Cliffhangers are Evil, but Fun
I was glad to head home after finishing up another day of work, or at least doing a ton of paperwork in the office while everypony else on the weather team did actual cloudbusting. Eepy and Blossom had gone to Canterlot for the day to restock on some of her animal supplies. Needless to say they’d vetoed the pregnant mare helping them carry fifty pound bags of birdseed, so I was by myself for the moment, having a snack. Of course, nopony was going to leave my pregnant self alone for too long; goodness knows what might happen. Fluttershy had already rearranged half her furniture to try and make things safer for me, and I’m pretty sure she was planning to add padding to all the sharp corners too.
I was in the middle of having that quick after-work snack when Derpy knocked on the door. She then sheepishly stepped over the door after it fell off its hinges. “I’ll take care of that later.” She cleared her throat and smiled at me, then blinked and did a quick double take. “Oh. I see the cravings are setting in.”
I frowned skeptically at her. “What are you talking about?”
“You know, cravings.” She nodded sagely. “The odd urge to eat foods you wouldn't normally eat? Lots of pregnant mares get them. Don’t forget the spinach-pickle-and-thyme muffins I made while I was carrying Dinky, and Mrs. Cake told me she went through half a bag of sugar while she was carrying her twins.”
“I know what cravings are, Derpaderp,” I grumbled halfheartedly. “I'm not having cravings, this is just a snack. Normal ponies have snacks.”
Derpy shot me a flat look, or as flat as she could with her eyes. “Cloud, you’re eating an entire loaf of bread.” She sniffed it a couple times, then grimaced. “And ... did you douse it in apple vinegar?”
I defensively tugged my bread protectively to my chest, to guard it against the mare who refused to acknowledge its tastiness. “What? It's good! Besides, I didn’t douse it. I marinated it.”
“Of course you did,” Derpy responded patiently with a placating smile. “Honestly, this is still pretty tame. Makes me curious to find out what the weird ones will be.”
“It's not a craving to eat things that normal ponies would agree taste good,” I grumbled under my breath. “Seriously, how can you say there’s something weird about what I’m eating when you’ve never even tried it? For all you know, it could be delicious.” I extended the half-eaten loaf of bread towards her.
Derpy sniffed it once more, then flinched back. “I'll pass, thanks. And sweetie, when have you ever eaten this before?”
“I just discovered it.” I’d been poking through the pantry for something that would make a good snack, and something about the bread and apple vinegar just ... called to me. “I can try new food. There's nothing weird about that.”
“Whatever you say, Cloud.” Derpy flopped back into one of Fluttershy’s comfy chairs, hitting me with a smile that was equal parts knowing and patiently indulgent. “Oh, fair warning, if you find yourself with a craving for wet cement, do not indulge it. It won’t end well. Just trust me on that.” She paused in thought, then flitted away to grab a trash can and set it in by the couch. “Just in case your body decides your very normal snack isn't what it wants. Believe me, I had that happen with those spinach-pickle-and-thyme muffins.”
I snickered. “I still can't believe you ate those.” I chomped down on my bread, only to get hit by a particularly potent wave of vinegar taste—like somepony took a sandblaster, filled it up with acid, and then turned it loose on my mouth. I gasped and wheezed, trying to remember how my lungs were supposed to work.
Derpy yelped and rushed to my side, knocking the trash can over in the process. “Cloud, are you okay? Can you breathe?!”
“F-Fi ... fine,” I gasped out, my eyes watering. “Although I think a little too much vinegar soaked into that bite.”
Derpy gently rubbed my back until I was more-or-less back to normal. “Okay, don’t worry, I have a bit of experience from the last time I tried cooking with vinegar. I thought the recipe said 2 tablespoons when it was actually half a teaspoon. Which at least wasn’t as bad as the time I grabbed the wrong spices while cooking for my parents. If I’d known Dad’s saffron was worth two thousand bits a pound...” She sighed and shook her head. “ Anyway, I'll get you something to drink.”
“Sounds good.” As soon as Derpy finished pouring me a glass of lemonade I gulped it down, my shoulders slumping in relief as the pain faded. “Oh ... oof. Thanks, Derpy.” I leaned against her, slowly relaxing as I forced myself to admit the ugly truth. “Okay, so maybe that was a little bit of a craving.”
“Oh, Cloud...” Derpy hugged me, but when she grabbed a napkin to dab at my eyes I quickly took it away from her. Not that I didn’t appreciate the gesture, but letting Derpy’s hooves near my eyes was just ... good intentions only counted for so much. Derpy accepted my caution with a chuckle and an understanding smile. “I'll spare you the ‘I told you so’ just this once, if only because I know exactly what you’re going through.”
“Thanks. Just don’t tell Rainbow.” Derpy might be merciful, but Rainbow would never let me hear the end of this. “So, what brings you by?”
“Aside from wanting to check up on my pregnant best friend?” She grinned and pulled off her saddlebags, setting them down on the table. “Dinky made you a batch of muffins, and if I didn’t get them over here they wouldn’t have made it through the night.” She opened up her bag and pulled out a container that was almost full, though one of the muffins was missing a rather large bite. “She wanted to make sure you two had plenty to eat. And, apparently, also wanted to make sure they were good enough for the two of you. Which, come to think of it...” She took the half-eaten muffin and polished it off. “Mmm ... yes ... you’ll be fine.”
I grinned and chuckled. “Nice of you two. Thanks.”
She smiled gratefully. “Oh yes, she's so excited for you. Okay, we all are, but she has the most time to bake, what with me helping Sparkler get ready for...” She trailed off, then sharply shook her head. “Yes, helping Sparkler. She’s quite busy. Anyway, do you mind if I…?” She slowly reached out towards my belly bump.
I rolled my eyes, but by now I was used to ponies rubbing my stomach like it was some sort of good luck charm. “Go for it.”
“Thanks.” She slowly and carefully rubbed my belly. It still felt weird to see that bump there, and know there was a kid inside it. Then again, this whole pregnancy thing felt weird. Derpy smiled wistfully. “This brings back so many memories...”
“I guess you were on the receiving end of a lot of this,” I conceded. Come to think of it, I’d almost certainly rubbed her baby bump a couple times myself, though I was far from the worst offender. “Rainbow couldn't keep her hooves off you.”
Derpy snickered and nodded. “Oh yes, she utterly spoiled me. And she's probably only going to be worse this time around.”
I grinned and flopped back on the couch. “Ooooh, I enjoy being pampered. I’ll have to take advantage of that.”
