When Sharpies™ Attack!
"Sunburst! Sunburst! Help!"
"Starlight?" a certain failed wizard came rushing towards her marefriend. "What is it?"
"It's THAT!"
Starlight pointed a scared hoof at a fountain in the middle of the Canterlot park they were in. Her teeth chattered in fear, her lips quivered, and her eyes bugged out in pure fright. Sunburst gasped upon seeing the dastardly fountain, but soon raised a brow and looked at his marefriend curiously.
"What's wrong with it? It's a fountain," he said simply.
"It's the fountain, you idiot!" Starlight grabbed his confused face. "It's the words that have been written on it!"
Sunburst gently removed her hooves and walked over to the seemingly evil fountain. He magically adjusted his glasses to see the vandalizing text that was on the old marble. There in thick black lines said the words "FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC."
"What's so bad about these words?" he asked nervously.
"Sunburst, you idiot!" Starlight snarled as she too approached the fountain. "There is clearly a radical Twilight supporter here in this very park! What is written here is one of Twilight's slanderous slogans. Anypony who utters it is an obvious bigoted supporter of that evil Princess of Friendship."
"Um, isn't Twilight your friend?" Sunburst adjusted his glasses again.
"Well, only on Tuesdays and Fridays."
"Well then, why are you afraid of somepony supporting Twilight?"
"Sunburst, that's a really stupid question. It's pretty clear that whoever wrote that there is willing to hurt or kill anyone who doesn't support Twilight. You and I are in danger here!"
"It's just ink on stone..."
Starlight pressed closer to him. "Permanent ink on stone."
"Alright? Starlight, I think you may be overreacting..."
"It's because I'm a mare isn't it?" Starlight turned hostile. "Your misogynistic side is showing, bub."
"Sorry!" Sunburst gulped. "I...I just think that the supporter is not here anymore."
"You don't know that for sure! We need to be on our guard, he or she could swipe in and kill us! Of course, we're both unicorns, so we have a bit more protection, but nonetheless, a Twilight supporter is a more than willing to assault us for our views!"
"Then what should we do?"
"Tell the Royal Guard of course!"
"That's stupid," the Royal Guard told them both.
"How?!" Starlight jumped in the air. "It's a real imminent threat!"
"What? The threat of vandalizing?" the Royal Guard chuckled. "Ya know, I heard you vandalized the Ponyville parks. Is this another one of your works?"
"Ugh! No!" Starlight rolled her eyes. "Look, you're a pegasus, you should understand our concern."
He lazily glanced at his wings which poked out from the golden armor. "Why is me being a pegasus a deal here?"
Starlight rolled her eyes. "Because we all know that Twilight is against pegasi. She's a stuck-up unicorn that was turned into an alicorn, which is even worse. Whoever wrote that on the fountain clearly wants more unicorn superiority."
"Princess Twilight is one of the nicest ponies in all of Equestria," the Royal Guard rebuked.
"Ugh! Are you being paid to say that or something? You're a pegasus, you're an oppressed minority!"
"What in Tartarus are ya talkin' about?" the Royal Guard stepped away from her. "Pegasi aren't oppressed or a minority."
"Oh you poor thing," Starlight swept in and hugged the soldier. "You don't even know how unfairly you are being treated."
"Are you suggesting I'm dumb?"
"Not you, but those awful unicorns are trying to keep ponies like you dumb. It's the terrible state this country is in."
The Royal Guard then looked passed Starlight (who was still hugging him) and raised an annoyed brow at Sunburst. The "important" wizard shrugged his shoulders in completely embarrassed bewilderment. The Royal Guard returned his attention to the odd unicorn mare.
"Lady, please let go of me."
"Have you realized how much they've lied to you?" she whispered in his ear.
"No, I just realized that ya need help, lady. From ya record, I'm surprised we let ya go about in public. I'm not an oppressed minority and Twilight supporters are not gonna kill ya."
Starlight took a step back and frowned at him. "Oh! Way to be a damn parrot, you moron! Don't you realize all the racism present in Equestria?"
