//------------------------------//
// The Sun: Creeping, Crawling Concerns 
// Story: Hold It Together 
// by OverUnderCookened 
//------------------------------//

The hatch that led into Lapis Print’s attic shuddered in its frame. It wiggled, jiggled, then suddenly swung open as-

Nikki popped through, bursting into the attic with a flurry of feathers. She flopped down onto it, panting for breath but grinning regardless.

She’d been trying to get into Lapis’ roof on her own for weeks. Her, and about a quarter of the birds in Ponyville, though most of the birds had given up on getting through the shingles once they’d realized the roof was made of metal.

Here’s hopin’ Tippy Taps the woodpecker gets outta Fluttershy’s soon. Poor guy. Nikki glanced up at the metal shingles again, and absently brushed a wing across her beak. It was only two days ago that she’d remembered that the attic had an access hatch, and only today that she’d finally pushed it wide enough to enter through.

Nikki’s frown grew into a scowl as she looked around Lapis’ attic, and began to question whether it’d been worth the trouble to break in - as places to hunker down for the winter went, this was definitely the economy option. There wasn’t any thatch or spare bedding to repurpose into a nest, the rafters were too narrow and metallic to build a nest on top of anyway, and there was a constant clattering, clinking noise coming from the spire of metal gizmos at the center of the room. Not to mention, the entire place was chock-full of glimmering spiderwebs.

Unfortunately, Nikki’s acquaintances were starting to run out of options. Somepony, she didn’t know who, was real keen on reporting roofing damages, and Lapis had gotten quick enough at thatch-patching that a few lazier pigeons had gotten trapped in attics as they slept.

Nikki had to look after her flock, and that meant finding them a place to set up shop until winter was over. And, as she took another look around Lapis’ attic, she had to admit the place had two advantages over its competition: first, it was big enough to house every pigeon in Ponyville, and second, it was available. Not perfect, not by a long way, but it would do.

Now she just had to figure out whether Lapis would be okay with loaning his attic out to every single pigeon in Ponyville-

Nikki felt a faint tickling sensation at the back of her neck, and reflexively brushed a wing over the top of her head. To her surprise, her flight feathers bent like they’d collided with something, slapping it off to the side. She startled, flying up to one of the rafters and glancing back to where she’d been sitting, to find…

Nothing?

Nikki grimaced. Yeesh, this place gives me the creeps. Better clear it out quick, ‘fore I change my mind about holing up here.





Lapis stared down at the stack of toilet paper rolls sitting atop the lid of his toilet. Not for the first time, he wished that it hadn’t come to this.

Slowly, he levitated the first roll off the lid of the toilet, unrolled it a little, then began to wrap it around his back left leg. Little by little, loop by loop, he worked his way up his leg, wrapped once around… Did ponies think of it as a waist, or did they just consider it a part of their torso?

Whatever the case, Lapis wrapped the toilet paper once around his body before he began to spiral his way down his other back leg. By the time he’d finished, the roll was halfway gone. Just enough to do my front legs, I think.

The most ironic thing about being a toilet-paper mummy for Halloween was that, despite being the low-effort, last-ditch option in theory, it actually took a bit more effort than a store-bought costume. You couldn’t just step into a jumpsuit, zip up a zipper, and put on a mask - no, you had to figure out how to actually roll the toilet paper around your body. If you got it too loose, then your ‘bandages’ would just fall off. Or, if you got it too tight, it would tear as soon as you stretched. Both options would result in the costume falling off, and then you’d just be some normal guy standing in a pile of toilet paper.

This was the first year that Lapis had to worry about being just some normal pony standing in a pile of toilet paper, but it wasn’t his first year being a toilet-paper mummy. Even as a pony, it took two layers. I guess some things never change.

Lapis briefly checked his work in the mirror, then nodded. “Okay,” he muttered, bracing himself up on his bathroom sink and staring at his reflection. “Now, remember,” he began, but he trailed off.

There was a pony in the mirror. There always was. And yet, as Lapis stared at the unicorn opposite himself, swathed head-to-hoof in sheets of toilet paper and staring back with brown eyes that were far too wide, he suddenly realized that he hadn’t looked in the mirror very often since he’d come to Ponyville.

Lapis shook his head, then glared at his reflection, trying to put the impending identity crisis out of his mind. “There is no such thing as Halloween,” he recited.

Lapis’ reflection glared stubbornly back at him.

“I am celebrating Nightmare Night. There is no such thing,” Lapis repeated, “as Halloween-”

The sheet of toilet paper that was draped across Lapis’ muzzle fell off, and he levitated it back into place, tucking it back under the strip below his eyes. It fell back out at once, and Lapis groaned, then began to unwind the toilet paper that was around his head, being careful not to let it catch on his horn.

…Huh. Wait a second. Lapis concentrated, then stared at his reflection in the mirror again, doing his best to ignore how unfamiliar the face he’d just revealed was as he carefully wrapped it back up. He was left with the end of the strip, which he carefully threaded through the strips on the top of his head, then speared on the tip of his horn.

“Yep,” Lapis muttered, checking his work in the mirror. “I look stupid.” He quickly tucked the loose end of the strip under the bandages, then met his own eyes again. “Okay. One more time: There’s no such thing as Halloween. I’m celebrating Nightmare Night, just like I always have. Ready?”

Lapis watched his own stare waver, then he looked down into the sink for a second, chuckling. “Nope. Here we go.” 

He took a deep breath, then pushed open the door and stepped into the rest of his house.


Luckily, it wasn’t quite Nightmare Night yet. The sun was just beginning to set, casting a pumpkin-orange glow over the rooftops of Ponyville and through the massive window of Lapis’ storefront. It was a little warmer than Lapis was used to for the end of October; he was used to watching his breath turn into fog even before it got past his mask. But, if everypony else’s costumes were anything to judge by, the cold wasn’t typically a Nightmare-Night concern.

Either that, or they’re all just used to having fur coats, Lapis thought, as he pushed open his door, slung his saddlebags across his back, and stepped out onto the street.

Lapis had decorated his shop, just a little. There was a pair of freshly-carved jack-o’-lanterns stationed at either side of his door, candles already flickering away behind their buck-toothed grins and googly eyes. Around Lapis’ window, several splintery pieces of scrap wood had been cobbled together into a frame, so that - from outside - his shop looked vaguely like a glowing mouth filled with pointy, jagged teeth. The spiderwebs-

Lapis paused, frowning. Spiderwebs? I didn’t get any spiderwebs. But, well, there they were, filling up the corners of Lapis’ eaves and hanging down from the windowsill - wide, glimmering spiderwebs, without a single spider to be seen. They looked real, if a little shinier than usual, and they definitely contributed to the decorations.

You know what? Lapis thought, grinning. Sure, I’ll take it. He turned away and started down the street toward Town Hall, taking in the rest of the town’s decorations as he went.

To his surprise, most of Ponyville didn’t seem keen on making their houses look creepy. If anything, they were just enjoying the chance to use a darker color palate - Lapis hadn’t seen this much purple, green, and black in one place for a while, but the banners and streamers that had already been hung used little else. Still, he could see a couple of recurring symbols. The biggest one seemed to be a side-profile of a unicorn’s head, with a slit-pupiled eye at its center. Probably Nightmare Moon… and, well, I guess she was pretty terrifying, but now that I’m writing to Princess Luna every so often, I just can’t see it as much.

Even the costumes seemed to avoid being scary. Most ponies weren’t in costume yet, but Lapis could see a pirate, a racecar driver, and Pinkie Pie dressed as a chicken-

Lapis felt himself tense, stopping in his tracks as his head turned toward the nearest alleyway. He took a deep breath, forced himself to relax, and continued trotting toward Town Hall as Pinkie Pie casually rounded a corner and vanished from view, bobbing her head back and forth as she went.

-Anyway, even with the chance to be in-costume, Lapis had yet to see anypony who was genuinely frightening. …On purpose. Maybe Nightmare Night wasn’t as much about the spooky side of life as Halloween was?

Guess I’ll find out. Lapis climbed the steps outside Town Hall, then pulled open the door and stepped inside.


Town Hall was basically empty, save for a few ponies who were busy hanging some paper skull lanterns (it was difficult to say for sure, but by the size of the eye-holes, Lapis judged the lanterns to be modeled after pony skulls). Besides them, it was just Lapis and Mayor Mare. She was standing beside an array of mirrors, trying to position a poofy, multi-colored clown wig atop her head with one hoof, mumbling under her breath as it slid back and forth. “-Oh… Really? I’m not asking for a miracle or anything, just- Oh! Lapis, is that you?”

“Sure is,” Lapis said, as the Mayor turned to face him. “Hey, I figured I should drop by before the festivities get into full swing, check whether there’s anything special you want me to look out for.”

