• Member Since 13th May, 2012
  • offline last seen August 5th

Imploding Colon


time is a crime

Sequels1

T

This story is a sequel to Ynanhluutr


Rainbow Dash endures many trials to reach the edge of the world.

Chapters (300)
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Comments ( 17368 )

Not a bad start. I like how much more fleshed out this all feels compared to the last few months of the story. I'm really not sold on how we got to this point, and you clearly can't help yourself with all the self-mutilating (I mean, c'mon, this is getting ridiculous), but I like the conflict this sets up and the challenges that will have to be faced. The whole thing feels a lot nicer when it's paced out like this as opposed to smushed into the "ending" of a book.

It is all a lot more natural, and less contrived in this setting, even if this is basically Innaeljunbyro, complete with lovable orphan scamp and random italics and backstory.

My biggest fear is that Rainbow Dash is now "evil" for evil's sake, because it's just different, not for any particular reason that's justified by the journey or the story. So she'll be challenged throughout as the rumor of her actions spread and become overblown, but I just hope that this situation is something justified within the context of Austraeoh, and not just something dramatic and imposing. It doesn't help that we're still dealing with pirate mobsters, sharing the same mannerisms as the Syndicate and countless other past villains.

Moreover, Dash has to overcome this via whatever we're calling harmony these days, so I don't know. I guess it's a Nightmare Moon parallel or something, and maybe the other elements will "save" her. That being said, we're back to the lynch pin of how rushed the last few chapters were because of how Dash really had no other choice in the end. One method or the other, 1 week or 1 year, Dash had to get through that reed. Trying to layer in a bunch of emotion at the last second and a sudden sense of urgency in order to make the ending feel "big," instead made it feel cheap, and I'm not sure how the events transpired will totally justify the region's reaction. This whole story runs the risk of being incredibly contrived (more than it is by its nature).

What I'm saying is, I hope this isn't just a bunch more hot air meant to draw readers back like a reality show during sweeps. If we're going to do this whole "Dash has to face some of the uglier consequences of her actions and not just pretend like killing, even in self-defence, is harmonious" then it needs to be ensured that these ideas are properly explored and characters don't just make giant strawman arguments.

I really wish the last book spent more time dealing with the question of what Harmony is and how one might achieve it in the face of the impossible instead of just tearing things down, literally. This is a bit of a post-hoc setup to what could be an interesting question and exploration.

Don't ruin this with constant yelling and fighting in the place of the story development that appears to have been setup.

Oh hey, look! It's the new book! Horay! *reads*


edit...
hoo-boy. lots of things to expect from this book. and lookie, we get a new scamp that will help (and probably annoy) RD with his honesty!

can't wait for the next chapter/s! :pinkiehappy:


edit 2...
for those curious what Utaan means, click this -> clicky~
:pinkiecrazy:

Here we go again!
Same old shit again!
Marching down the avenue!
Five more books and we'll be through!

6520482

If you're here this early, you must put the book in its proper group. :ajbemused:

That's a real beautiful coverpic, probably my favorite one to date.

Stark. Simple. Easily pronounceable.

“Whitemane,” spoke a strong, male voice.

The filly jolted with a flutter of her wings. Her pearl blue eyes darted right... then left. A rigid shadow crossed over her. The foal looked up, shivering.

Now this is an interesting way to start off. Backstory of Whitemane? I like.

So, she apparently has a sister, too: Mortuana. I suppose the obvious question is, "where is she now?"

“Darkreach is an experiment at best,” he said. “It is our most desperate attempt to place a hoof-hold upon the fringes of the Dark Side. If successful, it will allow us to establish a base, so that we might be able to undo the Sarosian incursion and forge a harmonic path towards the Midnight Armory.”

Hmm...call it a feeling, but I think this is very important. Perhaps...perhaps this may be the key to getting Rainbow over to the Dark Side of the plane.

Speaking of which, I wonder that the blue furrball is up to.

Also, yay! The title is pronounceable!:rainbowwild:

314

Hey look, one I can actually pronounce.

And here it goes again. I know I'm not first, grats to whomever is. HERE'S TO ANOTHER 200 CHAPTERS OF AWESOME! WHOOP!

Damn, we're already off to some amazing revelations. The alicorns made a way to get to the Dark Side? Only makes sense. And Nightmare Moon's army of sarosians retreated that far to escape Celestia's wrath and try to regroup with her? That's pretty damn incredible, and makes sense why they would know of Luna when they're so far removed from Equestria. I wonder what became of the Emeraldinian expedition to the dark side of the world, so many centuries later... I suppose we'll find out when Rainbow gets there herself.

