How far will one stallion run to escape what pursues him?
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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YOU GO, BARLEY!
After reading Celestia's reunion with Luna, it came to my attention that you currently owe me a lung and two sides.
Keep up the good work sir.
tf2comic.fr/images/cast/demoman.jpg
I been shaggin' yer sis! HAHA!
And now some brain bleach please if not a wall to knock out the image.
On a side note shouldn't there be someone from Bucky's family as well if they are planning on making peace ?
sooo, Luna is more of an earthpony and Celestia more of an unicorn?
anyway, still reading your Story, still thinking its awesome, keep it up.
only thing that´s kinda bugging me is what happen´d to sparkler´s and Rising Star´s dinner with his family?
4399471
Life keeps getting into the way.
It will happen... Maybe in another 100k words or so.
Interesting opening you have there. That last scene though... My only thought... Did Barley have enough fun to keep chasing?
Bwahahaha. Barley you old stud. Got a peek at the full moon eh.
Epic as in "long" epic or epic as in "iz gun be gud" epic or both?
nice, outdrinking an alicorn
Ok, I did NOT expect that, this is once again a proof that Luna is freaking awesome.
So now, we have all alicorns in a single basket, trying to avoid the incoming shitstorm, I somehow doubt it'll end that easy. This situation makes me wonder exactly how much of the Canterlots hornhead population will support Buckys mom, looks like Twis parents will not be part of that.
Found this fic yesterday, now I am here. Chapter 43... More pls
No really, I just devoured this thing. It's funny, it has action, action, love and a very good plot.
This deserves way more attention. As a buddy of mine called it as he gave me the link: "This is Xenophilia without a human."
Couldn't approve more.
Missing an end quotation mark.
Would it be worth saying "ivory-colored unicorn stallion"?
Only other thing I noticed is, is Shining Armor actually there? I mean, for everything that Cadence said in her conversation with Celestia, it stood out in my mind that there was no mention of Shining's reactions. Also, did Twilight just embrace her parents, or her parents plus her brother? It just seems like Shining was inserted into the chapter after it was written.
Apologies if this is nitpicking too much!
4399674 From what i could guess Shining Armor is still in the Crystal Empire managing things there, that would explain why he's not in Ponyville right now.
Bang zoom... straight to the moon!
Sorry...
Someone had to say it.
I really hate this Celestia. I really really do. She seems selfish and wants to be in control of everything at all times and any time something doesn't go her way she has a fit. It's almost like she's a child. The last part of this chapter is evident to that. And she's also willing to put all the blame for things on Twilight and not allow for sweeping reform that is needed. In addition, she doesn't realize that it wasn't herd marriage causing the problems, it was the ponies behind the problems and their problems (like jealousy). She isn't going after the root cause, she's treating the symptoms. It's like putting a band aid on a bullet wound. If you don't remove the bullet, your gonna have issues down the line.
4399401 That picture of Demoman is perfect!
Drunk Luna is best Luna. I can just imagine Twilight walking in on her either shagging or drinking herself into Oblivion
4399684
That's what's bugging me. It's easy to miss, but once I realized it, I couldn't ignore it.
4399897
Maybe it's a good thing that Luna's memories of what is now 1000 years ago, are still so fresh in her mind. Luna's behavior doesn't surprise me, and I applaud it (plus I find it really entertaining!).
4399957 Reread and its true. Luna crazy and drunk got me messed up
Law of Averages, Tia. Rule for more than a millennium and you're going to make a mistake eventually.
Cadance reminds us just what the power of love can do. Helen of Troy launched a thousand ships. I can only assume Shining would provoke an equal response at the minimum.
Okay, this line is basically begging me to guess what Celestia and Luna were prior to their ascendance, assuming they ascended at all. Given both the story and canon, I'm going to say pegasus for Luna and earth pony for Celestia. Luna is arrogant, demonstrative, passionate. Celestia is mediating, maternal, steady.
In other words, a brute and a numbskull. No wonder Canterlot is full of snobs; they're just balancing things out.
Yes, very civil, Twilight. You try ruling an empire for a thousand years plus. See how well you do.
And Thunderlane just can't catch a break, can he? Next time, make sure the prisoners are presentable before presenting them.
Looking forward to more.
So Luna cut loose? So what? Maybe Celestia should do the same? I also wondered how Twilight would react if her family was there, and it was exactly what I thought.
Oh, and if Celestia wants her 'Ponyville' project to remain safe, she won't fight. Which means Twilight now has the leaders of Equestria as hostages, and the leader of the Crystal Empire. She could take over right now.
Not that she will. Now, back to Bucky, Berry, Derpy.