Mayor Mare frowned, tapping her hoof to her chin. “Oh? Well, I’m glad you’re thinking ahead…” 

Maybe Lapis just didn’t like clowns, but the Mayor’s costume was the second-closest thing to ‘scary’ he’d seen all day. She’d done a little bit of the makeup, applying some white triangles above her eyes and framing her mouth with red, but most of her costume was accomplished via clothing - she had a blue shirt with white ruffles, oversized red shoes, an enormous orange-and-yellow bow tie, and a round, bright red nose. 

“…Not tonight, no,” Mayor Mare eventually said. “Just a ripped banner or two, really - it’s only Nightmare Night, after all!”

Mayor Mare’s face darkened. “Now, when we get to Hearth’s Warming Eve… well, that’ll be another story, but never mind that for now. How are you, Lapis? I’d heard you had an episode just before the Princess’ last visit.”

Lapis shook his head. “Uh, actually, not so much. Good thing, too - Cascades suck. Nah, I just made a bad decision trying to stop the doll, and scored a nasty case of mana-burn out of it. Don’t worry, though, I got better pretty quick.”

“Well, that’s good to hear,” Mayor Mare said, smiling. “That you’re better, I mean. Keeping this town running is a tough job to put on anypony’s shoulders, and you’d be amazed how much weight you’ve been keeping off mine. Which reminds me, actually, how’s bird season been treating you?”

Lapis cocked an eyebrow. “Bird season-? Oh, is that why I’ve been fixing so much thatch lately?”

Mayor Mare nodded, chuckling. “It happens every year. Most birds are fine with flying south for the winter, but there’s always exceptions. And, well, most ponies don’t go up in their attics very often.”

“So the birds try to nest there,” Lapis said, nodding as the recent repairs finally made sense. “Huh. Well, that explains a lot. Although, now that I think about it, most of the notices I’ve been getting about thatch have been written by the same pony.”

“Have they?” Mayor Mare asked, her eyes widening in surprise.

Lapis nodded. “Their hoofwriting could be better, whoever they are, but at least they’re letting me know about the roofwork. You don’t know who might be writing all those notices, do you?”

“Not a clue, I’m afraid,” Mayor Mare said. “If they’re so well-informed about the rooftops, then I expect they’re a pegasus, but that’s really just a hunch-” Her wig fell off, bouncing a little against the floor. “-Oop! Oh, not again. The darn thing just won’t stay put!”

“I got it,” Lapis said, levitating the wig off the ground and rotating it in the air above Mayor Mare’s head. “Hey, hang on, there’s a couple of slots in there. You think they’re for your ears?”

Mayor Mare’s eyes widened, then she chuckled. “Oh. Well, I don’t know how I missed those, but yes.” She reached up, plucking the wig from the air and slotting it into place atop her head. “And… perfect! But anyway, yes, what I said about your mystery pony being a pegasus is really just a hunch, so I certainly wouldn’t count on it.”

“Gotcha,” Lapis said, and then something in his saddlebag buzzed. Wait, what? …Oh, Luna’s book must be in there. Did she just write to me about something? 

“Anyway, I was going to go check up with Lyra and Bon Bon, next,” Lapis said, glancing back toward the door. “Was there anything you needed, Mayor Mare?”

“You’ll find out soon enough,” Mayor Mare intoned, adopting a grin which would have been menacing, if not for the laugh-lines around her eyes. “Mua-ha-ha-h-” She burst into a brief coughing fit, then cleared her throat. “Hm. Well, I suppose that’s why we rehearse before a performance. At any rate, no, nothing for now. Happy Nightmare Night, Lapis!”

“You too,” Lapis said, grinning as he turned and left Town Hall.


As soon as Lapis was outside, he started for the nearest alley, checking the skies for any airborne observers as he went. Rainbow Dash was a few hundred feet out, wearing some kind of black-and-yellow jumpsuit as she slowly pushed a small, nearly-black thundercloud toward Ponyville airspace - luckily, she was facing the other way.

Lapis ducked out of sight, put a rain-barrel between himself and the street, then opened Luna’s book and started flipping to the most recent page. 

Luna’s newest message didn’t take long to find - scribed across the top of the first blank page were the words, Art thou terribly preoccupied?

Not so much, Lapis wrote. Just getting ready for Nightmare Night. You?





“Nightmare Night?” Luna asked, her brow creasing. “Hm.” Perhaps ponies have begun facing their own fears in our absence?

Luna wasn’t sure whether the thought was a pleasant surprise, or a disturbing one. It would be a relief to know that ponies had helped each other with nightmares during the past thousand years. That would free her of at least some guilt, were it true.

However, Equestria seemed to have become quite peaceable in her absence. Aside from dreamwalking, moving the moon, and serving as her sister’s office assistant, Luna presently had very few duties indeed. If all Luna’s roles had become outdated, if any suitably competent accountant could serve in the stead of the Princess of the Night… well, then Luna wasn’t sure what she’d do.

Luna shook her head, clearing it of those thoughts, then returned her quill to the page. We meant to inform thee further concerning the Gala, she wrote, but tell us first of this ‘Nightmare Night.’





Lapis blinked, then frowned. Then, his eyes shot wide open.

“Oh,” he muttered. “Well, shit.”





It took several seconds before Lapis started writing his response. Nightmare Night’s a celebration of everything spooky. Ponies dress up in costumes and carve faces in pumpkins, foals and fillies go door-to-door demanding candy, and there’s games and festival food. Pretty great holiday, I almost prefer it over Hearth’s Warming Eve.

“Ah,” Luna said, and she felt her wings relaxing a little. It must be excellent indeed, then, she wrote. Perhaps we ought to join the festivities?

Lapis’ next few words were written slowly and deliberately. That may not be a good plan.

Luna frowned. For what reason?

Maybe ask Princess Celestia about that one. I’m not the right pony to tell you.

Luna’s brow furrowed as she processed the implications of that sentence, and she found herself taking a slow, deep breath.

This holiday, she wrote. It celebrates that which frightens, does it not?

Yes, but-

And we are celebrated, we take it?

-but, they aren’t taking it that seriously. Sure, the holiday is named after the thing that possessed you-

Luna felt the world drop away from beneath her hooves. Lapis, oblivious to this, continued writing.

-but today isn’t Hate-Princess-Luna day or anything. There’s a lot of scary stories that get told tonight. You know, about ghosts, or maybe Dr. Frankenstallion-

Luna set her quill to the page again. Thou art in Ponyville?

Yeah, they’re getting everything set up right now-

Prepare for our arrival.

Luna snapped the book shut, set it upon her nightstand, then turned toward the balcony of her tower bedroom. She levitated a traveling cloak from the wardrobe by her bed, straightening her regalia as she looked out from her balcony.

From Canterlot, Luna could just make out the dark patch of Ponyville on the horizon. Flying there herself would surely be fastest, but it would likely disturb her mane and coat, and she would need to look her very best for what was to come.

Because Luna refused to be any pony’s scary story. No longer was she a monster lurking in the shadows, and no longer would she stand to be known as such. It was time to remind Ponyville that they had two princesses.

“We are going to have words after tonight, Celestia,” Luna muttered. She turned back from the balcony, strode to the door of her bedroom, and assumed the position: head back, chin up, legs straight, wings spread. 

“Do, re, mi, fa, so, la, ti, do,” she muttered.

Then, she summoned her magic and pushed open the door. The thestral guard standing outside turned to glance in her direction, his slit-pupiled eyes meeting her own without flinching.

“PREPARE OUR CHARIOT,” said Princess Luna, and the stones of the palace shook with her voice as she strode forth.





“…Damn it,” Lapis muttered. He grimaced, then stuffed the book back into his saddlebags, glancing at the sky. It was getting close to sunset now, but it wouldn’t be night for a while yet - and hopefully, Luna wouldn’t arrive before then.

Lapis started trotting toward Bon Bon’s shop, continuing to scan the sky as he wracked his brains for any relevant memories. He got something about Twilight dressed as a wizard, but that was it. Well, at least I know this part’s supposed to happen, even if I don’t know whether I’m supposed to be the reason it happens.

Still, I was really hoping Mayor Mare would be right about today being an easy day.



“Oh, hey Lapis!” Lyra said, as Lapis drew up alongside Bon Bon’s candy shop. The sun had very nearly finished setting now, and the Ponyville sky was turning a deep, vibrant shade of glittering purple. “Nice costume!”

“Thanks, you too,” Lapis said, glancing at the frilly, baby-blue bonnet perched atop Lyra’s head. “Uh, pioneer, right?”

“I honestly have no idea,” Lyra said, giggling as she adjusted the bonnet. “I think I stole this from my great-grandma when I was a filly, and it’s just been kinda sitting in my dresser ever since. …Hey, what’s up? Your ears are doing that thing again.”

