How far will one stallion run to escape what pursues him?
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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4354021
New chapter posted, thanks for the indepth review. Fans the fires that keeps me going!
A very good chapter :3
I think this sums up the chapter...
derpicdn.net/img/2013/9/23/433512/large.jpg
.....Dude, the fuck?
4354132
4354127
So are these WTF in a good way or a bad way?
Uh... Dinky, you done fucked up.
Bucky, you just fucked your skull up worse than Berry was gonna fuck you.
4354140 Really? The end of this chapter? If Bucky knew what that spell was, I'm surprised he didn't have the counter spell. He managed to ignore the affect on him, so he should have been able to cast it, had he known it.
4354162
No counter, remember? Celestia was needed to undo the spell in Lesson Zero.
Takes type five magic to undo the spell, which is why Bucky went for Twilight.
Meh, more explanation forthcoming in time.
4354140 That was 'I just read this chapter like 5 times and that was literally the only comment I could make' xD
4354162
Oh.. And IGNORE?
He didn't exactly ignore it. He resisted, there is a difference.
4354180 Look at when it was cast in canon; none of the affected ponies even attempted to do something else. Bucky did. I didn't mean he ignored it completely, but enough to attempt to keep Dinky safe.
4354188
Neurosis as a survival technique.
Bucky resisted because he repressed. Other ponies don't usually have this level of willpower. So they would be much more affected by the spell.
In this chapter: the cost of a high Will save.
I'll be honest, I'm not entirely sure what Flitter's implying. I have my suspicions, but I'm not certain.
I shook my head at Bucky's shame in the beginning, but his epiphany made it clear why it's intensifying. He just doesn't know what to do with love. Emotion in general, really, but especially love. And that's rather sad.
(And then, of course, there was the other epiphany. I didn't know whether to laugh or sigh there.)
I don't know why, but I love reading about young unicorns learning to use their magic. There's just something about that that appeals to me on a deep level.
And even Discord has standards. I just hope it's made clear that the Want-It Need-It was self-applied.
In any case, looking forward to more.
4354199
Flitter's implying? Sorry, brain fuzzed. Where? In what context?
Wow. That was both unexpected and magnificent.
I do like that you finally showed that there is a point to unicorns encouraging neuroses, even if it's also inflicting great mental harm. It's a multifaceted issue to be sure, and I eagerly await further discussion of it.
In my mind, rigorous training could suffice in place of encouraging debilitating mental issues, but that's just an uneducated guess.
This was a high-paced chapter that I was not expecting in the slightest, and more than a little horrifying in nature. "Want It, Need It" is sort of a terrifying spell itself, though, and it's interesting that Discord gave it to ponies and yet it isn't categorized under dark magic.
I await your next chapter with bated breath.
Well... At least Bucky finally realized that it wasn't perfume he was smelling all this time.
Why am I not surprised that the "Want it, Need it" spell was made by Discord. Why is the "Want it, Need it" spell in spellbooks in the first place? Are unicorns usually so restrained that they wouldn't think of using the spell or have there been outbreaks of "Want it, Need it" and that's the real reason that Celestia is always busy?
4354259
Well, she doesn't factor too much in the specific bit, but I mean the discussion about Rumble. Who, in canon, is Thunderlane's brother. Hence my hesitance to draw what seems to be the most likely conclusion.
4354298
Out walking in the Everfree, hydra pops up, cast want it need it on some rodent.
RUN!
4354304
I have altered the canon. Pray I do not alter it further.
But yes, Flitter's foal.
Mentally exhausted, eh? You and Bucky have something in common.
So, did anypony notice that Discord shat bricks?
4354374 i did not notice that...lol
Wow featured several times.
Some odd phrasing there: might want to fix that.
Also, now I'm really eager to see the next chapter.
Wait. Why was that spell in a beginner's book? Also, why does that spell even have a reason for being and for distribution? It didn't even make sense in the episode for Twilight to have except that she should learn all magic.
How does Bucky having it make any sense?
"an obscene amount of liquid fire"
that is all.
4354450
Where does it say beginners book?
Pay more attention. Bucky's personal spell book.
Earlier in the chapter, read carefully. Forced perspectives at play.
4354450
Quoting my own post from earlier.
Dude, I think you're spoiling me with the speed these chapters come out. Woke up this morning, didn't see updates and I wondered what happened to you...
Meanwhile I haven't updated anything in months....yep, I'm a hypocrite.
Anyways this chapter was interesting, definitely in a good way. I was interested to see how you would turn neurosis into a strength, and while I can't say I expected him to resist the dreaded "Want It, Need It" spell (which I personally imagine requires a Harry Dresden level of stubbornness and flippancy) you managed to make it work so I'm not complaining.
I do however have concerns about Bucky's character arc. It's really hard to see him as "getting better" as of this point and time. If anything it feels like he's descending further into panic and fear. even though his current environment literally has nothing helpful supportive ponies who all care for him beyond a level he can adequately reciprocate. Now, on one hand this could be good overall, Bucky feels he can relax enough around these five to actually start to unpack some mental baggage and so the deeply repressed stuff can start coming to the surface...and thus explain him getting worse before he gets better etc etc. But, at this moment I think there needs to be a "breakthrough" between him and either/both of the women in his life soon, he needs to start giving back as a husband and not just a father.
