//------------------------------//
// 20: Sent via the daily post. 
// Story: Strange Letters from a Queen Bug Horse 
// by Roadie 
//------------------------------//



Twilight,

I've thought about our conversation more, and with some time to reflect, I can put it like this: I enjoy causing hurt. Is that too blunt? I don't like that I enjoy it, and I could talk about in terms of moral expectation and mathematical expectation and the results of mutualistic cooperation—but I'd like to think that I'm mature enough to put aside the childish need to frame things in aggressively rational terms. I couldn't stand to be a hermit any more than most ponies, but when I do have pleasant company that nasty part of me insists on acting out, and tricks the rest of me with snide pleasure that lasts just about until I start wondering where everypony has gone.

I try to keep that part of myself restrained, but if I only lock it away it surges out at the worst moments. Thus it becomes a balancing act, and neither side is pleasant: you have seen my errors in one direction, but on the other side is the ice queen with anger issues that I spent a long time being. I will spare you an exhibition: those are old mistakes I would rather avoid, now that I find myself making unavoidable new mistakes at all hours.

I may find the chance to get some theater tickets soon, if you would like to take the train up—though I will confess that I've started to find a certain amount of stress relief in getting away from the city every so often. My work pulls me in every direction at once, and I feel sometimes like I'm working four full-time jobs and mothering a horde of idiot children at the same time. Barring anything else, you may expect to find me in Ponyville on the next weekend even if it's just to spend a day with my head in the fountain.

Lim.



P.S. But you do know her accent really is fake, right? She's not even good at it. There's a reason the proper snobs use vocal coaches.