Lapis stopped in his tracks, trying and failing to look up at his own ears. “…Uh, what? What ‘thing?’”

“Y’know, the whole trying-to-hear-everything-at-once thing,” Lyra said, and as she spoke, her ears started swiveling and rotating in place atop her head like a pair of pointy satellite dishes. “…Uh-oh. There isn’t prophecy stuff happening, right?”

“Not sure yet,” Lapis muttered, quickly looking around. “Tell you inside, c’mon.”

They ducked through the door just in time for Bon Bon to emerge from the kitchen, wearing an enormous tube of plastic wrap around her torso - it had been twisted shut at the front and back of her body, so that in profile she looked a lot like a wrapped piece of taffy. “Never… doing this… again,” she was muttering, taking slow, exaggerated steps around the store, the plastic wrap creaking as it shifted across her torso. “Doesn’t… breathe at all. Hey, Lyra, you wanna help me punch some air-holes in this thing? Hello, Lapis.”

“Hey, Bon Bon,” Lapis said.

“In a second,” Lyra said. “I think Lapis has prophecy stuff going on again.”

Bon Bon cocked an eyebrow. “Oh, goody. What’s going on?”

“Luna’s visiting tonight,” Lapis said.

“Oh, goody,” Bon Bon repeated.

“Uh-oh,” Lyra said, at exactly the same time. “Okay, so is it an Equestria’s-in-danger visit, or what?”

“I think it’s more casual,” Lapis said, raising one hoof in a half-shrug, “but I’m really not sure. She just asked me what I was doing, I said I was getting ready for Nightmare Night, and then she asked me to explain what Nightmare Night was.”

“She didn’t know?” Lyra said, her eyes growing wide.

“I tried to break it to her gently,” Lapis said, wincing. “But, well… yeah, she’s visiting Ponyville tonight.”

Bon Bon nodded slowly, then groaned under her breath, facehoofing. “This won’t be good. Why was she even writing to you, anyway? Does she just check on you every so often?”

“Nope,” Lapis said, firmly shaking his head. “She was going to explain something about my tutorship. Which reminds me, apparently the deadline for me to make a decision is somewhere around the end of February.”

“Hey, wait a second,” Bon Bon said, holding up a hoof. “Did she at least explain why your deadline is the end of February?”

Lapis opened his mouth, the words ‘no idea’ halfway up his throat, and then he remembered sitting by the campfire with the two of them. You know what? No. No more lies, not to Bon Bon and Lyra. Whatever I come up with would honestly just get in the way at this point.

“…Because that’s when the Grand Galloping Gala happens,” he admitted.

Lyra’s eyes widened, and Bon Bon blinked. “So, Princess Celestia wants to make sure the Gala is off her plate first, or…”

Lapis grimaced, then telekinetically reached into his saddlebag, gripping the strip of gold foil tucked between the pages of Luna’s book and levitating it into the light. “I was, uh, kind of invited.”

Bon Bon’s eyebrows shot up, and Lyra’s jaw dropped. …And they’re freaking out. Okay, maybe if I act like this is normal, it’ll help them calm down? 

Lapis grinned awkwardly, then tucked the ticket back into the book. “So, uh, I have no idea where to buy formal wear, but it’s got to be a necessity, right?”

“Oh, gosh,” Lyra breathed. “Oh gosh, oh gosh ohgosh…”

“Lapis,” Bon Bon said, slowly and calmly. “Which Princess sent you that ticket?”

“Uh,” Lapis said, glancing back and forth between the two ponies. “Luna did, but she said that it was Celestia’s idea. …Why, is there something I should know?”

“Okay. Alright. Alrighty,” Lyra continued, beginning to hyperventilate as a wild grin spread across her face.

“Well,” Bon Bon said, shooting Lyra a look (which Lyra didn’t seem to notice, as she was more focused on trying to breathe normally). “Princess Celestia is officially the pony in charge of sending out round one of invitations. She basically established the Gala as an excuse to check on everypony on her contacts list. So, if you’d gotten that ticket during the summer, then it would just mean she wanted you there, which is… a big deal, but a professional big deal.”

Lyra began a giggling fit as Lapis felt a tingle of dread building in his gut, Bon Bon sparing another second to glare at Lyra before continuing to speak. “…Round two of tickets happens anytime after round one, and those tickets are basically just everypony who got a plus-one figuring out who their plus-one is going to be.”

“So you think I got a plus-one ticket?” Lapis asked, cocking an eyebrow. “Okay, what’s the big deal?”

Lyra tried, and failed, to stifle another giggling fit. Bon Bon didn’t spare her a glance this time, instead closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, a weary grin tugging at the corners of her mouth.

“Well,” Bon Bon eventually said, “it could mean the same thing as if Princess Celestia sent it. Princess Luna’s station is the same as hers, so Princess Celestia probably just wanted to set some expectations. To show the rest of Canterlot that Princess Luna could have an equal hoof in choosing who attends the Gala.”

“…Or?” Lapis asked. Lyra had finally managed to silence herself, and was now watching the conversation with rapt attention, glancing between Bon Bon and Lapis like they were having a tennis match.

“Or,” Bon Bon said, slowly and calmly, “you’re Princess Luna’s plus-one. And being somepony’s plus-one to the Gala has a certain… historical context to it. It’s handy for introducing an up-and-coming associate to the rest of the aristocracy, which somepony might want to do for any number of reasons. And one of those reasons, the reason why Lyra is overreacting, is courtship.”

Lapis felt his eyes widen, his ears flopping back atop his head.

“Okay, so, sure, she’s not a griffon,” Lyra said, gesturing with a hoof. “But, she is kind of a princess, so that’s gotta count for something, right? Plus, she’s got wings!”

“Uh,” Lapis said.

“…Lyra, would you like a glass of water,” Bon Bon said, as Lyra opened her mouth again.

“Right. Right, sorry,” Lyra said, taking a deep breath, a grin still plastered to her face. “I’ll just… okay, I know I’m freaking out, I’m sorry, but this is just- this is every Mane Austen book I’ve ever read! Lapis, a princess invited you to the Grand Galloping Gala! How are you two not freaking out?!”

“Yeah, I’m definitely freaking out,” Lapis said, shaking his head. “I’m just keeping it inside my head for now. Uh, Bon Bon? You don’t really think Princess Luna is… uh, interested, do you?”

“Probably not,” Bon Bon said, and Lapis heaved a sigh of relief.

“But it’s not impossible,” she added, and Lapis grimaced. “I don’t know anypony else who can write to her except maybe Twilight, and you did say that Princess Luna made a habit of showing up in your dreams.”

“Great,” Lapis said. “Okay, so, what does that mean for tonight?”

Lyra shrugged. “I guess it means you should get ready? I mean, that’s what she asked you to do, right?”

“Okay, sure. How?” Lapis gestured to his body. “Do I need to find something to wear that’s more formal than toilet paper, or what?”

Bon Bon shook her head. “No, keep your costume. And if there was anything you wanted to do, maybe wrap that up.”

Lyra glanced between Bon Bon and Lapis’ costumes, then giggled. “Oh, I wouldn’t worry about wrapping stuff up - between the two of you, I think you’ve got everything covered!”

Lapis frowned, confused. “Wh-”

Bon Bon cut him off with a groan, the plastic wrap around her shoulders squeaking as she rubbed the bridge of her nose with a hoof. “Lyra…”

“Sorry, I had to,” Lyra said, grinning and trotting back behind the desk. “Hang on, I gotta get a hole punch for Bon Bon- whoa. Uh, hey, Lapis, are you feeling okay?”

“I’ve been better, but yeah, no major health concerns,” Lapis said, glancing over in her direction. “What’s up?”

“Well, I don’t wanna pry or anything, but, uh,” Lyra said, wincing. “…The junk drawer just organized itself.”

Bon Bon’s eyebrows shot up, and Lapis facehoofed, feeling his ears flopping back atop his head as Lyra continued speaking. “So, like, if you don’t wanna talk about it, I’m not gonna push, but I’ll totally listen if there’s something you need to say!”

“Sorry,” Lapis said groaning under his breath. “I thought I’d gotten that under- yeah, my bad. I just really wished I had a plan, besides hoping I remember something that could help.”

“No worries,” Lyra said, levitating the hole punch out from the drawer. “We can talk about it, right? Bon Bon, c’mere real quick.”

“For what it’s worth, I’m almost positive Her Highness doesn’t have romantic intentions,” Bon Bon said, walking over to stand beside Lyra. “…But I’d definitely wonder whether she’s going to be your tutor.”

“I don’t know,” Lyra said, carefully worming the hole punch under Bon Bon’s costume, Bon Bon wincing as the tool dug into her side. “Tutorship under a Princess kinda… well, you’ve gotta be somepony really special. I only heard about this from some student gossip, but didn’t Twilight have, like, some kinda big thing that got Princess Celestia’s attention?”

