Dear Princess Sunbutt

by 2Merr


Letter 123

Dear Princess Third-degree Buns,

Today I learned that it’s better to ask for consent when taking things from others. If the answer is yes, everything is k. If the answer is no, I will likely take what I want anyway, but at least I asked first.

Yesterday I was dealing with a material that I refuse to disclose to Anon or Spike, meaning it's definitely 100% legal. This material is "sensitive to magic" (read: highly explosive), so I had to actually use my body instead of my horn to complete a physical task for once. In order to do this with any degree of dexterity, I was forced to once again acknowledge that humans are better than crayon horses. My hooves are impractical and dumb, not to mention you-know-what, so I didn’t bother using them. Instead, I took measurements of one of Anon’s strong, handsome arms while he slept.

Using this data, I molded my excess flesh into an arm. Just one. It grew out of my neck, right above the clavicle. I couldn't make it as handsome as Anon’s because you can't replicate perfection. I had also forgotten to give it bones, meaning it wasn't as useful as it could be. Growing new bones would take hours, and I didn't feel like waiting, so I just took Anon’s while he slept.

By the time I was finished touching the totally not illegal stuff, it was already morning. Anon woke up and immediately realized his butt-scratching arm was limp. When he found me in the basement, he laughed at how stupid I looked, then gave me a good talking to. He didn't mind that I took his arm bones, but he was very disappointed in me for assuming he wouldn't help if I asked. He said he would forgive me if I grew him some new bones and bought him a top hat. I did just that, and now everything is k.

Your literal middle finger to nature,
Twigh Five