"How did we get here?"
"Don't ask, my dear Twilight, just roll with it."
Twilight, Celestia, Luna, Rarity, Cadance all stood bewildered on individual stands lined up in a semi-circle on a great stage. On their stands were the number "0" with the bits sign next to it. Lights and showy things were all about as they realized they were on some sort of game show. The audience was in the dark parts of the building, clapping and waving their hooves about. It was not long before the host came on stage. Of course, the host was none other than Starlight Glimmer.
"WELCOME TO PC JEOPARDY!" she sang through her microphone. "I am your great host, Starlight Glimmer! Today we have some dishonorable guests with us."
"Couldn't get three sentences in before insulting us," Twilight mumbled.
"You're on mic, princess," Starlight said, "so I would be more careful about what you say."
Twilight looked to see the crowd giving deep frowns at her. She awkwardly smiled and waved at them, but it was no use. The damage was done.
Starlight continued happily. "So today with our five contestants..." she paused. "Five?" She turned around and counted them with her hoof. She then blinked before realizing what was wrong.
"Oh! I see the problem. Rarity, get the hell out of here," Starlight pointed at the white unicorn.
"But...But why?" Rarity asked.
"You know why!"
"Because I'm a unicorn? I add diversity to this line of contestants!" Rarity protested.
"Naw, we don't allow whores in here," Starlight shook her hoof. "And shut up, no one wants to here you speak...like ever."
The crowed then cheered as Rarity walked off stage, leaving the four alicorns at their stations. Starlight gave a smug look before continuing.
"Our four guests: Celestia, Luna, Twilight, and Cadance. The four alicorn tetrarchy of Equestria!"
"Saying 'four' and 'tetra' is redundant," Twilight told the host.
Starlight frowned at the book princess. "I see that Twilight has lost her first points. She is at negative one thousand bits to start the game off."
Twilight looked down to see her score was not -1000 bits. "That's not fair! I was correcting you! It's called helping!"
"Oh," Starlight grinned, "make that -2000."
Twilight looked down again to see that her score was even lower than before. She promptly shut her mouth and let the host rule the show like a dictator.
"Now, on this version of Jeopardy, we ask questions about the equalist culture that was swept over Equestria. We have these four alicorns to display their knowledge on the subject they plan to fight. Oh foolish them."
"I'm not fighting it," Cadance raised a hoof.
"You're an alicorn, yes you are," Starlight barked.
Starlight cleared her throat. "So, our categories are feminism, oppression, other, racism, social justice, and microaggressions. Each one of these categories are important and serve to show the intentions of the equalist movement. Do these phony rulers have what it takes to see the current society they live in? Or are they going to flaunt their ignorance like never before? Let's find out."
She turned to the alicorns. "Celestia will have the first turn. Please pick a category."
Celestia rubbed her chin as she looked at the big screen in front of her. Twilight watched her, seeing how calm she was in the midst of the hostile environment. With a smile, she pointed at one square on the screen.
"Feminism for 100," she said politely.
"Alright," Starlight pressed a button to show the question. "What is the cause of stallion sexual predators in our society?"
Celestia slammed her hoof on the red button before any of the others could react. "What is patriarchy?"
"Correct," Starlight said with a furrowed brow.
"What? That makes no sense!" Twilight blinked. "A patriarchal society and sexual predators are different concepts. Males being the rulers does not inherently mean that the males will aggressively seek out females to mate or rape-"
"-3000 bits for the purple asshole!" Starlight yelled and her word became law. "Now, Celestia, you may pick again."
"Feminism for 200."
Starlight cleared her throat. "What is the-"
Celestia slammed her hoof down again. "What is patriarchy?"
"Are you cheating?" Starlight growled.
"I just took a guess," Celestia shrugged.
"Fine...Celestia has 300 bits. She may go again."
"Feminism for 300."
"Ahem, the name of-"
"What is patriarchy!"
"By Tartarus! Not again!" Starlight rubbed her temples.
"Wait, are all the answers 'patriarchy?'" Twilight asked.
"Of course not!" Starlight shouted. "Feminism is about equal rights for all genders, not hating stallions. You act like it's about females only."
"Ahem, feminism for 500," Celestia spoke.