“She did,” Bon Bon confirmed. “She was just taking her entrance exams, and managed to hatch a dragon egg. That’s where her assistant, Spike, came from. -Ow, Lyra, that’s my coat!”

“Oops,” Lyra said, her ears folding back as she smiled. “Sorry, BB - oh, shoot, the hole punch got stuck. Uh, Lapis, could you come over here and help me get this thing out really quick?”





Nikki had decided that, before anything else, all the spiderwebs in Lapis’ attic had to go. 

Right now, there were enough spiderwebs in the attic that she was half-afraid to try flying through the room. They criss-crossed through the air in the dusty space, their glimmering strands shattering the attic into an angular mosaic of dark wood and dully-gleaming copper. Luckily, she had yet to see any spiders - though, occasionally, she would feel a tickle on the back of her wings or atop her feet that sent her startling into the air for a few wingbeats. Probably just her imagination, but she was still unsettled.

She had been strutting up and down the length of the attic, sweeping her wings through one stripe of glimmering, silken strands at a time. This was proving to be more and more unpleasant as Nikki continued, however - at the end of every stripe, she had to stop and spend several minutes clearing the webbing off her wings with her beak. And every single time she did, even though it was just her imagination, Nikki kept feeling as if the loose ends brushing up against her face were spiders crawling all over herself.

Nikki was working her way down the fourth stripe of the attic now, and the buildup of web in her flight feathers was nearly too much to bear. She longed to get out of the attic, find a bird-bath somewhere, and spend the rest of the night washing herself clean of the persistent tickling sensation that had now spread from her wings and onto her back. She wondered vaguely if this was how a fly must feel, when it was all wrapped up and ready to be eaten - if spiders tickled, before they bit.

It was then that Nikki felt a set of tiny, light, and unmistakably real legs, gingerly tapping their way up the back of her neck.

Homing pigeons are surprisingly fast animals, which is part of the reason they were historically used to carry messages. Over distances of around 600 miles (~160.9 km), they can maintain an average speed of 60 miles per hour (~96.7 kmh), with top racers reaching 100 miles per hour (~160.9 kmh) in shorter flights.

Nikki was not a top racing pigeon. She nonetheless achieved a very respectable 82 miles per hour (~132 kmh) as she took off for the hatch that led out of the attic, fleeing the building as fast as her wings could carry her. The legs atopher head only managed to hold on for a second or two before being swept off in the wind, landing atop Lapis’ doorstep with a dull, hard smack.

Back in the attic, a single glimmering strand of silk began to extend from one of the rafters, extruding from empty air until it reached the attic floor - there, it fastened itself in place, swaying in the wake of Nikki’s panicked departure. And slowly, a whisper-quiet rustle filled the attic space: the stuttering, hesitant crawl of dozens, and dozens, and dozens of tiny, invisible feet.





Half an hour later, Lapis and Bon Bon were making their way down Nutmeg Way toward Lapis’ house. The moon had risen, and Bon Bon was walking awkwardly - Lyra’s hole punch was still stuck in the plastic wrap, as was a pair of scissors, a butter knife, a chef’s knife, and an umbrella.

“I am never,” Bon Bon muttered, “never, ever going to use plastic-wrap for anything, ever again.” With every step Bon Bon took, her costume creaked around her joints; one of her ears was twitching in time with every creak.

“Are you kidding?” Lapis said, cocking an eyebrow. “This stuff’s stood up to just about everything in your kitchen, Bon Bon. I might need to figure out who made this plastic wrap, so I can start buying from them.”

“Uh-huh,” Bon Bon said. “You think Lyra will be able to find a better costume before Nightmare Night is over?”

“Probably,” Lapis said. “Worst-case scenario, I teach you how to be a toilet-paper mummy.”

“Great. Can we hurry it up a little?” Bon Bon said, wincing as she stopped to rotate one of her shoulders, the plastic wrap squeaking like balloons rubbing together. “It’s starting to get kinda sticky in here.”

Lapis winced. “Don’t worry about it. My new set of gem-cutting tools arrived a couple days ago. Any knife that can put a dent in diamonds should go through that plastic wrap like butter.”

They turned right, approaching Lapis’ front door, and Bon Bon cocked an eyebrow at the spiderwebs. “Huh. Where’d you get the webs?”

Lapis cocked an eyebrow. “The what?”

“The spiderwebs,” Bon Bon said, gesturing to the glimmering webbing on Lapis’ awning. “You know, for the decor- what happened to your windows?!”

“Decorating,” Lapis said, pulling open the door and stepping into his house. “I was kinda trying to make the windows look like they had teeth. I didn’t do the spiderwebs, though - as far as I can tell, they just showed up there this morning.”

“Uh-huh,” Bon Bon said, casting a wary glance up and down the webs as she followed Lapis inside. “You should probably sweep your porch more often, Lapis.”

“Yeah, probably,” Lapis agreed, pulling open the closet door. “Be right back, hang on.”

Lapis shut the closet door, then hurried down into the basement. His new set of gemcutting tools was spread out across the workbench, the single-edged blades glimmering in the lanternlight of the room. Lapis levitated one of the smaller knives over to his side, then paused, glancing at the spot on his workbench where Nikki would usually sit.

Haven’t seen her all day, Lapis realized. Huh. Hope she’s doing alright. As an afterthought, Lapis snatched up one of the longer, thinner pieces of scrap wood before going back upstairs.

When Lapis re-emerged into his living room, he found Bon Bon preoccupied with trying to pull the umbrella free of the plastic wrap. As far as Lapis could tell, Bon Bon’s costume had barely even stretched yet.

“Okay,” Bon Bon panted, “at this point, I’m starting to wonder if this is even plastic wrap. …What’s the shim for?”

“It goes between you, and the knife that can cut diamonds,” Lapis said, carefully beginning to wedge the board beneath the plastic wrap. “Alright, take a deep breath…”





Princess Luna had not ridden in a carriage in a very, very long time.

Part of her wanted to enjoy it. To bask in the wind rushing across her face and through her cloak, to look down on the view and smile without worrying about all the minute adjustments and careful timing required for flight. Luna hadn’t been able to fly on the moon; the air was too thin there, almost nonexistent. In the rare moments when her thoughts weren’t… elsewhere, she’d dearly missed flight.

However, now was no time to relax. Nor was it the time to dwell upon the monster she had been - rather, it would soon be time to overcome that monster. To prove to the ponies who still feared it that they no longer had any need to fear. To finally demonstrate, beyond the last shadow of a doubt, that Luna was not the terror of their nightmares any longer - that, rather, she was but a Princess of Equestria.

The carriage flew over top of a forest, and they came into view of Ponyville for the first time. Luna looked down on the village, and blinked in surprise - she hadn’t noticed, when she’d visited as the Nightmare, but Ponyville was more sizable than she’d expected. Its glimmering sprawl of colorful banners and flickering lanterns covered more land than two of every three settlements that Luna remembered from her own time. 

If Celestia calls this but a village, than ponies have grown much in our absence, Princess Luna thought - then, lightning flashed as she grinned. Now, wait a moment- Ha! This is no village at all, but a full town! Sly as ever, sister. Forgive us for borrowing thy humor, but we must somehow make clear that we do not take ourselves too seriously.

Though, we must trust that the townsfolk will see your jest for what it is, sooner than we did. ‘Twould be humiliating if we led the citizens of Ponyville to believe their fine town is too small for our standards…

Princess Luna considered the thought as her chariot made a banking turn, beginning to line up with the large street near the center of Ponyville. …Nay, we shall make the jest regardless. If we are to show ourselves recovered, then we must take the risk of some small levity.





Within a few minutes, Lapis grinned, twirled the gem-cutting knife midair, then set it off to the side. “…Done. Alright, Bon Bon, how you feeling?”

“Much better,” Bon Bon said, kicking the last of the plastic wrap off her hooves. “…So, about how long ago did those spiderwebs-”

Bon Bon was cut off by a crack of lightning outside. She and Lapis both flinched, glancing out the window - then, scratchy-voiced laughter began to echo over from somewhere in the distance, and Bon Bon groaned. “Rainbow Dash. Her and her pranks, I swear.”

Lapis nodded as if he understood how Rainbow Dash was involved with lightning, then cleared his throat. “So, uh, really quick. Do you honestly have any idea who my tutor might really be? Like, how sure are you that it’ll actually be Princess Luna, instead of somepony who isn’t already trying to manage an entire kingdom?”

Bon Bon snorted, then smirked as she sat back on the floor, her ears pricked forward. “Honestly, in most situations, the odds would be next to zero. Princess Luna already has a lot on her plate, between picking up her dream-keeping duties and adjusting to modern Equestria. You’ll probably be assigned to somepony with a lower profile - a promising grad student, or maybe a retired professor.”

