How far will one stallion run to escape what pursues him?
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Well... fuck. Bucky's out of a job. Filthy is going to over react to this.
Dinky... I dunno there.
So, again... FUCK!
Holy shit..... I was reading Chapter 12 and then this got posted....
You are quite the speedster. I know a lot of authors that can't write 3,000 words in a week.
I predict Bucky is fired and that DT and Silver get away with it because Cheerilee wasn't there to see it. Likely Dinky is going to be suspended or expelled.
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Some days I post 10k to 15k words, posting updates for different stories.
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Do you write all that in one day?
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Sometimes...
Sometimes I flog the demons that I have summoned from the abyss and make them man the keyboard for me.
Seriously, look at some of my stories and check the dates for the chapters when posted.
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Oh, um.... ok.
4323674 I predict Seether's prediction is right. And I will dislike being right in predicting Seether being right.
How... how would that pony get to Filthy Rich to report the incident if Cheerilee hadn't even seen it yet? What? It makes no sense that Filthy Rich and Bucky would arrive on the scene before the scene had even had a chance to be talked about/spread. Was the attack going on for 5-15 minutes where no adults were present aside from Cheerilee and instead of helping other ponies just looked and then started spreading word as quickly as possible so it could reach Filthy's office?
This was far too forced a plot point.
4323802
Surrounding town of Ponyville, pegasi overhead, the school does sit in the middle of town, etc.
Not that much of a stretch.
4323802
Also, like with everything else, you might have to wait for the scene to play out and see it from some other perspectives... Right?
Seems to be a recurring theme in this story.
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The office informant said "There’s been an incident at the school... Diamond Tiara has been assaulted!" which is past tense. I would suggest changing it to "There’s an incident happening at the school... Diamond Tiara has being assaulted!" which is present tense. This change would support this speedy communication travel scenario.
That said... if pegasi are watching this, if others are watching this long enough for commentary to travel then given the gravity of the damage described they are monsters or cowards for letting it happen without lifting a hoof to help. I hope their future perspectives will include these features when you write about it as no self respecting adult would allow a child to be so badly and grievously harmed without trying to help them, no matter how vile that child is.
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The past tense was intentional, the runner was dealing with information received second hand. You also notice that Doctor Stable and Nurse Redheart arrived there was well...
And there was one pegasi mentioned by name who happened to be on the scene. Perhaps he has some perspective on what happened.
And tell me, how do adults, even well intentioned adults, stop a swarm of bees? Once something like that happens, not much you can do to stop it. Once those events are in motion, you cannot do much but sit back and watch, and try to prepare to deal with the aftermath. It isn't like you can reason with the bees and say "alright, stop that, stop stinging!" and make the bees listen to you.
But this is getting spoilery. So I should stop. Just wait, things will be made clearer with time, just like everything else.
Good chapter, but you still have to work on this, replace some of the names with he and she. like here, the second Dinky can be she.
Helps things flow a bit better.
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I'll take it into consideration.
4323891 They'll be made clear, sure, but will they be made right? Likely not, because Filthy is the richest guy in Ponyville. Diamond Tiara is a spoiled brat whom may have received more punishment than she and Silver Spoon deserved, but at this point, all I can say is 'about damn time'!
I'm sorry, dear author, but nothing could make me sympathize with a pair of sociopathic bullies such as those two. They needed to learn that they can't push around everyone and get away with it. If it takes surviving mutilation by bees, so be it.
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I sold my soul for milk duds...
Another chapter incoming soonish.
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Draught is also a beer, making Berry Punch made out of awesome.
Because: puns.
Must resist...must...GAH!
"AHHHHRHGHHH NOT THE BEES, NOT THE BEES!"
Dinky's cutie mark is either: bees, vengeance, or vengeful bees.
also she might have to take home schooling now. also, Bucky might be out of a job.
also WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO THAT SLIDE?!
I nearly felt bad for Diamon, becuse it seems that she really could die, but she survived, so she deserved it
I think this is one of the most interesting chapters, and i am even happy with his breakdown, because it is a naturally reaction of his body.
Sometimes i felt like it needs Discord to reform Diamond Tiara into something better, i mean she is worse than him.
4325259 THEIR IN MY EYES!!!!
So, Dinky obviously just acquired the Insect Swarm Plasmid...
NOT THE BEES!!!!
...
Bees...my god...
O_O oh. My. Unholy. Fuck!
This is what we call a "180 degree turn" or a more scientific phrase: hell in an all to small hand basket
Why has no-one made the obligatory 'covered in beeeees!' joke. Man that was cathartic.
It seems like DT and SS have learned an important lesson. To paraphrase RealityCheck, if you keep on pushing someone's buttons, sooner or later your going to find the one that makes them go 'BOOM'.
I would not wish that on my worst enemy. Seriously.
1.bp.blogspot.com/-Q3BDeDdkObY/UGNgOCyhs5I/AAAAAAAADQw/bXDbsZbJxDU/s1600/oprah-bees.gif
My first thoughts when dinky summoned the beeeeeeeesssssss
4876784 your avatar picture apears to be three dimensional or im going crazy again
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Actually, don't. That's an unclear reference (I know this is a bit old, but still just in case). You don't necessarily know which "she" is referring to. A better way to write the sentence: "Diamond Tiara froze, watching as Dinky rose up into the air." No pronouns at all; completely seamless.
Isn't this the D&D saying, but modified? You know..
A Wizard to light our path, a Rogue to watch our steps, a Fighter to shoulder our lives.
Not a sound a was made
1. Extra A.
I guess you could say that Dinky had... The bees knees
5132318 Screw it! Have ALL the pronouns! I, me, my, us, we, our, you, you're, your, them, their, they, those, it, it's, its!
This came on to Pandora just as the chapter began. Seems appropriate.
Well shit, if it's from random and angered outbursts, don't let her play Call of Duty.
Ooooooh, that saying, that's nice man, that's real nice and I approve! I totally understand that.
Nice job, damn Dinky... you're such a sweet filly in headcanons... but you're a bengelful little fuck aren't ya?
...
Don't hurt me plz, friendies?
Nice job!
Well I didn't see this coming.
What was with Bucky vaporizing the slide? Was that using it as a stress ball so he wouldn't kill Filthy Rich?
Bucky be like Kylo Ren:
49.media.tumblr.com/f061802fb920797052f693fbbc74a6ef/tumblr_o02n3t9ZdM1u9v9r9o1_400.gif
6769753 More likely he won´t level down the entire city. Too much raw power, not even an inch of control over it, at this point...
Unseen speed bump, gone over without preparation. I was not prepared at all for this chapter......
Awwyeah buddy. Get my heart pumping. Whoooo!!
6953530 Speed bump? Pfft. This is like hitting a curb at almost 97 km/hr.
Well shit. Stuff happened.
*Maud like sarcastic deadpan* "Oh no, not the bees"
Misunderstanding and confusion all around, Dinky had a Mana surge trying to defend her best friend from a girl who was at that moment in time, being waaaay to stupid to live, so to speak.
Silly Diamond...Karma hurts, don't it..
I do hope Diamond and Silver recover from the attack and learn one of life's most valuable lessons: treat others with a lot more kindness in future, there is much much less risk of getting your head caved in.
They and Mr Rich will also likely learn that holding a grudge can be tiring.
Poor Bucky.
Reading on!
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Also if you remember, Bucky used only a fraction of his power during that panic attack, should he have let loose, Ponyville and a portion of Canterlot would have been instantly vaporized.
Filthy Rich could not get any dumber if he attempted to threaten Bucky.
That sentence, that is what starts it all. Buckle up boys and girls, we are going for a helluva ride.