4399993
Seeing Celestia cut loose would be cool, since she's probably a lightweight (although, since she represents the Sun, maybe her insides are so hot that the alcohol just burns away...).
I just hope Celestia & Luna don't both get drunk at the same time, or who knows what would happen to the Sun & Moon.
The talk between Cadance and Celestia about how important love is reminded me of a quote a friend of mine recited (sorry if i have it wrong its been a while an i cant remember is correctly) :
Love breeds Jealousy, Jealousy breeds Hate and Hate breeds War.
( I think it went like that )
Not far in, Shining Armor.
Shining Armor is going to have a say in this as well... But I don't think people are going to like his views. He and Cadance aren't going to see eye to eye on this issue.
Keep in mind, Shining Armor comes from a martial culture and background.
4399761
Maybe it is misdirection, like so many other elements of this story...
LOL luna 'only a little bit of freindly shagging' in my opinion luna being the lunar princess has complete control over alcohol, especially moonshine and as such is never drunk out of her mind, case in point
4399635
Because. Clan Pickled are the victims.
All of this happened because of a marriage a long time ago between tribes.
Keep that in mind. Between tribes.
A marriage between tribes sparked a war that was placed into a cease fire, a state of truce. The war never concluded. Berry just went and broke the peace.
Now, the tribes are coming together again, love and politics entwine, and Equestria now exists in a state of war once again.
Will ponies learn from the past or will the same mistakes be made?
Reread the story. Read carefully about the snippets involving Clan Pickled.
Bucky and Berry both are bound by their shared past. Romeo and Juliet. Etc.
It took a marriage to start a war, and it will take a marriage to end it.
4399578
Should break a million words.
Depending on how much of the optional stuff I put in.
This is a multi-generational story.
4400322 You know I would really love to hear Shinings point of view on this matter. I feel like there has been to much of one point of view on this matter and would like to see what his arguments are.
4400365
Like I said, keep in mind, martial culture.
Officer training.
His opinion is going to reignite the storm of startled pegasi and what they leave behind.
I don't know what to say, I was not expecting Luna to do that.
4400374 One thing i have too keep with me when reading this story is a dictionary few words i dont know, makes me feel kinda stupid.
4400374
So...
4400454 ..........OMG I should have seen it coming
4398756
Well, considering you went out of your way to post such a well thought out response, I guess I can safely assume that you fully agree with every single point I made. Thank you!
4399077
Huh, I'm honestly not sure if this was meant to be serious or if it was just the story poking a bit of fun at itself.
4400694
Read the brief bio under my user name area.
So, tried reading any more of it?
Starts off simple to lure people in and then begins to lay the ground rules for a while, and then, BAM! story time.
Celestia just cannot catch a break, can she...?
I'd say I'd be concerned about the fact the guards just collapse in that easily in letting their guard down (aha), but I think if the show has showed anything it's that hardened soldiers the royal guard are really not.
Actually, come to think of it, if we use the show as a typical level of competance of Equestiria's armed forces, I wonder if this day and age the ar between the houses ould result in anything other than a pie-fight or brawl or whether anypony even has the competance to do any assassinations...!
4400365
I wanna know what Spike thinks of all this, personally. Hell... just what he thinks generally. Because he's not a pony at all, and in this story... that's important; because despite geing raised by ponies, his biology will be working on him in different ways to the ponies. I'm interested in how the other non-ponies fit in as well - Zecora, for another prime example - but Spike is the big one since a) he's a major character, b) he's a non-pony and c), let's be fair, I really like Spike.
4400712 Would you be mad if I said i completely forgot about Spike's existence ?
4400712
Sit down and try to do a count on how many character profiles I've had to create for this story. And still creating. Spike is cardboard.
My story notes for this story exceed 25k words.
For the notes.
My notes have a higher word count than many fictions.
If I added Zecora and Spike and so many others as requested, I'd be overrun and this story would only grow by like eleventyzillion words.
4400712
Oh, and I am still trying to create in depth profiles, names, and character outlines for all of the fecking foals that are going to be spat out soon from everybody's backsides.
And then I need to work on the interaction dynamics of what happens between foals raised in a herd marriage vs foals raised in a monogamous marriage and the various points of view between them.
Oh Goddess, please, somepony kill me, I took on a Sisyphean task and now I must pay for my hubris.
4400704
Sorry, but I just can't get into it for the same reasons I couldn't fully enjoy xenophilia. If nothing else, I'm just annoyed by how the description basically lies. It pretty much has nothing to do with anything in the story and makes me wonder why the description is written the current way in the first place if it's not actually relevant.