Lapis nodded - but as much as he wanted to be relieved, there was something about Bon Bon’s phrasing that was nagging at him. “…In most situations?”

Bon Bon’s smirk faded, and she eventually let out a sigh. “Listen, being somepony’s plus-one… there’s a lot of reasons it can happen. Especially considering that we’re talking about Princess Luna here. Princess Celestia always invites a plus-one to the Gala, usually as a reward for ponies in government who’ve been going above and beyond their job. Since Princess Luna’s only just returned, my guess is that she’s inviting a plus-one of her own as a reminder: to help everypony realize that she’s on equal standing with Princess Celestia. It doesn’t mean that she’s going to be your tutor, or that she’s interested in courting you - it just means that you’re the only other pony she knows, besides Princess Celestia.”

Bon Bon cocked her head to the side, then smirked again. “That, and Lyra’s just read too many court romance novels. Just ignore her, alright? It’ll be fine-”

Another crack of lightning shook Lapis’ shop, sending dust hissing through the floorboards. Lapis thought he felt something land atop his head, but saw nothing when he looked up.

Bon Bon groaned. “I swear to Celestia, the next time I see Rainbow Dash…”

“Wait,” Lapis said, frowning. “You hear that wind?”

Bon Bon glanced at him, then turned her head toward the door. The wind was howling beneath it, filling the house with an eerie whistling. Outside, the banners and lanters were rippling and rattling, nearly torn from their strings, and lightning was still flashing outside.

Then, from near the center of town, an accented voice spoke with enough volume to rattle Lapis’ window in its frame.

“CITIZENS OF PONYVILLE!”

Lapis winced, covering his ears with one hoof, then frowned as he recognized the voice. Bon Bon looked over at him, her ears tucked back even as she cocked an eyebrow. “Hey,” she began, “you think that’s-”

“WE HAVE GRACED YOUR TINY VILLAGE WITH OUR PRESENCE, SO THAT YOU MIGHT BEHOLD THE REAL PRINCESS OF THE NIGHT!” the voice added, and Bon Bon’s ears flattened themselves against the back of her head at the noise.

“-Luna?” Bon Bon finished.

“A CREATURE OF NIGHTMARES NO LONGER…”

Lapis winced again. “Yeah, I think it might be.”

Bon Bon stood up, starting for the door. “Well then, we’d better- AAAH!”

Suddenly, Bon Bon reared and fell on her rump. She scrambled back from the door, frantically swiping her front right hoof across the length of her front left leg. “Getitoffme, get it off!”

Lapis froze by her side, trying to see what was on her leg. “What? Get what off, what is it?!”

“SPIDER! GET IT!” Bon Bon screamed, and pointed with her hoof to an empty region of Lapis’ floor.

“…There’s not a spider there,” Lapis said, frowning and cocking an eyebrow. “Bon Bon, I think it’s gone.”

Bon Bon’s eyes were nearly bulging from their sockets, and she was still staring at the spot on the floor. “Oh, no. No, it’s still there.”

Princess Luna’s voice echoed outside. Lapis cocked an eyebrow, glanced at the empty spot on the floor, then back at Bon Bon. “…So, this is going to seem like a weird question, but did you eat any mushrooms recently?”

“I know it sounds crazy. I’m not crazy!” Bon Bon said, her voice shaking as she stared at the spot on the floor, pointing to it with a hoof. “Just… stomp right there, please.”

“Alright,” Lapis said, walking over to the spot on the floor. He raised his hoof, brought it down-

And felt something crunch beneath his hoof.

Lapis felt his eyes widening, felt his ears flopping back atop his head. “…Uh, Bon Bon?”

“Three years ago,” Bon Bon said, her voice still trembling. “A student at the Royal Magic Academy wanted to see whether normal creatures, if enchanted, would pass their enchantments on to their offspring. That… student, picked a spider, and tried to enchant it to glow, but they got it wrong. Instead, they turned that spider invisible.”

Lapis raised his hoof, slowly and carefully peering underneath it. Ground into the floorboards was a dark smear, about two inches long.

“That student was right,” Bon Bon said, her voice haunted. “The spider laid eggs. And those eggs hatched into hundreds of invisible spiders. We- we thought we found them all, but-”

Bon Bon’s voice broke. “Lapis, I think we missed one.”

Lapis glanced at his own hoof, then looked back at Bon Bon. “Do you think it laid eggs?”

The look on Bon Bon’s face was nothing short of pure terror. “…You need to go to the library. You need to find a spell, a light spell, called Ghostly Gold Dust. And then, you need to come back here and spray down every, last, inch of this house. Until you’ve found all the spiders, and squished all of them.”

“…I’m getting you out of here first,” Lapis said, starting toward Bon Bon.

“NO!” Bon Bon screeched. She started to scramble backward again, but then froze in place. “No! No. I’m staying here.”

“What?” Lapis asked, incredulous. “Bon Bon, this is where we found the spider!”

“You think they’re just in your house?!” Bon Bon hissed, her ears flat against her head, her eyes bulging from their sockets. “Lapis, they have to be all over Ponyville by now! If I go out there, who knows how many I’ll run into, but as long as I stay still, then- then I’ll be able to pay attention. To notice, if any more of them try to climb on me. You go the library, you make sure it’s safe here, and then- then we’ll figure out what to do next.”

“Right,” Lapis said, taking a deep breath. “Okay. When I see Lyra, I’ll send her this way. You sure you’ll be alright in here?”

“No,” Bon Bon said, and then she swallowed and met Lapis’ gaze, locking a mask of determination over top of her obvious terror. “But go anyway. And please, please hurry.”

Lapis hesitated, then nodded and rushed out the door, turning toward the Golden Oak Library and setting off at a gallop.

In the distance, lightning crackled and ponies screamed. Lapis winced as he continued galloping. Yeah, tonight’s not a great night for invisible spiders. Luna, if you keep pulling shit like that, ponies are going to think you haven’t recover-

An image of Luna having a conversation with Twilight flashed through Lapis’ head, and he resisted the urge to facehoof as he approached an intersection. Right, now I remember which episode this is. Well, at least it’s not the fate of Equestria on my shoulders this time, plus I know Luna should be distracted for the night. - oop, I need to go straight here, gotta go around the Golden Oak.

Lapis started to correct his course away from the library - then stopped, rolling his eyes. …Wait, no, I’m going to the Golden Oak. Right. Lapis hung a left, then picked up planning again. Twilight should also be distracted, and Spike’s with her, so with any luck, I’ll have the whole library to myself. …I’m not just worrying about that out of habit, right? 

Lapis cocked his head, still glancing around. I still shouldn’t get in contact with the protagonists? -Yeah, no, still avoiding contact. They know I exist and that I’m a repair-pony, but I definitely don’t want them getting more involved than that, or else the risk of odd questions goes way up.

The Golden Oak came into view, and Lapis slowed to a trot, taking the chance to catch his breath as he looked around. Streets are still empty… I guess everypony’s sidetracked by Luna? I probably won’t run into Lyra, but hopefully that means I won’t run into any of the Element Bearers, either-

“MY GOODNESS!” a lightly-accented voice exclaimed. “Why, you poor thing! Whatever happened to your costume?!”

Lapis paused, then turned his head to see who was speaking. A pale unicorn mare wearing a royal-blue Victorian-styled gown and a black-and-white theater mask was trotting in his direction, staring at him with wide eyes. Uh-oh. Now’s really not the time for interruptions, Bon Bon’s in danger. I’ve got to end this conversation and get in the library, now.

“…This is it, ma’am,” Lapis said, cocking an eyebrow. Then, putting on his best customer-service voice and his most formal level stare, he unleashed the firmest dismissal in his arsenal: “Anything else I can help you with?”

“…Ah,” the mare said, glancing away and laughing nervously. “I’m terribly sorry about that, dear, I assure you I meant no-”

She paused, cocking her head. “-Wait a moment. Lapis? Lapis Print, is that you?”

Lapis frowned. Do I know this pony, or have they heard of me? Unicorn mare, white coat, curled purple mane and tail-

“Oh,” Lapis said. Oh no, he thought. “Uh, hey. It’s Rarity, right?”

“Lapis!” Rarity announced, and though Lapis couldn’t see anything but her eyes, he could hear the unicorn’s smile on her voice. “My deepest apologies, I had no idea! Your… costume was very, er…. Thorough.”

“Practice makes perfect,” Lapis said. I hope. Got to get rid of you, but I can’t prompt any follow-up… what do I do?!





‘Practice makes perfect,’ Lapis had said.

‘PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT.’

Rarity could think of very few words that might have stoked greater pity within her heart. Suffice to say, she was glad to be wearing a mask - the sight of her jaw hanging open would have been most unseemly. 

