Dear Princess Celestia,
I've eaten your second breakfast. I do hope you don't mind: just thinking about political bother makes me terribly peckish, and you could really use the diet. You could really use the diet. Have you seen yourself from behind recently? Whatever trick you're using to stay so shapely won't help much once you've expanded in scale so far that you can't fit through the doorframes anymore.
The more important matter: the political nobs you sent to that little rendezvous are worse than useless. One of them dared to say that I need declared titles before an exchange of titles can occur. Ridiculous! Do you realize how much bother that would be? My changelings are a nation of me, not a nation of laws, and all this legalist nonsense is strictly for the benefit of your little ponies. The talk about reciprocity in law was even greater nonsense. The changeling law is thus: 'Figure it out or I'll have to come over there and none of you will be happy.'
I'm certainly not going to deal with all this bother myself. If your ponies are so desperate for these formalisms, they'll be doing the work for me. I'll need to borrow them again, of course. Probably for a while, in fact, to judge by the sheer volume of noise that handful of ponies produced that I didn't care about at all.
I do hope you enjoyed the fireworks, by the by. I did take care not to set your guardsponies on fire for too long: they should merely need some thorough trims. I certainly wasn't going to let your ponies know the location of my Canterlot headquarters this early. Now, you may nitpick that I only had your would-be dignitaries taken to a rented event hall and not my headquarters at all, but it's in the principle of the thing.
Yours in strange cuisine,
Queen ChrysalisP.S. I'm serious about the diet. I've seen your doctors' notes.
Neat
I like her way of passive aggresive care :D
HAH!
My own headcanon on alicorn biology includes, in Celestia's section, a reference to "blood plasma" that goes on to include the gist of the link's implications. The cake is purely because she enjoys it, not because she necessarily needs food for sustenance.
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Mine is that she needed the immensive amount of sugar to lift the sun and moon for all those years, now a days it's a force of habit.
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Despite Chrysalis' comments, Celestia is not fat. However, she is huge compared to other ponies. So my head canon is that she just eats normal amounts for a pony her size... which is several times as much as everyone else. Also, she has a sweet tooth, so she probably eats more cake than she should but her eating giantess sized proportions makes it seem like her diet is more excessive than it really is.
Even if Celestia only averages 1.5 times bigger than a normal pony in every direction, that would lead to her massing more than 3 times as much and therefore needing more than 3 times the food.
You might ask why Chrysalis is teasing her about it, but too much cake still isn't good for you and she's probably a little self-conscious about how much she has to eat, compared to others, so it's an easy vulnerability to pick at.
I'm just imagining Celestia going through a particularly rough day, slowly getting more and more physically and emotionally exhausted, before going for her one daily pick-me / diet cheat, only to find one of these letters, and just slumping over like a puppet with its strings cut.
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You've put serious doubt in Twilight's head about if becoming either an immortal or a princess is really something that she would want...
You've prevented Celestia from tricking Twilight into accidentally becoming an alicorn without her prior consent by making her be especially careful around the elements, thereby probably forcing Celestia to actually ask if Twilight would want that...
You've revealed your plans through your personal journals and letters to rub it in Celly's face...
Where do you go from there? Seduction, obviously.
That sounds less like a dictator and more like a mom.
i.pinimg.com/originals/f9/63/34/f96334190515902658f709a92db7d1b8.jpg
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Fun fact! There was an episode of Teen Titans (the original, not the heretical reboot), where Raven was kinda sorta dating a talking book with a guy trapped inside, and Raven is also voiced by Tara Strong.
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I can see it
She'd just order to expand doorframes correspondingly
That sounds like a great way to rid of some ponies that Celestia doesn't like.
This is inspiring me to write a version of this story where Starlight sends letters to Twilight after the Our Town incident, threatening her with vengance that she totally has already planned, and is totally not just hiding in her castle and stealing her food to survive while trying to come up with something to get back at her.
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Yes. All of the yes.
"I've seen your doctors' notes" is an effective threat tbh.
I may be wrong but did she threaten Celestia?
Thank you for teaching me the word "cloche." Googling it also led me to this fun item,
Breville Pro Smoking Gun & Cloche
assets.wsimgs.com/wsimgs/ab/images/dp/wcm/202017/0042/img32o.jpg
Its a gun for smoking!
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Why not both?
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As if that didn’t happen already.
Hot damn... Chrysalis plays a hard bargin
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In a way, the entire changeling race is just one giant family
How nice of Chryssi to care about Celly's health