Season 6: Bonus: Prince(cess)
"Ugh look at that thing..."
"Honey! That's our daughter!"
"I know....she just looks like you too much..."
"...Ouch."
Cadance and Shining Armor inspected their child princess who was smiling in her little crib. Flurry Heart's wings were spread wide and her little hoofs tried to reach out of her parents. Cadance tried to smile back at the little one but she grunted and looked at her husband instead.
"The only thing she's got are my wings..." she grunted.
"Honey, what's with ya? You're grumpy," Shining observed.
"I just had childbirth. I'm pretty freakin' pissed right now. Do you even realize how much pain I went through?"
"Well...no..."
"I did everything! All for this little runt that'll grow up and fight me on a day to day basis!"
"I helped..." Shining nervously said.
"You did a pretty poor job there too. Ugh..."
"I'm...I'm sorry..."
"Hey Cadance, hey Shining!" Twilight called to them as she entered the room. "How's my new niece?"
"She's doing great! Ya finally arrived from Ponyville?" Shining said in his usual bro voice.
"Yeah. It's crazy over there these days. Just....crazy," Twilight tried to sound optimistic.
Twilight was about to continue, but she was forcefully shoved over from behind by an angry pink unicorn. Starlight Glimmer stood over Twilight with a mad snarl that the latter could not see because her face was firmly planted in the crystal floor.
"You horrid parents!" the mad unicorn yelled at the young couple.
"Who are you?" Cadance annoyingly asked.
"I am the pony who's going to show you the errors of your ways, princess," Starlight brought her sass with her.
Starlight stomped over to Flurry Heart's crib and gestured her with with an oustretched hoof. "You have already called her a princess."
Shining Armor and Cadance looked at each other before raising their brows. "So?" Cadance asked. "Are you one of those ponies who believe she shouldn't have a title because of royal birth?"
Starlight blinked. "What? No! It's that you have already given her a gender!"
"Huh?" Shining could huh scrunch his face in confusion.
"Do I really have to explain it?" Starlight sighed.
"Yup," all three other ponies said at once, though Twilight's words sounded only likely a muffle "hmph."
"She's Princess Flurry Heart before she can even speak. You two are raising her with a female gender. She ought to have a choice in the matter. The best way to raise a child is to raise her/him genderless until they choose a gender to be."
"But you just said she can't speak yet, how will she know which gender she is?" Cadance ventured.
"Why, a pony can be born with the wrong type of brain," Starlight explained casually. "And she'll know in due time."
"I can tell," Shining remarked under his breath.
"Flurry could be a colt trapped in a filly's body for all we know," Starlight continued. "It's best to not dictate what she should be. It's her choice, not the parent's."
Cadance looked about in a frustrated manner before snorting in a very horse-like way. "Have you ever raised a child?"
"Nope, nor do I ever plan to," Starlight chuckled. "I don't need a stallion or a child in my life."
"Yet you come in here like you know better than us?"
"Well, you haven't raised a child either, so that is not a point to be made. You shouldn't look at me like that, I'm trying to help you and her or possibly him," she finished by pointing at the little princess again.
"I gave birth to that winged monster," Cadance growled, "and I'm gonna love her to death! I won't have some nobody unicorn come in and tell me how to love my little girl!"
"But she could not be a girl. Listen to me-"
"No! She's my cute little princess and she's staying that way!"
"Then you will traumatize and abuse her! If she decides she's a colt, are you going to punish her for that, huh? Are you gonna lock her up until she is forced to be what she isn't? A good parent will help her choose her own path, not dictate it like some royal fundamentalist!"
Cadance jumped up and down. "Go away!"
"Or if she decides her sexual orientation? Will you tie her to a whipping post if she decides to be lesbian or bisexual? Huh? Will you force her into pink dresses if she finds out she is in the wrong body and wants to be a transgender?"
"She's a freakin' little foal! What does she know? She can't even say 'momma' or anything!" Shining interjected.
"I tell you these things for the sake of Flurry Heart. I don't want her to be another victim of child abuse, physical or mental. However, you two seem like awful and forceful parents! Maybe you should hand her over to some more progressive couples to handle."
Starlight picked up Flurry Heart with her magic. Cadance's face turned red her horn fired up. Before Starlight could do anything, she was rightfully blasted away by a beam of magic. The unicorn screamed as she was blown through the Palace wall and sent hurling below. Little Flurry Heart was released and she gently fell back in her crib, laughing hysterically all the way.
"No one touches my little girl!!" Cadance roared.
Shining Armor cowered away from his furious wife. Twilight was wide-eyed by the whole thing. Cadance stood there, breathing heavily as smoke emitted from the tip of her horn. She then walked over to the crib and her entire expression changed instantly.
"Aw! Who's my little princess? Huh?" she started doting on the little foal. "You are so cute for being a little pain in my-"
Twilight and Shining looked at each other.
