkie Pie jolted stiff, sucking in a quick breath and lurching to her full height. Rarity was so stunned by the sudden change that it took her several seconds to recognize it for anger. “Hey, I didn’t know that Lapis was really friends with Lyra and Bon Bon until we met them at the party, okay? They never mentioned him to me! Not even once! For all I knew, I was the only pony in Ponyville who really cared that he was here, for two months. And sure, he was sneaky, and he never seemed happy to see me, but I just couldn’t leave him alone. Because as long as my name is Pinkie Pie, there’s one thing I’ll never, ever do, and that’s leave somepony lonely!”
Pinkie sat down, seeming to deflate a little, but she lifted her head to meet Rarity’s gaze. “I know yesterday was too much. I know it was more than a brunch, I know I should’ve done something smaller, and I’m really worried about how I’m going to make up with Fluttershy and Twilight about all this. I just had to make sure he knew somepony cared, to make sure that a lot of ponies cared. Two months is a long time to be lonely, and nopony should be lonely.”
Pinkie glanced out the nearest window, toward one of the roads that led out of Ponyville. “Nopony should ever be lonely. Not even for a little while.”
Hm, Rarity thought, exchanging a look with Big Mac as Pinkie started staring at the floor. I think I may, perhaps, have struck a nerve myself.
“Well,” Big Mac said, his voice low, “that may help explain yesterday. But it sure don’t excuse it.”
“No,” Rarity said, looking back toward Pinkie Pie. “No, I don’t quite think it does.”
In fact, this makes it rather a lot worse, Rarity thought, as she and Big Mac turned back toward the slumped Pinkie Pie. It means making sure Pinkie doesn’t do this again will be quite a bit more difficult.
Still, we must try. For the good of Ponyville, and for the good of everypony in it, yesterday’s fiasco must never again take place. Rarity met Pinkie’s eyes, and began to formulate her plan of attack.
“…And that’s every request on the board,” Lyra said, swiping her hoof across her brow as she threw the last slip in the trash. “Okay, I think I get why Lapis always looks so tired now.”
Bon Bon paused midway through pulling a splinter out of her hoof to shoot Lyra a flat look. “No kidding. Now, imagine having to do all that, and being the pony who has to hold everything still while somepony else hems and haws over where to use the hammer, for fifteen minutes. Per job.”
“Oh.” Lyra giggled nervously as Bon Bon took the splinter between her teeth and pulled it free. “Sorry, BB. You wanna drop by somewhere for a refresher?”
“Do we have time?” Bon Bon asked, starting down the street. “When is Lapis going to get back, anyway? Wherever he is, he’s been gone a long time-”
“I have?” a voice asked, and Bon Bon flinched in place. “I only thought I was out for a few hours. What’re you two doing, anyway?”
“Lapis!” Bon Bon said, turning to face the unicorn in question. “Sweet Celestia, you startled me. Where’d you…”
Lapis looked terrible. His mane was a frazzled mess, the bags under his eyes were nearly purple, and as Bon Bon watched, he seemed to sway slightly in place. Even his coat was ruffled in a few places, and there were loose pine needles stuck to his hooves.
“…go?” Bon Bon finished. Well, even if he doesn’t tell us anything, it’s a good thing we took care of his work today.
“Went for a hike,” Lapis said, stifling a small yawn. He paused, one of his hooves slipping on the street as the yawn suddenly grew into a far larger one. “Had to blow off some steam. …What’s wrong?” he added, glancing between Bon Bon and Lyra. “Is there something on my face?”
“Uh,” Lyra said, her brow furrowing. “Lapis, did you get any sleep last night? Because… well, don’t take this the wrong way, but you look like a zombie-pony.”
Lapis blinked, then grimaced and tried to smooth out his mane with a hoof. “Yeah, I’m good. Had some magic issues, I think they’re fixed now. Not having a Cascade again if I can help it.”
Magic issues? Bon Bon exchanged a look with Lyra, then turned back to Lapis. “…Alright then. When was the last time you ate?”
Lapis frowned. “Uh, breakfast…” He glanced up at the mid-afternoon sky, squinting up at the sun. “Oh. Well, I guess I’m having a late lunch today.”
“Yes, you are,” Bon Bon said, stepping behind Lapis and hooking a hoof around the back of his neck. “Now."
“Right now?” Lapis asked, his brow furrowed in confusion.
“Right now,” Lyra replied. “You really don’t look good, Lapis. You need some food.”
“Food sounds good,” Lapis admitted. “Bon Bon, you can take your hoof off my neck, I can walk just fine. Where are we going?”
“The Corner…” Lyra began. “…Uh, I’m not sure. Bon Bon, you have any ideas?”
Lapis held up a hoof before Bon Bon could answer. “I could go for the Corner Cafe, actually. You think they’re still serving coffee?”
“You need rest, not caffeine,” Bon Bon said, glaring at Lapis as the three of them started toward the site of the brunch. “If you order so much as a mug of half-caf, I’ll knock it out of your hooves.”
“Joke’s on you, I’ll probably straighten your mane out again,” Lapis muttered. “And I’m not getting any rest yet, I’ve still got work to do.”
“No you don’t,” Lyra chimed, grinning over at Lapis. “Me and Bon Bon took care of it for you.”
“Oh, alright. Thanks,” Lapis said, grinning back at her. “…Wait, what?”
“We did your job,” Bon Bon said, before Lyra could speak. “We’ll explain after we get there.”
The Corner Cafe was only half an hour away from closing by the time that Lapis, Lyra, and Bon Bon arrived. Bon Bon pushed the door open, just in time to see Hot Cocoa drop a broom that she’d been using to pull a leftover streamer down from a corner of the room. The broom hit the table, and its head promptly snapped off its handle, prompting Hot Cocoa to groan in frustration.
“We’ll find our own table,” Bon Bon said, as Hot Cocoa shot a glare in their direction. As they passed by, Lapis looked down at the broom, then picked up its pieces and pressed them back together - and, one flash of light later, the broom was good as new.
“Here you go,” Lapis said, passing the broom back to Hot Cocoa as he levitated the streamer down from the wall. “No charge. And… sorry, about everything you had to deal with yesterday.”
