• Member Since 26th Nov, 2012

NeverEatTheLemonsAlone


I enjoy long walks on the beach, dressing up for a formal occasion, and descending into the depths of technicolor horsey madness.

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(Trigger Warning) This fiction contains parody (if only) of modern social problems (woops, "problems" is not PC enough...so....uh..."dilemmas?").

(Trigger Warning) This fiction does not contain a lesbian, pansexual, asexual, bi-sexual, trans, or sexualsexual Main Six (We apologize in advance for having reasonable headcanons).

(Trigger Warning) For Go...(can't say the word "God" so uhhh) For Celesti....She's off too!? Bloody Hell (I don't give a shi-)! Get on with it!!! Read the freakin' story!


Twilight and her friends have been summoned by the Cutie Map to a strange community where everypony seems to be offended by even the wind going through their manes. Can our heroes understand the reasoning behind this madness? Can anypony for that matter? Does the author have enough privilege points to write this type of fiction? Tune in next time on Dragon Bal- Oh...lost my place for a second.


Go ahead and prepare to be offended by this parody!

Chapters (46)
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An insane and illogical parody of your favorite ponies.

Are you looking for a story about the magic of friendship or how great it is to be alive? Too bad! What you're getting is a story about a bitter bookworm named Twilight Sparkle who just got booted out of Canterlot and is forced to go to a little backwater town named Ponyville in order to get some sort of social life.

Will she enjoy it? No. Not at all.

Rated Teen for strong language, cartoonish violence, immature humor, and god-awful jokes.
Sex tag is for repeated mentions of sex, sexual activities, and Rainbow Dash. Just...Rainbow Dash in general.

Cover Image by the very talented Wadusher0.

Now on TV Tropes!

Chapters (78)
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This story is a sequel to Ynanhluutr


Rainbow Dash endures many trials to reach the edge of the world.

Chapters (300)
E

For Meepo, Invoker, Chaos Knight, Queen of Pain and Sand King was just a normal day: get up, kill Zeus, destroy the towers. But when a push turned rowdy get them killed, they don't respawn in the Fountain , but in the Everfree Forest, completely cut off from the Dire. Clock's ticking, and they have to get back to their dimension before their boss thinks it's too dangerous to let them prance around ponies instead of fighting and decides to cut their Contract early, effectively ending their lives.

Will there be an epic magic duel between Invoker and Twilight Sparkle ?(answer's yes)

Will Queen of Pain resist the urge of torturing to death cutesy helpless little ponies?

Is there going to be someone who actually notices Meepo since he does look like someone who could actually come from an adorable fantasy world filled with wonder and whimsy? (boy that's a long question)

What is this? Pinkie Pie and Sand King go to town and party hard? I smell geniuuuuuuus.

Read this story and find out exactly how many days it takes for a Chaos Knight to get petrified by the Elements of Harmony! (spoiler, not very long.)

Chapters (8)
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A head full of romance is what many Canterlot ponies would call a frivolous waste of time. Everypony was meant to play by the rules of high society: keep your nose in the air, laugh at important ponies' jokes, and attend all of the right parties. Upper Crust and Jet Set had been diligent in raising their daughter Crystal Wishes to be a pony everypony would know, but she wanted more out of life than that. She hoped she would someday meet a handsome prince and fall in love, just like in the stories she wrote.

Crystal knew life wasn't as easy as a foal's tale, but that didn't stop her from dreaming. All of the wishes, hopes, and dreams inside her heart escaped into her precious notebook as she wrote about princesses in power and dashing knights. So long as nopony found out her secret, she could continue to play the part of a dutiful daughter while waiting for her own love story to begin.

Chapters (110)
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Twilight had planned to visit Sunset Shimmer and her friends over in the other world for a nice, quiet weekend, away from all the worries and problems associated with being a Princess of Equestria. Unfortunately, things rarely go as planned.

After an accident cuts her off from Equestria, Twilight finds herself stuck in the human world until the gateway between the two worlds can be fixed. Which wouldn't normally be a problem...

...If she wasn't still a pony.


Now with TvTropes page!

Cover art
Proofread by Dusty Old Qrow, RQK, Dusty Tomes (Ch. 2), Emtu, and Doctor Candor.

Chapters (15)
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Sunset Shimmer has finally rebuilt her life at Canterlot High. She has friends, she's in a band, people like her, everything's going great...

And then out of nowhere, she turns back into a small talking unicorn.

Now, with the help of her friends, she has to figure out why she's suddenly a pony in a human world, and whether or not she can become human again...or will have to leave her new life and go back to Equestria.

(Cover art vector sources: Elsia-pony, TheShadowStone)

Now with a TVTropes page!

Chapters (25)
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This story is a sequel to The Life and Times of a Winning Pony


Cloud Kicker's life has been going just about perfectly. She's got a good job, two beautiful girlfriends, and she's never been on better terms with her friends. She's even getting more time with her family now that her cousin is serving as Princess Twilight Sparkle's personal bodyguard. She made mistakes in her past, but now all of that is over and she's earned her happily ever after.

Or at least, that was what she thought. Little does she know that her new life is about to start getting very complicated.

Chapters (18)
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For years, Sweetie Belle has secretly been turning to video games for relief from her insecurities. Now a talented member of an elite team of gamers from around the world, she has come to rely on her new friends for companionship and support as she bears the rising pressures of her coming-of-age.

But when a sudden gaming cutie mark reveals her secret to everyone she knows, she's forced to contend with her uncertainties over what it means for her future, along with a fresh wave of bullying at school, jealousy from her childhood friends, and mounting expectations from her family.

As she takes her first unsteady steps into adulthood, she may learn she's not the only one hiding a secret, and that her journey to self-discovery isn't one she walks alone.

A story about how kids raised in the age of the Internet have come to rely on online communities to escape from society's expectations for them and achieve the best, most authentic versions of themselves.


  ◈  Featured on Equestria Daily  ◈  9.75 / 10 on The Goodfic Bin  ◈  Fanart on DerpiBooru  ◈  
⚜ This story complies only with canon up until the end of Season 2. ⚜

Chapters (23)
E

Luna and Celestia, last survivors of the long-gone Discordian reign, recount stories and memories before the graves of those that they loved so much.

First story in the Graveverse/whatever I'm going to call this universe.

Side story: Pages in the Notebook

Chapters (1)