Derpy answered with a teasing grin, “Careful what you wish for. Rainbow doesn’t do things halfway, so if you try to get her to start pampering you...” She chuckled and shook her head. “But seriously, you're in for a good time. Be sure to bug her for a hoof massage, she’s surprisingly good at them.” Her smile turned wistful, her hoof slowing to rest on my stomach. “I remember the first time I noticed I was showing. Rainbow was so excited...” She sighed her hoof slowly shifting back to her own stomach. “I'd just finished a shower and didn't even think twice about my reflection until I felt it. Then I couldn't stop seeing it. It was the first time it really sank in, I think.” She stared at my stomach for a long moment, she sheepishly grinned at me. “Sorry, just ... it's a good memory for me.”
“Sounds cute.” A faint grimace flickered across my face. “And it sounds like you enjoyed being pregnant a lot more than I am.” I was starting to suspect that all the talk about how magical and wonderful pregnancy was came from mares talking with several years of nostalgia and hindsight between them and all the bloating, cramping, puking, and general soreness and crankiness. Not to mention Derpy got an amazing kid like Dinky out of the whole thing. For all I knew, I might end up pulling a Mom and having a kid who’s a huge disappoint—
No. Nope. Nuh-uh. That’s not happening. I have no idea what kind of mother I’ll be, but it won’t be one like Mom. I’m always going to be proud and supportive of my kid, no matter what they end up doing. Well, unless it’s something really messed up, and considering my genes are in the mix that’s a definite possibility.
Derpy carefully hugged me. “Sorry. Trust me, I remember the unpleasant parts too. But that’s only for a little bit, and once all that’s over you’ll have your child forever, I wouldn’t be thinking about going through it again if I didn’t think it was worth it.”
I hugged back, enjoying her pleasant muffiny scent. “No need to apologize, Derpaderp. Unless you somehow got me preggers...”
Derpy snorted and bopped me on the nose. “No, I think I'm a little outside of that timeframe. Well, unless we count you occasionally sneaking a peak at my butt.”
In my defense, it was a nice butt. Though if that was all it took to cause pregnancy, I would’ve been sitting on a huge litter of foals right now. “Point taken. I suppose you and Rainbow will just have to live with being honorary aunts. Or at least whoever loses the inevitable epic, drawn out, no-holds-barred, take-no-prisoners, fight-to-the-bitter-end battle over who will be my kid’s godmother will have to live with that.”
She chuckled softly. “I was planning to wait until cider season, let her drink her fill, then lock the bathroom door and refuse to give her the key until she surrenders.”
I whistled appreciatively. “Wow, you fight dirty. Just be careful, she is one of Ponyville’s best pranksters, and you can bet she’ll have some nasty tricks of her own up her sleeve. Not to mention how incredibly stubborn she can get.”
“Clearly somepony you want to be a major influence on your child’s life,” Derpy answered dryly, though her smile took any bite out of the remark. “Five bits says Rainbow’ll try to make the foal say her name for its first word.”
“No bet, I saw her do it with Dinky.” Like Derpy said, Rainbow doesn’t do things halfway. She went all out when it came to godmothering Dinky, to the point of almost being a second parent at times. “Rainbow's a big old sweet softie ... not that she'd ever admit it.”
“Certainly not where anypony might hear,” Derpy agreed. “Or without noogies, anyway.”
“Noogies are just Rainbow-ese for ‘I love you,’” I pointed out. “Or, ‘You're right but I'll never admit it.’ Or ‘I am asserting my dominance in our friendship by reminding you of how awesome I am.’ It’s a flexible language that way.”
“It really is.” Derpy tapped her chin thoughtfully. “Come to think of it, I bet she had an influence on how Dinky developed the universal language of the hug. I suppose that’s far from the worst influence Rainbow could have on her.”
“Yeah, at least she’s not trying to do some crazy death-defying stunts or put way too much effort into being cool.” I loved Rainbow to bits and thought she was great as a cool adult for kids to look up to, but that didn’t mean they should follow her example in every detail. “Speaking of the kids, I could use some dinner, if you don’t mind a houseguest.”
“Actually...” Derpy grinned and nudged me. “I figured you’d be eager to get a free meal out of me, so I had Dinky and Sparkler finish something up while I came by to check on you. Well, more like Sparkler asked me to go check on you after the ... um ... well let’s just say there won’t be any rice with this meal. So is it just you, or should I get some plates ready for Fluttershy and Blossomforth?”
“As far as I know, it's just me.” Fluttershy’s resupply trips to Canterlot usually ran pretty long, since she’d run across a dozen random things that would be just perfect for one of her animals. Besides, when it came to dinner they’d be silly to not take advantage of all the great restaurants in the city. Not that Ponyville’s dining was bad, but it didn’t have nearly as much variety.
Derpy smiled and shrugged. “More for the rest of us, then. So, looks like you’ve settled in quite nicely. How’s the foal’s room coming along?”
“It’s ... coming.” Truth be told, it was one of those things we hadn’t really gotten to taking care of yet. Especially since it would mean booting some of Fluttershy’s animals out of one of the rooms. Or rather, convincing Fluttershy to go along with booting her animals out of one of the rooms. Yeah, her pet bear might be a surprisingly friendly ball of fuzz, but that didn’t mean I wanted him sharing a room with a newborn.
“Right.” Derpy nodded along, “I’d offer to help, but...” She grinned sheepishly, not even bothering to point out the obvious.
“I understand completely,” I assured her. “You’d love to help, but we all remember what happened the last time you tried to help with remodeling.”
“Yeah, but we got the paint out of the carpet after a while.” She paused frowning to herself. “No wait, that was the time before last. Last time was ... you managed to fix the hole in the floor eventually, right? Or was that Town Hall…? In my defense, that building was in terrible shape before I touched it.”
“I think it’s not so much any one incident as it is the fact that there have been so many of them that they’ve all started to blur together,” I pointed out. “For what it’s worth, you will be our first choice if we ever want to start tearing a building down.”
She chuckled and nodded. “I suppose we might as well play to my strengths. Then again, knowing my luck if I tried to knock down a building on purpose it would end up somehow becoming completely indestructible.”
“Derp works in mysterious ways.” I conceded. If Derpy’s talent for accidental mayhem could be controlled and directed, it wouldn’t really be accidental mayhem anymore.
Any further speculation on the exact mechanics of Derpy’s derpy-ness came to an abrupt end with a sharp rap on the open frame of our front door. “Special delivery from Snark Industries, and our subsidiary Foalhugs Incorporated.”