"Uhh...I think we should go," Shining uttered.
"Sure. I think that's smart," Twilight agreed.
"So, do ya think Starlight survived that?" he asked as they left the cheerful mother.
Twilight nodded. "She had to. And I probably have to pay for her medical bills....again..."
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Let this be a lesson, Starlight... DON'T FUCK WITH MOMMA BIRD'S CHICKS.
EDIT:She was born a pegasus, after all.
6903889 Shining Armor often hears her call out like a crow in the night and when she's mad, she kicks him out of the nest she made. She also spends time with Rainbow in the bird baths out in the parks and dive bomb on rats or small critters...
....That's really racist....I am so sorry
l really wish we could upvote individual chapters because if we could, l certainly would do that.
You know if you shatter Starlight Glimmer's jab and then claim that speeding up her healing with magic would hurt her, Twilight could get a little peace and quiet. Wait I know she could be assigned to help the prisoners in Tarterus, or however you spell that place. That way she is away from everypony and she gets the blame when Tirek or any other baddie gets out and causes trouble.
6903937 Well don't worry, Starlight got a nice bed in the hospital next to Featherweight.
6903945
Then I hope Feathweight has exceptionally bad gas. I know logic and common sense will not work on Starlight Glimmer but she needs to have a better brain to mouth filter. Not even sending her to the Equestria Girls universe will help because she will never learn, plus that would be mean to Sunset Shimmer to dump Starlight Glimmer on her.
Shining Armor looked over at his sister as they left the room, lowering his voice and looking backwards. "Hey, sis," he whispered. "I've got the Crystal Empire credit card. Do you want to make a quick trip over to Stall-Mart and pick up every single pink foal toy in their inventory?"
"Oooo, yeah," said Twilight with a distant gleam in her eye. "But don't you think we should pick up something for your daughter too?"
6904047 The amount of burn cannot be expressed with simple text.
what do you mean by sexualsexual?
6904188 As a sexualsexual person I find that comment very ignorant and offensive!!!11!
Weird...I was just reading about Social Justice Warriors like...A few days ago. And then I see this.
6904188 JumpingFrogs gets it. Get with modern times.
6904372 Well I know that kinda feeling. Glad ya found it.
6904556 6904330
I'm sorry! I was just asking a question.
fc07.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2011/340/e/b/sad_little_lyra_by_infernaldalek-d4icpqj.png
I'm wondering how long she can keep pestering them until they all just say 'Screw it, go live in your stupid little town and stay the hell away from all us normal ponies!'
6905005 And maybe she'll find Dinks in the house...
Quick! We must change our entire culture because 0.05% of the population feel like they're in the wrong body!
I will never understand their mentality except that it's a cry for attention or wanting social power over others with their dumb crap.
You should totally write a chapter where Starlight meets the Wonderbolts. She either commends them for being a pegasus organization or accuses them of racism. Your pick.
6907998 Uhhh...can't tell if ya being serious. Are you suggesting Lyra and Bon Bon are bisexual? Or is it that Twilight says she's lesbian? Because the spell makes them homosexual sex hungry ponies. I did not mess up anywhere in the chapter. Either way, why do you care? I would be more worried about orphan children or the economy than if someone used the "right" term. But like I said, I didn't mess up anywhere in the chapter.
6908012 Nah, Starlight would pity them and think they are an oppressed military sect. They can't earn any medals cause they are pegasi, right?
6908127 True. Then Starlight breaks when Spitfire shows her the medals.
6920900 It's not "preference," it's "orientation." Get yo terms right!
6921967 Would the author of a PC parody be serious about anything? Come on Key, the logic points to the comedy writer being a joker! OF course I'm being silly!!!
6904871 it was a joke. And how dare you use a unicorn picture! Why didn't you use a Pegasus or earth pony picture? Racist!
6926606
img.memecdn.com/twilight-sparkle_o_893289.jpg
Don't worry, I got that right away.
Is just that was the only appropriate way I could think to respond.
...
I still want to know what a sexualsexual orientation is tho.
i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/545/944/4fb.png
I need to know!
~Leonzilla
6926904 Sexualsexual orientation Is when you are sexually attracted to sexually sexy people.
so in other words, you'll be attracted to me.
6926964 troll.me/images/bert/if-you-say-so.jpg
That used to be what natural selection took care of... EVOLUTION DEMANDS EXTERMINATION OF THE IMPERFECT!!
thedigitalinkwell.com/wp-content/uploads/FP3134-DOCTOR-WHO-daleks-exterminate.jpg
6926964 People are nauseated by my appearance.
They're racist against the hideous!
s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/8f/11/2e/8f112e7917d96709ecd8e396c33fffdd.jpg
6905507 This should help you understand their mentality.