Starlight pressed the button and then-
"Patriarchy!" Twilight slammed her hoof down.
"Your answer must be in the form of a question!" Starlight frowned.
"What is patriarchy?" Twilight grinned.
"Incorrect," Starlight said simply and Twilight's points went down to -3500.
"How?!" Twilight covered her face.
"Well, if you listened to the question, maybe you could've answered correctly," Starlight rolled her eyes. "Moron."
"May we hear the question then?" Cadance asked.
"Ahem, if you are not feminist, then you are?"
Luna pressed the button. "Non-feminist!"
"Wrong..."
Luna blinked. "What? But that has to be the answer!"
Starlight rolled her eyes. "Technically, yes. There's a better word for it."
"Wait! I know this!" Twilight swung her legs about.
"You already answered!" Starlight snapped. "Just sit there and shut up!"
Twilight lowered her head in shame. Celestia stroked her chin with a grin on her face. She pressed the button.
"What is Starlight Glimmer?"
"That's...hey!" Starlight yelled. "I'm not the answer!"
"Yes, we all knew that already," Celestia chuckled.
"-1000 points for your royal ass!"
A -500 appeared on Celestia's screen. The Princess of the Sun took the score with pride. Cadance remained politely on her end and looked at everypony before pressing her button.
"What is a sexist?" she hesitantly asked.
"Correct!" Starlight brightened. "Cadance is now in the lead."
"Should I be proud of that?" the Princess of Love whispered to herself.
The crowd clapped their hooves at the pink princess's success. Twilight leaned over to see the scores for each contestant. She had -3500 while Luna had 0 and Cadance had 500. She gasped as she realized something was wrong.
"Hey! I lost points for my incorrect answer, but Celestia and Luna didn't. I'm being treated unfairly!"
"What do you know of unfair? You're an alicorn! Not everything revolves around you," Starlight rolled her eyes.
"That's rac-"
"If you dare say that, a negative million points are heading your way, princess."
Twilight shut her mouth.
"Alright!" Starlight smiled. "Cadance, your pick."
"Um, how about social justice for 200?"
"Let's do it then," Starlight pressed her buttons. "Alright, so what are uninformed judgments created by unicorns to instigate hate or intolerance towards other races?"
Cadance pressed the button. "What are stereotypes?"
"Correct."
"Bullshit!" Twilight yelled.
"Language you shitface!" Starlight yelled back. "This is a family show!"
Twilight did the Canterlot sigh and stayed quiet. Cadance glanced worriedly over to the young princess before continuing. "Racism for 300."
"Where is the capital of racism?"
"Where is Canterlot?"
"Correct!"
"Where is the bleach?" Twilight grumbled. "Cause I need some for my brain."
The crowd promptly booed the purple book horse.
"Twilight, please calm down," Cadance told her calmly. "I'll take racism for 400."
Starlight cleared her throat. "What is the original source of racism?"
"What is Starlight Glimmer?" Celestia pressed the button.
"-2000 for you..." the host growled.
"What is a unicorn?" Cadance answered.
"Correct!" Starlight then paused. "Oh don't look at me like that!"
All the princesses stared at her with their front legs crossed. Starlight looked at them and then looked out to the crowd who also crossed their legs at her in disapproval. She smiled awkwardly and loosened the collar around her neck.
"Yes, I am a unicorn and I am inherently racist because of it."
"You took this host job away from a pegasus, didn't you?" Celestia asked knowingly.
"I thought I would be the best host available because I know you guys..." Starlight gulped.
"Because a pegasus wouldn't do as well as you and your fat horn, eh?" Twilight snarled.
"Look who's talking!" Starlight rolled her eyes.
"Starlight Glimmer, according to your beliefs, alicorns are not the root of all racism. You are more racist than us," Luna said confidently.
"Next question please..." she said to Cadance who remained silent.
"How could you, Starlight?" Celestia sounded hurt. "It sickens me that you take a pegasus's job away like that."
"The pegasus was a stallion!" Starlight raised her voice. "I am promoting mare equality."
"So it's OK to be racist if you are a mare?" Celestia leaned forward and awaited the answer.
"Next question!" Starlight screamed at the Princess of Love.
The crowd started to boo Starlight.