I snickered and trotted over to welcome Derpy’s girls, stepping over the fallen front door. “Come on in, and dare I ask how you were able to buy out Dinky’s company?”
Sparkler smirked at me, “I bribed their CEO with cookies.”
Said CEO barreled through the door and latched onto my leg with one of her trademarked hugs. A hug that hit a little bit harder than it would have a few months ago. Dinky was starting to hit that age where every time I saw her I could swear she’d gained another centimeter. If this kept up Foalhugs Incorporated might start having some long-term problems with their business model.
“Hi Cloud!” she chirped up at me with an enthusiastic smile. Once I returned it, she shifted her focus to my foal-bump, nuzzling it. “Hey in there! I'm Dinky, and I love you! I can’t wait to meetcha so we can hug and play games and I can teach you all kindsa cool stuff like how tasty muffins are!”
Sparkler chuckled at her little sister’s antics, her horn glowing as she pulled a decent-sized pot out of her saddlebags. “Hey, Momma. Hope you're up for potato soup. We kinda had to improvise after a kitchen ... well, Mom probably told you.”
“I’m pretty familiar with how it goes, yeah.” I’d long since passed the point where the latest accident on Derpy’s part became just one of those boring facts of life. I’d say mentioning her mishaps was on par with discussing the weather, but since I’m a weatherpony discussing the weather is actually a fairly important thing for me. “So, potato soup, is it? Well I like that just fine, and it certainly smells good.”
“Mom figured you’d appreciate a free meal,” Sparkler snarked, levitating the pot into the kitchen. “Can’t have you running about barehooved and pregnant in the kitchen, it’s just too stereotypical. Besides, it gives us an excuse to visit our semi-co-godkid.”
“I dunno what it is anymore,” Dinky grumbled, releasing the hug so she could flail dramatically. “‘Cause I'm Rainbow's godkid an' Sparky's sister an' her niece an' now you're gonna have a foal an' Sparky's your kinda-daughter. But then she also gets all cootie-faced with your cousin Star, which means she’s...” She groaned and clutched her head. “I'm sooo confuuused. I dunno what I even am for your foal!”
I ruffled her mane. “You're Dinky. At this point, trying to hammer out the exact details of our half-literal, half-metaphorical and half-honorary family tree is just gonna lead to headaches.”
Sparkler frowned at me. “You know that means there’s three halves to it, right?”
“Explains why we all find it so confusing, doesn’t it?” I shot back.
She snorted and nodded. “Fair enough. I suppose just calling her Dinky is easier than sorta-sis.”
“Yeah, but I wanna be special,” Dinky pouted. “I’m already a Dinky for everypony, so for the baby I wanna be a super-special Dinky um ... something!”
“How about if I put you at the top of my foalsitter list?” I offered. Dinky would be at a good age for that by the time my kid got old enough to be trusted with a foalsitter.
Wow. That was weird to think about. I still wasn’t even completely used to the idea that I was having a kid at all, and here I was pondering who would foalsit for it once it was five years old. What next, worrying about college savings? Assuming my kid didn’t go to West Hoof, which was ... gah. Maybe I should just shelve that entire line of thought until I didn’t have company over. Or until college wasn’t a couple decades away.
Speaking of which... “How’s the college prep going, Sparks?”
She flicked a glance to her mother, then nodded. “Pretty good. Kinda leaning towards going with the School for Gifted Unicorns. No offense to West Hoof, but it’s kinda a school you only go to if you really wanna stick with the Guard. I’m not saying I might not go with that, but...”
“If you’re not one hundred percent sure, it makes sense to keep your options open,” Derpy cut in, her smile turning a touch brittle.
After a moment’s consideration I decided to play it safe and agree with her. Sparkler might have nicknamed me Momma, but they were still Derpy’s kids. “Yeah, my military science degree isn’t the best for job-hunting outside the Guard. I was lucky Rainbow could hook me up with a good job in a decently high-paying field.” Granted, I would’ve been a lot better off if I’d earned any of the usual veteran benefits instead of bailing on my service, but no use crying over past mistakes.
“S’what Mom keeps saying,” Sparkler murmured halfheartedly. “I dunno, it all makes sense and everything, s’just...”
“You’re a teenager, and thus instinctively driven to do the opposite of whatever your parental authority figures think would be best?” I suggested.
“I’d agree with you, but doing so would go against that instinct.” Sparkler shot a halfhearted glare my way, only to relent a second later. “Besides, s’not just that. It’s ... I dunno. S’a big decision, is all.”
Well, I certainly couldn’t argue with her on that point. My life probably would’ve turned out completely different if I’d gone somewhere other than West Hoof. Maybe I wouldn’t have had the big falling out with Mom, or wound up living in Ponyville. Maybe I wouldn’t have felt so pressured about going into the Guard if I hadn’t spent four years getting a military education. In light of that, I could hardly blame Sparkler for waffling a bit. In any case, my romantic history made it plain I was the last pony to give anyone grief over vacillating.
I ruffled Dinky’s mane to distract myself from more pointless pondering. “Anyway, speaking of my most awesome and cool friend, where's Rainbow at? Still hiding in a cloud making sure I don’t trip and fall on my stomach?”
“Yup!” Dinky announced, only to pause and frown a second later. “But I'm not supposed ta tell you that.”
“That explains why that one moved against the wind to follow us...” Sparkler murmured under her breath.
“Seriously?” I frowned skeptically at the two of them. “You know I was joking about that, right? Is she actually getting that worked up?”
“You remember what she was like when I was pregnant, don’t you?” Derpy chimed in. “Like the time she wanted to try and carry me everywhere because she was scared I might ... well, have a little accident. Or all the different health foods she tried to get me to eat. Thank goodness I managed to scare her off from that by asking her to eat it with me.” She chuckled and shook her head. “And even once Dinky was born ... well, there was the time Rainbow had a panic attack about not being a good enough godmother for her.”
“Okay, fair point.” I still wasn’t exactly used to worrywart Dash, since she was usually so laid back and easygoing. I guess the change was down to the fact that kids are serious business, or maybe it was just Rainbow’s way of showing she cared. Or maybe ... well, since having kids would be hard for her, maybe that was why she got so excited whenever somepony she knew was pregnant. Like a proxy thing or something.
“She's so silly sometimes.” Dinky hopped over to the kitchen, and a moment later hopped back out, almost effortlessly levitating a bowl full of steaming potato soup. “Are ya hungry, Cloud?” She was getting quite good with her magic, since none of it came close to spilling. Incidentally, one of the fun little details of living with Fluttershy was never needing to worry about food spills. Some critter would clean the food up within minutes.