“You mean to say… you’ve worn this costume before?” Rarity was able to stammer, as she swept her gaze up and down the tissue wrapped around Lapis’ body. And, to her immediate horror, she began to pick up the details - the ‘bandages’ upon Lapis’ legs, torso, and neck, though severely disheveled, were wrapped around each other in a simple, bilateral criss-cross, supporting themselves with far too much systematic uniformity to be anything but practiced. 

Truth be told, it wasn’t the worst mummy costume Rarity had seen, even if it was in desperate need of repair. The design was sound enough, but the choice of material was all wrong. Granted, Rarity would not have been totally authentic herself - linen was no easy thing to come by - but even wool would have sufficed! Any proper fabric, rather than whatever textured, semi-translucent tissue-

Wait. That isn’t tissue.

“Uh, yeah?” Lapis said, shrugging with one hoof and glancing off to the side. “C’mon, everypony goes as a toilet-paper mummy at least once… Rarity?”

Toilet… paper…?

“Uh, Rarity. You alright over there?”

“Auh,” Rarity said, and then the ground rushed up to meet her.





“…What?” Lapis muttered, looking at the unconscious unicorn. “Rarity? Hey, you alright?”

He looked around - and, to his concern, nopony was around. Hopefully she wakes up soon - did I do something? Her gown - oh, shit, do I need to rip her corset?!

Wait. What am I thinking, why would ponies wear corsets? Lapis shook his head. She’s probably just… stayed up too late, or something.

Lapis turned and tried the library door - and, to his relief, it swung open easily. He started toward it, then paused, looking back at Rarity.

She was still out cold - still breathing, which was good, but definitely still out cold. Yeah, I can’t just leave her out here.

Grimacing, Lapis ignited his horn - then slowly, carefully, wrapped his telekinetic grip around Rarity, and began to lift. The strain hit him at once, he could feel his field trying to buckle against the pressure of the other unicorn. But as long as there were no sudden movements - and as long as his sudden headache didn’t get too much worse - he could hold it.

Lapis levitated Rarity into the Golden Oak ahead of himself, dragged over a seating cushion from beside a shelf, and set Rarity down atop it. He winced at his new headache, then shook his head and hurried over to the section about magic. There, he skimmed a few titles and snatched up the most well-used book that seemed related to light magic.

He glanced over at Rarity, making sure she was still asleep. Then, he frantically flipped to the back of the book, checking for an index. There was none, so he flipped back to the front and started scanning pages as quickly as he could, looking for any sign of the spell he needed. Ghostly Gold Dust, Ghostly Gold Dust… c’mon, where are you?!

Lapis turned another page and spotted the sentence, To make a spray of glimmering light from your horn, the incantation for Ghostly Gold Dust is as follows. He lunged for the counter, grabbed a sheet of paper and a quill, and hastily scribbled down the incantation. After making sure his copy was correct, he clapped the book shut-

“Wha-?”

Oops.





There was a snap, of heavy sheets of paper meeting each other, and Rarity lurched upright. “Wha-?”

For a few seconds, Rarity wasn’t sure where she was - but, as she looked around and blinked the shadows from the corners of her eyes, she recognized the familiar bookshelves and oil lanterns of Twilight’s library. She was lying on her side atop one of the reading cushions, and somepony wrapped in strips of white paper was in there with her - standing by the counter, tucking a furled scroll into his saddlebags, and levitating a battered yellow book toward the shelves about magic. 

Rarity stared at the pony for a moment, and then she remembered. “Oh! Lapis! Dreadfully sorry about that, I’ve been, ah, having these dizzy spells lately.” 

“I would say ‘don’t worry about it,’ but, uh,” Lapis said. He glanced past her toward the library door, then met her gaze again. “…you might wanna get that checked. You were out for a solid minute or so, there.”

Rarity felt her eyes widening. “…Ah. Perhaps I’d best take a stroll down to Ponyville General, then?”

“Maybe not right now,” Lapis said. He glanced at the doorway again, but stayed rooted to the floor by the library counter. Focused on the door, and on me. Hesitant to approach either. He wants to leave, but I’m in the way, noted the part of Rarity’s mind that was trying not to remember Lapis’ costume. 

“Not sure if you’ve heard, but Princess Luna’s showed up, and… she means well, but the town’s still freaking out a little,” Lapis said. “You might wanna stay put until it dies down.”

Rarity gasped. “Nightmare Moon!?” She clambered to her hooves - then, she staggered to the side, the room seeming to spin beneath her hooves.

“Whoa, you good?” Lapis said, from somewhere in the distance.

Rarity shook off the dizziness, then looked up to see that Lapis had started toward her, and was lowering a hoof back to the floor. Wide eyes, clearly paying close attention, still hesitant to approach. He’s concerned, but trying to conceal it. “Seriously, you just passed out,” he was saying. “You need to take it slow-”

“If Nightmare Moon’s returned, then I haven’t a moment to lose!” Rarity said, her mind already racing. “I need to find Twilight, and-”

“Not Nightmare Moon!” Lapis said, raising a hoof. Ear twitch toward the back of his head. Irritated, but trying to hide it. Is he irritated with himself, or me? “Princess Luna. She’s not possessed anymore, she’s just trying to re-introduce herself to society, set the record straight about… stuff. Twilight’s already working on it. You need to stay here and take it easy until tomorrow, and I-”

Lapis paused, his hoof drooping toward the floor. “Kind of… need to leave.” He glanced off to the side, his ears twitching again. “Uh. Urgent… uh, repair job. Getting worse every second I’m not working on it, so I need to get out of here for a while. Can I trust you to stay put and not make yourself pass out again?”

Obvious lie, genuine urgency. Struggling to come up with an excuse, desperate to follow through with it… but still insistent on my health. 

And then, everything clicked neatly into place. 

Rarity met the repair-pony’s wide, dark eyes, doing her best to sound slightly indignant. “Well, I expect I can manage for awhile, yes.”

“Alright,” Lapis said, igniting his horn and pushing open the library door. “Stay. I mean it. …And good luck.”

And then he was gone, out the door and down the road with a speed that almost matched that of a determined Pinkie Pie. The door swung itself closed soon afterward, with a sharp swiftness that nevertheless avoided slamming shut.

Rarity remained standing by the library door for a few moments, then settled herself down. Well, that was certainly thought-provoking. I had dismissed those dizzy spells as part of my artistic sensitivity, but perhaps I really should do something about them. And Lapis…

Out of habit, Rarity raised a hoof to her masked face, stifling a giggle that was already muffled. My goodness. All Pinkie’s effort and Twilight’s fuss, over a stallion who’s quite simply nervous around mares. Why, it’s a miracle the poor dear’s not as bad as Fluttershy!





Lapis burst back into his house to find Bon Bon sitting perfectly still in the middle of the living room, her eyes wide open and staring right at him.

“Found the spell,” he said, quickly shutting the door behind him and unfurling the scroll from his bag. “You alright over there?”

“All… over… me…” Bon Bon said, her voice somewhere between a hiss and a whimper. One of her eyelids briefly twitched, and Lapis suddenly realized - he had no way of telling whether that twitch was caused merely by stress, or by a spider on Bon Bon’s face.

He grimaced and turned back to the scroll. “Okay. I’ll start with you, then work through the rest of the house. Not much longer…”

Lapis pointed his horn at Bon Bon, took hold of his magic, and thought through the incantation. At once, he was overcome by a slight draining sensation - and, from the tip of his horn, there was a quick puff of glowing golden particles. Well, shit. I was hoping it’d be a constant spray. Doing the whole house in batches will mean a way higher chance of missing some.

He looked back up to see Bon Bon, who now looked remarkably like she’d fallen into a pile of glitter. To Lapis’ mingled relief and unease, the spell had worked - a few patches of golden dust were hovering less than an inch above Bon Bon’s coat, and one of them was moving even as Lapis watched. 

Bon Bon’s eyes locked onto these at once, and Lapis hurriedly brushed them off. The second that Bon Bon was spider-free, she collapsed to the floor, tucking back her ears and shuddering with revulsion.

Lapis winced, then crouched down to put a hoof over Bon Bon’s shoulder. “Sorry I took so long,” he muttered.

“Staying here was a bad idea,” Bon Bon replied. “I was panicking. I should’ve- I just- UGH!”

Bon Bon banged her head against the floor, hard enough that Lapis winced. “It’s so stupid! All the things to be afraid of, and I get spiders?! These things aren’t even venomous! I should- I should just-”

She looked up, and her eyes fixed on something. Lapis followed her gaze to a patch of glitter that was wandering past her, in the general direction of his shop’s counter. Bon Bon’s mouth tightened, and she slowly, deliberately moved her hoof just over the spider. She took a deep breath in, and her hoof hung in the air for a second-

Then, Bon Bon groaned, pulling her hoof back and letting her head fall back to the floor. “Why?” she eventually asked. “Why can’t I just get over it? They’re dumb little bugs, they can’t even hurt me, and I just-”

She shivered again. “Urgh. …Sorry you have to see me like this.”