“Still dealing with it today,” Hot Cocoa grumbled, taking in Lapis’ sorry state. “…And it’s not your fault, but thanks. You want the usual?”
“The usual sounds great,” Lapis said, an exhausted smile crossing his face.
“The usual, without the coffee,” Bon Bon added. “For all three of us, please.”
“Coming right up,” Hot Cocoa said, looking over Lapis one more time before she turned and headed for the kitchen, tucking the broom under her wing. Lyra, Lapis, and Bon Bon took the opportunity to file into their usual booth near a window, Bon Bon glancing around the restaurant for any fellow patrons. To her surprise, the Cafe was basically deserted - as she watched, the only other ponies in the room finished their meals and left.
“So, what’s all this about doing my job?” Lapis asked, looking up at Bon Bon as he stifled another yawn.
Bon Bon looked at Lyra, who cleared her throat and spoke. “Okay, so… yesterday was rough.”
“Yep,” Lapis said.
“…Really rough.”
“Yep.”
“Like, I-was-expecting-to-stop-another-Cascade rough,” Lyra said, leaning forward. “And, well, you just kinda sat there and took it.”
“Yeah,” Lapis sighed, rubbing the side of his forehead with a hoof. “Yeah, I did.”
“And the way we see it,” Bon Bon said, “that means there’s something going on.”
Lapis froze, then set his hoof down, his eyes growing just a touch more alert as the gears began to spin inside his head. “Or maybe I just wanted to get the whole mess over with as painlessly as possible. What’s your point?”
“There isn’t one,” Lyra said, shaking her head. “Lapis, whatever your reasons, you needed some rest after yesterday, and… well, we figured we’d take care of it, whether whatever is going on or not. So, me and Bon Bon took the requests off your board, and we took care of them, as best as we could.”
“If Yellow Petal notices the dent in her wall, that’s my fault,” Bon Bon added. “Any supplies you buy are on me.”
Lapis blinked, and though the fatigue on his face didn’t fade, his shoulders definitely relaxed by an inch or so. Lyra, if this actually works…
“Listen, if you can’t tell us what’s happening,” Lyra said, “that’s okay.”
Lyra?!
“We know something’s eating at you,” Lyra said, “and whatever it is, it’s fine if you can’t tell us. Just… let us know how we can help, and we’ll do it, okay? We know you can do it, we just don’t want to see you hurt yourself trying.”
Lapis opened his mouth, closed it, then looked back at Lyra, who smiled. He turned to Bon Bon, who took a deep breath, then nodded.
“I…” Lapis began. “Thank you, both of you. That’s…” He sniffed, then cleared his throat as he stared down at the table. “Thanks.”
“Least we can do,” Lyra said, grinning. Lapis hesitated, then opened his mouth to speak - just as Hot Cocoa walked over to their table, bearing three plates and a trio of steaming mugs.
“I thought we didn’t order any coffee,” Bon Bon said, as Hot Cocoa dished out their food.
“It’s cocoa,” Hot Cocoa said. “On the house, as thanks for the broom.”
Lapis smiled, levitating his own mug across the table. “Hot Cocoa, come on, I told you there was no charge.”
“Just shut up and drink it,” Hot Cocoa said, smirking over at Lapis. “Slowly. And get some rest afterward, you look like you lost a fight with a ditch.”
Lapis shook his head as Hot Cocoa turned and walked away, then looked over at Bon Bon. “I don’t look that bad, do I?”
“You do,” Bon Bon said, as the sound of dishes being washed began to faintly echo out of the Cafe’s kitchen. “Your mane needs a trim, and your coat could use some serious shampoo.”
“Okay, I guess it’s been a while since I got it cut,” Lapis said, levitating his mug upward. He paused with his mug an inch away from his lips - then, he sighed, and set the mug down, looking around the room before leaning across the table and speaking in a low voice. “…Listen, I can’t tell you much, but I’ll share what I can. You two deserve that, and maybe you always did, so. What do you know about prophecies?”
Oh. Great. Well, here we go, I guess. Bon Bon glanced at Lyra, expecting a disappointed frown, but found her rubbing her chin with a hoof instead. “Uh, I know they exist sometimes. I think Nightmare Moon’s return was foretold by one?”
“I think that’s right,” Lapis said, then he sighed. “And… yeah, that’s the problem. The thing is, I never really saw any prophecies. But my younger sister… well, she did.”
“Your sister saw a prophecy,” Bon Bon repeated, looking Lapis straight in his face. That can’t be right.
Lapis shrugged. “I guess so. I mean, I don’t think she or I ever thought of it like anything more than a story, but then I ended up here, and… the places, the names, the big events, they’re one-to-one. Nightmare Moon, the bunny stampede, the star-bear, the Parasprites, everything. Everything big. Twilight and her friends are going to save Equestria, over and over and over again. Amanda knew every detail, she knew it all like the back of her- hoof, but I just kind of smiled and nodded whenever she told me about it. And then I wind up here, where suddenly it all matters.”
Lapis sighed, resting his head on his hoof. “I can’t tell you a lot, because I don’t want to risk changing anything. But the next big thing I can remember is that some chimera-god-goat thing breaks out of a statue and causes havoc, until Twilight and her friends eventually turn it back into stone with the Elements of Harmony.”
Bon Bon’s eyes snapped open. Discord? Lapis shouldn’t know that. Nopony outside of the Princess’ castle or S.M.I.L.E. should know how Discord is imprisoned.
Oh, sweet Celestia. Lapis isn’t lying, is he?
“There’ll probably be more stuff that happens between now and then, though,” Lapis was saying, and the behavior of Pinkie Pie suddenly became the very least of Bon Bon’s concerns. “And the whole goat-demon thing shouldn’t happen for a while. At least not until after this winter. And like I said, according to prophecy, everything should work out just fine. Which brings me to problem number two…”
Lapis looked Bon Bon right in the eyes, a tight grimace locked into position on his face. “Me. There’s nothing about me in the prophecy, which could mean two things. Option one, which I’m hoping for, is that I’m not important enough to mention. And option two, which I’m planning for…”
Lapis swallowed, then stared down at the table. “Option two is that I’m not supposed to exist. That I’m a rogue element, a monkey-wrench. And that if I do the wrong thing at the wrong time, if I make a big enough impact on any of the wrong dozen or so ponies, then I will alter the future. Maybe even destroy it.”
