How far will one stallion run to escape what pursues him?
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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5130659
Rarity needs to dip her marshmallow into some hot Coco.
I'm still placing my bets on it being Bittersweet or Zecora that joins them.
Missing space.
Sentinel is starting to make his herd. Good.
Hmm... maybe one of the mares should 'accidentally' mention Bucky's new magazine within earshot of Sentinel, specifically telling him to keep it away from prying colts. That way, he still gets to feel dirty.
The earth pony leaned on the pegasus, and the unicorn kissed the earth the pony a swift peck on the cheek.
Hmmm removing the 'the' between earth and pony will help the sentence flow better I believe. It may help including a 'with' between pony and a.
I'm not sure if it is this chapter or the Large Mocha Frappe I just had plus the Pizzas I am about to eat, but my chest hurts.
5130842 Bad Kudzu! Bad! No more cheesy innuendo!
5130923
No, Pinkie Pie gets the Cheesy sexual in yer window.
5130842
I still think that ship should be called Hot Coco.
Drop the n.
I'd like to see a whole chapter centered on Sentinel and Diamond Tiara. Maybe one centered on Harper exploring the house and evading her parents.
How about this: Sentiara?
"There was something about her that appealed to Ripple, Bittersweet, being mute, had a quiet mysteriousness and to understand her, you had to spend a lot of time looking directly at her, like Ripple had done, looking directly into her eyes and at her lips when she mouthed words."
This is one hell of a run-on sentence. Should look something like this:
"There was something about her that appealed to Ripple; being mute, she had a quiet mysteriousness, and to understand her, Ripple had to spend a lot of time looking directly at her, looking directly into her eyes and at her lips when she mouthed words."
This was too adorable
Also, I recommend changing "rapt learner" to "avid learner," if only because you already used "rapt" in the sentence before, and rapt applies more towards actions than people.
5131074
No, this is a run on sentence. With feeling.
Taken from Suicide by Goddess.
5131033
Can't forget Moonbow. How about Moonteniara?
5131125
I don't practice Moonteniara, I ain't got no crystal ball, well I had a million dollars but I spent them all...
5131125
I like it.
You update too much.
5131287
to keep them proud. <- plural, isn't it?
Also: Nice chapter, as always :D
5131336
She isn't talking about Sentinel's mothers with that little slip up.
5131287 I'm still under the impression that Kudzu is some kind of literature-based cyborg.
5131219 thye kinda laready mentioned that is what the tree was connected to in this story.
5131349
Ooooh, got it now
D'aaaawful chapter. Simply d'aaaawful.
5131133
I thought it was "if I had a million dollars, well I'd, I'd spend it all."
... AN avid pupil. Not A avid pupil.
Aaaaaahwww... Darn, I'm predictable.
Moonmondtel and Ripplesweet.
Shipping...shipping everywhere. And feelings !
Also, my wife loves when i "correct" her spine...when she tries to do the same with me, well, let´s just say i don´t let her do the same. Since the first time she ever tried. No,r eally, why just not riple my spine off, hit me with it, and then shove it back with fire !? It would be less painfull for sure !
*Stands up from the computer, blood running down my nose. I turn around and miss a step, falling down and convulsing, foaming at the mouth. A spontaneous doctor appears* Cause of death? Overdose of cutness and exposure to lethal levels of adorable. He never stood a chance..."
-Dun dun dun, Dah dadun dun dun, da dun-
All seriousness though.... I'm finding myself more and more okay with this pairing as I reread this chapter.
It's 5:30 in the morning and I feel energetic.
This chapter is appreciated.
I mean- dawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
5132338
She is a type five.
As a unicorn she was a type four.
The story does state as such.
5131287 Nu, 4 chapters a day >:D
???
Stahp... I need to live, stahp killing me!!!
5130942 masterpiece pun if I ever saw one
5132361 ...could there be such a thing as a type 5 unicorn? without resorting to depraved methods of course.
Once Sentinel starts school I would DIE laughing if one of the C.M.C. took an interest in him. And I cannot wait until Applebloom, Scootaloo, or Sweetie Belle starts treating Diamond Tiara poorly and Sentinel steps in. I also deeply pity bully who tries to pick on ANYBODY when Ripple is around. I CANNOT WAIT to see what kinds of schoolyard shenanigans you churn out. There is so much potential for character development here it isn't even funny. Keep up the good work and keep your readers loyal.
5131125
How about Moonmondtel
Oh my god, this is so long! I'll set a few months aside to dive into this leviathan of a story.
5130842 If, instead of sex, you actually went the literal route I'd probably like that chapter better. Just... just, coco pommel makes coco and rarity suggests marshmellows. Dipping happens and then they both slowly come to realize they have an innuendo in their hooves. They both blush crimson and stare at the floor for a bit. That'd be amazing. Please, make my dreams come true. I'd appreciate it like no other.
5130842
her marshmellow?
but the way you wrote it implys that she...
I'm gonna stop thinking about this for a while
"feeling out knots and crushing them gently, rubbing and moving her moves, pressing in and twisting gently,"
'moves!'
'moving her moves!'
She's dancing ?
I found the D'aaaw factor to be a mite bit low. sweet, but not diabeetus type of sweet. More touching and precious.
Dat warning, oh well let's read.
*read*
.....meh, we have has cuter moments. And only one fick has accually given me diabetes from reading, don't take it too harshly.
i.imgur.com/oyjrw7R.gif