Twilight sat at her bedroom desk, reading a thick book with a bob of her head. She was humming a tune that got stuck in her mind for now three days straight. What the book was about was not important, so any time describing it would be a waste.
She finished a page and with her magic, turned to another. To her shock, this next page did not possess written words, but a flat face smiling at her. The uneven grin belonged to none other than Discord, who winked at her slyly. Twilight returned the wink with a glare; it was too early for this sort of thing.
"Discord, get out of my book," Twilight ordered.
"Well, I won't object, my dear," the draconequus said as she pulled himself out of the parchment. "It's rather tight in there. I could use the stretching room!"
He slithered out and his great size filled the bedroom. He giggled to himself as he rested his furry chest on Twilight's bed. The princess knew he was up to something more conniving than usual. It was easy to tell he was dying to tell her a chaotic plan.
"What's with you today?" she asked accusingly.
"Oh, I have just been reminiscing on the days since Celestia returned to the throne! It's been glorious! Starlight's brigade have been nonstop with their whining, complaining, and general wailing. Hehe, it's fun, but it is starting to get old. I feel that something new must happen. More action instead of crying, you know?"
"Maybe..." Twilight answered with uncertainty.
"Perhaps it's time to step it up a notch or even two!" Discord cackled. "Oh! Just think of it. It needs to be along the insanity that has been here the last few months. It needs to be so wild that nopony will believe it exists!"
"What are you thinking?" Twilight deadpanned.
"Why, an organization that stands for two things that are polar opposite, yet they wish to achieve both at once! What wonderful chaos that would be! I was speaking with Fluttershy last night and I'll tell you, the girl can have some great ideas within that cute head of hers. Do you know what she came up with?"
"No..."
"She came up with anarchy and communism! An organization that seeks both! Anarcho-communists! They want the statelessness of anarchy, but want all things controlled by the state like in communism! Oh, how clever! I'll lead it!"
"Discord," Twilight rolled her eyes. "Nopony is going to join such a backwards group. Nopony is that stupid..."
=-=
"What were you saying, my dear Twilight?" Discord chuckled in her ear.
Twilight did not answer him as her eye twitched. She stared at the television screen that aired the news. The images displayed ponies in black rioting in the streets of Canterlot. They held signs that screamed for both communism and anarchy.
"Where did you find these ponies?" Twilight asked worriedly.
"Oh, you know, the internet," Discord shrugged. It's quite easy. Just call it a 'revolution' and they'll run to you. Ponies are such a fascinating species. They simply make no sense sometimes. Oh, that's why they're my favorites, hehe. Oh, and let me not forget that promising them free donuts helps too."
=.=
"Your Highness! There are rioters right outside the palace!"
Luna sipped on her coffee while the Royal Guard shouted at her from below the throne. She raised a nonchalant brow at him, making him gulp. She did not like being disturbed while drinking her evening coffee.
"There are always rioters out there, my stallion," she rolled her eyes. "By this point, they are decoration for the porch."
"Yes, but they are rowdy. We may have to disperse them," the Royal Guard said fearfully.
"Well then, do not hesitate! Gather urine and pitch it at them from the front balcony!" Luna ordered.
"Your Highness, we no longer use that method," the Royal Guard reminded her.
"Hmph! It is my orders! You stallions have become soft under my sister! Back in my day, these peasants would be drenched in urine and feces by now! You want to drive them away with hugs now..."
"Well, that has worked in the past..." the Royal Guard squeaked.
"Ugh..." Luna sighed. "Why are ponies so nonsensical?"
=/=
Let me guess Discord created an Equestrian version of the American Communist Labor Union. Oops sorry I meant the American Crazy Loco United. Crap I did it again what ever that hate group is that attacks Christianity with that acronym.
Why am I still reading this... I find it very hard to think of an answer.... please continue wherever you're going with this
It is difficult to write parody, because reality is just so darned weird.
7919957 I know. It's so difficult. I seem to lack the very mind to create something more absurd than real life.
I actually met one of these idiots while waiting for cops to take a drugged out rock fan off the Ben Franklin Bridge last autumn (which had me stuck in Philly after work for 3 hours). As one might expect, this anarchist communist wanted the government to take care of him and was unemployed. He'd also gone to college for sociology. Surprise surprise.
7920129 Praise Kek
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
7919444 Extremism is relative. Gandhi was considered an extremist by many in his day.
Discord you magnificent bastard!
JARATE!!!
Fuck those guys. Especially what they did recently...
I know I'm years late to the party, but I'm re-reading this beautiful mess and I felt like I could shed some light here:
Communism - in its best, purest, most communist form - is anarchy. The basis of communism is (or at least is supposed to be) the community, the group of people who make up a village or a clan or what have you. You know, a group of people that's small enough that they can organize a communal storage system and they all know and care about one another.
On the other hand, socialism is the one that requires the government to organize everything. It's based on the level of the society rather than the community, and therefore requires massive government bureaucracy and the government seizing the means of production and all that.
Basically, if you ever meet an "anarcho-communist" who is advocating for any kind of government to exist at all, they don't know what communism is, and they definitely don't know the first thing about anarchy.
(Sorry for the rant, but it always grinds my gears a little when people argue about the relative stances of communism and socialism without knowing what those two things actually are. Particularly when they claim to support one or the other - or even worse, both.)
“If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.”
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War
EDIT: I am neither a communist nor a socialist. I argue with them frequently. Hence, the Sun Tzu quote.