Strange Letters from a Queen Bug Horse

by Roadie

1: Received via dragon-mail.

Dear Princess Celestia,

Yes, I know. No, I’m not going to get in the way of that ridiculously delicate plan you’re making the world depend on—though you can expect me to intercede with all apropriate force if it fails, as I expect it probably will. I don’t care much about which particular pony sits on that throne of yours, but I like eating salads, and from what I understand a complete lack of sunlight will cause trouble with that kind of thing.

But I’ll get to the point: I want to go public, come out of the shadows, all that stuff. I have in mind a crown union, as in the olden days of Equestria before unified rule: an exchange of new titles, and a reciprocal extension of inheritance law. We would then the both of us enjoy the privileges of and obligations of duty towards both nations. I’m certain I could manage some suitably photogenic excuse for the reveal: some blather about ancient curses, poor pitiful changelings being awakened to their ancient glory by that junior alicorn you’re keeping in your pocket, mumble mumble aid to Equestria in its hour of need, blah blah blah.

There’s a whole cascade of world-ending affairs that will be shortly plaguing this continent at regular intervals, and I don’t trust you to handle them on your own. If I actually expected you to successfully manage any crisis more complicated than a kitchen fire, we could have just kept the status quo of my changelings invisibly but inevitably vampirizing your ponies at a whim. But I can’t—so I have to change how things work around here so someone more competent than you (that is, me) can act publicly.

Enclosed is the address of a mailbox in Canterlot. Send me your responses there and I will receive them.

Yours in questionable humor,
Queen Chrysalis

P.S. I’m sure you understand the implicit threat that comes with receiving this letter via dragon-fire mail from within your own castle. I’m inclined to cooperation, but I’m not going to make this move without some precautions.

Comments

[WorldWalker128]

If I actually expected you to successfully manage any crisis more complicated than a kitchen fire, we could have just kept the status quo of my changelings invisibly but inevitably vampirizing your ponies at a whim.

I now want to see the royals trying to contend with a kitchen fire.
The basic premise would be one of the new cooks botched baking Celelstia a cake and it burst into flames in the oven. Slightly-exaggerated Celestia is too distraught over the cake to react normally (she acts more like Rarity than herself), leaving Luna to handle it. Luna can't figure out how a fire-extinguisher works, and also can't understand why ripping a pony-toilet off a wall to use the water from the pipes to put the gradually growing and spreading fire out also is unacceptable, yet sighs and doesn't do it at the behest of a guard that reeeaally needed to pee, who darts into the bathroom and shuts the door. Not knowing that a local fire-fighting force is already in Canterlot for similar situations and has been for several centuries she sends for Twilight and waits for a response for half an hour, letting the fire spread more. Turns out Twilight's out of town on a map mission, which ruins that plan.
In the end, a group of students on a field trip from some town out in the middle of Nowhere (that is the literal name of the place) put it out 'somehow' and with common sense. Celelstia is dowsed with a bucket of water to snap her out of her funk, the kitchen, most of the cafeteria, the larder, and a long hallway with its paintings are all scorched so badly it looks like a dragon family reunion between family that hate each other took place in the palace. Due to a bit of misunderstanding and the cook wanting to cover her slightly-burned butt started a rumor that someone tried to kll the royals and hide the evidence with fire and it spirals out of control until the Celestia notes that recruitment for the royal guard has tripled over the last month via military fees paperwork and-
Sheesh, at this rate maybe I should just write it myself.

[Zero_Signature]

10458467
Send me a link when you're done.

[QueenChrysalisForever]

10458467
I am also eager to read this story!

A good start so far, fun and snarky just like my favorite changeling should be. ^.^

[Snow]

... Must... not... do omake... again!

[PonyDragon]

10460062

Nah, just kidding. Do whatever you feel to do.

For those scratching their heads right now:
Snow is (probably) referencing this story he wrote as an response to another story.

[Bookwurm666]

10460062
oh please do

[Pete100]

This seems interesting.

[Epicbattlefan]

10458467
Pls do that sounds great

[M4Tiger4014]

10460062

Do it! We want it! We neeed it!

[Black--Soul]

Chrysalis... Clever Mare...

[Direct Access]

I'm confused.

[link4]

10493928
the summary implies there are isekai implications. apply this to what you read in this chapter, and it makes sense.

isekai'd person as chryssi writing tia, isekai'd person clearly saw the show, and as such knows what threats are to come. and intends to o things differently than canon chryssi did them

[Onekingdom1]

Where it all began

[Asolem2]

I like it