Dear Princess Cellybean,
Today I learned two very important things. First and foremost: According to Rarity, a lady does not get drunk, she gets fun. There is a subtle but significant difference between the two. Being drunk means you have an excuse for making poor decisions. Being fun is the same thing, but you're a slut.
The second thing I learned is not to trust Ponkus Badonkus with large sums of money, especially when visiting new places. I put her in charge of buying supplies in Rockwell before we set out for Arimaspi's Ruin, but she spent half of it on a bottle of super fancy wine,* which she and Rarity drank in a single sitting.
If we cut corners, we could have bought enough supplies with the other half of our original amount, but unfortunately Rarity was fun. She "dragged" Pinkie (I doubt she put up much of a fight) to a club where they threw the rest of our money at exotic dancers. Rarity was then kicked out for getting grabby with one of them.
Anon had to burn through the emergency fund you gave him to buy food and tents for us so we wouldn't all die in the wilderness. There's no guarantee we won't die anyway, so here's hoping the rumors about the gargoyle prove false. If we live, I'll have to give you the full rundown in person. We don't have enough money to buy any more parchment.
Your purple Red Ranger,
Spark Plug* To be fair to Pinkor, the label was really colorful and buyable.
Also, I skimped on some of the supplies and kept about a third of the emergency fund. If we need to fix some hurty boo-boos, I'd rather not trust someone to work for free with the promise of payment from the crown later. You never know.
Love, Anon