"If there was such racism, would I be in the military? Ain't it racist that a unicorn is telling me, a pegasus, that I'm bloody oppressed? I think I'm damn smart enough to know when ponies don't like me cause I have a pair of wings. Now get outta here."
"See Sunburst?" Starlight sighed. "This is what I've been talking about. The racism is so prominent in Equestria that the oppressed don't even realize they're oppressed. It truly sickens me."
"Uh huh, yeah," Sunburst agreed only in voice as he was shaking his head.
Starlight looked back at him. "Come on, we came here to get Luna anyway. But hey, we got more proof that pegasi are a marginalized minority, didn't we?"
"Uh huh, yeah," he repeated in the exact same way.
"Damn unicorns, I'll never understand any of them hornheads," the Royal Guard muttered with absolute disgust as he watched the couple leave.
=
Stats
Page generated in 0.052 seconds
Total duration
1,001 users online
1,540,924 hits today, 2,054,621 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Nice hashtags.
7123305 Well, I actually I'm not a Trump voter, but it doesn't matter here. We all are for Twilight, right? Right?!?!
#PrincessLuna2016
7123367
#DerpyforVP
I wonder if the Gaurd could get her committed to an insane asylum? I mean Sunburst and Twilight could also get her there but I mean officers of the law could help collaborate her issues.
7123492 Why would they do that? It's because she's a mare, ain't it?!
7123521
7123548 Prince Blueblood is a prime example of the patriarchy in Equestria.
7123554
Alondro hmms... he picks up a piece of chalk and writes "Trump 2016" all over Philadelphia.
"I actually don't like Trump... but I do love slaughtering things!"
Yet again, the laughter this should elicit is tempered by the fact that these are the arguments the progressive SJW lunatics actually use.
Don't worry... I'll kill them all soon enough...
7122546 Safe zone Starlight, stay out of the... Danger Zone....
Every good SJW needs a white-knight enabler. I'm curious and eager to see where this goes
7140679 If you don't like Trump then I suppose you're pro-Cruz. He's just as bad. The problem is is that you are so quick to say 'that's truth' when you don't understand it really. The views of the left about the far left are the same as the Republicans views of Trump or Muslim views of terrorists. The very, VERY small minority does not represent the majority. And THAT is truth.
7140707 Actually, Starlight is a democratic socialist in this parody (as SJW has nothing to do with economic standpoints, but individual moral laws and tendencies). She has not said anything herself, but her ponies have. That's why they go for the rich and demand free college.
In the show, Starlight is nothing but a cultist. But you know that already.
Also, libertarians don't vote for Trump. My brother is one and he hates Trump with a passion. The Alternative Right votes for Trump. I consider myself a moderate conservative, so I don't vote for him either. But eh, whatever.
7140709 If that would work, would we have BlackLivesMatter people trying to create white genocide?
"Blacks have a distrust for whites because they are oppressed by whites. There is nothing racist about a black person fighting institutionalized racism by calling a white person a cracker."
So I doubt that will work. Remember, this is about SJWs. Reason and logic are not to be found here.
7140855 Cruz is quieter and less reactive. But his main problem is that he wants to overrule the Supreme Court with his religious beliefs. Trump's wall is too expensive to ever happen. Cruz can overrule the SC if he becomes president.
7140734 if you seriously think Cruz is as bad as Trump, then it's very easy to dismiss you entirely.
Cruz doesn't want to overrule anything on his religious views. Yes, he is a proud Christian, but that doesn't detract anything from him unless you are simply bigoted against Christians even though this nation was built upon Christian values and our rights come from the English Bill of Rights which was developed from the messages of the Bible.
He wants to change laws on gay marriage and make sure that freedom of religion still exists. Any pastor should be able to deny granting marriage to a gay couple. It's against their religious views. Forcing them to obey a law would be discrimatory to the pastors. This is America. We have freedom of religion. No one should be able to sue some poor pastor because they didn't get their damn wedding. That's just being a selfish jerk. Also, I am pro-life. There needs to be some reforms in abortion so that people won't be killing unborn babies left and right without consequences.