“…Ooh,” Lyra said, her eyes widening. “So that’s why you didn’t freak out about the party! You wanted Twilight and her friends to get it over with, and then forget about you-”
“Oh, hayseeds,” Bon Bon breathed.
Lapis paused, looking up. “What?”
Bon Bon slowly raised a hoof to the side of her head. “Lapis, if what you’re saying is true, then this explains a lot of stuff that I wish it didn’t. You really, really should’ve told somepony sooner.”
Lapis shook his head, exhaustion rising to the forefront of his face. “Would you have believed it?”
“Maybe I would’ve!” Bon Bon snapped, slamming her hoof onto the table. Then she remembered that Hot Cocoa was still in the kitchen, and felt heat rise to her face as she lowered her voice. “And even if I didn’t, maybe you should’ve told me anyway. Your first bucking Cascade should’ve shown you that much. Lapis, has it ever occurred to you, even once, that believing you’re not supposed to exist might start messing with your head?!”
Lapis’ face scrunched in complete bewilderment, his brow furrowing deeply enough to plant daisies in. “…What?”
“Let’s start with the Summer Sun Celebration,” Bon Bon said. “You put yourself in danger, oh, about four times that evening. You ran off after Nightmare Moon’s speech, alone, then you got under the cooking pot, then you take off toward the Nightmare-thing that went after Hot Cocoa, and then Lyra and I find you losing a fight with the whole entire Nightmare.”
“…Well, the Nightmare went after me,” Lapis began, but Bon Bon cut him off. “And just today, you abandon your job without telling anypony, and wander off into the woods alone when you know your magic is on the fritz. Not to mention that you went hunting for nothing in particular inside the Everfree Forest, with nopony to help you but Zecora and Nikki.”
Lapis opened his mouth, and Bon Bon pressed on. “Lapis, look at what happened yesterday. Look at how long Pinkie Pie spent trying to hunt you down, how much effort she and her friends put into finding a pony they barely ever saw! You are here, like it or not, and they know it. If you disappear again, that will have a bigger impact on them, and on Ponyville, than you could ever guess. That means you need to stop putting yourself in situations where you might disappear. Is. That. Clear?”
Lapis gaped. “…You think I’m getting into trouble on purpose?!”
“I think you sure aren’t avoiding trouble,” Bon Bon replied. “I think you’re trying to carry a lot more than you can bear alone, enough that anypony would want to set it aside. And I’m glad you decided to share the burden, instead. So let’s figure this out, together.”
Bon Bon exhaled a quick breath, then looked over to Lyra. “Anything you want to add, before we get started?”
Lyra glanced at Lapis, who was gazing, stunned, at the surface of the table, his mouth moving silently as his ears twitched atop his head. “Um… well, Lapis, I’m super glad you’ve decided to let us know what’s going on. And I really appreciate that you were trying to protect us-”
Lyra shot Bon Bon a look, then continued. “-by not saying anything. So don’t feel bad about keeping quiet, okay? You did your best, and that’s all anypony could’ve asked of you.”
…Oh, Bon Bon thought, and she resisted the urge to facehoof as she realized her mistake. Right. He was being protective, just as much as bucking reckless. …Sweet Celestia, I’m glad I didn’t go for that Pony Resources position. I’d be terrible.
Lapis blinked a few times, then seemed to snap out of his trance as he looked up from the table. “Right. Right, yeah. Thanks, Lyra.”
“Good,” Bon Bon said, taking a deep breath. “So, as far as the prophecy thing goes… I have no idea what to make of that, and I’m not sure I should. You said that as long as you aren’t involved, everything works out?”
Lapis nodded, and Bon Bon resumed. “Great. And you also said Twilight and her friends were involved. Anypony else we should know about?”
“Definitely Princess Celestia,” Lapis said. “Princess Luna, too. Though… not as much, I think. Oh, and Celestia’s… uh, niece, I think? Another princess?”
“Princess Mi Amore Cadenza,” Bon Bon said. “And is she a major player? Can you risk getting near her, informing her at all?”
Lapis’ eyes shot wide open, and he shook his head, hard. “Absolutely fu- uh, no.”
Lyra giggled. “Lapis, you’re allowed to swear. It’s okay if you use funny words, we already know you were raised by griffons.”
“Oh. Right.” Lapis chuckled, then looked Bon Bon in the face. “Well, uh, not her. Absolutely fucking not, at least not until after, uh… some stuff happens, later on.”
“Right,” Bon Bon sighed, rubbing her forehead with a hoof. “Well, then unless you’re willing to take a risk on Princess Luna, that rules out telling every alicorn in Equestria. Which is unfortunate, considering Their Royal Highnesses Celestia and Luna have the most experience with prophecy, by far, of anypony in Equestria.”
“Luna,” Lapis said, grimacing. “Yeah. I should probably mention, she’s started turning up in my dreams.”
“Has she?” Bon Bon said, frowning. “Well, that’s probably because it’s her job, along with moving the moon. She protects ponies from their nightmares…”
Bon Bon stopped, then double-facehoofed, resting her elbows on the table as something occured to her. “Lapis, don’t tell me you’ve been trying to avoid her the same way you tried to dodge Pinkie and Twilight.”
“…Uh,” Lapis said.
Bon Bon groaned into her hooves. “…You’ve outdone yourself. Congratulations.” Without looking up, Bon Bon waved a hoof vaguely in Lyra’s direction. “Lyra, please. Please, help me, before I say something mean to our friend.”
“Oh. Um…” Lyra cleared her throat. “I mean, you’ve decided to avoid Twilight and her friends like a normal pony now, right? Maybe you could just do the same thing for Princess Luna. Just… y’know, talk to her, figure out what she wants, do that, and then let everything be okay?”
Bon Bon picked her head up, taking another deep breath. “That seems like a good idea to me. My guess is that she wants to make the nightmares stop.”
