• Published 13th Oct 2015
  • 10,048 Views, 18,189 Comments

Utaan - Imploding Colon



Rainbow Dash endures many trials to reach the edge of the world.

  • ...
44
 18,189
 10,048

PreviousChapters Next
The More That Things Change...

Remna, the Desperadoes, and the Herald lingered atop a particularly lengthy sandbar—not really going anywhere or attempting to. They stood close to one another with their supplies and packs, murmuring continuously in the starlight. A tense hush hovered over the scene, and stillness consumed the watery patches stretching beyond that immediate location.

At some point, a yellow spectre phased through the collective group. Fluttershy drifted slowly over the reflective waters and sand dunes. At last, she approached her anchor—who was staring off at the distant limestone formations, silent and sullen.

"Uhm... Rainbow Dash?"

There was no response from where the mare sat. Her shoulders didn't even shrug.

Clearing her throat, Fluttershy meekly went on: "We... uhm... we've had a long talk with Applejack. She appears to have calmed down quite a bit. She is a strong mare, after all." Fluttershy gulped. "Even still, uhm... Twilight and the other girls took her... y'know... to rest... which is why they're not around at the moment... uhm... in case you're wondering why you haven't seen them over the last few minutes... or so..."

Rainbow remained quiet. Her head nodded slightly, but that was it.

Silence.

"Rainbow... erm..." Fluttershy fidgeted in mid-air. She glanced over her shoulder at the assembled group in the distance. "...are... are we going to set hoof east again anytime soon?" She brushed her bangs aside. "I mean... your friends are patient—of course—but... but who's to know if we're being followed? By the Rohbreddenites, I mean? Also there's the threat of windigoes and pirates and—"

"What's the use...?" Rainbow finally muttered.

Fluttershy squinted curiously. "Rainbow... don't you want to get to the Dark Sid—?"

"It took me nearly two years to get to this point," her anchor said. "Who knows how friggin' long it'll take me to scale the whole plane and back. Another two years? Four? Six?" Her ears twitched, fuzzy and red. "Assuming I even make it back at all?!" Her partially grown tail flicked angrily. "And just how many friends and family are going to die in the time it does take to get back?! What will I have left to even promise you girls?!?"

Fluttershy gulped. "Rainbow, Apple Smith was getting on in years. We all know that. There's nothing you could have done to—"

"You're right! There's nothing I could have done! There's never anything I can do!" She spun around at last, frowning in the direction of Fluttershy—or, more appropriately—in the direction of Yaerfaerda. "Oh, I can save the world, alright! Or at least that's what Verlax believes... or Remna... or Mortuana or Whitemane or fart-all decides to talk to me at the next Seed! But what's the point if everyone I've ever been loyal to ends up biting it?!"

"Rainbow Dash..." Fluttershy flew closer, her eyes hardening into a strong gaze. "You once thought that we were dead, but now we're not."

"Hrmmmff..." Rainbow blew out the side of her muzzle. "If you call this living." She pointed at her.

"I thought that nopony was around back at home that cared about me," Fluttershy firmly said. "But the words of Dumb-Bell and his friends proved otherwise. I know that the trials you've been through have been stressful, but there is something worth striving for—"

"Yeah yeah, you know a lot." Rainbow Dash stood up, nostrils flaring. "But you have you felt it, Fluttershy?! Huh? Have you stained your hooves with the blood of all the ponies that needed to die so that this journey could keep going?! Have you murdered or deceived all the souls that I have just to legitimize all this Austraeoh crud?!"

Fluttershy gazed calmly at the mare. "Every time a living soul dies around us, Rainbow Dash, I feel it in my very core."

Rainbow winced. She transformed it into a sneering frown, pacing off across the wet puddles between sandbars.

Fluttershy kept speaking. "It's like my soul is being ripped apart every time. For every Central Guard soldier... for every innocent Rohreddenite civilian." Fluttershy took a deep breath. "No, I wasn't there for all of the Ledomaritans and Xonans and citizens of Lerris, Rainbow Dash. But you don't need me to tell you that if we argued for all of the lives that have been subjected to the tragedies of this cold-hearted world, we would get absolutely nowhere. And what is your mission if not to bring a lively flame back to this dead, forsaken shell that lurks beneath the hooves of all of us?"

"I don't see it, Fluttershy..." Rainbow grumbled, heaved. "I don't feel it. It's all too big..." Her legs shook beneath her. "It's all so friggin' big..."

