The Specter Smackers
"Darling, what are you reading?"
"Oh, hey Rarity! I was just looking at the newspaper. Some interesting stuff going on in the comic world."
"Comics? Why Twilight, are you into that sort of thing?"
"Oh no, I just like reading them so that I can have something to talk about with Spike. that's all."
Rarity walked over to Twilight, who was sitting on her throne. She was levitating several newspapers before her and had some others rolled up on the floor beside her. Being so desperate to read anything and everything, she was subscribed to many different magazines and newspapers.
"Good heavens, what are the Specter Smackers?" Rarity asked upon seeing the title of one article of a magazine.
"They were a comedic comic series that was around this group of stallions that fought against the paranormal," Twilight explained. "The article here is about how they all are mares now in the reboot."
Rarity scanned the page. "It seems they are being ill-treated..."
Twilight read on. "Well, according to this article and Starlight, this reboot is happening to provide diversity in comics and reduce sexism."
"I can already tell where this is going..." was the sigh from the fashion mare.
"And so, after they revealed it, the equal ponies are now angry due to the portrayal of the characters."
"But they wanted that, right?"
"Yes. I guess it just didn't work. You can never make these ponies happy, can you?"
They continued to read it. That was not the only thing. It was not much of an article that was mostly coming from the rowdy hear-say of other ponies. That and polls. Lots of polls. Rarity and Twilight giggled at the present irony, but did not speak more of it after they were done.
~ONE WEEK LATER~
"Hey Rarity!" Twilight waved at her friend. "Do you remember the article about the Specter Smackers last week?"
Rarity nodded and placed her bag on the Cutie Map, crushing some mountain. "Why yes. Is there something new about it?"
"Well, apparently the equal ponies are now saying it's sexist not to go buy it!" Twilight told her. "And that its dropping sales is proof of the ever-present patriarchy in Equestria."
"How in Equestria can anypony think there is a patriarchy when Equestria has never had a stallion as sole ruler of the land?"
Twilight shrugged. "It says here that rampant sexism is running throughout Equestria as misogynistic stallions are leading the charge to boycott this upcoming series. It also says that-"
"This is the reason why feminism needs to rise again!" screamed an interrupting voice.
Both mares looked up to see Starlight Glimmer with a frown on her face. The grumpy unicorn steadily walked up to them and forcibly snatched the magazine from Twilight's hooves. She then ran a quick eye through the whole page and threw it on the Cutie Map, absolutely wrecking Manehatten.
"And you tell me that there's no patriarchy, hmph!" she huffed.
"Wait, how is this proof?" Twilight raised a brow.
"Really? Hmph! It's proof because there's no other reason why ponies would choose to ignore such a loved franchise. I grew up with the Specter Smackers and I am in no way upset at this reboot. You know why? Because I'm not some misogynistic asshole! I-"
"You grew up with them? I thought by the time they first came out, you were isolated in a village way up north," Twilight crossed her legs.
"That...That was before that..." Starlight hesitated.
"Alright, then what is one of the Specter Smacker's names?" Twilight asked.
"Billy Hoofing?" Starlight said awkwardly.
"Wrong," Twilight barked. "See? You're not even a fan of the series, of course you don't care about the reboot!"
"Fine! I have no idea who these ponies are, but that is beside the damn point! What matters is that there is no difference between these mares and those stallions. They are the same characters and they are doing the same things, but it's because they are mares that these stallions and those idiotic mares refuse to buy the comics. Their childhoods are ruined because they can't perceive a mare doing what a stallion does."
"Well of course there are things a mare can't do that a stallion can," Rarity spoke. "Our biological and mental differences make our sexes able to do other things bett-"
"Shut it!" Starlight hissed. "Don't be a bitch."
Rarity sighed and rolled her eyes, but said nothing.
"I'm not sure that's the issue, Starlight," Twilight continued. "Um, I think it's because, well, by these images, the dialogue, and the designs, they look um...cheap."