“…Then talking to her won’t work,” Lapis said, grimacing down at the table. “Not unless she can magic my debt away, somehow.”
Bon Bon and Lyra exchanged a glance.
Slowly, Lapis frowned, then looked up. “…What?”
“Well,” Lyra said, “what if, maybe, she can?”
Lapis opened his mouth, then paused, and Lyra continued. “I mean, she is an alicorn, so her magic power is off the charts. And, y’know, she’s also a princess, so she’s super-rich. If anypony could find a way to send you back home with a great big chest of gold, it would kinda have to be her or Celestia, right? Not that I don’t think you could do it,” Lyra added, hastily waving her hooves. “I’m sure you’ve been making huge progress toward finding out where Amareica is. I just think it might be a lot faster if you had, y’know, an alicorn on your side.”
“And, as far as ponies to avoid go, Princess Luna isn’t the most unreasonable,” Bon Bon admitted. “Considering that she was possessed by a Nightmare until this summer, you have an alibi if she asks why you were trying to steer clear. Honestly, she may not even ask.”
“Ooh!” Lyra added, a smile growing on her face. “And, if she does figure out a way to get you back, then you’ll probably have time to make sure you officially move out, instead of just mysteriously disappearing!”
“I think you should get in contact,” Bon Bon finished, nodding. “It’ll be better than avoiding her, by a mile. Besides, if you want to get in contact with somepony who has direct authority over Twilight and her friends, who can make sure yesterday doesn’t happen again without implicating you… well, there’s only one pony who can guarantee that, and Princess Luna is her sister.”
Lapis’ brow furrowed, his eyes narrowing in thought, and Bon Bon swallowed. Well, he’s considering it, but if the stakes are on the level of Discord…
“Listen,” she said, and Lapis looked up to meet her gaze. “At the end of the day, you’re the pony with the prophecy, so it’s your call. If you can’t tell Princess Luna anything about the future, then don’t. But just talking to her, letting her help you go home… I think it’s safe, but you have to make the call.”
Slowly, Lapis nodded. “I’ll… I’ll think about it.”
“Good,” Bon Bon said, and she allowed herself to smile a little. “Now, let’s drink our cocoa before it gets as cold as our eggs.”
“Agreed,” Lapis said, grinning with relief and raising his mug to his lips. His eyes shot open, and he lowered his mug so quickly that he left a whipped-cream mustache on his upper lip. “Huh. Cinnamon. That… works a lot better than I thought it would, plus it’s still hot.”
“What, you thought Hot Cocoa had that mug on her flank for show?” Lyra giggled, taking a sip from her own cup. “Ooh! Bon Bon, that reminds me, are we doing cinnamon drops again this winter?”
“Cinnamon drops?” Lapis asked, frowning. "I've never heard of those."
“If it gets cold fast,” Bon Bon said to Lyra, before turning to Lapis. “They're good. Trust me, they warm you right up.”
Lapis examined his mug, and a small, hesitant smile spread across his face. “…Yeah. Yeah, I bet they do.”
Then, slowly, he took a longer drink of cocoa.
As Lapis sat down at his workbench in the basement, Nikki perched atop his head, he was surprised to realize that he felt… good. Better than he had in weeks, actually. Whether it was because of the long, hot shower he’d just taken, his magic’s return to normal following his venting session in the woods, or his partial revelation to Bon Bon and Lyra, he didn’t know.
Well, that’s a lie, Lapis thought, as he set the cursed book down on the workbench and opened it. It’s all of them. Yeah, I’m not sure whether approaching Luna is a good idea yet; yeah, I don’t know why Luna recently stopped showing up in my dreams anyway; and yeah, there’s no way I could’ve told Lyra and Bon Bon that the ‘prophecy’ was really a TV show, but… at least they understand what’s at stake. They know why it took me so long.
I still can’t believe they actually did my job. Lapis smiled, shaking his head slightly. God, every single request on my board. How long did it take them?
Nikki cooed, shooting Lapis a confused look over the top of his head. Lapis blinked, then sniffed and wiped his eyes. “Nothing. Don’t worry about it.”
Nikki smirked, and Lapis cleared his throat as he opened the cursed book, turned to the riddle, and picked up his pencil, staring down at the three lines on the page: Imagine thou art enclosed within a cell of stone. Imagine thy magic sealed away, and any doors, windows, drains, and furniture are absent all. How dost thou escape?
“I’m guessing ‘jackhammer’ isn’t the correct answer,” Lapis muttered, Nikki fluttering down to the workbench’s surface. “No doors, no windows, no drains, no furniture… well, they don’t mention skylights. Though, how would I get to it?”
Lapis picked up his pencil, cocking his head, then glanced at Nikki. “Hey, do ladders count as furniture?”
Nikki shrugged. Lapis lowered the pencil to the page, and wrote: Climb through skylight with ladder.
Then, Lapis stepped away from the workbench, positioning himself behind the forge and ducking for cover. For a long, slow count of thirty, nothing happened - then, Nikki cooed from atop the bench, and Lapis walked back over to inspect the book.
To Lapis’ surprise, his original answer had been erased. In its place was a new line, written in the same narrow, looping, elegant hand as the original: It is a stone box, with solid walls, which contains naught but thee.
“Great, it’s Tom Riddle’s diary,” Lapis muttered, then he picked up the pencil again. I open the box, he wrote.
This time, the book responded within seconds, erasing his response and replacing it with a slightly less elegantly-written reply. It is not that kind of box. It is a cell, within which thou art entrapped.
“What, like a hamster ball?” Lapis asked, confused. I see if I can tip the box.
Thy efforts would be in vain. It is a stone cell, of considerable size and weight more considerable yet, and even were it not, it is fixed in place. The writing was now noticably messy.
“Uh-huh,” Lapis muttered, glancing at Nikki. “See, this is why I hate riddles. Everyone always goes ‘find the creative solution, think about ways that all the parts could fit together, it doesn’t matter how strange they are!’ But then, when you actually think outside the box-”
And then, it clicked. Lapis paused, groaned, and touched the pencil to the paper.
I stop imagining the cell, he wrote.
