How far will one stallion run to escape what pursues him?
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Pina has taser legs.
Confirmed for best foal.
derpicdn.net/img/view/2013/9/2/416757__safe_solo_animated_derpy+hooves_text_angry_vibrating_rage_mad_epic+rage+time.gif
You''d think that of all ponies, Lyra would be capable of stopping Sentinel from shadowdiving.
After facing down Bucky's undead grandfather and his army of shadow creatures and hordes of lesser undead, the Bitters clan must face something truly frightening:
Getting their shots.
4981498
She had telekinesis going, not shadow binding wards, which are very different. No one expected Sentinel to escape so easily. Or for him to run at all.
Probably one of the funniest chapters so far. Comic relief is strong with this one. Also, chase scene for Sentinel + Benny Hill Show's Yakety Sax should be a thing
FALCON PUNCH!
Spider-pony, spider pony... (to the tune of SpiderPig)
sentinel didn't run away, it was a tactical retreat
Playing hide and seek with Sentinel is like finding a needle in a haystack, but only if said needle could look like a piece of hay
With out?
I imagine Sparkler would be remarkably difficult to inject. Unless they use a hammer and pickaxe.
4981531
Yes.
4981559
Yes, because in stone form, Sparkler has no flesh or tissue left. She is actually solid stone through and through.
They would only find stone as they chiseled down.
Also I just noticed the new description: sorry to say this, but it comes off as quite narcissistic and high-and-mighty. We(that is your regular readers) know that you're neither of these things, but other people won't know this and they'll make assumptions accordingly and generally end up causing scuffles further down the line. Can you change it to something less patronizing please? I'm only asking this because I know it'll only cause you trouble.
4981620 This author won't listen because of the high amount of upvotes he/she got. This story was originally a pretty fun fic with decent chapters involving a chase and love between Derpy and an OC. Now it's horribly disfigured because the author doesn't know what he's doing anymore and is a pretentious fuck. I do hope he goes back to the simple fun things he/she used to do because that was the best piece of him/her.
FALCON BUCK!
Ooooh as a victim of so many needles that ending was immensely satisfying.
Also, fuck this bullshit right here. Fuck it HARD.
Hey, you said there won´t be more dreadfull chapters for a while !!! You lied, kudzu !!!!
(And if you think that i´m overreacting, i have such a fear from needles that i actually, once, fainted after a test shot in my hand...)
4981629 WHOA....easy mate, put the pencil down and we all can make this out alive...slowly, very slowly...
4981620
Hmm, fair point. Will do.
I expected sentinel and some other ponies to be brave and stuff....
But hey giant needles can change minds!
And strangely not me... I don't mind pain...
Also sentinel journal entry soon? :3
4981638
I don't mind actual critisism, but if this goes into personal attacks, expect your posts to be deleted, and you will be blocked to prevent further posting. First and only warning.
4981693 Take down your description also.
4981686 There are, literally, a hundred ways to say what i gonna say, and i´ll try my best to be the more gentle possible.
Being a son from a father that, actually, died after a long and very painfull fight against cancer, i fell your last statement to be insensible, to say the least. That apart, you, and anyone, have all the right of the world to criticize this, or any author, as much as you wants. But you have no right no offend him. Personally i don´t agree with your opinion, i really like this story but you may not be touched like the rest of us was. But to simple and bluntly offend the author just ´cause the story does not go the way YOU want it to go makes no sense. The author writes, if we like, we read, if we don´t, check something else that you like. But, really, why offend ?
4981696
I do.
Azure said something, politely I might add, and I responded.
See how this works?
4981701 I'm sorry if my opinion rattles you, but I liked this story at first. It was decent. Now it's gone off the deep end.
4981702 You should take down the warning in your description, it's pretty offending.
4981704 Your opinion does not rattle me. Your offenses, and you very insensible "cancer" comment does.
And what does it means "i liked this story first" ? That you liked it before, but does not like it now ? if that´s the case, just make your point, politly, and move on to another story. or are you saying you have more "rights" uppon this sotry directions ´cause you started to read it before me (although i´m pretty sure i was on the first batch of readers but, actually, this is very irrelevant)...