Lapis grinned, waving a hoof. “Don’t worry about it. My mom’s the same way about snakes. I think it’s something in our instincts- y’know, maybe a long time ago, before ponies could talk, venomous spiders were a common enough problem that we needed to be this afraid.”

Bon Bon’s mouth quirked upward, and she gave a quiet snort. “‘Before ponies could talk,’ huh? A-mare-ica must have some pretty different ideas about history.”

“Most likely,” Lapis said. “…Alright, you wanna try going outside? I can clear you a path to the door, make sure the porch is clear, then go back inside and deal with all the rest.”

Bon Bon nodded. “Yes. Please.”

Lapis smiled, then took a deep breath and levitated the scroll to his side.

It took three puffs to coat a strip of floor that led outside, Bon Bon scrambling into each patch of glitter-covered space as soon as Lapis had cast the spell. Making sure the porch was safe took longer - he found three spiders with the first coat of light, and when he made a second round, he found another spider in a spot he’d already sprayed.

As Lapis brought his hoof down on the bug, he felt a pinch on one of his back legs, just above the hoof. He winced, quickly brushing off his leg and stomping on the spider as soon as he felt it. “Hey, Bon Bon? You said they’re not venomous, right?”

Bon Bon’s eyes widened, and Lapis noticed that the dust on her face was slowly fading away. “One of them bit you?”

“Yeah,” Lapis said, looking back at his leg. “It doesn’t feel like it’s burning or anything.”

Bon Bon shivered again. “No, they can’t hurt you. Besides the invisibility thing, they’re normal garden spiders.”

Lapis shrugged, then gave the porch a few more puffs of glitter, just in case. “Alright, I think it’s safe out here.”

Bon Bon trotted outside, shutting the door behind her, then sat down and sighed in relief. “Thanks. …If I see Lyra passing by, I’ll flag her down.” 

Lapis nodded, then moved to the door. “Alright. I’m going back in, wish me luck.”

“Thank you,” Bon Bon said, and Lapis slipped inside the house.


The first thing he noticed was that none of the spiders he’d already sprayed were visible anymore. Lapis was pretty sure that the glitter he’d already applied hadn’t worn off yet, judging by the twinkling Bon-Bon-shaped outline on his wall. That means the spiders have probably hidden somewhere. Can’t really blame them, but I can’t have them in my house, either.

“Welp,” Lapis muttered, walking behind his counter and unfurling the scroll. “Guess I’d better get started. Okay, you creepy little crawlies, you have until I find you to start paying rent.”

“We hope thou dost not mean us,” said a voice next to Lapis’ ear.

Lapis flinched, reflexively turning toward the closet door - and then he recognized the voice. Oh, okay, she’s here. 

Now. Right now. In person, for the first time I’ve ever communicated with her-

Alright, just play it cool. Nothing’s wrong, and we’re going to keep it that way. Ready? Go.

“Not so much, Your Grace,” Lapis said, steeling his nerves as he turned toward Princess Luna. “This is going to sound a little strange, but I was talking to the invisible spiders.”

The Princess of the Night was standing just behind Lapis’ counter, her head lowered as if she were worried her horn would get stuck in his rafters. Her indigo-smoky mane was flowing in the air, her brow was furrowed, and her face looked distinctly concerned as she met Lapis’ gaze. “…We beg thy pardon?”

“The invisible spiders,” Lapis repeated - then, upon seeing the worry only growing on Luna’s face, he raised a hoof. “Hang on, I’ll show you.” 

Lapis pointed his horn at the nearest crevice and cast the Gold-Dust spell. Luckily, his guess had been good, and his magical glitter revealed the outline of one of the spiders.

“Hm,” Luna said, watching the patch of twinkling gold skitter across the ceiling. “…We admit, this is not a form of ‘fun’ we’d expected to find tonight.”

“Not my idea of a good time either, Your Grace,” Lapis replied, rolling up the scroll and using it to whack the newly-revealed spider. “I’m not sure how or when they got into my house, but they’ve infested the place. They bite, too - they’re not venomous or anything, but you might wanna wait outside until I’ve cleared them all out.”

Luna shook her head, igniting her horn. “Nay. ‘Twould take too long, and we have much to discuss.” Her horn flared, and a second later, a pulse of blue-green something washed over the inside of Lapis’ house. There was a sound like a roll of bubble wrap being wrung out, and a dozen or so dark splotches appeared on the walls, ceiling, and floor of Lapis’ living room.

“…Ah,” Luna said, her eyes widening. “Thou didst not exaggerate thine infestation. Our apologies for the mess.”

“…It’s alright,” Lapis said, tearing his eyes away from his newly-stained rug. “What spell was that, anyway?”

“Something we thought of before our banishment,” Luna replied, stepping out from around the counter and toward Lapis’ table. “An especially intrusive house of nobility had found a way to scry through the senses of enchanted houseflies, and it soon became our task to remove their flies from the walls.”

It was at this point that Lapis suddenly remembered Bon Bon, and how exhausted she’d looked as she’d sat down on his porch. 

“But let us set that aside,” Luna began.

“Uh, wait,” Lapis found himself saying, raising a hoof. “Sorry to ask, but I’ve got a friend who’s deathly afraid of spiders, and this whole invisible infestation thing might seriously mess her up for awhile. Do you have the range on that spell to sweep her house, too?”

Luna blinked, then smiled. “Of course! In truth, we could easily clear all Ponyville of the things!”

…All of Ponyville?! “Hang on,” Lapis began, but Luna had already ignited her horn.

A second later, everything that Lapis could see briefly pulsed with a barely-noticable blue-green tinge, and another, smaller burst of popping noises echoed across Ponyville. It was shortly followed by several high shrieks, and Lapis distinctly heard a distant voice shouting a single word - ‘tub,’ or maybe ‘rub.’

Luna released a satisfied sigh, then beamed at Lapis for a moment. “Many thanks for the chance to be of service, to thy friends and to Equestria. At any rate, we invited thee to the Grand Galloping Gala, and we mean to clarify our intentions toward thee.”

Lapis nodded, slowly. Keep. Calm. “Alright, Your Grace. Should I sit down, or…?”

“If thou wishest it,” Luna replied, seating herself on the rug beside the table. “…Though, we must insist against thy addressing us as ‘Your Grace.’ ‘Tis a title of the duchy, not those ponies of our own rank.”

Whoops. Lapis grimaced, then carefully walked over to the table and took a seat. Even with Luna sitting on the floor, and himself atop a stool, Lapis still had to look up to meet her gaze - though, not as much as he’d had to look up to Celestia. “Sorry, I had no idea. Would ‘Your Majesty’ or ‘Your Highness’ be better?”

Lapis hadn’t known it was possible to snort politely, not until after Luna had done it. “‘Your Highness’ shall suffice,” she said. “And of course all is forgiven. We would offer thee a book of manners, had all those we studied not rotted to pulp in centuries past.”

A frown briefly tugged at the corners of Luna’s mouth, but then she shook her head slightly and turned her gaze back to Lapis, her blue-green eyes as deep as the ocean. “But this too, we must set aside. Concerning thy attendance at the Gala, and our expectations for thee…”

Lapis held his breath.

“…Thou shouldst have little to do, save attend the festivities,” Luna said, one of her eyebrows inching up slightly. “Though ‘twas us who sent thy ticket, such was done at Celestia’s behest. She wishes to speak with thee then, regarding her plans for thy tutorship.”

Ask about the tutorship now, or you’ll be going into the Gala blind, Lapis thought. “About that, Your Highness,” was all he managed to say - the rest of the question tried to crawl back down his throat as Princess Luna blinked in surprise.

Lapis grimaced, then forced the words back up and out. “My tutorship, I mean. Do you think Princess Celestia will try to make me your student?”

For a full count of three, Luna did not respond, and Lapis felt his pulse speeding up-

-Then Luna turned her head and snorted again, and this time it was not a polite noise. When she faced Lapis again, it was with a smirk on her face. “Should she try such a thing… we have a request to make of thee, shouldst thou be willing to hear it.”

Lapis carefully nodded, and Luna kept speaking. “Should Celestia even begin overtures toward such an arrangement, we shall meet thy gaze, then face Celestia and say, ‘Remember Dewy Starglow.’ Might we ask thee to say the same, as we say it? In so doing, we hope to make a lasting impression on our sister’s tendencies to scheming.”

Lapis nodded again, feeling a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth, and Luna breathed a slight sigh of relief. “Excellent. And we applaud thy courage in joining league with us, Lapis. We had feared thy earlier directness with us had fled thee.”