For a few seconds, there came no reply. Then, slowly, the book closed itself, the indigo-black material of the cover shimmering under the yellow lamplight of Lapis’ workshop. The book flashed with soft white light - and, moment by moment, tiny silver specks began to appear on the cover, twinkling almost like glitter.
Then, a thin, gleaming crescent shimmered into existence on the book’s cover, and Lapis realized - the lights weren’t glitter. They were stars, and as a few more of them twinkled into existence upon the book’s night sky, the cover slowly swung open again, this time to the first page.
At last, it read, the writing returned to something like their original elegance. Behold the Night’s Index - thy guide to all the lore of mind magic, dreamwalking, and a thousand other odds and ends of obscurity. Pray, unicorn, what dost thou seek to learn from us?
Lapis cocked an eyebrow. He looked at the word ‘us’ written on the page, then glanced back at the crescent moon on the cover of the book.
“Wow,” he muttered. “You are not subtle, are you?” Lapis picked up the pencil, and once again touched it to the page.
Let’s start, he wrote, with what you want from me.
The response was a few seconds slow in coming. Thy caution is without need. For those who prove themselves worthy, we demand no price for our guidance. We seek naught from thee, save to allay whatever fears brought this tome to thy side.
“Uh-huh,” Lapis muttered, thinking back to the fall he’d taken just after finding the book in the Castle of the Two Sisters, how a dark blue telekinetic field had slowed him down before he hit the ground. You know what? Even if she can’t get me home, I need to start getting enough sleep again. I’ve got to wrap this up.
“Wish me luck,” Lapis muttered, glancing to Nikki, then he touched his pencil to the page. Then you’ve gone to a lot of trouble for one pony’s nightmares, between following me into the Castle of the Two Sisters and stalking me in my dreams before then. Enough trouble to make me suspect you’re lying now, even if I hadn’t already caught you in the act. So, let me repeat myself:
What I want to know, Your Highness, is what you want from me.
From the top room of her tower in Canterlot, Princess Luna read the words that Lapis Print had just written and felt her eyes widen in surprise.
“…Hm,” she eventually said, her mane rippling in the air behind her. There was nopony else in her tower, and no light save that of a single candle upon her desk. She was still dressed in her sleeping gown - she ought to have been asleep, as Celestia’s sun was still crossing the sky, but the insistent buzzing of the book upon her desk had woken her from her slumber. Placing an Alarm Charm was, perhaps, an unwise measure, but Lapis Print represented Luna’s most interesting foray into easing her subjects’ Nightmares since her return, and she had long been eager for him to bite at her most recent bait.
Only now, she found that Lapis had foregone the bait entirely, and bit through the line instead…
A small smile spread across Princess Luna’s face. “How direct.”
She dipped her quill in ink before touching it back to the parchment. We must admit, this is a vast improvement over pretending us nonexistent, she wrote. We ask forgiveness for our dishonesty. We had assumed our presence was unwelcome, yet ‘twas still our solemn duty to aid thy Nightmares in abating.
Please stop avoiding the question, Your Highness, came the reply.
“Ha!” Luna laughed, a further grin spreading across her face. Very well. The price we seek, Lapis Print, is thy nightly discontent. Ordinary nightmares may become the spawning grounds for troubles far more corporeal, and thine are more persistent than they ought to be.
We have seen thee reduce thy fears to a crater in thy dreams, and yet they persist still. As such, we seek to help thee find and undo that which, in the waking world, is cause for such lasting unease. Thou hast already been chosen by a Nightmare once before - we would not again leave thee open to such a fate.
“Of course you wouldn’t,” Lapis muttered, resting his face on the wood of his workbench. The wood was cool, and soothing against the warm throbbing of his building headache.
This was bad. Princess Luna knew about his encounter with the Nightmare, and she knew about his continued anxiety. She had both official and personal motivation to hunt him down and pick through every detail of his situation. If Lapis had made this discovery a week ago, he’d be in full-blown panic mode - if he’d made it this morning, he’d be one loud noise away from having a Cascade.
Yet, now, all Lapis felt was tiredness. What had changed? Had he exhausted whatever parts of himself were meant to feel anger, terror, distrust? Or had Bon Bon and Lyra finally talked some sense into him, when in raw and continual panic he hadn’t made a lick of sense for two months? Was Lapis broken, or was he fixed?
Did it matter, as long as it let him start moving again?
Lapis snorted. I don’t know. That’s probably not a good sign, he thought.
He lowered his pencil to the page.
Trying to help me might be more trouble than it’s worth, Lapis’ reply eventually came, the letters writing themselves slowly and deliberately across the page. Luna stared down at them for a long time, her ears twitching slightly, her face blank as a mask over the thousand emotions washing over her, as great and changing and churning as the tides.
Slowly, she turned her gaze to the ceiling of her room. There, painted over polished black wood, was her moon.
And with that, thou hast given us no choice but to try.
Lapis read the words once, then shook his head, smirking. “Yeah, I should’ve known better than that,” he muttered. Then, he raised a hoof to his face, stifling a long, shuddering yawn.
Bon Bon was right. Lapis had been taking way too many risks since he’d come to Equestria, whether he realized it or not. This was one of them, but believing he could succeed alone was a bigger one.
I have three problems, he wrote. One of them is student loan debt. The second is a magical accident that tore me from the country where I owe, and transplanted me into Equestria instead. The third is sleep deprivation.
Tired now. More to follow when I wake up.
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Something jumped out at me when I read this chapter. I really like the way you write Bon Bon and Lyra.
The aren't the reason I read this story. But you do the best job I remember at writing them as equals. And while you may have Flanderized Pinkie (more in a minute), you have certainly done the opposite with Lyra. She is not "that crazy unicorn" or "the unicorn with the human fixation". You've written her as lighthearted, intelligent, competent and loving (both fun- and otherwise). She, in your writings, is a Person. It's really neat.
I don't think that you did Flanderize Pinkie. I think that there are enough inconsistencies in her canon character that for some episodes, this was all pitch perfect. The fact that you had the whole town respond that while this was too far, it was simply further along the same track she was already running helpped, I think. I am intrigued by your work, and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.