"It's not stopped you before. That's what makes you so awesome, Rainbow Dash. Your loyalty is the best. You are the best... and you are better than this very moment... no matter how much it's tearing you apart." Fluttershy said. She then gulped, her eyes watering. "I'm... I'm sad for Applejack. I really am. But even so... I-I can't imagine I could ever feel as sad for her as you feel... as you have felt..."

"Would you like to?"

Fluttershy blinked at that.

"You know what friggin' kills me?" Rainbow turned until Fluttershy caught her angry, fuming profile. "For so many months... for so many miserable months I obsessed over her... a mare that I never had the friggin' guts to share my feelings with. She died, Fluttershy. And for as long as I could remember... I defined myself—my every action and my every choice—by what she would do and how she would think of me for doing it." She gulped. "I crossed miles and miles... and I accomplished so much... and I finally... finally got over her. And how does this stinkin' world reward me? Reward her?"

Fluttershy gulped. "We believe in you, Rainbow Dash. I know that you'll get us through all of this—"

"But I still won't bring Applejack her grandmother back!" Rainbow Dash spun. "Rrrrrrrrrrgh!" And she kicked the ground as hard as she could.

Salt water splashed sky high, then sprinkled the sandbars surrounding her. A few members of the Herald squirmed in the distance as the group went dead silent. Remna stared from a distance, unflinching.

Rainbow fell on her knees, soaking in the rippling waters. As she caught her panting breaths, the reflected starlight once again settled around her.

Fluttershy finished weathering a deep breath. "Doing nothing will bring nopony back," Fluttershy said. "And you're not a mare to do nothing—"

"I know." Rainbow shuddered. "I know. Believe me, Fluttershy..." She sniffled. "I know. It's just... it's just s-so heavy..." He fought a lump in her throat, eyes watering. "I... I wish I could go turn back time... b-become the old daredevilish mare wh-who loved adventure and wasn't afraid of anything. But... but I-I can't, Fluttershy. There's so many horrible and beautiful things now. It's all b-become so heavy... it's become so heavy and sometimes I-I don't even know what keeps me going..."

"You're growing," Fluttershy said. "We all are. But most importantly... we're together." She bore a tender smile. "Shake your angry hoof at the 'destiny' of Austraeoh all you want, but do you really honestly think you'd be managing yourself so well if Applejack, Twilight, and the rest of us weren't by your side at this point?"

Rainbow Dash flashed her a look. She panted... sniffling. A heavy gulp, and she murmured: "It'd be a lot... awesomer if I c-could just hug you guys..."

Fluttershy drifted down until she was hovering directly in front of the mare. "That time will come, Rainbow. But only if you make the next step."

Rainbow clenched her eyes tightly shut. Tears brimmed along the edges. "Can't... mrmmmfff... friggin' believe I never ever..." She clenched her teeth. "Back in Ponyville... when we were together... really together..."

"Shhhh..." Fluttershy leaned in and spoke past Rainbow's ear. "We are together. And there's nothing to fret, Rainbow Dash." She smiled delicately. "Your love is the strongest thing I've ever known. There's nothing you have to prove. Not anymore."

Rainbow sucked her breath in. She opened her eyes, staring tearfully across the starry horizons.

Fluttershy tilted her head to the side. "And as for Applejack... it's never too late to tell her—"

"It doesn't matter anymore."

Fluttersy raised an eyebrow.

"I... I was over her long ago," Rainbow muttered. "Roarke..." A shudder. "It's taken a lot of thought. But... well... you know..."

Fluttershy nodded. "And yet, could you even blame yourself for old feelings resurfacing?"

Rainbow sighed, gazing down at the waters beneath them. "I'm scared of that."

"What for?"

Rainbow didn't answer.

"Well..." Fluttershy lifted up slightly. "If you ever doubt yourself, I happen to know of a very... very reliable lie detector whom you can speak to."

Rainbow looked up.

Fluttershy winked. "Now, who's a brave pony?"

Rainbow cleared her throat. Flapping her wings, she finally lifted herself up out of the muck. "I think... I'll pursue Yaerfaerda for a while."

Fluttershy giggled. "Oh Rainbow Dash. You change... and yet you never do."

"Hmmmmm..." Rainbow barely nodded. The hint of a devilish smirk flickered across her tired features. More like a shadow.

PreviousChapters Next