"Ya'll a bunch of mindless sheep!" she yelled at them. "I'm not racist!"
"You're a straight unicorn!" Twilight laughed. "Who are you to say you aren't racist?"
"Your unicorn privilege is showing and it looks terrible," Celestia said in disgust.
The booing became louder. Starlight grew red in the face and then she threw her host buttons down on the floor. She looked like she was about to burst.
"Fine! You all lose! There you go, negative infinity points for all your worthless flanks!" she screamed before storming off the stage.
The crowd cheered at her leaving. The four alicorns clapped their hooves in victory.
"Yes!" Twilight gleamed. "I'm not in last place anymore."
"Whatever," Cadance said. "I still won this game."
=
It's...it's beautiful *sniff*
FATALITY
Starlight needs to be seriously scrubbed by the Elements. Yea she just showed how racist she is but she will not learn anything because she is completely nuts.
Why can't I press the Favorite button more than once???
7375440 It's a feature not yet implemented by Fimfiction unfortunately.
So Gap, how do you plan to top this?
7375517 by watching Black Lives Matter
7375796 Those damn unicorns tho
7375533 Oh gods no.
This story needs to be made into an audio adaptation on Youtube.
7377212 I rather take a comic form for this one.
7375533 well I see no way that poking fun at a legit movement that has been (partially) hijacked by black supremacists can cause about a 10 times greater of an outrage than anything else in this story so far. Nope, no way at all (insert LiarJack face)
7381400 legit? Naw, it's not even legit. It started with black supremacists, it'll end with black supremacists. They base their whole argument on two things: self entitlement and history decades old. BLM was born in the riots for a criminal and they will not stop until they get all their pathetic demands. There was never a hijacking. This is simply what BLM is. Heck, even social justice warriors have had a more innocent origin.
Until BLM does anything to improve interracial relations, they are nothing more than a bunch of racist whiners and morons. They approve segregation, they hate whites, and they abandon their own kind to push a racist agenda for their own personal satisfaction . Any person who is not one of these things should leave BLM for good so that the group (they aren't even a movement) will die out in the flames they have created. BLM is a racist group that creates more boundaries between races. They have no real love for blacks as if they did, they would be trying to fix their black communities full of murderers before they tell everyone else how awful they are.
7383539 i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/466/626/c18.gif
I am ashamed
Rarity STEAMS with anger! "I'll have you know I've been nothing but faithful to my dear Spiky-Wikey!"
Twilight erfs, "Wait... Rarity... you and Spike... have been... oh Godlestia..."
Rarity salivates, "I just give a few juicy gems to trigger a tidbit bit of greed growth and batten down the hatches! Oh how he gives me the shivers when he growls out 'Spike WANT' and grabs my haunches in those fearsome talons! At least I'm already white, because when he's done with me... hee hee hee!"
Twilight gags, "TMI... totally TMI...."
Starlight uses the Brain Bleach Spell on herself and becomes a trial lawyer.
The End!
7381619 Social justice warriors simply don't understand anything. At all.
They're completely naĂŻve to life. So, therefore, innocent... and stupid.
I am starting the No Lives Matter (Except Mine) movement.
Since I am immortal and the entire universe will be a dead nothing while I go on forever...
7381619 Wait, you really think the BLM movement is racist? That it thinks that black lives are more important than white lives? That they hate police and that they want black people to rule over others and that it doesn't do anything to help interratial relations as to stop police bias due to the colour of their skin? That the death of a human being is justified just because they committed a minor crime?
...I'm out. I'm done with this story.
7392396 You don't live in the country or the state that they have control over. So.....bye! You have not witnessed their atrocious behavior and see the lies they throw out to shoot cops in Dallas. 5 cops in Dallas are dead and 21 or more are injured in Minnesota because of BLM racist rhetoric. Missouri University is losing money and students because whites are being fired for being white. The stats they use are complete lies and they think any stats that don't support them are racist. They hate the words "all lives matter" because they want to be the center of attention.
Blacks make up 30% of USA's crime and yet only have 13% of the population and they STILL have fewer deaths to cops than whites THIS YEAR. They have more encounters with police than whites do and thus whites are more likely to be shot and killed by cops by 21.3%.