I love that line, and intend to use it.
I have no idea what either that or the chapter title refer to. I seek your advisement as to whether I should further pursue this line of inquiry.
11427587
i believe its a reference to the "Artemis Path" from No Man Sky. in which you try to save a Traveler who crashed their ship so hard they somehow managed to fall out of the universe.
It was a nightmare waiting for this chapter but I prophesied it was going to be good it was very punctual and quite good I will be happy to see more in the future.:D
Can't tell you how happy I am this story is still being updated. I don't think Pinkie is flanderized but rather, hyperfixated. I think she'll come back this now that her friends are aware of the problem. Well not now now but her friends can start helping now that they know what the problem is.
11421166
Me: "This Pinkie Pie is a psychopath."
Readers: "No she isn't!"
Writer: "lol, Pinkie is a psychopath."
Vindicated.
Hot Cocoa revealed to be able to bend physical space to her will; either that or she's gigantic in this scene.
Restraining*
Wait it a minute... is that a horse pun?
11427607
I saw that typo, and "reining" in this instance could make sense as a horse-pun -- like horse reins.
Well, this chapter had quite a bit of progress made for Lapis! Understanding Chester a bit more and finally giving him a name (also, it was so cute that Chester kept the paper), developing his relationship with Lyra and Bon Bon enough that he feels comfortable sharing a lot more, and finally cracking open that book and confronting Luna a bit.
And as always, I love the character moments like Lyra and Bon Bon doing Lapis's job, or the thoughts Rarity has when talking with Big Mac. Great chapter as always!
As for your worries of Pinkie being given the Anon-a-Miss special (that's Flanderisation, for all of you guys who don't read every half-decent Sunset gets emotionally abused by everything fic), nah. She's not. Pinkie is a psycho, and giving her even more reason to go psycho by dodging her intently, let's just say that... Yeah, Pinkie had it coming.
The Luna bits are my favourite bits, I think.
This was an excellent chapter.
While Pinkie was a bit... extreme, you honestly haven't done her too much worse than many other writers and are in line with some of the show writers too. I feel like Pinkie and Spike were the hardest of the writers to get consistently right episode to episode.
Lapis and Luna's coorespondence was hilarious. Luna getting more and more frustrated with Lapis answers to the riddle were a hoot.
Don't worry about scheduled. You will get chapters when you get them out. (says the guy who hasn't updated his pony story in way too long.)
Well said in the author notes, and im looking forward to the next chapter. Hope it won't take long because I'm looking forward to the next one.
Well, looks like he is getting help.
This is NOT True. Cause if this WAS true, a different path would have been taken. Namely, the second Twilight and Fluttershy showed up about him, she would have turned to THEM and the rest of her friends for help to make sure this guy wasn't lonely. To visit, talk, ask, and investigation. If she TRULY believed she was helping him, WHY did she make the party as big as she did? Fluttershy and Twilight's idea was PERFECT, would have gotten them to meet in a nice and friendly way, AND would have gotten her a chance to ask if he had friends and give ways for him to make some, even if they were not her and her friends.
So no, you did NOT write her as a "genuinely well-meaning pony who has a number of screws loose". You wrote an insane godlike being who literally APPEARED BEHIND HIM AS HE TALKED TO LYRA, his FRIEND, and literally Threatened her and scared her to near death.
I can not see how, in ANY logical or even ILLOGICAL way she did NOT know he was friends with Big Mac, Lyra, and Bon Bon. If pinkie ACTUALLY and TRULY Cared, she could have EASILY asked Big Mac if he had any other friends, and would have been told yes, even if he didn't tell her who they were.
Pinkie could have been written MUCH better, and wasn't. In fact, with how EVERYONE acted last chapter, and the sudden 180 U-Turn in this chapter, I feel more like this chapter was written hastly in a direct responce to the outcries people had and that this was not the original plan or idea you had, and the reason it took so long, was cause you had to scrap the original plan and remake this entire chapter from scratch on the spot. and have to change how you wanted the story to go.
And that makes it even worse, cause it puts into question the main event, the 'Party'. Rarity knew this was wrong. And said NOTHING during it, didn't interrupt it, didn't scold Pinkie and give Lapris an out. No she LET it happen, without complaint. And suddenly NOW 12 hours later, decided to do something about it? Really? Maybe not Rarity, but Applejack? Fluttershy? Twilight? they ALL were 100% ok and onboard with allowing this to continue, FORCED Lapris to take part, were NOT mad at Pinkie at all, and only NOW after the fact have an issue? Do you see the problem?
You've now basically retconned and created Out Of Character versions of the characters. Either every character from chapter 1 to 15 were all the same and these new characters are OOCs. Or specifically the characters just in 15 were OOCs. Either way, it causes problems.
I can't tell you what to do, but I can tell you what I would have done in your shoes. I would have completely deleted chapter 15 and rewrote it to go a different way. And I'm not saying you have to do that, or even should do that as I am not a writer and even rewriting it might have caused issued. But it would have at least look like you were trying to fix the story to make it better. Right now, it just looks like you are reacting just to the Negative hate and creating OOCs and Plotholes to fix an gushing stab wound with a bandaid. Cause right now, we have it as 'in canon' to the story, that Pinkie Pie is still 100% a god, who can teleport, know things she shouldn't, pull anything she wants out of thin air, and can easily solve any and every conflict that will ever come up in the story with her god like powers that make Discord look like pretend demi-god to her powers.
No, not even joking. The second he pops free, she can just be standing here behind him, with all her friends, elements of harmony in hand, and turn him to stone. THAT is within her powers, thanks to last chapter. And if she does NOT do that, it's a plothole created by you the writer, just saying she doesn't do that because of some bullshit reason. THAT is the issue I mainly have with this Pinkie Pie. Being a little bit insane is 1 thing. Having the powers to defy logic and break the 4th wall, something even DISCORD is unable to do, is a VASTELY different issue.
11427644
So I'm going to go out on a limb here and assume you don't like Justice3442's stories?
Why did you make the chapters so long?
I love Pinkie Pie her character is one of my favorites.