"That's because you are bigoted against me!" Starlight growled. "Are you ever want to do is disagree with me on everything! Even on something like this, where all the proof is in my favor! Maybe if you weren't cissexual and had half a brain, you could see the oppression on mares in this country."
"Starlight, you're cissexual," Twilight deadpanned.
"No, I'm not! By Tartarus, I'm cisgendered! Get your terms right, you moron! Cissexual is having the sexual orientation that you were, ahem, 'born' with or have always identified with. I did not start as asexual, but later became asexual. So that means I am not cissexual. Cisgendered is identifying as the gender you were born as. I was born a mare, and I identify as a mare, so I've never been a transgender."
"I thought you were straight?" Twilight asked.
"Nope, I'm asexual." she stated.
"Sunburst would like to say otherwise," Rarity coughed in her hoof.
"Shut it!" Starlight growled even louder.
They all stopped when they heard a familiar voice mumble in the hallway. Their ears perked up as a young dragon became louder and louder as he approached.
"Twilight!" Spike roared from the halls before entering the throne room. "Twilight! I just...I just have to speak my mind. It's about the new Specter Smackers!"
Spike stood there before the three mares and his cheeks were bright red against his purple scales. His claws were clenched around a magazine much like Twilight's. His was a little dragon ball of anger of the moment.
"What is it, Spike?" Twilight asked.
"It's...I..." he couldn't speak right in his anger. "It's this reboot! The characters are nothing like they were before! The dialogue sucks! I could draw the images better! Everything is a damn ripoff and unoriginal! I never wanted this to happen! No one wanted a reboot! It all sucks! It all sucks! I'm not going to buy this comic series ever! I ain't giving them a bit of my money! I earned it and I ain't gonna give it to these idiots! Thinking they can make money off a cheap reboot that is progressive and yet racist at the same time? Not ever from me! Twilight, I'm just so fucking peeved at this right now!"
Rarity gasped at the choice of words. Twilight frowned at her little brother. "Spike we never use the word 'peeved!'"
"Spike, I thought a pansexual dragon would understand this better. You are just as misogynistic as the others!" Starlight huffed.
"Miso-what now?" Spike blinked.
"She means you distrust females and believe they shouldn't have any authority," Twilight explained.
"What? Because of the new Specter Smackers? Pfft, it's not because they are mares, it's because it sucks! It's just a cash grab using the name of a beloved franchise. That's why I hate it. Not because they are mares," Spike said.
"Well...I....fine, I give up," Starlight threw her hooves in the air.
"We win?" Twilight gasped excitedly.
"No, you guys just don't get it. Keep on with your lives and continue being little bitches. I'm outta here!"
With that, Starlight stomped out of the throne room. The three watched her leave with blinking eyes. They were used to her storming off, but they never got tired of watching it in bewilderment. When she had left, they all looked at each other.
"Hmph, mares," Rarity shook her head. "I am one and not even I understand them fully...."
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So much this... so very very very much this.
7312270 You will find that everything the left supports is diametrically in opposition to something else they support.
They are the very definition of a house divided against itself.
In time, they'll utterly destroy themselves. Problem is, they'll take so many others down with them, which I cannot allow in good conscience.
Now, if I can get rid of that annoying conscience, then I can wait for the destruction and use it to my advantage and become Supreme Emperor and exterminate all who oppose me! *begins stabbing his conscience repeatedly*
This whole chapter was nothing but truth! I would also request to anyone reading this story to also not pirate this movie as well and encourage others to do so as well. If the movie goes like Fan4tic in theaters and nobody pirates it, that will send the loudest and most clear message possible to the director and the executive at Sony who green lit this movie that they failed.
You know, I thought this story was hyperbole.