And above all that, they don't help blacks. Tearing down cops is not going to keep gang-ridden black neighborhoods from killing each other. Most blacks die to blacks! If they cared, they would fix themselves before going against anyone in a uniform. It's also not about cops killing blacks because they don't care if a black is shot by a black cop, only white cops. They defend criminals who do not cooperate with law enforcement and in a nation where everyone can have a gun, the risks are very high. One black guy even broke into a cop's house and was shot by the off-duty officer and they STILL riot and protest. They are cannot be defended. They have no true intentions other than creating more divides between races.
7387108 oh god, I'll be stuck with you forever.
When's the next train to the nearest alternate reality.
7402294 Time to sing our anthem!
This is the song that never ends, it just goes on and on, my friends!
Somebody started singing it, not knowing what it was,
And then they kept on singing it forever just because...
This is the song that never ends...
(Eternity awaits you... as does Alondro... singing... forever...)
7392475
What exactly do you mean by fix themselves. Blacks are not some item you can count. They all there own people with their own personalitys and and there own reason for doing things. Like one person may be a thief for malicious intent while another to help his poor family. This is not limited to African American that's just humans in general. So once again I must ask what do you mean fixed because human aren't just some tool you fix. I also respectively disagree with the BLM begin racist. There's a saying ya know"The greatest atrocities have had good intentions" I think it's a bit short sided to think this just about black people being more important than white people. A please don't pretend that police bias isn't a thing because I have way to much proof against that.
In reply to people being fired for their color, that's horrible I'm sorry that happened. Most reasonable black people would never claim that rasicm to white people doesn't happen. I feel it harder on white males since there not a so called minority and don't need that much help. Some people just choose to focus on what in their opinion is the biggest issue, except the big picture is that rasicm is a thing anyone can face and needs to be minimized. Either way that doesn't change that some people are at risked at being shot for their color. Black supremacist suck too but they don't kill a whole statement regardless of who started it. I would like to asks where you got those percentages on crime rate because I've heard different ones. Though I've already ranted how you can't put a rating on someone because numbers. Zootopia taught the lesson that when you early expectations on someone (positive or negative) don't be surprised if the feel required to fulfill them.
Ps sorry for any spelling mistakes and long comment
Pps I love your story!
7467686 Fix as in fix their culture. Them being poor does not mean they have a gangster and thug culture. There is far more to it than that. A good example of this culture is shown in their rap music. It promotes the thug life. Now, of course it's jot just that, but it is a good picture of whst I am saying. They need to fix themselves in have way less single moms and way less violence. It's not easy, but it is more helpful than blaming the police or society. They have almost 50% single mom rates. That means most blaxk boys are growing without a father figure. That really messes with a kid. A kid having both parents is far more likely to not end up in crime.
Sorry, the honorable thief thing isn't as common as fantasy will make it. If you broke the law and fought or struggled with police, you deserve anything that happens to you. Doesn't matter if ya black or white. Don't fight the police!!!!
BLM is racist and they are anti police. Look at Dallas, look at the influx of cop killings caused by BLM rhetoric. Listen to BLM speeches. Listen to them victimize themselves and blame all their failures on whites and white privilege. Blacks who are not racist have not joined the ranks of BLM. BLM does in no way represent African-Americans. They represent a portion that think that skin color is as deep as humanity gets.
The "atrocities" saying is absolutely terrible. That is justifying the deaths of innocent cops who now have left their families because hey! They were cops, so they had to be anti black, right? All lives matter. If you have to take innocent lives for your "good intentions" perhaps your intentions are not good. BLM have killed people, mate, that's how serious this is. Also, "all lives matter" is racist to a BLM member. Search it.
I got the percentage rates from the FBI and the Guardian. You hear different because BLM make up tons of percentages. The Armoured Skeptic has a good video on this in his "shut up you have free speech" video. Also search Louder with Crowder on the numbers. He uses the same as mine, so by BLM logic, that means he and I are racists.
You can put ratings on people due to numbers. Numbers don't lie, people do. Don't let a Disney movie influence you too much in this. Zootopia and BLM are not even comparable.