Pina just sent a full grown lunar pegasus in full armor flying across the room...now I really want to see what happens when she learns control!
Ah, the dreaded vaccinations. Don't need the Equestrians getting sick, do we?
With the downtime, is going to be another lost chapter with Rising Star and his sub-herd? I think they need a bit of release right now and celebratory sex would be the logical thing to do.
4981712 This story had a great opening, but went down the line and became something it shouldn't have been. I can blame this on lack of planning done by the author. In any way, this should have been a decent short story involving the first few chapters. Then maybe a decent epilogue afterwards, but it's really just a big mess now. And the author thinks its deep for some reason. It's really not. And now I move on having dropped my final points. Onward to the next bad story.
4981704
This is the story I intended to tell though. I do apologise if you feel slighted, but this is the story I wanted to tell. Eventually, there will be a return to somewhat saner times, but if I didn't tell the story of the Isles Arc, I would be accused of telling and not showing. See, I can't win either way. If I had them vanish at the train station and then just cut to six month later and say, see, stuff happened and introduced the rest of the cast, people would be screaming at me for not writing the frigging story. So I lose either way, I get that. Understood. I accept it, have moved on, will continue writing.
If all of a sudden a huge cast of characters showed up with no introduction or background, or even a reason on why they were there, I would be guilty of bad storytelling. At least this way, I can say I told the story, even if it is a story that you didn't want to hear. It is what it is. And I am sorry that things changed.
If it is any consolation at all, things are changing again and events have moved forwards, ready to tell a different part of the story.
Originally, this was going to have Bucky in school. I could only imagine the butthurt that would have come from that.
ZOMG HE GREW UP! NOT A CUTE SCHOOL STORY ANYMORE! FUCK YOU ASSHOLE!
And people would have felt betrayed. It is unfortunate really, there is no way to avoid this.
4981715 Control ? Control is for the weaklings...PIÑA SMASH PUNY WEAKLINGS !!!!!
4981724
I have over 50k words in my story notes. Lack of planning you say?
How do you figure?
4981724 See ? Now you made a point, without offending anyone. It´s alright, you don´t like the story anymore, okay, i can understand that. I don´t agree, but, still, you have your point and none is hurt. Too much, at least.
4981731
Don't feed the troll, kudzu. This will only end in mental anguish.
4981724
lh4.googleusercontent.com/-_Ec3w-NnKsc/U4lDqLRqW5I/AAAAAAAAAgw/YpC9m_K3kGE/w1044-h587-no/Screenshot%2B2014-05-30%2Bat%2B10.48.23%2BPM.png
This is from a few months ago. It has grown. Still think this was unplanned? My story notes are longer than many of the fictions on this site. It is how I manage an incredible amount of detail and story threading.
So, is the story description a little less acerbic folks? See any room for improvement?
4981755
You could probably put the warning at the bottom and put the main description back on top.
4981755
Yeah this: 4981761
Also, That's a rather large warning. You could shorten it to "Caution: Contains complex mature controversial topics." Or something. Unless of course you really want to state that the point is to open people to self examination. If you want to do that, you can place a larger warning at the beginning of chapter 1 in the authors comments.
I was redirected here by Rage Reviews.
4981785
Be polite, be civil, and you are welcome to stay.
And we will be glad to have you.
I imagine Sparkler would turn to stone, Rising would want to burn things and be protective, Ripple would be protective, and Loch... Would sing...? I don't know not much a mare with a broken leg can do.. But I see issues comin up.
4981755 Maybe it´s a "less is more" situation. Don´t get in the details, just say it´s a mature story, controversial, warn that later chapters are dark for a while (notting that this is not a dark story, just that it have dark moments)...something like that...a story ´bout healing after being hurt.
4981820
I will consider something along these lines.
Pina uses Force Hoof(Palm). It's Super Effective!