As a hispanic, I do support building a wall. Trump could pay for it If he wants. We need secured borders. To start any reformation in the immigration reform we must start with securing the border.
He also has a flat tax. This means the rich (who already pay the most taxes) will continue to pay the most taxes. This is much better than Hillary (who wants it to remain the same) or Bernie (who has no clue how economics work). Trump's tax plan isn't too shabby, but I don't trust him so...there's that.
Above all, he's not some idiot like Trump. He carries himself much better and is tougher than any candidate. I voted for him. I will vote for him again. He is not a friend of the establishment and I hope he cleans it up. To put him with Trump is only showing that you need to do more research on the subject. If you dislike him because he's a Christian, well, then you just need to research more. Trump is not a Christian even though he says he is. If you did research, you would understand why I say this. Cruz may not be the best candidate ever, but he's the best of the current bunch. It's time to make sure we elect someone who is not politically correct and is willing to take action without going overboard. That's Cruz.
7140965 Yes. We shall take over the world, Mi Hermano!
7140969 *misses high five*
7140944 for the record, Freedom of Religion does not allow you to discriminate against ethnic groups due to your religion. It's the same as Freedom of Speech doesn't allow you to scream 'fire!' in a theatre.
But you also have to look at how Cruz tackles other matters. With abortion, he says he will cut all funding to Planned Parenthood, therefore limiting women's healthcare and Freedom of Choice. All the comments on how PP experiments on foetuses have proven to be false.
Then there's the fact that he is a Global Warming Denier. He has stated that he will not try to stop Global Warming if it means slowing down economic growth. This belief only benefits the US while hurts the REST OF THE WORLD.
And finally, his approach on gun control. Something he and the other Republican nominees need to understand is that the US NEEDS gun control. Say what you want about how criminals would still get guns illegally, it's better than them getting them legally. Look at Australia. Before their gun control, they had 13 massacres in 18 years. In 1996, when John Howard introduced gun control, there have been ZERO massacres in the past 20 years. Homicides by guns went down by 50-60% and teen suicide by gun rates dropped exponentially. It's stats like these that prove that gun control DOES work.
When Obama decided to introduce background checks for guns last year, Ted Cruz was one of the first to lash out against this idea. But the most ironic thing is that it does not infringe upon the 2nd Amendment.
7140982 No, you can't say "fire" in the theater unless there is one because it causes mayhem and people may get hurt. How in any way is that similar to Freedom of Religion?
Let's say I'm a non-Muslim and you are a moderate muslim. You serve food and obey your religion. That means you can't eat meats like pork. If I come up to you and ask for pork, are you going to give me it? I mean, you have a Muslim restaurant. Pork is nowhere in sight because it's a bloody sin to eat it. You tell me you have no pork. I demand pork still. You do not want to disobey your religion, so you refuse. I then sue you because you discriminate against non-muslims. Your business is destroyed because of it. However, due to that good ol' anti-discrimination law you just spoke of, I was in the complete right. Is that good?
No, because it was discrimination for me to sue you for being a good obeying muslim. It's the same here. Christians like me believe that homosexualty is a sin. It would be a sin to marry a gay/lesbian couple. It's not discrimination. It's obeying your religion because you have the right to obey it here in America. It's discrimination for the gays to sue the pastor because he's a Christian. And it's not like they need that specific bloody pastor. There are plenty of progressive pastors who would gladly wed them. To force pastors to obey such a law would be discrimination against Christians. That is not American. It's discrimatory if one group like gays have rights that overrule groups like Christians. Religion is at stake here. It would be discrimatory to gays if the wedding was secular. That's the only time it would be.