“I wouldn't say no to some food.” I took a few spoonfuls of the soup, until inspiration struck. I tore off a chunk of apple vinegar soaked bread and dunked it into the soup. It was perfect; the soup took a bit of the bite out of all the vinegar, rendering it edible and delicious once more.
Derpy winced, while Sparkler directed a baffled look my way. Dinky, bless her heart, seemed to take my new culinary discovery in stride. It can’t have been the strangest thing she’d ever seen somepony eat in the House of Derp.
Sparkler finally broke the silence. “Am I going nuts, or is Cloud eating bread soaked in some really nasty-smelling stuff?”
“Going nuts would imply you’re not already crazy,” I pointed out. “Pretty sure the jury’s still out on that one. I mean, you do have all those teenage hormones bouncing around in your head, making you want to ... whatever it is crazy teenagers do these days. Do you still dress up in black and write terrible poetry about how dark, deep, or tortured you are, or did that go out of style?”
“More out of style than nylon bell-bottoms,” Sparkler said. “Nowadays, we skip the terrible clothes and put the hormones to work stress-testing stuff like silence spells with test subjects like Star. It saves on time, clothes, and embarrassing pictures that our parents would otherwise use against us in the future.”
Derpy groaned and put her hooves over her ears. “Sparkler, for the love of Celestia...”
Dinky frowned curiously at her sister. “What do you mean stress-testing silence spells with Star? Do you two just go into your bedroom and yell all night?”
“Something like that,” Sparkler tried very hard to hide her smirk, only to have it quickly wiped away by her mother’s disapproving glower.
“Anyway!” Derpy cut in before her daughter could cause any more havoc. “New subject ... um ... does anypony else see that strange cloud?” She pointed out the window, towards a cloud that had a tiny bit of rainbow mane poking out the top.
I jumped on the opportunity to defuse any potential family drama, especially since Derpy might blame me a bit for Sparkler’s attitude. To be fair, she never would’ve met Star if not for me, and I probably didn’t do much to encourage her to be ... well, less like me. Shadow knows I’d never intended to wind up being a role model, but somehow it had happened anyway.
So my motives weren’t entirely altruistic when I threw open the window and poked my head out. “You might as well come on in, Dash. You’re not fooling anypony, and besides, we’ve got plenty of free food.” I paused and glanced back to Derpy. “Well, unless you want to charge her for it.”
“No, we’re going to have leftovers anyway,” Derpy assured me. “After all, we wanted to have enough for Blossom and Fluttershy if they were here. So that should leave us just enough for Rainbow Dash.”
Dash made a valiant but utterly doomed attempt to pretend we hadn’t outed her. She ducked her bit of exposed mane back into cover, then raised her voice a few octaves. “No Rainbow here! I'm a cloud! Beep beep!”
Derpy snickered. “No, I'm pretty sure this is a Cloud.” She gave me a friendly little pat on the back. “A Cloud Kicker in point of fact. So if you are a cloud, then she’d probably want to kick you, wouldn’t she?”
“Bah.” Rainbow gave up and poked her head out of the cloud, then flitted down. “Okay, okay, ya got me. It’s not like I was really trying that hard to be sneaky anyway.” She flew in through the open window, pausing to check my soup bowl and sniff approvingly. “Hey everypony, this house just got cooler.”
She swooped over to Dinky, intending to scoop her up for some godmotherly hugs. However, her plan to swoop in and snatch up Dinky hadn’t quite accounted for Dinky’s recent growth. Instead of easily scooping the young filly up, Rainbow stopped in midair with a surprised grunt. She pulled it off on her second try, only to let out a loud wheeze as Dinky’s more noticeable weight settled onto her chest. I could see her straining a bit to keep the kid up, though Rainbow struggled to keep a straight face and stubbornly refused to acknowledge reality.
It wasn’t long before Dinky started wriggling in her grasp, which just made it even harder for Rainbow to keep her up. “Rainbow, uh, can you just—this is kinda ... not working so good.”
I couldn’t resist the glorious snarking opportunity that had just landed in my lap. “Oh no, Rainbow's forgotten how to hug. The world is ending.”
Rainbow rolled her eyes, but otherwise kept her attention on Dinky. After a few more failed attempts, she finally gave into the inevitable and acknowledged that Dinky had actually grown. She dropped down to the floor and gave her a more conventional hug rather than the sort she’d used ever since Dinky was tiny enough that her name was quite fitting.
Sparkler snickered at the scene. “At this rate, Dinky’s gonna need a new name. Wonder what size she’ll end up being anyway? Kinda hope it’s Big Mac sized, so her name still works. Just, y’know, it’d seem ironic instead of literal.”
Rainbow snorted and shook her head. “Would be kinda funny, but I don’t see it happening. I mean, Derpy’s not freakishly huge or anything, and neither is anypony on ... er, the other side of her family.” She frowned and shook her head. “Okay, Twi’s a little tall now, but that only happened after she became an alicorn. By that standard, she’s still tiny. Cadance is a head taller than her, and let’s not even talk about Celestia and Luna.”
“Not to mention my cousin’s still taller than her without any alicorn-ness,” I pointed out. “Hay, I’m about the same height, and I probably weigh more.” I immediately put up a hoof to cut off Rainbow’s inevitable response. “Don’t. Just ... don’t.”
“It’s not fun when you make it that easy,” she answered. “Besides, we both know you’d blame it on the baby bump, even though you were heavier than she was way before you got preggo.” She smirked, then turned her attention to my guests. “So, you guys checking on the Cloud-kid?”
“Hay yeah,” Sparks answered with a grin. “Since Cloud’s kinda my honorary mom, makes her kid my sorta-sibling, right?” She paused, frowning to herself. “The newest one. My list of semi-honorary siblings and blood relatives is a bit confusing right now.”
“They’re also feeding me,” I pointed out, “since apparently nopony approves of my diet.”
Derpy answered me with a flat look. “That's because nopony eats bread doused in apple vinegar. You even admitted you were just having a weird craving. And while I completely empathize with what you’re going through right now and don’t blame you for indulging a craving, you really should eat some proper food.”
“I am,” I dunked my bread in the soup once more. “See, look at me eating your delicious soup along with my delicious bread.”
Rainbow frowned skeptically at my meal. “Uh ... yeah, I see that. So, looks like you’re doing pretty good so far.”
I nodded along. “Pretty good, aside from all the ponies not believing in my snacks.” I tore off a bit of bread and offered it to her. “Seriously, try some of this, it’s great.”
