How far will one stallion run to escape what pursues him?
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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So we have an earth pony researcher, a unicorn spy... we just need a pegasus field agent now.
derpicdn.net/img/2012/2/15/3060/large.jpg
Yep, she fits the bill!
This is beautiful. The latter parts of the Isles Arc were difficult to read. Well written, mind you, but painful to digest. It might seem silly to feel this way about fictional characters, but I love this family. They've come to mean a lot to my day to day reading. Thank you for penning such a lovely cast of characters for us.
5016217
I had to stop writing for a while after Shining Star reflecting upon her son. The part where she didn't know him anymore. No dialogue. Her realisation. After writing the last line...
Oh man, this chapter was great. You are right, it feels good to have a mostly carefree (but still character-developing) chapter.
Sentinel is such a gentlecolt, I too would be immensely proud if I was in Bucky's shoes.
It is nice to read happy stuff in this story without something looming on the horizon. Well, something that we don't know for certain to be horrible. Okay, it will probably be horrible, but at least we don't know the specifics. Yet.
I guess my point is that I'm trying to enjoy this while it lasts. I look forward to more.
5016230
Oddly enough, the Griffon Diplomacy Arc isn't so much about Bucky's development, but Twilight Sparkle. Bucky will play a central role, make no mistake, but we get to see a new dynamic when the Knight and the Librarian are working together.
Hark! The lovely siren song of power when you hold War upon a short leash...
Loch Skimmer best pony...no, Sentinel is....scratch that, it is Dinky...no, Sentinel again....ARGH, STOP TOYLING WITH MY FEELINGS !!!!!
5016228
Totally understandable. I couldn't imagine my son going so far from home only to come back so scarred from his experience. I'd want for those kinds of journeys to be enlightening and light-hearted and fun; not sobering and traumatic as Rising Star's had been. It would break my heart to see someone I love so changed in such a way. His parents have a big task ahead of them, learning to be more supports his little herd can lean on.
Congrats on 900+ story likes Kudzu!
~ TOOWC
One "he"
sprung
curiosity
Wait I thought Galaxy Guide was the mother?
I'm just going to say... young love, filled with obligation and duty. Somehow this ship is soooo wrong and yet so Ideal.
5016687
Who? In regards to what? Context?
5016635
Father.
The scenes (over the past few chapters) of Rising's new family have been great. The mix of the heartwarming, the heartbreaking, the bittersweet have all been great to read.
5016714
And none of them would have had any meaning without the darkness of the Isles Arc.
People still tell me I should have simply had Bucky and family depart and then pick up the story upon their return.
Several private messages just today in fact. People are in love with the story again it seems now that the Isles are over.
DELETE THE ISLES ARC!
5016693
Hahah oh yeah forgot about Heard Sparkler, also a bit wrong but at least they were friends forced together through fate. I'm referring to Moony and Senty. Childhood romances are rare, mostly starting as friendships and developing as they get older. Natural course being as they are, but this kind of relationship with all its obligation and duty to family, has been demonize in western culture. Almost to the point that they don't fit the model of a good relationship. It's a strange and fresh perspective.
5016693 I think Moonbow and Sentinel, though the Rising Star branch could fit.
5016728 as painful of a read as it was, I loved the Isle arc. It was an amazing story of a unicorn making the best of what he had in a lawless dangerous place, and it expanded the world a lot, allowing my imagination to explore the corners of the islands and imagining a life without daily comforts. It was by far one of the most enlightening reads I've had. Some people just don't like painful stories I guess.
Boners...that is all.
5016739
Moonbow is clearly older and more mature, and Sentinel is charming with his naiveté.
Not to worry though. They're not actually going to do anything for a long time.
5016784
I had no doubt... but it doesn't help that girls mature faster than boys, and their racial makeup leads to the dominant female. Im guessing when their in their teens Moony is going to be picking out herdwives like drapes.
5016827
Yeah... pretty much this.
Moonbow: Hey, Sentinel, you like that one? She has wide birthing hips.
5016832
Moonbow: Oooo Sentinel check out her wings, doesn't she have such gorgeous wings, and that mane and tail, doesn't it just make you YANK on it?