Pinkie for all her faults wants only one thing to make ponies happy. For example in the Tantabus episode when Pinkie's dreaming she dreams about sharing ice cream with all the town's ponies, which unfortunately causes problems late down the line. Pinkie is the opposite to Twilight, while Twilight does things logically Pinkie does them emotionally. Her character growth is her tempering her "do first before thinking" attitude and learning responsibility.
Love this story by the way.
Keep it up, great story
I'm with Lapis on this one.
Well, now.
That's a whole lotta resolution in a single chapter, and all of it was very satisfying (quantity and quality).
You've managed to keep a lot of threads under tension for quite some time without your story breaking, which is really rare to see, but I'm glad we've now reached this point.
Miscommunications are amusing and drive conflict, but characters coming to understand one another feels so good in my soul.
Even now with certain motivations on the table, there will still be conflict between clashing desires. But everything makes sense now, and ponies can work towards being happy ponies. Seeming antagonists make sense and even garner sympathy.
And accumulating levels of exhaustion can still be fatal! It only takes six.
11427594
Oh, it's so much worse. You learn that not only did that happen, but that Artemis the Bad Pilot straight-up just died, and that what you've been talking to is a glitched-out leftover. Not only that, but...
It should be noted that the author said Pinkie is psychotic (relating to, denoting, or suffering from a severe mental disorder in which thought and emotions are so impaired that contact is lost with external reality) rather than a psychopath. While she certainly shows some of the common signs of psychopathy, such as reckless behavior and a lack of inhibitions, there are plenty of symptoms that she doesn't exhibit, such as habitual lying, lack of empathy, and an inability to admit wrongdoing. She very clearly cares very deeply about the well-being of others, it's just that she often can't comprehend that they might not enjoy the things that she does, and may even find them unpleasant. She's got some screws loose and could do with learning to think things through, but that's very different from being malicious.
Glad to see another chapter and that Pinkie has some more depth to her in this story other than she’s crazy.
I’m curious to see if Lapis ends up forming a literary friendship with Luna or just throwing earth riddles at her until she’s stumped out of spite
11427601
dHang on, I fix it - should be 'broom', not 'room'
11427585
Everything I aim for, right there. Thanks!
11427607, 11427609
Yep, horse pun. Gotta involve them somewhere outside of place names!
Author: My story/interpretation of Pinkie Pie
Readers: Nooooooo! Muh personal fanon/canon of Pinkie Pie!
Fimfiction:..............
Caught a typo.
Edit: You can ignore this, as I realized you already fixed it after I posted.
I enjoyed this chapter a lot. You showed the development of multiple characters by including them in meaningful scenes. Especially Pinkie Pie, who I think you have done great in portraying her personality, when she takes what is effectively OCD to make others know they are wanted/loved/cared about to the extreme.
I wonder now how much Lapis will cause changes to future events, even unknowingly. He already revealed Discord will free himself. I doubt Bon Bon won't inform Celestia about that "Prophesy", likely keeping Lapis' identity a secret. He also has connections with Changlings, that may make future interactions with them worse or better.
The thing about Pinkie... Is that she's insane. But it's possibly the most benign insanity there is.
Lapis is from a world where debt destroys life. Where murder, warfare, pain and loss are - if not common are a ubiquitous part of life. Pinkies worst nightmare is that someone she's never met before might be lonely. Such a though is as terrifying to her, as our most primal fears.
She loves. Not romantic, familial, or as between friends. But An unconditional love to strangers she does not even know. The kind that, were it proliferated, would allow for all those Utopian philosophies that work brilliantly until that pesky human nature thing here going.
She is mad, because I'm a real sense, she's innocent. She operates on the understanding that being lonely is the worst thing ever because to her, her friends are the best thing ever. Genuinely and sincerely. She has no material needs. No attachments to "stuff". She's well on way too ascending to a higher plane of existence.
She's the Element of Laughter. Joy. Celebration. And She lives and breathes that. They ultimate optimist because she doesn't just see the best in the people, She doesn't even register it.
Imagine that for a moment. Imagine being that happy. Imagine being that content with your life. Imagine seeing the world Through Her Eyes. It would be a beautiful thing. Her purpose in life is to spread joy. To make someone smile. Never cruel, never bitter, never sarcastic or cynical. Just the knowledge that your presence has made someones life better.
I hope that eventually she figures out Lapis. I hope that she is able to make him laugh. To bring him joy. Not right away. I love the plot and the drama. But before the end, I want Lapis to understand what the inside of Pinkies Soul is: and how such a thing is.
It's not that Pinkie is *crazy*. It's that the world is dark in a way that she just can not see. She is colour blind to the darkness in the world.
good story so far, dude
I loved the chapter and your author note.
So I guess my shipping him with Granny Smith was a hopeless endeavor?
I really liked the way you did this chapter. Good resolutions while still keeping the Story’s inner conflicts intact, and making me feel good.
Pinkie Pie…
She is a piece of work to write, and you’ve done it well. Respect dude. You have mine. 🫡
Honestly this feels like the most realistic pinkie pie I've seen on fimfic.
Everyone kinda goes and writes her like "Haha party mare/woman." or "That's just pinkie being pinkie!" Plus the fact that she has a criminal record, never seen that mentioned before and it took too long to finally see it.
11427704
More like
Author: "Haha here's 10k words of Pinkie Pie acting like a lunatic."
Readers: "What the hell, this is such a flanderization of Pinkie! And she's such an annoying psycho in this."
Author: "Yeah I interpreted Pinkie as being a literal psychotic so she's more unhinged than in canon. Also yeah I flanderized her, my bad."
Readers: "Ah okay then, that's neat. As long as she isn't as flanderized this should be interesting."
Only one person still seems to be upset at it and they'd be netting a hell of a lot less dislikes if they just learned that brevity is the soul of wit and just settled for saying "I think Pinkie is too disconnected even by the standards of a literal psychotic and her reality breaking brings up too many issues concerning the story" instead of literal paragraphs of the same thing worded slightly differently.
11427599
May I just point out that the author used the word "psychotic" not "psychopath?" Those are two drastically different things despite the similar spellings.