Now, after that lump of criticism, some praise...
1. This whole fic feels very authentic...i.e. if the show itself were ever to tackle romance and marriage and kids, I imagine it would look something like this. Lots of hugs and warm fuzzies. It also feels very much like how sentient equines might view romance, as opposed to say humans who run primarily on a "how much can I get away with?" basis.
2. Your Berry Punch is awesome. I can't stand the "always slurring drunk" version of the character or the "overprotective parent pony". This Berry feels like a happy medium plus a whole lot extra, since she extends that balance point beyond herself and into the world around her. If Berry shows up in one of my fics, It's probably going to be your version or a close approximation thereof.
3. I like the sensuality of the fic, and the frankness with which it's presented. You've given us a situation where yes, the girls are sexy, and yes, the guy notices and yes there will be something done about it...but now is not the correct time. THAT is an accomplishment sir.
Please, keep up the good work.
4354593
Repression might not be healthy, but right now it's the only thing allowing him to interact with his still very new herd without breaking down worse than Fluttershy ever did. You can't just force someone to let go of their stress; it's a bit like a being a deep sea diver trying to deal with the pressure differential, go back up too fast and you could get the bends and die, you have to slowly let your body adjust to the lack of pressure before you can even think of getting your head above water.
This was an awesome chapter, Bucky was amazing in this. He may have a heart made of glass, but he has a will that would shame iron and when the chips are down, a steel rod for a spine. I eagerly await the next chapter, here's hoping poor Bucky gets a chance to relax, the guy's earned it.
Hmm... well, I still don't think that "repression" is the key attribute here. It's more of "self control". There's a difference.
Repression
re·pres·sion [ri-presh-uhn] Show IPA
noun
1.
the act of repressing; state of being repressed.
2.
Psychoanalysis . the rejection from consciousness of painful or disagreeable ideas, memories, feelings, or impulses.
Self Control
self-con·trol [self-kuhn-trohl, self-] Show IPA
noun
control or restraint of oneself or one's actions, feelings, etc.
While this difference is subtle, it is key. Restraint was used in the case of this incident. However, repression is almost always harmful to the psyche. As you can see from the definition, repression includes rejection from consciousness of painful or disagreeable things. Self control entails restraint, and does not necessarily indicate a rejection response. Someone who represses a memory will either "forget" it or find it hard to access where a person who places restraint on that memory can access it without having an extreme emotional response. I think this is where your argument for his repression ultimately falls short. Self control is a very good thing, but repression is not.
WOW that was scary and exciting. Bucky for Pony of the Year! Though keep your spellbook under a damn padlock sir!
I don´t know if i ask this allreasy, but is Rainbow after Thunderlane too? For me mate alsways has something to do with breed, and i see just now it could mean that as well. Cloudchaser and Flitter would be enough, i would not like to know Rainbow as well goes after Thunderlane. two with on would be enough i think three with one, well that i have to think trough.
Ohhh Dinky
Good Chapter
i THOUGHT that something had been missing from this story!
Well...that took a weird turn. Damn want-it-need-it spell rears its ugly head once more.
4354305
Well I doubt that's what Discord made the spell for but it works I suppose. Still think it's probably a bad idea that the spell is written down in general. Spells can apparently be memorized easy enough for the type 3+ magic user or at the least taught easily. Want it, Need it should be a spell that's passed down by spoken word since it would be a LOT easier to keep it out of little, curious hooves that way.
I like Discord resolving a problem like this. It kinda makes sense that he'd act this way. He may be the spirit of chaos and disharmony but even he has standards. A simple sap of the fingers and wave of the hand and all is well. Except for the unicorn having a repression seizure from magic, but still better than it was before, right? Of course Celestia's gonna come of fix the rest of it like some great caring do-gooder. I'm kidding of course, I think this chapter has opened... alot of doors. it also has noted what I think should be Bucky's catch-phrase "REPRESS EVERYTHING!"
4355558
Actually, in the context of this story, it makes sense. Remember what Berry was ranting about a chapter or two ago that, because of her family's history of herd relationships, foal(child) services didn't want to leave Pina in her care after their (monogamously married) parents died.
Now we already knew that Thunderlane and the sisters were in a herd relationship, knew that such relationships are not only not officially acknowledged by the crown, but actually looked down upon in the government. Now this chapter also tells us that the three were driven out of a less tolerant community before, so is it any wonder they're hiding the true nature of Rumble's parentage, for fear of it happening again?
I just don't like that Discord's intervention was basically Deus Ex Machina. You usually want to avoid that. The ending was still good, though.
4519711 it's clearly not deus ex machina to have discord solve the problem 10 seconds before celestia turned up.
It would have been if he'd run out of town without summoning her, and happened to bump into him.
Added word here. throws the sentence off.
Here's another one for ya.
This chapter was damn good and Discord's entrance was well done.
Most excellent.
Holy shit! That was pretty intense, in the end.
But THE very idea....
“We just want what everypony else wants,’
But he compulsion was overwhelming
sending the pressing hoard of ponies
He patted the unicorn gently on the head for a job well done looked at the foal
1. Change to a closing quotation mark.
2. His.
3. Horde. Hoarding ponies on the other hand can be quite stressing. Too many Pinkie Pies
4. You need a comma after Well Done.
Woooo! Good job Discord!
Well, then... That almost got very dark very quickly.