7312574 A parody being hyperbole?!?!?1
Who would've thunk?!?1?1
The Ghostbusters drama is hyperbole itself, especially when AVGN (Angry Video Game Nerd) declared he was not reviewing the movie because of the reasons Spike listed). The cast and the director coming out and saying what Starlight said is pretty out there, but it's true.
Actually, I really, really try, but I still can't match true insanity of the SJWs. Some of the the stuff you just can't make up. Especially young feminists at universities:
7312511 I proudly have yet to watch Fant 4 Stick. I was actually one of the few when I heard Ghostbusters was being remade with a female cast to say "this could work." I still believe it could work, but it's clear they don't know what they are doing. Anything can work, just some things require more effort than others.
7312444 I probably won't do a chapter on the Orlando shooting, but I will say that the media turning it all into an "attack on LGBT and shows gay oppression in America" is pretty awful. This was an attack on something more than gays or lesbians, this was an attack on freedom and freedom of expression. Those victims were exercising a freedom they lack in several countries still today and the restricting dogma of Islam that would kill homosexuals, was performing its practices. We shouldn't be just coddling the LGBT as if you being a gay makes more a victim than those gays who were murdered (and you know, them being gay does not define them. It's shallow to think that all these people were...were just "gay." There's more to every person than their sexual orientation) America stands as one, despite all differing opinions. This shouldn't be just about protecting LGBTQ+, but protecting Americans from harm. But I rather not discuss it in the comments, we can have PMs instead.
7312614 Sorry, it's not your fault. Just reading the comments makes it seem that what is being is 100% accurate.
7312614
I was also going to give it a chance despite not finding Melissa McCarthy funny. That first trailer had me shaking my head in disgust, a 30 second puke joke is not Ghostbusters, it is juvenal toilet humor. Saw a good YouTube video (that I do not remember who did) that claimed that the director does parody films not direct films. They compared him to Mel Brooks and said if they had made the movie was a parody and not Ghostbusters it would not be receiving all this negativity.
7312624 Well, it's not based in falsehood. I actually just recreated the scene of the Ghostbusters drama using ponies instead of who actually were involved. Yes, I tried to exaggerate it, but I will not say I used much imagination. But the other chapters, yeah, you're right about them.
Twilight and Rarity are outsiders looking in that have never been real in touch with the franchise. Twilight knows about them, but not much. Basically, seen the movie a couple of times and moved on. Rarity is one who doesn't know at all. I based Twilight off my own reactions to the reboot after listening the to (very mean) director.
Starlight is based on the internet feminists. At first, they were like "this isn't what we wanted" when the first trailer aired. Then, after a month, they did a complete 180. The trailer is the most disliked movie trailer of ALL TIME, so they blame this on men trying to screw the movie over because they can't handle women in leading roles. Starlight is actually just parroting the feminists remarks on the dislike issue.
Spike is Angry Video Game Nerd and true Ghostbusters fans. They wanted to like this, but it is clear that the movie is going to be bad because they can't even make a trailer look good. The director told them to "F*** the haters!," and that made even more fans upset. Spike doesn't want to give any money because he knows, like the fans, that is a cash grab based on something they greatly adored.
You can find an overview on it here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hs59huYF0oI I don't like this guy, but he shows what happened well.
7312638 If they made it a Saturday Night Live skit, it would be fantastic.
7312663 But would you say that both sides are overreacting? One the one hand, you have people who are sexist and hate the movie because women are the lead role, but they are a minority. But it's absolutely ridiculous how many people absolutely despise this movie when it hasn't even come out yet. I mean, it's ridiculous. They act as if the original Ghostbusters film look like the second coming of Christ, but now these new trailers have come out with cliche jokes of this generation and new actresses, and the fans act as if this will annihilate the franchise. I've seen both of the old movies and did enjoy them, they were far from perfect. But these reactions are ridiculous. Heck: if the Ghostbusters could survive the 'Real Ghostbusters' cartoon, it won't be the end of the franchise. at least wait until it comes out before making these claims
On the other hand, there are people that say the movie is being hated just because of female leads, while they are not entirely incorrect (as there are still sexist people who hate women in lead roles), they also don't acknowledge that people aren't going to see this movie because they think it will look bad.