“Sorry,” Lapis said. “We’d been- wait. I’d been worrying about the tutorship situation for awhile, and meeting you face-to-face is pretty different from writing to you with the Index.”

Luna nodded. “Indeed. ‘Tis the very reason our sister arranges meetings with the noble houses; reminding them of who writes the laws does much to keep them in line. …Alas, it likewise dissuades casual conversation,” Luna added, glancing out Lapis’ window as she spoke. “‘Tis… lucky that Celestia’s student is here tonight. Without her prompting, we suspect nopony at all would yet have spoken with us this ‘Nightmare Night.’ In honesty, ‘tis lucky indeed she hast dissuaded us from cancelling the holiday entirely,” Luna finished, chuckling.

“Yeah,” Lapis said, looking back outside again. “Did your sister really not warn you about tonight?”

“Nay, she likely told us of it,” Luna muttered, then looked down at the table, releasing a slow breath through her nose. “…We admit, we have had much on our mind of late. All this business with ballooning and trains has thrown us for something of a loop, to say nothing of how numerous our subjects have become in our absence. Buildings have grown taller, cities wider, ponies more long-lived, and speech less intricate yet more complex at once. Not to mention the matter of our own diminished height,” Luna added, looking herself over.

Lapis found himself nodding. “Yeah. It’s, uh, it’s a lot to get used to. I was honestly shocked by how much ponies talk to each other- uh, never mind.”

Luna looked up, a look of faint surprise crossing her own face - then, she suppressed a quick chuckle, and nodded. “Nay, there is merit to thy words. Our apologies, Lapis, we had forgotten thine own distant origins. Which reminds us…”

Luna hesitated, staring out the window for a moment, then turned to face Lapis. “…Provided thou hast the proper equipment, we are willing to accompany thee on thy next expedition to our former castle. We are unsure what thou might hope to find, but if finding it should lessen thy fears, ‘tis the least we can do to aid thee in looking.”

Lapis felt his eyes widening. “Wait, really? Oh. Wow. Thanks, Your Highness. Do you mind if I ask Zecora whether she’ll come along?”

“The Zebrican shaman?” Luna asked, after a moment’s consideration. “Go ahead. From what we have seen, her aid would be most welcome. And we are curious to ply her about the growth of shamanic traditions since our banishment-”

Somepony knocked on Lapis’ door, and Luna looked up. “-But I suppose we must save the details for later,” she finished, igniting her horn. “We would hate to draw more attention upon thee than thou might desire, by associating thee with ourselves. Write us the evening before thy expedition, and we shall arrive at the Castle by mid-morning.”

Lapis blinked, as the Princess’ horn slowly began to hum with magic. Wait, what? Why’s she hiding that she visited me? “Leaving already? I can tell them to wait outside for awhile, whoever they are.”

A small, sad smile surfaced on Luna’s face, like a bubble rising from dark water. “The Element of Magic has shown us how to find purpose in the fears we now inspire. Nonetheless, we still mourn at seeing our face in nightmares… ‘twould be our shame to place thy face beside our own, there. Fare thee well, and we shall see thee at the Castle.”

And, before Lapis could object, she was gone in a flash of light.


“…Well, shit,” Lapis muttered, trying to ignore the twinge of discomfort in his chest.

The knock at the door came again. Hurrying to open it, he found Lyra and Bon Bon waiting outside.

“Are the spiders gone?” Bon Bon asked.

“Also, hey, Lapis,” Lyra said, smiling awkwardly over Bon Bon’s shoulder. “Sorry I didn’t get here sooner, I had no idea there was a spider situation going on.”

“Don’t worry, we took care of it,” Lapis said, nodding at the spider guts that now polka-dotted his living room. “Also, uh. Somepony else was just here, I’ll tell you about it inside.”

“Oh,” Lyra said, her eyes growing wide as she looked over the spider guts. “Oh, wow. Okay, Bon Bon, are you sure you wanna go in?”

“Yes,” Bon Bon huffed, rolling her eyes and pointedly crossing over the threshold. “As long as they’re not moving, I’m fine.” 

Bon Bon still gave the splotches of spider guts a wide berth as she and Lyra stepped into the building, Lyra pulling the door shut behind herself. “…So,” Lyra asked, grinning. “How’d the talk with Luna go?”

“She’s absolutely positive that she isn’t my tutor,” Lapis replied, cutting the air with his hoof. “As in, if Celestia tries to make her any such thing, Luna’s given me specific instructions about how we’re going to shoot her down. Metaphorically,” Lapis added, upon seeing Bon Bon’s raised eyebrow.

“That wasn’t what I was worried about,” Bon Bon replied. “Did either of you ever figure out where all those spiders came from?”

“Not so much, no,” Lapis said. “But, I did get her to clear all the invisible spiders out of Ponyville. That’s why everything went blue for a second, a little earlier.”

Lyra blinked in surprise, then beamed at Lapis, while Bon Bon shut her eyes and released a quiet sigh. “Oh, thank Celestia,” Bon Bon muttered. “…Or Luna, I mean.”

“No worries, I’ll relay the message,” Lapis said, and then suddenly realized that he wasn’t sure how to continue the conversation. On the one hand, he had several questions: where had the spiders come from, why had they gathered in his house, how had they not revealed themselves before today, and so on. On the other hand… neither Lyra nor Bon Bon were likely to have the answers, and Lapis felt like maybe he should try distracting Bon Bon, just in case that would reduce the evening’s trauma. So, what am I supposed to do?

…I could explain what the word ‘fuck’ means. Bon Bon’s pointed it out a couple of times. It’s not the best idea, but it’s out-of-the-blue enough, it just might work. 

“So, uh,” Lapis began. “Moving on from all that-”

Almost immediately, three quick taps echoed from Lapis’ front door. Bon Bon, Lyra, and Lapis all looked up, and Lapis felt his gut twist as the possibilities started rolling through his head: It could be Rarity, checking in after what happened earlier. Or Twilight, trying to figure out what spell Luna cast. Or Applejack-

A distinctly annoyed trilling coo sounded from the other side of the door, and Lapis slumped forward in relief, igniting his horn. He pulled the door open, letting Nikki flutter into the room, then shut the door behind her. “Hey, Nikki. Sorry about that, it’s been… uh, it’s been a weird night.”

Nikki perched atop the counter, one of her brows creeping up as she took in the carnage. Slowly, she nodded.

“Ooh, wait, hang on,” Lyra said, perking up. “Hey, Nikki? You wouldn’t happen to know where all these invisible spiders came from, would you?”

At that moment, Lapis saw an expression on Nikki’s face that he’d never seen before: a queasy sort of frown, halfway between a grimace and a scowl. Nikki nodded, then gestured with a wing toward Lapis’ closet.

Lapis, Lyra, and Bon Bon exchanged wary looks, then Lapis got up. “I’ll check it out,” he said, heading toward the closet. “You two stay here. Nikki, would you mind coming with?”

“Be careful in there,” Bon Bon called, as Nikki landed atop Lapis’ head. Lapis pulled open the door to the closet, and saw that the attic hatch was open - and, more importantly, that several strands of gleaming spider silk were trailing down from the opening.

A few seconds later, Lapis had lit his horn, pulled down the ladder, and climbed almost through the hatch. Taking a deep breath, he raised his head into the attic and took it all in.

If his living room was bad, the attic was worse. What pieces of the wall that Lapis could see, in between the hundreds of criss-crossing silk strands, were very nearly painted with spider guts. I’ll have to come up here with a bucket of water and some rags tomorrow, or else… well, I don’t know what’ll happen if I let all this rot, but I’d rather not find out. 

“The spiders definitely came from in here,” Lapis muttered, glancing down at the strands of silk that connected the hatch to the closet floor. “And I can guess how they got out. Question is, how did they get into my attic to begin with? The last time I was up here was just after I got out of Ponyville General… except I know I shut this hatch behind me when I climbed out…”

Nikki fluttered down off Lapis’ head, landing just in front of him on the attic floor. That queasy frown was back on her face, and this time, Lapis recognized it as guilt. She gestured with a wing toward the attic hatch, then at herself.

“You opened the attic?” Lapis asked, cocking his head. “First off, color me impressed. Second, why'd you - oh, wait. Bird season. Right. You know you can just stay in my living room, like you’ve been doing?”

Nikki shrugged, still grimacing. She pointed at herself, with a single feather of her wing, and nodded - then she raised another feather on her wing, then another, and another, before shrugging again.

“‘One pigeon yes, more than one pigeon not so much’?” Lapis guessed. “…Wait a second. You’re trying to look out for your pigeon buddies, aren’t you?”

Nikki scowled. Then, begrudgingly, she nodded.

Lapis sighed, looking down so that Nikki wouldn’t see his grin. “Tell you what. We’ll clean this place up tomorrow, and then I’ll see if I can figure something out,” he said. Then, he climbed back down the ladder.