How far will one stallion run to escape what pursues him?
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Welp.
Twilight. Herds. Seriously, look into it.
Dawwwwww...... that last line he used was beautiful...
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I edited this bastard like fifty something times, adding stuff and trimming other stuff away. I'm like totally neurotic about it right now... I wanted cringing embarrassment and dorkiness... and not haha funny. I wanted laughter from mutual embarrassment. I don't know how I did to be honest... so I am going to go now.
Is the 'Flash Sentry' mean to be him? It sounds like there's another stallion otherwise.
Oh Flash... I see so much of me in him right now, as in he hasn't got a damn clue when it comes to the opposite gender. Now, he has to use them on Dash! Can't wait for that!
Wouldn't be weird having Dash call Twi 'Momma"
Oh...
OH......GOTCHA.....
I love being right.
Oh god, those pickup lines..
Except Raritys.... Might have to use that one
Nice chapter, very cringe inducing!
She
Trouble
Remove the first to and change the second one to for
I would also suggest 're wording it. you mean to tell me that you have the stones to come to me and ask for help in wooing twilight? Even though I plan on keeping her for myself? or something like that.
Man, where did you get these pick-up lines? Unbelievable...
Was this intended as a prank by Rainbow? Which got out of hoof?
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She went back on her word not to sabotage Flash's efforts. Hence her feelings of guilt.
And then, much to her dismay, her attempt to bring Flash Sentry down backfired and Twilight loves cheesy pickup lines.
I think the only thing from The Chase to make me laugh this hard was drunk Bucky insulting his mother and that nearly made me die laughing.
I was thinking the last scene in this chapter was going to be Flash turning to Rainbow and saying the first line he said. Would have been hilarious so see Dash's reaction
5159490
I thought it was pretty adorkable, with a side order of comedy.
Of course, that's just me.
.
Remove the you. I could be wrong on this one.
the
That's all I can find.
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With the first one, people (and ponies) actually talk that way. Conversational grammar is not the same as book grammar.
5159623 ahh I get ya. I was mainly focusing on how it roles of the tong a little easier.
... ok, my face should be mostly back to how it was now. I have typos, have at thee!
"and we both know that that nothing happened" -that
"and then she raised her eyebrow as he pulled her head away from Flash Sentry" he -> she
Flash is so adorkable, I'm still going to murder him
oh my god, i had so much trouble not exploding out loud when i was reading this. it was doubly hard as i was sitting just outside church while a service was going on.
Of course those lines would work on Twilight...
This chapter had me giggling through the whole thing.
Best pickup line: Uh, look, I didn't realize how beautiful you were till I got over here and it made me forget my pickup line... Mind if I try again?
dorke alert... still his funny
Girl if you were DNA helicase you could unzip my genes/jeans
He should have used that one. It's both nerdy and sexy
th06.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/f/2012/188/5/2/daring_do_is_a_pony_by_sexdrugssmoothjazz-d56cl8j.png
"And now we observe wild dorks in their natural habitat. It appears that the male has initiated some kind of mating call. SIMPLY AMAZING!"
"The dorkiness has been doubled!"
"Stop listening in, Luna!"
"Then why are you here, dear sister?"
"That's my student there!"
"Oh? Why the bottle of whiskey?"
"I'm taking a shot every time I hear a corny pickup line."
"Didst thou bring enough for two?"
"...maybe..."
"Shall we become drunk as lords whilst we watch?"
"Why not? This looks like it's going to be fun!"
"Very well. I have bits Rainbow Dash becomes part of this new herd."
"I am not taking that bet."
Wow. I just... wow. There's dorkiness, and then there's this. Really, these two deserve each other. I just hope they'll have room for Dash. Everyone deserves happiness. Well, almost everyone. (I'm looking at you, Grandpa Godling.)
Looking forward to more.
I think Rainbow's got two plans going for her. A Xanatos gambit, if you will.
A: Once Twilight has had enough of Flash's advances, she'll get tired of him and Rainbow will have her to herself.
B: Twilight will want to marry him and Dash will ask to form a herd. Twilight hesitantly agrees and she's got two screw buddies.
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rolls off the tongue
Tongs only have one role, but tongues have many.
God, Rainbow is a twat.
I have a friend who enjoys porn with hyper proportions.
Rainbow is the kind of cunt he'd fap to just by her behavior.
All of my YES for this chapter, I LOVE terrible puns and cheesy pick up lines!
Wow...That officially falls into "so bad, it's good" territory.
Ok first, Jesus Christ my sides.
Second, if you are so deep in the potential love zone that you can pull that last one off then Jesus Christ you are basically already there.
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Does a dork of this magnitude ever know if they are in love for certain? I mean, he knows he's in love, but he doesn't know how to talk to her in a meaningful way outside of letters.
So he has to try and break the ice and figure out what to talk about face to face. Going from pen pals in love to friends being in love and able to touch one another is quite a change.
surprised you didn't use the angel pick up line
Seems like this was a prank that backfired.
Dash you are too much...
5159072 I noticed that, but when I first uploaded it then the whole image looked really small on the screen and he got taller when I resized it, I'm probably going to fix it later. I stayed up until 3 AM working on it so I wasn't really thinking about his height ^^;
5160140 true that. god knows im awful in trying to be anything but a friendly good wit women i am familiar with. much easier with strangers. you can be as flirty as you like, safe in the knowledge that you can easily never meet again if it does tits up in a non-literal sense.
and if it does tits up in a literal sense then mission accomplished
It's official. BEST! CHAPTER! EVER!! I demand more Flashlight.
Pegasus only pick up line.
"Are your ancestors from heaven? Your wings are beautiful"
Or another
"You make my wings as stiff as your ears"
Here for a unicorn specific pick up line
"Are you a doctor? I need you to take a look at my second horn"
This is a bit off topic, but I just realized that Kudzuhaiku provided proof for unicorns becoming repressed. The fact that Sombra was a mad pervert, and that it wasn't weird (as proven by his prestigious rank of general), and that he was a unicorn. Present day equestrian unicorns would never get that perverted without standing out in a negative way.
5160641
Yep. The cosmic corruption from Luna's absence drove the unicorns a little mad.
It's once again 5 in the morning and I misread dorkiness for darkness...
I need my coffee.
Hey, pickup lines, gud job on the last one.
If you for some reason are not planning on RainbowxTwilightXFlash then I don't know what to do with you.
5160657
But I am planning that.
5160663 That is good. I could kind of remember you saying that, or at least I think it was implied, but I had to be sure.
5160673
I just have to make it painfully awkward. Because. Jock mixing it up with two dweebs.
5160679 My terrible Fremdschamen will despise you. But I cannot wait. (There are only a couple of words that describe what I feel constantly when reading stories, that is the one with the easiest to find description)
THE PICKUP LINES
OH GOD NO
MY EYES
WHY
*dies*
I cant handle this
help
I did not cringe at any of those, but that first one had me laughing so hard my coworkers heard me all the way in the back break room. Thank you for the update to your horse words.
5160052 what do you... Oh... I'll just add a typo warning to my comments, she'll be right.