Rainbow sniffed the bread, then scooted back. “I'll pass, thanks. Also, you never get to say anything bad about my cooking again. Ever.”
Sparkler smirked at me and nodded approvingly. “Getting more soup for yourself by poisoning the competition? I guess that's one way to do it, though you usually wanna try to be more subtle about it. Offer Rainbow something she’d want to eat; I’d use muffins or cookies for Dinky.” She paused, then hastily added. “Er, hypothetically. Just doing a thought exercise.”
“Brattydumb Sparky,” Dinky grumbled. “I’m not eatin’ anythin’ you give me ever again.”
“So that means I get all the muffins and cookies to myself?” Sparks declared, her smirk widening triumphantly. “After all, you never know what I mighta messed with. Mwahaha! My master plan has finally succeeded!”
Dinky grimaced as she tried to find a way out of the dilemma. Either she let Sparkler have all the good food, or she risked letting herself be poisoned. In the end, she took the only solution she could find: she appealed to a higher power. “Mooom! Rainbow! Sparky’s bratting again! Make her stop bein’ a brat!”
Derpy chuckled and shook her head. “What do you think I’ve been doing for the last five years, muffin?” She turned to me, playfully glaring. “See what you did, Cloud? You just had to inspire my daughter with a new idea for mischief.”
“In my defense, historical precedent indicates that Sparkler would’ve come up with something just fine on her own, and my cousins are proof that sibling rivalries can be intense and extend well into adulthood without any outside encouragement.” I shook my head. “Besides, the poison thing is a weak link anyway. Seriously, if you just tried this bread you'd agree it's great.”
Rainbow answered me with a flat look. “Cloud, if you weren't pregnant and riding the hormone and craving crazy train right now, you'd think it was awful and think anyone who liked it was halfway around the bend.”
“Bah,” I took another bite of delicious bread. “I'm surrounded by culinary cowards.”
“I'll try some!” Dinky chirped out, abandoning Rainbow to trot over to my side. “Gramma says you should always try everything once to be nice.”
“She ... does say that,” Derpy conceded, before hastily amending. “Muffin, I think we can make an exception for this.”
I wasn’t about to let Derpy kill my momentum. “That's my Dinky, bravest one here.” I smirked at Rainbow. “Way braver than a certain fearlessly awesome mare who happens to be in this room right now.”
Dash rolled her eyes. “I just know the difference between courage and stupidity.”
Instead of answering her, I decided to let my actions speak for themselves. I tore off a chunk of bread and passed it to Dinky. She sniffed it, then very cautiously took a bite out of it. Her eyes widened, she shivered a bit, and then very hastily swallowed. “Um ... wow.” Her voice came out as a faint wheeze. “That’s really, really good, Cloud. So good I don’t wanna eat another bite of it, ‘cause that’d ruin how good the first bite was.” She smiled shakily up at me, while trying to surreptitiously get what was left of the bread into the trashcan.
I might’ve been a bit craving-addled, but I could tell she was just trying to spare my feelings. “Thanks, Dinky.” I gave her mane a quick pat, then turned to the others. “Um ... maybe it's something kids don't go for? You know, an acquired taste like coffee?”
Rainbow scoffed at me. “Sure, blame the kids for your weird food tasting horrible.”
Sparkler sighed and shook her head. “Yeah, Dinks, you might wanna remember that Gramma eats weird foods sometimes.” She winced and stuck out her tongue. “Remember that time she had us try caviar?”
Dinky coughed and nodded, still trying to keep her brave face up despite the tears leaking out of her eyes and other mounting evidence that she hated the bread. Derpy’s maternal instincts kicked in, sending her to the fridge to pick up some lemonade for her daughter. “Here you go, Muffin. This’ll make it go away.”
“‘Anks,” she whimpered out, taking the drink and chugging it down. Sparkler took advantage of the opening to snatch away the bread and toss it out the window. Some of Fluttershy’s animals would probably take care of it. Hay, maybe I’d get lucky and Angel would try to eat some. Couldn’t happen to a nicer hellspawn in rabbit form.
Rainbow pointedly cleared her throat and changed the subject away from Dinky’s suffering. “So, Cloud, how's your family been treating you?”
“They've been doing pretty good.” I grinned and nudged Sparkler. “Of course, Star’s mostly coming by to see her marefriend, but she checks up on me while she’s here. I run into Storm pretty often too, what with her being Twilight’s bodyguard and all that. Plus Dad's been coming by a lot more.” I paused, a slight frown crossing my face. “Though part of that’s probably because his girlfriend is working with Twilight. Good thing the Magus Corps is in an odd place when it comes to chain of command, or having his girlfriend be under the command of his niece would lead to all kinds of complications.”
“Yeah...” Rainbow sighed and shook her head. “You okay with that? Looks like you’re still kinda not cool with your dad dating.”
“I’m dealing with it.” What more could I say? It’s not like I could be instantly one hundred percent accepting of Dad dating a much younger mare, or any mare for that matter. I knew it wasn’t exactly fair or rational for me to be grouchy about it, but I was a pregnant mare hopped up on hormones: I was allowed to be unfair and irrational.
Rainbow apparently agreed with me, since she decided not to press the issue. “Guess that’s all anypony can ask. So are you feeling any better? I mean with the bloating and the aches and morning sickness and all that?”
“Morning sickness has died down, at least.” The rest of it was just as nasty as before, if not worse, but I was trying to focus on the positive.
“Don't get too comfortable,” Derpy cautioned. “It can come back at a moment's notice, and there’s no warning what might set you off. Especially when your cravings start getting weirder.” She frowned and held up a hoof. “Also, try not to indulge all of the cravings you get, okay? Some of them can get disturbing.”
“Like spinach and thyme muffins.” Rainbow cut in, shooting a meaningful look Derpy’s way.
“Spinach, pickle, and thyme,” I corrected. “You can't leave out the pickles, they're what pulls the whole thing together. Gotta have your sweet and salty in there.”
Rainbow grimaced. “Cloud, you’re assuming those muffins were ever supposed to work in any sense of the word, other than satisfying Derpy’s crazy pregnancy cravings. Trying to apply any kind of logic to them misses that they’re inherently illogical.”
Sparkler grinned mischievously. “Hey, had an idea, maybe you could blend the muffins in with some ice cream for a preggo-smoothie?”
Dinky whined and shook her head. “Sparky, I’m already feeling barfy, so quit talkin’ about more gross stuff.”
