Dear Princess Celery,
Today I learned that doing dangerous shit to show people you’re strong is not a good idea. It doesn’t make you look strong, it makes you look dumb.
My friends were talking about who was the strongest and they all agreed I’m the weakest, which I clearly am. I wasn’t happy with them knowing the truth, so I wanted to prove myself the first chance I got. That first chance involved Applesauce’s barn. She needed help fixing a support beam, so my genius ass thought it was the perfect time to be stronk. I tried holding up the entire roof by myself. No magic. Apple said to use magic, but I am dumb and purple. I’m also injured now, but it’s only a bruised hip. As a side note, we got the barn fixed after I stopped being a dumbass and actually used the bone wand sticking out of my forehead.
Your limping biscuit,
Twiggly Wiggly