And Skirts starts us off with three?

I'm already dancing with joy.

Rage, rage, against the dying of the light

6521063 Sooo... is it ooh-tahn, or you-tan?

“It will be many, many generations before a trip across the Plains of Magical Drought can be attempted again. Mortuana will be charged with enchanting our artifacts so that the future expedition may surpass the Blight. And you, my Morning Light, will be responsible for choosing who among Verdestone's most elite will make the trip.”

Possible reunion with Whitemane, perhaps.

New story? Onward and eastward!

omigoshomigoshomigosh! new story's up! let's see... i think it's pronounced oo-tahn, because we just had 2 stories that started with a -y- sound. oooh boy, i cannot freaking wait to catch up, that cover pic looks menacing. still in val roa, but i'll get over the grand choke someday...

God, but this was a great first chapter.

Dayum, it's been a long time since we've seen Whitemane, eh?

A few of the stallions glanced down to see the stone structures below the surface clouded by streams of crimson juices snaking east through the Quade, gathering thick and thicker, until a dense copper smell filled the air above, putrid... pungent.

:rainbowderp:
Umm....wait...what happened in the interim? I'm pretty damn sure Rainbow did everything possible so that nobody got killed, so what-

Finally, the group reached a flimsy set of platforms... and the platforms ran red. Lining the structures' edges, their sackcloth tunics torn off, dozens... hundreds of penitent monks sat, flogging themselves with whips, beads, and thorned vines. They lashed and struck themselves until there was barely any coat left clinging to their flesh—instead there was raw meat, ripped muscle, and the pale hint of bone shifting underneath. Their lungs bellowed with pained cries, their blistered tongues pronouncing all four syllables of their Goddess' name as they prayed... sobbed... bled their sins to the throbbing heavens.

....
...Okay, 1) Oh...Sweet...Jesus...:twilightoops: and
2) ...You...I just...you fools...I don't understand you at all.:ajsleepy:

Thalian glanced at him, then at Menthe. “Who, Menthe? Who did all of this?”

Menthe stared back. He glared. At last, with a growling voice, he opened his bloodied mouth:


“A rainbow pegasus... from the far west!” Thalian exclaimed.

Ohhhhhhhhhh, and it begins.:facehoof:

“Menthe says she had two friends with her,” Thalian said. “A pegasus stallion and a silent griffon who communicated via Wyvern signs.

Crap...they ended up getting marked too.:facehoof:

"Then I know exactly why she did what she did!"

The other squinted at her companion in the glinting sunlight. "And why is that?"

"By attacking Verlaxion's children, she was working her way to the top!" A devilish grin. "What greater sport is there than baiting the Goddess herself?!"

"Hah! Then this Rainbow Rogue has enviable blood indeed!"

"Yes! Hah hah hah!"

"Whoop!"

...Whelp, at least boneheaded Nealanders will still be boneheaded Nealanders.:applejackunsure:

Little colts and fillies jumped rope along the eastern docks of Kihutaja.

Between the blazing horns of trade ships coming to and from port and the cries of seagulls overhead, they sang in the rhythm of their hopping exercise.

“Rainbow Rogue. Went to the Quade.”

“Burned all the plants that the pilgrims made.”

“First came the axe. Then came the flame.”

“Then she cursed Verlaxion's name.”

Okay, I think my mind made this a lot more terrifying than it really is. Echoing singing/chanting children's voices, man...:rainbowderp:

*sigh*...Rainbow's trip is going to be hell.

And here we see three factors that twist the truth in one sitting: time, distance, and word of mouth. I'm beginning to see where deception and dishonesty come into play.

Hmmm, seems news spreads fast, and not only does it spread fast, it polarizes widely. RD went from being labeled as a criminal and psychopath to a rainbow demon that does all sorts of terrible things. In all honesty, the hyperbole might help her avoid immediate detection, but if anypony looks hard enough, they're going to draw the dots and connect her back to the Quade.

I guess Rainbow didn't do it the bloodless way after all...

Verlax's plan is in high gear. Isolated from everypony else in this portion of the world, Rainbow is going to have to rely on herself and only herself to make it to Applejack... along with a heaping of dishonesty just to survive.

Oh, how I love this trope. Probably most famously used in the Kingkiller Chronicles by Rothfuss, it's always fascinating to watch myths spreading about. Particularly nice was the occasional positive reception, though the distance makes it unlikely to have any effect on Rainbow . . . and, of course the attribution of violence to her is shitty and natural. Ugh.