A psychopath just straight-up doesn't feel emotions at all and tends to act antisocially. Someone that's psychotic is experiencing psychosis, AKA a disconnect with reality. Is Pinkie psychotic? Absolutely, she is experiencing a heavy disconnect from reality as can be seen in both this story and arguably the show itself. Is she psychopathic? Not at all, she is extremely social, friendly, and does feel plenty of emotions, she's just bad at expressing them and understanding people like Lapis because she's psychotic.
I'm summarizing a bit, so check out CrovaxII's comment a good bit above for a bit more detail.
I mean the Luna Eclipsed episode shows that Pinkie Pie lacks empathy so I'm not all that surprised at her behavior as she does not respect other's boundaries. I say she lacks empathy because in the show she regularly says and does things with no regard for how that other person feels. As much as she is my favorite Pinkie needs to grow up and learn that actions have consequences. but then again, other ponies are also at fault for enabling her bad behavior.
Ah yes you once again made my day with this chapter. Also I am really curious in how discord will react to lapis when he come to ponyville.
11427749
As others have already said, she has shown an absolute lack of empathy at multiple points in both the show and this fic and seems to throw parties for self gratification and fulfilling her checklist of inferiority complex hangups than because she wants to cheer people up. She says she wants to cheer people up, but will immediately ignore them and continue her own thing the second they stop enjoying what she enjoys.
11427760
I see you neglected to read CrovaxII's comment as I suggested and neglected the "doesn't feel emotions" part of the definition. While Pinkie does show some symptoms of psychopathy, she is by definition not a psychopath.
And where in the world did I say that she didn't lack empathy? I said that she feels emotions but can't understand people like Lapis, which is pretty much saying exactly what you are here, so what exactly is the disagreement? Regardless, empathy is not relevant to a psychopathy diagnosis, so your entire point there is pointless.
grey streek in his hair? well someone is overusing reinforcement magecraft. hope he doesnt make any deals with conceptual beings and bucks the wizard Marshall in the face for being a troll when he meets him.
11427761
Dude, kindly fuck off with this middle school math teacher impression. Sorry I didn't look at the summer vacation reading list.
11427767
I suggested you read that because it went into more detail and that I hoped it would expand on the point had my comment not been enough, not because it was necessary. The fact that Pinkie experiences emotions is more than enough to disqualify her from being a psychopath regardless of her lack of empathy—something that's a symptom of psychopathy, but not the definition—which is what I was attempting to point out in my original reply: a simple misunderstanding of the easily mixed-up words which had the author saying something different than you.
And no need to get hostile here, nothing I said was meant to be personal, and I'm sorry if it came across like that. It's just that you both basically neglected to read my actual comment and then made an irrelevant reply, so I felt the need to emphasize the suggestion. I still recommend you look at it in case you still think Pinkie is a psychopath despite her objectively not being one.
11427650
Actually I really like this story, which is why I hate the last chapter so much. It was so forced, so bad, so out of character, that he had to spend this entire chapter on it's own, 13k words, to try and justify and correct what happened in the last chapter. Everything was great and I was loving every moment of it. Right up to the Pinkie Party. Just totally killed the entire mood and motivation of the story flat.
The story could have gone in an infinitely different better ways. Could have had a small party where the main 6 were much more respectful and that could have gotten lapris to realize these aren't the same girls in the mlp show and could maybe still interact with them sometimes without breaking everything.
Could have had them, namely Rainbow, be absolutely rude and use this to interrigate him and scared him even more and forced him to go back to the cursed book which could have been evil and corrupted him.
Could have had the first half of the chapter, till Twilight and Fluttershy broke free, grabbed their friends, stopped pinkie and apologies before letting him go and let bygones by bygones and dropped the matter entirely, but Lapris, seeing how much they seemed to care about him, enough to stop pinkie, that he stops hiding and starts interacting with them more, such as with AJ on the farm when he repairs their stuff now openly.
^ Just some random ideas that could have twisted the story in different ways.
But what we currently have, I can't see where the story goes. The biggest major conflict, interacting with the main 6 fully, getting to know them, and sitting down to talk with them. It's over now. He's now effective a background pony for real. He's effectively now a background pony with no conflict at all. His secret is 100% safe. No one is looking into him. No one cares about him. He just exists now. So what's the conflict? It seems the new one is going to be dealing with Luna, for as long as he can use her to block his dreams. And that seems to be it. What happens after that? With the other suggestions, the main conflict is still there. The Main 6 want to know more about him. But they get the information in parts, over time, with different parts for different ponies as they interact with him in different ways and slowly tiny bits of information gets released. But right now, the entire conflict is resolved. They have all the answers, and no reason to go looking for more. And Luna's conflict will be solved literally next chapter, depending on how quick he learns how to control his dream and cloak himself.
The story has, effective, hit a dead end. Which is probably why next chapter is all about Discord being free and immediately introducing an instant conflict and not more slice of life stuff.
This take on Pinkie being obsessed with ponies not being lonely certainly fits that one episodes where she thinks her friends forgot her birthday. Arguably that'd make her feel lonely and cause her to slip a little, the way she does.
A party being a vehicle to reduce loneliness could be argued to come from the story of her cutie mark. She made a party for her family which made her feel less lonely. Perhaps she felt disconnected from them and a party enabled that connection.
Anyway, does Lapis understand the literal danger that a nightmare poses in magic land?
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Was meant to be a lot less harsh sounding than it came out, tone doesn't reflect well over text.
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Understandable, it happens far more than is good, but I was also referring to the fact that every comment I posted on this chapter has a dislike (except for the one you just replied to and hopefully this one), even one that was completely unrelated. I was assuming that was you for what I hope are now obvious reasons, was I mistaken in that assumption? If so, once again, apologies.
Also, there's no interpretation of your tone that isn't excessively hostile, so I have no idea what you were trying to convey.
Glad to see an update, and its nice to see what you intended to do with pink.
It’s a shame Lapis wasn’t himself a fan because then he’d know Celestia never does anything and he’d be free to talk to her.
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It’s not that she never does anything, its that she never does it personally. Celestia would inevitably hand things over to Twilight, which would admittedly be somewhat awkward given the circumstances.