7141021 The link between Freedom of Speech and Freedom of Religion is that it doesn't give you the ability to DO WHATEVER YOU WANT. And yet you like to say that discrimination is okay. I'm from South Africa and we had open discrimination worse than your Civil Rights Movement. It was called Apartheid. THAT is the problem with discrimination. I have yet to hear why some Christians see homosexuality as wrong other than 'the Bible says so.' The Bible is not a perfect book. If you want to be Christian, that's fine. If you want to be Muslim, that's fine. If you want to be a part of any religion, that's fine. But the problem starts when that religion allows for the infringement of rights of others. THAT is the big problem. Religion should not be a superiority complex. You CAN be Christian, but it's when you start allowing something that should be personal to start affecting others negatively.
7141074 so it's good to make others disobey their own laws because of your own selfishness? You do realize that atheism is just as much a religion as any other religion, right? A religion is not only something with a god or the supernatural, but any guiding passion that leads one's life.
Ahem, the Bible says it is wrong because it is not love, it is lust. Lust is a sin, is it not? Christians also hold the Bible in absolute truth and will put God's word above yours. Also, it doesn't matter the reason why Christians believe it is wrong. It's still someone forcing another to disobey their religion. That's what matters. Would you go over to an atheist and force them to be baptized? No that's being rude and mean and it'll be discrimination if you punish the atheist for not going with your wishes. That is there because of Freedom of Religion. You are granting gays some right and privilege because they are gay and disregarding Christian rights because they are Christian. That's being a jerk to straights. Gays don't need to gain more rights just because they are gays. There is more to the world than one's sexual orientation.
I have not once ever said I approve of discrimination. You are showing your true colors by putting things that aren't there, there. It's not discrimination if a pastor does not try to defy his religion. No one is hurt if a pastor says "no." But it is hurtful if the gays are able to ruin his life because he said "no." If you are from South Africa, you should bloody know that the oppressed aren't the ones destroying the oppressor's lives through courts. That's not being oppressed. You are oppressed if you must do something you believe is wrong and cannot not do it because you will be punished by the government.
If you were suggesting that Christians approve of discrimination, then read the Bible and actually research things before sprouting out something you heard like a bloody brainless parrot. The bible says to respect other religions and do everything in love. Yes, we disagree with the other religions, but we should not turn them into enemies. Actually, if you research, you'll find a great verse about loving your enemies.
Now, it also doesn't matter if you believe the Bible is wrong. This is about Freedom of Religion. You can think what you want. However, you cannot force others to believe that way through violence or courts.
7141132 My mother always told me that whenever an argument comes to the point of religious beliefs, no good can come of it. Neither side will be happy once this ends. It is very clear that I will not be able to convince you and you won't be able to convince me. So I'm stopping this now. There's no point in this argument going on any further. Believe what you wish, but do be careful how you portray your beliefs as you might hurt somebody. It is not an act of cowardice that I am stopping this argument. You haven't convinced me I'm wrong. I just see that this fight will go on forever neither of us will be happy once it is over. Is this okay with you?
7141173 yes it is fair. Just don't start them up again please. This parody is about political correctness. If you are one to support PC culture, you probably should leave and never come back. Otherwise, you are welcomed here. This is a comedy afterall. However, I will still make fun of certain people, but mostly SJWs.
Also, if Keyblade harasses you in the future, please ignore him. He can become a bit wild sometimes.
7141205 I will admit it was Keyblade that brought me into this as he/she tried to compare everything to left wing. I will heed your advice from now on.
7141252 You just ruined our moment.
7141255 Does not matter. Ever since your first post (which simply said for Liberals to shut the hell up which is something I've never put in my story), I knew you would be one to instigate some arguments. I have never seen you as wrong, but I do advise being more calm and forgiving.
That's all, really. Orthrus is not a liberal SJW. Yes, we disagree on many things, but that's absolutely fine. And also, I was planning to ignore your and his posts, but you actually asked for my input. You're not blameless in this. Just be a bit nicer, alright?
7141274
7143330 Well, it's a griffin, they are victims of violence. It would be politically incorrect to say anything against them. They can murder who they want. It's their culture.
#friendsforever
7143405 I'm a cannibal. It's my culture