BLM in Mizzou was started by a dumb kid named Jonathan Butler. His dad makes 6 million a year. Look Butler up. He race baited all his time in Mizzou. He even stole food from hotels just to get reactions to call out racism. BLM leaders are scum. Find one for me that isn't a racist, criminal, or both. Heck, even the leader that got invited to the white house dealt in human trafficking.
Oh and to top it off, search the Vancouver gay pride in relations with BLM. Yeah, BLM there even tried to ban cops from attending. The Vancouver Police even promote gay pride and BLM didn't want them there. That's obviously anti police.
7467846
I never meant to claim that attacking the police is ok. Honestly it's kinda stupid to attack someone who has a weapon. I still think that this whole fix yourself thing is a bit misguided and I know that people steal for different reason Those were just 2 examples. I mean how does one began to fix a community. For one thing. Also other cultures have problems do they have to fix them selves. I don't believe it's rap's fault If some idiot robs a bank because they heard it in a song. Do you know how hard it is to get a realistic number on how many people have 1 parent and that's not even just a black thing lately lots of couples get divorces and sometimes that leads to a single parent. Tons of kids I know have single parents and their not robbing banks most of them aren't even black. Also that saying wasn't meant to say if you do something wrong for the right reason it's okay, the real message was just because something is done for the right reasons doesn't make it right. I'm not trying to defend black supremacist I just want to defend the reasonable people who sometimes worry about police brutality, though I don't think it's as big a problem that some think
7470397 It is all in the numbers. The police brutality is no where near as extreme as they say. Single mom kids are more likely to become thugs because they lack a father figure. It's the culture around it that makes the real difference. Kids growing up in the ghetto are surrounded by the thug culture and will be pushed into it. It's that thug culture that the blacks need to fix before targeting policemen.
Blacks kill more blacks than anyone else. It's sad but BLM will do nothing to fix that. That's where their statements really collide with their actions. If black lives did matter they would be pushing to end gang violence.
Sorry if I do sound misguided but it's how it is unfortunately. Glad ya liked my story and that you are willing to challenge me. However until black lives matter really start to calm things down and start to regularly speak with police, my views on them are likely not to change.
7471380
That makes sense. Nothing will ever get done if black don't stop killing themselves in gang violence. It's a sad truth.
Guys, you aren't going to believe this but the fucking cancer is setting in here on the site too. This just got opened today and the only reason I know about it is because I follow one of these people and he's very much a Progressive. (Boldened to highlight their views.)
FimFiction Social Democrats
Nice, more social justice warriors and cultural marxists.
7477693 Well then, what are we waiting for? Where's a group for our people? If they have a social justice group, we should have an egalitarianism group, no? A sort of safe space (hehe) for people of an offensive nature.
Actually, if we do have such a group, it will be a debate group. People need to know not what to think, but HOW TO THINK. Simple as that.
7478257 I don't think I've seen one like that on here. I did give out some opinions on a recent blog post to the admin of that group recently and he seems convinced his ideas are better.
May as well start a group. Anything should be on the table to be discussed, short of trolling, including politically incorrect topics, language, and "offensive" material. Only way to know what's good is to test ideas.
7478307 Well, you can't do something like that. A group that is a direct opponent or "hate group" will be expelled upon creation. If we do make a group, it will be one of logical freedom of speech. We shall be anything BUT like the people this story parodies. That means we hold ourselves to proper standards in the midst of childish or immature adversity. It shall be a place where Logic Prevails.
7478325 You're a better thoughts person than I am right now. Way too sluggish today for some reason. And yeah, that sounds like a better idea. We wouldn't be in direct opposition to other groups though, but at least more accepting of talking about different ideas with Critical Thinking. I've got a book around I need to read through it.
7478374 https://www.fimfiction.net/group/211269/logic-prevails Here's the group I just made. See if ya like how I set it up.
I will tongue kiss you... if you're a girl.
7478405 If I were a girl, I'd be the most logical woman in existence.
Ok, that sounded a bit misogynistic. I is sorry
7478412 You'd at least be much smarter than these women.
God, I love YouTube. There's thousands of these videos right now in huge cringe and fail compilations. People are awakening to the madness.
7478440 You had to remind me of them...
7478445 I'm sorry for triggering your PTSD. I keep forgetting too much feminist news and videos will do that.