“Easy solution to that,” Rainbow assured her. “Just aim for Sparkler, Dinks.”
“Rainbow, don’t encourage them,” Derpy grumbled good-naturedly. “They poke at each other enough without anypony egging them on.” She turned a playful glower on me. “I’m going to blame your cousins for this. They never had any sibling rivalry before Sparkler started dating Star, and now look at them.”
I grinned and shook my head. “Pretty sure there were sibling antics going on before Star entered the picture, and in any case that kind of thing is inevitable. It’s rare to find siblings who never poke fun at each other.” Alula and I were a bit of an exception to the general rule, but that was honestly because we probably weren’t as close as we should be. Blame it on her not being born until I was an adult who was already out of the house. We’d missed out on a lot of the crazy growing up together antics most siblings go through.
Sparkler retreated out of Dinky’s barfing range, scampering over to my side. “I hope you're feeling good about your aim, ‘cause you’d be in big trouble if you got all barfy over Momma as well as me.”
Dinky scowled at her sister, then shook her head. “I’ll getcha later.” She turned to Rainbow with a surprisingly evil grin for such a cute but not-quite-so-little-anymore filly. “We can plan somethin’ together, right?”
“You know it.” She smirked at Sparkler while ruffling Dinky’s mane. Apparently she did take Derpy’s request to heart though, because instead of stirring the pot a bit more she shifted back to me. “Any thoughts about the kid’s name? Rainbow Dash Jr is still an option. Just throwing that out there for your consideration.”
I rolled my eyes at the inevitable Dash-ego, though I was reasonably certain she wasn’t serious about that. “I’ll keep that in mind. Anyway, no solid ideas about the name yet.”
“Guess it would be tricky to find something that goes good with Kicker that Blossom and Fluttershy would both like.” Rainbow frowned to herself, mulling the issue over in her head. “I remember Fluttershy suggesting Bunny, but then Blossom said that made it sound like she kicked bunnies. Same thing for naming the kid after any other cute animal.” She pouted. “And when I tried to help none of you went for Awesome Kicker or Sonic Kicker or Vortex Kicker, despite those being great names.”
“Oh, or what about Snuggle Kicker?” Dinky chimed in. “Or Strawberry Kicker or Sunshine Kicker or Rainbow Kicker or—”
“We’ve got plenty of time to figure something out,” I assured them. “Thanks for the suggestions, though. I’ll run a couple of them by Eepy and Blossom, see what they think.”
“How’re they doing anyway?” Rainbow asked. “I kinda wanted to run some work stuff by Blossom when I could grab her.”
“They’re...” I hesitated as I thought back to the rather heated discussion we’d had the other day. “Good. They're good.”
Rainbow surprised me by throwing a rather thoughtful look my way. “‘Good’ huh? Anything you wanna talk about?”
I sighed and shook my head. “Nothing going wrong with us, it’s just ... well Fluttershy's not wild about Twilight's plans to upgrade the Guard. Blossom’s backing her up on that, and I’m pretty sure you can guess what side of the issue I’m on. Got a little heated.”
“Oof. That's...” Derpy sighed and shook her head. “See, this is why talking about politics never ends well. I hope things work out once everypony’s had some time to settle down. Equestria’s national security does sort of depend on the strength of their friendship.”
“Yeah...” Rainbow sighed and shook her head. “Fluttershy might be one of my oldest gal pals, but she can get a little ... um ... well when she really gets passionate about something, she doesn’t always think things through.”
Sparkler cut in with a confused frown. “Wait, what's going on with Twilight’s guard?”
“She’s expanding it,” I explained. “Storm was never supposed to be the only one, she just needed a while to hammer out plans with Twilight. Apparently one of the things they want to do is start up patrols in the Everfree, make it a bit safer for ponies.”
“Oh.” A second later Sparks figured it out. “Oh. I guess she’s not wild about the idea of the patrols hurting cute, innocent little pony-eating manticores and hydras?
“Pretty much,” Rainbow agreed. “She’s great and all, but sometimes I think that if a manticore ate somepony and choked on the bones, she’d yell at the pony for not being more considerate of the poor innocent little manticore.”
Dinky frowned thoughtfully. “But why can't they just not go there? That way they could have the patrols without making Miss Fluttershy mad.”
I sighed and shook my head. “The whole point of patrolling the Everfree is to deal with the dangerous monsters there. They can’t do their job without going into the forest.”
“But there’s always been dangerous monsters there,” Dinky pointed out.
Sparkler nodded patiently. “Yeah Dinks, but there hasn’t always been a princess right next door to ‘em. Ponyville’s gonna get a lot bigger now that Twilight’s royalty. The town’s gonna be expanding a lot, and all those ponies need somewhere to go. Especially if anypony else wants to start a new farm. Applejack, Carrot Top, and the other local farmers have taken up all the good farmland as it is. S’nowhere to put a new farm without carving the land out of the forest.”
“Yeah, the monsters have been a problem for a long time,” I agreed. “It’s something that should’ve been handled a while ago, and now that Twilight’s a princess she can move all the resources around to make that happen.”
“Huh.” Dinky frowned thoughtfully, hugging Rainbow while she mulled it over. “I guess it’d be nice to not hafta hide from stuff like Tirek.”
“Exactly.” Derpy sighed, shuffling uncertainly. “Don't tell Fluttershy I said this, but I agree with Twilight. I don’t like the idea of there being monsters who can come charging out of the forest with almost no warning and put my little girls in danger.”
“Yeah...” Rainbow protectively draped a wing around Dinky. “Fluttershy thinks that monsters are just misunderstood puppies and kittens. If you just reason with them, they’ll totally stop trying to eat everypony they come across. She doesn't ... doesn't always appreciate how dangerous and mean some animals can be. Like Angel.”
That got a round of snickers out of everyone. “Point to Rainbow,” Sparkler commented, giving her a hoof bump.
Rainbow shrugged immodestly. “Hey, I'm just telling it like it is.”
I nodded along. “Gotta admit, I'm glad Eepy took the little tartarus-spawn with her on her trip to Canterlot. Being stuck alone with him all day would not be fun.”
Derpy sighed and shook her head. “I don't know how she’s put up with him all these years.”
“He’s not even the worst friend she’s got anymore,” Rainbow groused. “Compared to Discord, Angel’s not all that bad. Now if we could just find a way to turn them against each other...”
“Eepy doesn’t have the best taste in friends,” I conceded.
Sparkler smirked at me. “You realize you just burned yourselves and Mom, right?”