5016848
You don't even want to know how the big bitch pegasus in a lunar pegasi herd "collects" the lesser females.
Hmm, her guard is down. POW!
5016728 Dude you realize that if you cut out the isles arc thats 2-3 months or something timeline wise that your cutting out, as well as all the character development, injuries, marriages and adoptions. You began the isles arc with Bucky, Derpy, Berry, Rising Star, Sparkler, Pina and Dinky, Lyra and Bon Bon were kinda background characters who had a slightly more important role to play than others. You come back afterwards with an Airship, Lyra and Bon Bon now being wives to Bucky, Thistle(a completely unknown pony) now a wife, Sentinel, Harper and Moonbow(again completely new ponies) all adopted into the family, Rising star marrying Sparkler as well as Loch Skimmer and Ripple ( I feel like I'm repeating myself a lot here), the majority of Bucky's wives pregnant, Bucky getting injured, Replacing his horn and his eye and then all the efforts and that went into crafting the armour. Then there's the whole reason he went out to the isles in the first place, to confront the evil dwelling there in the form of his Grandfather's crystallized soul.
That's soooooo much writing you'd be cutting out. And all of that back story. It would be almost criminal to cut out that much stuff
5016905
Yet people say the Isles was a mistake. It is the reason why The Chase has been added to so many negative and hate focused groups.
People HATE the Isles Arc and people are pissed that the story changed.
If I cut the Isles out, I would be guilty of telling without showing.
So I know I can't win.
5016857
Mwahahahah hahaha ahahahaha!!!!
Random Female Prospect #4: That crazy lunar pegasus mare is out side again.
Random Female Prospect #2: I spoke to the guard, it seems there is little they can do... apparently is some strange courting ritual, and she is claiming some right as a member of an endangered racial group.
#4: But she tackle-glomped me and tried fluffing me for her mate. SHE WAS SHOWING HIM MY HONEY POT, like I was some piece of fruit.
#2: Yeah but isn't he cute, all shy and embarrassed, it just kind of sweet how he apologizes and talks all knightly and stuff.
Random Female prospect #3: Did you know he is a Knight, like an actual honest to goodness Knight, and some sort of prince.
...
...
...
#4: Well I guess a few dates couldn't hurt...
#3: Must protect the species after all,
#2: I WANT TO BE A PRINCESS!!!!!
5016728
How could you tell a story without a second act? Just explain the major changes to the characters and their situation in a chapter or two?
I mean... there's a story there, from the perspective of Rising's parents of a child who leaves, comes back abruptly, changed for the better and the worse, and then the ensuing re connection and understanding of his situation, but it's not the same story as the one being told.
5016934 If the people too squeamish to understand the necessity of the Isles arc don't like it, tell 'em to go buck themselves.
A. It's your story you should be free to write it however you like
B. It's now an integral part of the story, so much of what's currently happening hinges on the occurrences of the Isles arc.
C. The chase is a story that is almost purposefully going against public opinion in order to provoke thought. The isles arc and all that happens therein are basically designed for that purpose. It's however many chapters you put into it in order to make all the points, the ponies being used to show all the flaws that existed and still exist in humans.
D. It's some of the best written and most interesting parts of the story.
5016951
Sentinel will never be a prince.
But he will be a knight.
To earn his knighthood he has to hunt down Sombra's fell shadow
5016952
The flaw with that is no matter if the arc is there or not the return from the Isles marks a change in tone regardless. The fic goes from happy happy to sad and dark with little to no reason for why. Part of what makes this such a good story is its realistic tone. A scared hero carries more weight than one who suffers nothing and learns nothing.
5017030
Yeah I was referring to the fact that hes the son of a prince, probably a fact Moonbow might exploit for her ideal herd.
5017060
I dunno, my mental image was more of a cat bringing a live mouse back to it's mate.
Ptoo! Hey, this one is blue.
Too blue.
Bugger! **goes off to hunt**
5017086
Hmmm I suppose, unless Sentinel's sisters get involved.... *shudders* OMG he is SOOOOO BUCKED.
5017107
Pina: See, my sister, she is a major part of Equestria's spy network. She sees all. She knows who has been naughty and who has been nice.
