//------------------------------//
// Letter 54 
// Story: Dear Princess Sunbutt 
// by 2Merr 
//------------------------------//



Dear Princess Cell Saga,

Today I learned that having a positive self-image does not magically make your clothes fit. 

For pony Halloween, I was going to dress up as Mare Do Well. (You remember her, right? The thing we did that one time with the stuff? Yeah, that.) I tried on my old costume and for some unknown reason I thought it fit. I guess my excessive purpleness is causing me to lose my vision, because the stitching near the waist was screaming for mercy. 

Anon kindly pointed this fact out, but I told him he was just trying to be mean (which is entirely unfair on my part, Anon has only ever been a gentleman). I then tried showing off my muffin top to Spike and Trix Ahoy, and they both told me exactly what I wanted to hear. Again, my purple prevented me from noticing their pained expressions as they lied to my face. 

Feeling temporarily validated, I tried removing the costume only to tear it in several places. Now this isn’t your normal fabric, this was made to withstand the rigors of being a superhero. But my lipid layer burst through that shit like the Kool-Aid Man. Needless to say, Anon was right, not that I’ll ever admit it. I’ll be dressing as something else this year. 

Your too-tight spandex,
Cellulite Sparkle