“She's gotcha there,” Dinky chirped out, grinning at Rainbow. “I think this is the part where you noogie her.”
Rainbow promptly complied, though a lot more carefully than she usually would. Not that I went easier on her because of that. “Noogieng a pregnant mare. Shame.”
She hesitated for a long moment before getting back to it. “You're not carrying the baby in your head. Way too thick.”
Despite being subjected to more scalp massages, I chuckled. “Glad you paid enough attention in school to remember where pregnant mares carry their kids.”
Derpy snickered at us, shaking her head and taking on a chiding, almost motherly tone. “Now now, you two...”
Dinky gasped, then rushed over to tackle one of Rainbow’s hind legs. “Rainbow! You were supposed to noogie Sparky, not Cloud!”
“Yeah, but Cloud’s more fun to go after,” Rainbow countered, giving my head one last rub for emphasis before showing mercy, dropping her leg to casually rest around my shoulders. “‘Sides, I don’t like taking sides in the grand sibling wars. Look what happened when I got mixed up with Star and Storm’s whole thing.”
Dinky released Rainbow’s leg, whirling on her sister with an evil grin as she remembered Sparkler’s downfall in the great prank war. “Hi! Hey! Hello! List—”
Dinky’s verbal assault came to an abrupt end as Sparkler hit her with a silence spell. “No. None of that, Dinks. Next time you try that, you’ll be communicating in mime for a week.”
“Dinky, no traumatizing your sister,” Derpy called out with exaggerated patience. “Sparkler, no turning your sister into a mime. I think we can all agree that either one of those things constitutes a crime against equinity.” She sighed and shook her head. “Mimes ... that’s just going too far, Sparkler. There are lines we don’t cross. Especially with family.”
“Noted.” Sparkler released the spell on Dinky, who had the decency to not immediately resume the attack. She turned to me. “So, uh ... you have any projects you guys need some help with? You know, stuff Mom shouldn't do, for obvious reasons?”
“Well, there's the baby's room,” I suggested, “but that's a while off yet. I’m not even past the halfway point of this thing.” I blinked, dropping my hoof down to my belly. “Oh Shadow, I’m not even past the halfway point. This is gonna take forever...”
“It’s really not that bad, Cloud,” Derpy assured me with a smile. “After a while you just get used to all the unpleasant parts of it, and focus on the good things.”
“Like getting an awesome kid,” Rainbow pointed out, patting Dinky demonstratively. “C’mon, stop being such a whiner. I’m not saying all the morning sickness and stuff isn’t hard, but it’s all worth it. Right, Derpy?”
Derpy grinned and nodded. “I’m thinking about going through it again, despite knowing exactly what I’d be in for. That should tell you a lot about how much it’s worth it.”
“Or that you’ve gotten nostalgic, and forgotten just how rough all this is,” I countered. “Just saying, that’s also a valid explanation. Not that Dinky isn’t great and all, but it’s a lot easier to talk about how it’s worth it when you’ve got a great kid in front of you, while all the bloating, soreness, puking, and getting up five times a night to use the bathroom is a distant memory.”
“She’s got a point there,” Sparkler agreed. “But anyway, I figured I should offer to help you out now, since I'll be doing the college thing soon. I’ll try and get off for a bit to be here for the big day, but I am gonna miss the last couple months of it all.”
“Yeah, that is coming up.” I noticed Derpy’s smile turning brittle again, and figured it might be a good idea to change the subject. “So ... uh ... what did you want to talk to Blossom about, Rainbow?”
“Just some work stuff,” she answered with a bored hoofwave. “Nothing too big, just that now that I’m in the Wonderbolt Reserves and you’ve got the whole kid thing going on, she’s kinda gonna have a lot more on her plate. I was kinda thinking maybe she ought to just take over the weather team completely.”
I frowned. “So ... wait, are you promoting her over me?” Despite the fact that I had years of experience and seniority over Blossom. Not to mention that, while Blossom was a great manager when it came to the technical side of things, I liked to think I was a bit better when it came to getting everypony to work together.
Rainbow hesitated, not quite meeting my eyes. “Uh ... not exactly. I’m just saying, somepony has to run things while I’m not around and you’re on maternity leave. Blossom’s kinda the obvious choice, right?”
“Right.” Despite the fact that I was objectively more qualified. And Rainbow was one of my best friends. Not to mention... “Fine. Whatever.”
Things got very quiet. Very, very quiet. Rainbow stared at me, shuffling awkwardly on the sofa, opening and closing her mouth a few times. Derpy didn’t seem all that eager to look at me either, while Sparkler seemed to have found something fascinating of Fluttershy’s bookshelf.
Derpy finally broke the silence, digging into her saddlebags. “I almost forgot ... I brought your mail when I came out here. Should’ve given it to you right away, but one thing led to another and I got sidetracked.”
“Oh, right.” I took the mail, grateful for any distraction I could get. I sorted through it all, tossing out a pamphlet for Mayor Mare’s re-election campaign and another advertisement from Barnyard Bargains. Another letter from Zephyr too, which was sure to put Fluttershy in a mood when she got home. Only one thing that was of immediate interest to me. “Oh yay, test results from my visit to Redheart.”
“Didja pass?” Dinky asked innocently.
Derpy snickered and rubbed her mane. “It's a different type of test, Muffin.”
I tore open the letter, trying to ignore the way everypony eagerly leaned in to see the results. “Relax, it’s really not that interesting. Just the usual checkup. The only new stuff was checking for a few genetic disorders. Kinda have to test for everything, since we don’t know what Blossom’s family history is. Blossom already got checked for all that too, but never hurts to be too careful about it.”
I flicked through all the paperwork, confirming exactly what I’d expected. A whole lot of boring nothing. When I was going to Redheart all the time, there weren’t really any surprises with my checkups. I was starting to suspect all the tests she was putting me through were really just a way to generate extra work for the labponies. Finally, I got to the one actually interesting part of it. “Okay, genetic testing. Good ... good ... good ... oh horseapples!”
Rainbow and Derpy immediately rushed to my side, staring down at the letter. “What is it?” Rainbow asked, snatching the letter away from me. “Is something wrong with the kid?”
I groaned and ran a hoof down my face. “I told Redheart I didn't want ... dammit, somepony at the lab screwed up!” I shook my head, then took the papers back from Rainbow with a heavy sigh. “I know who my baby's sire is.”
“Oh.” A second later the full implications of that dawned on Rainbow. “Oh! Oh feath—” She quickly cut herself off, glancing over at Dinky.
Dinky, for her part, stared up innocently at me. “So who is it?”