Dinky: But I don't hurt ponies. I just make sure they get brought in to Pina, who has special hooves. Very special hooves.
Pina: I am going to ask you a few questions about my brother...
5017053
The story doesn't really transition with no warning, or for no reason. It was unexpected and more than a little jarring, yes, but I mean... there could have been a horrible tragedy out of nowhere, serving no narrative purpose other than to introduce misery, and this story is pretty much the opposite of that. Even the problems the characters are having are all set up in the story beforehand (see Rising's previous low-self-esteem-malaise, followed by the critical falling apart of his self worth and the fragile reassembly that ensued), and this kind of crucible was absolutely essential to Bucky's rise to "power" so to speak.
Imagine how out-of-place if, with no leadup, Bucky was simply revealed to have a destiny to be an alicorn, and told that he would ascend if he sneezed improperly? That, instead of being built up over the course of the previous arc he was simply told "you are amazing, so much more than almost every other pony alive and have godlike power". There's no hero's journey in that, there is just abrupt changes to the status-quo for the purpose of having Bucky in the place the author needed/wanted him to be.
You even say that a scarred hero, who suffered for his growth is more compelling that simply is always great, but that's a direct response to the story being happy then dark for a very concrete narrative reason, and being supported by foreshadowing and details in the first act. That's what makes the story believable and compelling.
5017130
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Derpy observes the prospects brought into the interrogation room from a dimly lit corner light casting eerie shadows on her face. Her hooves steepled in front of her face, a pair of shades cover her discerning wall eyes. Her keen senses and mothers intuition scanning every answer her two daughters pry from the candidate.
Suddenly the door burst open, "Derpy, girls!!!" Berry Punch is appalled by the sight of the bawling mare. "What are you girls doing? I know you want to find the best candidate for Sentinel, but this is not the way!!! Look you're scaring the poor mare," The two sisters look down in shame while Derpy's subtle movements go unnoticed. Suddenly Thistle and Lock Skimmer burst in dragging another candidate who is sporting a satisfied and pleasantly broken look in her eyes. Seeing Berry they smile sheepishly, "H..hey Berry, did you want to check this one over? She has good features and is free of disease." Berry facehooves, "When did I become the responsible one."
Kudzu, can I just. I wanna give you all of the loves. All of them. You are awesome.
5017177
Ok I didn't state my point clearly, I'm doing that alot today apparently. I don't believe this Fic could stand without the Second Act.
OK first arc was the courtship, light hearted with some foreshadowing but full of hope for the future.
Then a transition from first to second Arc with alot of foreshadowing and we see a tone shift.
Second Arc we see gore and horror, suffering and little bits of hope. The tone is very dark and alot of characters are added. World building takes place and we see important character development. Also what the authors bread and butter is in this fic is his Slice of Life interwoven within his overall narrative. This arc exploits that because we want to see the common everyday joys within the horror of War. Without it the arc is too depressing.
Third arc we again see a tone shift but as we move away from dark and gore we move towards action and political intrigue. We have yet to see this as we are still in the recovery transition.
But without the second arc any and all development between the first and third arc would seem out of place or just forced. To go from a Happy foreshadowing tone to a Dark and hopeful tone so suddenly would be annoying and strange. An important time skip only covered in exposition is a literary crime.
Sonething on my mind for some time: did Galaxy Gude ever hitchhike?
5017341
He tried. But he forgot his towel. What a hoopy frood.
5017341 I see what you did there...
5017327
Then we agree!
Let's celebrate by explaining different aspects of the narrative to each other in order to futilely "correct" each other over minor miscommunications we've made!
5017402
Agreed
Are Sentinel and Moonbow going to be in school with Pina and Dinky?
5017637
Answering that would involve spoilers.
yay, i have finally caught up!
oh wait, I have read all the chapters, there is not a huge 30 chapter gap between me and only getting 2-3 chapters a day
as I re-read that last part I sounded incredibly selfish, but in the words of the protagonist
'I regret nothing!
When you say "necking" do you mean kissing? Or like snuggling or something.
Earth Pony Master Race must bloom in the rebirth of fire and knowledge! Fire is done, now we need educational system. Just don't reinvent the shower.