And the Luminard's are handling this about as well as expected. Which is to say, in literally the worst way possible. Here's hoping it's nothing permamnent, though the instantaneous response by Thalian to lend as much aid as possible is heartwarming.

6521116

It has. And it's now clear that Rainbow will have to bath in their blood. Blood is a theme now. Blood and burning, healing and hurting. Shedding old corruption for new truth, peace for pain and pain for peace?

Nah, just magic blood shenanigans to make the trip survivable for RD.

Hap

That's something.

*shudders*

well shit, rumors spread like wildfire and the tale only gets worse the further from the source it gets.

Wow.

Not exactly the attention Rainbow wants right now... :rainbowderp:

so that we may embrace the Glorious Cycle together, and stave off darkness forever more.

Ah, so it seems the alicorns believe in the same cycle as Verlax. So that's one part of her philosophy that we know isn't insane. :pinkiecrazy:

Poor Whitemane. I wonder what happened to Mortuana? Why weren't there more alicorn foals born? Perhaps we'll find out in the next chapter.

-Spirit (Utter and Yon)

“Eugh... not more of this Rainbow Rogue stuff...”

Well, at least there's the "telephone line" issue distorting the story, so Rainbow has that going for her.:applejackunsure:

“Burnt to a crisp! Total bloat! On account of some demon pendant around the monster's neck!”

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeexcept for that. That's a quality that can't go away or easily be hidden.:facehoof:

The little coat breezed passed multiple stallions hard at work in hammering brass pipework together, fusing broken steam vents and testing them for structural stability.

I think you meant "colt" there. Speaking of which...

“Just a bunch of notes from the dredge harvest! Honest!”

“Honest! Honest!” A particularly large colt smirked and dove in. “Gimme that note!”

“Heh... don't be honest, sea foam. It'll starve you someday.”

...Yeah, as if the narrative focusing on him this chapter wasn't obvious enough, Swab is definitely going to be part of Rainbow's party. Or at least a major character.

6521096
...Nevermind, now it's not simple anymore. You had to go ruin it.:facehoof:

Also, congrats on the cameo.:derpytongue2:

Welp we found Kera 2.0, now with fewer ears and cutie marks.

Can't wait to see what happens when Rainbow makes her inevitable landfall here, with a broken wing, no less.

“Hey! Hey!” The guard snarled, frowning this time. He stuck a very real bolt into the very real turret. “Tell me that I got ya!”
Swab blew his brown bangs out before his eyes. “...you got me, Saxon.”
“Heeheehee!” Saxon pounded the edge of his tower and laughed. “I sure did, ya half-headed freak! Snkkt! Hahaha!”

...well, that just happened.

Onwards to the next part of the adventure.

This was actually kinda fun... although still terrible for Rainbow.
I mean, she's world-famous now, so that's nice, but it's not exactly the reputation she was going for.
Ah well, can't win 'em all.

I'm excited. Clear-cut conflict, but even better, it's all conflict founded on rumour and misinformation, while Rainbow's going after AJ. Perfect.
The Whitemane prologue could foreshadow a group crossing the Grand Choke to assist, or Rainbow finding remnants of Verdestone's expeditions at the edge, or just exist for flavour.
Biggest question I have at the moment, since you're clearly going to make us wait to see how Rainbow's getting along, is where this Red Bargee is, geographically. The story is gearing up for some Val Roa political machinations, with Verlax leaning over the gameboard with a giant fuck-you talon ready to stir the pot, and we're only glimpsing the edges.

Get hype.

6521113 ... What pace are you reading at, out of curiosity?

6521096 Ooh-tahn. The tahn is slightly extended in syllable length.

You literally have no idea what I'm going to have to do to catch up on this story...

To put it in perspective, from where I am, about 4 solid books behind, I'll have to read about 120,000 words a day to catch up to this story before Halo 5 comes out. To put it another way, I could read the entire Harry Potter series from beginning to end and The Lord of the Rings Trilogy with the Hobbit tacked on as well and read fewer words than what I'd have to do to catch up with this series.

Wish me luck because I was able to marathon through book 3 in a weekend and now I'll have to do 4 more within 2 weeks. If I start malfunctioning and thinking I'm somewhere between the Frozen Sea and the Grand Choke or in the Machine World, please call the police.

Will Menthe be the new Shell?

“Heh... don't be honest, sea foam. It'll starve you someday.”

That'll be important i bet...wonder when we'll start seeing from Dash's perspective again.

Once more into the breach for another 197 days.

How many chapters before we see Rainbow again? I'm guessing 20.

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