I took a deep breath, then told them.
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Y'know, Cloud is usually up for some evil butt-fun.
Awww we got wait and see who is the sire.
Dat cliffhanger tho!
My money's on Princess Luna.
...Chengar, you jerk.
Funny stuff though. Dinky's reaction to the bread and Sparkler's figurative handwave of her silence spell use in particular.
I think this is worthy of a DUN DUN DUN!!!
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU....
why would u do this to us
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Accurate chapter title.
Also, it is an interesting experience to read a story about West Hoof while at West Hoof *cough* Point. I meant Point.
7987783 That... would actually make sense. Plenty of power to plow through any protection spells. Of course that may also include Twilight as well since even as a unicorn she was stronger than normal...
7987783
I got 10 Bits on Fluttershy!
It's totally Rainbow Dash. She's that awesome they didn't need to bang!
Someone is gonna have to tell Cloud that she's basically unreliable and yes, Blossom is gonna get promoted above her.
Just reading the title of this chapter I'm not sure if I should actually read it now (even though I'm always happy to see a new chapter of this story) or wait till the next chapter is out.
Needs eight hundred more words.
You very evil person, with that cliffhanger. Well, at least you can't say you lied when you named your chapter
That promotion thing... I actually see Rainbow's reasoning - Cloud will be unavailable for a while. Buuuuut... she could have at least talked to Cloud about it before making any decisions.
Its Discord! Discord is the sire!
Actually I'm guessing its Blossom.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I can't wait months for an answer :( cliffhanger from tartarus
I've been waiting for this like a cactus for the yearly rain.
It's... Rainbow Dash!
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FWIW, it was this comic that got me into MLP in the first place...
Wouldn't it technically be Rainbow Dash III, since Cool Mom is really Dash Sr.?
Also, this chapter needs to bring the story 6 more upvotes to reach the magic number. It would be fitting...
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Noooooooo! Now I'll have to wait for the NEXT CHAPTER to find out who Cloud's Baby Daddy is!! T________T
This was very evil of you.
All these comments and the obvious one doesn't show up?
Fine, I got this. :)
It's Shadow's Armor, isn't it!? /conspiracy hat
At least this made up for the depressing experience Triptych is lately.
It's hilarious, because I read the title with dismay, read the chapter with glee, and then promptly remembered the title again at the end. Well played.
*Reads chapter*
*Gets to ending*
*Gets annoyed*
*Suddenly notice chapter title*
Well played, good sir
*Reads title of chapter*
Anyways, my guess is that Rainbow knocked her up lol
Let's think about this...What about the test could indicate who is sire is....
Something in the blood work that indicates it's a pegeisus? No, that really doesn't say anything helpful.
Blood type? But it would be sort of cheating for the author to have never hinted at flutters or blossom's blood types before and have cloud know it.
Coat/mane color? If there is a blood test for that? And would a yellow or pink coat really prove anything.
No, the only way the test could have given cloud such insight as to imediatly know the parent is, is if it is NOT a pegeisus.
Now I not sure if all the events of "study of. Winning pony" are canon to this story, but if they are, it raises an interesting option. The fetus is a unicorn, and the sire is Twilight.
7990221
I agree completely with your reasoning. However, given that the Kickers have a lot of Unicorns in their family, that wouldn't prove anything. Fluttershy was mentioned as having Earth Pony ancestors, but they don't know what Blossom's family history is so that doesn't prove anything either. 2 possibilities I can see.
1)The kid's an Alicorn, in which case it's Twilight.
2)The kid's a love foal & probably Fluttershy's
Other possibility is some genetic disease that Blossom doesn't carry.
I knew going into this the ending would gall me. I thought I'd be okay with it.
I'm not.
A cruel cliffhanger indeed. For drama purposes, it really needs to be either Fluttershy or Blossomforth in order to unbalance the relationship. Anyone else and it's mostly trivia.
We've not seen them together yet, but I'm pretty sure that Dinky's father Shining Armor is pretty close to the same size as Big Mac. He's as tall or even slightly taller than Cadance.
Sarcastic prediction: It's Twilight.
The dialogue in this chapter felt draggy up until like the last thousand words. It was natural, I guess, but... useless. Dialogue should be 65/35 split of Stuff To Progress The Plot/Casual Character Building Conversation. It should have a purpose, just like everything else. And even the Casual Character Building Conversation is a little unneeded because you're writing from first person, so we very intimately know who this character is already.
I was bored, honestly, and I don't ever recall hearing any of my pregnant friends have an actual drawn-out discussion about their cravings like Cloud and co.
1. That cliffhanger
2. I'll have you know bread doused in vinegar is delicious. Malt vinegar especially.
7991972 Not to mention that vinegar and potatos are one of life's great combinations, so bread w/vinegar dipped in potato soup actually sounds really good.
7992309
Considering I'm actually warming up a bowl of potato soup that had a splash of balsamic vinegar mixed in, I can't disagree with this.
However, Cloud was using apple vinegar, and way overdoing it. I love using vinegar in my cooking, but it's definitely something you want to use carefully.
7992309 7992464 take a dipping bowl, fill with about a tablespoon or two of sea salt, a healthy dash of pepper, add about a third cup of vinegar (Malt or apple, by preference), mix until the salt dissolves into a light film on top. Dip carbs of choice, drink as a shot when done. So good.
I'm going for the longshot and saying it's not Blossom OR Eepy.
7987783
7988056
My money is on it being Twilight.
7993552 Possible, although if that were the case Cloud would probably have reacted very differently... unless she suspected something from the very beginning but hasn't spoken or even thought about it since the conception.
7987876
Because cliffhangers are evil, but fun. Didn't you read the chapter title?
Well, at least you warned us in advance with that title...
It would be really surprising if it somehow was neither Fluttershy nor Blossom, though.
Hmm... If it's not Fluttershy's or Blossomforth's, it would hurt the two of them, but they were still all in a semi-open relationship (if I remember correctly) at the time, so there has always been the possibility. And the two are committed to Cloud at this point. I think the sire him/herself might be the issue. Considering Cloud's reaction, it sounds/feels like it isn't either of the two, and whoever it is will complicate things.
And I really hope we don't have to wait till the end of April to find out.
Doesn't Blossom have a degree in weather engineering? Cloud Kicker went to school to become an infantry officer. Also, being friends with the boss isn't an objective qualification.
I love the Winningverse, but Cloud Kicker irritates the hell out of me sometimes.
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7999289
She's definitely being a bit unfair because she's grumpy about not getting the promotion.