Not only that, but like I said most of the culture being described feels incredibly forced, and what makes it worse is the fact that the reader learns about it through almost non stop exposition and info dumps. I honestly ended up skimming several paragraphs just to continue with the story.
Again, sorry, but this just isn't for me. It's certainly well written for the most part (from what I read), so I'd say you're a good author, I just think you have a bit of an issue with world building in a way that doesn't focus on just telling instead of showing. That said, good luck with the rest of your story.
4400744
Aw, thanks!
I realise that world building is not everybody's thing. Some people just want a story straight up with the already established frameworks.
I do those too. So much easier to write than this is.
The Chase has taken entirely too much work.
I've actually been studying equine psychology lately. Horse think. Horses are weird, yo.
Free
cracksample from the next chapter.-Only a small sample. A teeny tiny sample. I gotta go!
4400761
Sorry, maybe I wasn't being clear enough. While I do prefer fics that stay true to the Equestria in the show (because to me, if you end up changing everything, then why have it be Equestria in the first place?), I also understand that fics can be great even if they don't do that. In all of these cases, I don't mind world building, and often times I enjoy it. What bothered me in this story (and which seems to show up in most stories like this) is the way the world building occurs. Which usually ends up being in a way that's more tell instead of show. When I have to sit through paragraphs upon paragraphs of exposition just to get to the next line of dialogue, I just stop paying much attention. When the dialogue that finally shows up is even more exposition then I just give up completely.
When all of that happens after being misled by the description (intentional or otherwise) I just end up feeling a bit disgusted.
Honestly, this is what annoys me about most culture/society fics here. The authors end up treating the ponies as real life ponies, ignoring how odd that is. These fics end up tossing in things like herds and heat (usually, though not all the time, as a way for the author to have the characters act in whatever way they need them to), and what follows is a fic where the ponies act nothing like they do in the show.
4400801
Me, I wanted ponies that were just alien enough to trigger some weird feelings.
I think it worked. A lot of people feel that the ponies are, indeed, alien.
I haven't touched on the heat issue. I'm afraid to.
4400722
I wouldn't even be surprised, unfortunately...
4400731
I'm turning this sentence over and over and I just can't quite grasp it. It's like you think that would a bad thing or something...
Shame, though, I'd be really interested in his outsider's perspective...
4400738 My dear pony, you are talking to the Lich who has spent the last three or four weeks on and off working with astrophysics and talking to actual astrophysicits and trying to work out complex orbital mechanics just so that the alien roleplaying campaign world he's planning (which which be completely built from the ground up - why'd you think I'm taking so many notes for you!) will be RIGHT. Merely just going "magic/sufficiently advanced science did it" is not good enough! Spreadsheets will be needed before I'm done! (No, seriously. It makes crunching the numbers easier.)
And my prior campaign world was only maginally less ambitious in that I merely tossed side the entire bestiary and went back to mythological basics to re-image all the monsters - I've been working on that one for over ten years! (I've not, by any means "finished" it, but I've reached the point where aside from filling in the bits required for setting the adventures, I've sort of run out of steam for just pure creation, hence me looking at starting the next and even more insane idea.)
So I am well versed in insanely over-ambitious projects! (Though I suspect the major difference is you are a student of pschology and I am an engineering-minded necromancer space-Lich: you think People, I think Stuff...!)
Pendantic, extensive detail (that likely no-one will ever see) is the very soul of creativity, if you ask me...!
Also, completely changing the subject - I actually fairly early on had a look at equine behavior, and was surprised to see a fair amount of corrolation (especially in the more demographically mare-heavy skewed season one environment) between ponies and terrestial equines. More by accident than by design, I suspect, of course, but it was interesting.
One of my favourite pet thoeries early on was that Spike is a "baby dragon" by species, not age, and the ponies all kept thinking he needed extra sleep because he as a baby, but actually it was because ponies slept very little like their terrestial counter-parts. (It also made Luna's fall make a little more sense. Given than terrestial equines are cathemeral naturally, there is a certain logic as they became more civilised and needed to use colour vision to do civiliation-y things (farm, sew etc etc) ther would be a shift towards a more diurnal activity cycle. Which would, of course, have left Luna out in the cold, so to speak. It was an interesing rumination, in any case.)
4400902
I have a zebra story in mind with a sociological twist called "Black and White and Red All Over."
He keeps making embarrassing cultural mistakes.
I have a few notes, some character design, some archetypes, etc. It would build upon The Chase framework, including how zebras do magic.
...
Do I even? XD
Just a little chase and some friendly shagging...
Drunk and amorous Luna ftw!