In conclusion: Extremism is bad in all forms in any media.
7312698 I agree with the extremism, but what I don't like is how the director and cast are taking it. The director thinks he's smarter than everyone else and the some of the actresses, like Leslie Jones, are perpetuating the myth that everyone who dislikes the movie is sexist.
Well, no one ever asked for this reboot. Hollywood is out of ideas and is simply trying to take advantage of the Ghostbusters' logo. As consumers, we have a right to watch or not watch something they produce. We also have the right to say that is not going to be good. If you watch the trailers, they are really bad. Bad trailers, more than not, lead to bad movies. So, yes, you can simply argue that "it hasn't come out yet," but it's very hard to argue that we should ignore how bad the acting and jokes are in these trailers. And no, the fans are not saying that Ghostbusters was the second coming of Christ, they are saying that it was made with heart. This new Ghostbusters is worse than a bad movie, it's taking advantage of consumers. It's a business practice that does not have integrity. That's the biggest problem and I have no problem with it failing if this means Hollywood would actually try and produce something of quality. This is why Star Wars, having Rey ( a female) as the lead role did not frighten people. (also, Rogue One has a female lead) They saw heart and quality and not a scam.
So yeah, it's all overblown in itself, but hopefully it will lead to something better.
7312802 The topic of Hollywood not having anything new has always been interesting. But what it comes down to is monetary gain. Directors need to make money and they have to come up with ideas on how to get ideas money from providers. To get this money, they need to persuade a funder that the movie will work and that it will make a profit. But the only way it can make a profit is through the audience. They need to get the audience to come see it and that requires multiple different approaches:
For a brand new idea, the film would require lots of advertising to catch audience's attention, interest, desire and a want to see the film. This takes time, money and effort.
But then you get something else: name recognition. With a name alone, this already catches audience's attention. The subject matter is already recognizable. For instance which film can you instantly recognize: a film about a man born old and over time turns into a child or Peanuts. With Peanuts, you know what it's about and what to expect and the studio doesn't have to worry too much with catching attention. Besides, just look at all the comic book/superhero films from Marvel and DC. They have films that both fans of comics and casual audiences can both enjoy.
Now of course, not all reboots and remakes are terrible, some even surpassing the originals (The Thing/True Grit/Casino Royale) but not all have been good. But then there were some great original movies that were flops in the box office as people didn't go see them (Citizen Kane/Donnie Darko). But in these recent years, when new movie ideas come out, they're not always great. Just look at Jupiter Ascending.
Also, as fantasy moves on, it's not easy to come up with new ideas without them being labelled as ripoffs and stolen material. It's going to be nigh impossible to make a film about a magic school in the modern world without someone saying it ripped off Harry Potter. Just how much can an original film be unique without it becoming too far from believable but too close to another source material? (I do know that Disney/Pixar/Dreamworks still come up with new original ideas, but I'm talking about more adult films)
In the end, in this new era of Internet streaming and Netflix, studios need to play it safe with movies in order to make money. If something is seen as too risky as people have no connection to it, they might not do it. But when they are presented with a film that already has fans due to a household name, especially if it's one that is nostalgic to a lot of people, then the studio will see it has a chance to make money and won't have that much of a risk, the'll go for it and fund it. I'm not saying that I agree with this approach, but I can empathise with the studios and their decisions.
(P.S the comments that the actresses and director were making to the haters were to the haters who complained about an all-female cast with none of the original cast. Not the people who didn't think it was funny.)
This is teh video all the regressives were trying to use as an example of misogyny and overpreviledged white males take when their beloved series is given a feministic touch.
All because he refuses to watch and review the movie. They ignore and call other female fans who raged up a storm over how bad the reboot was because those aren't real women, why would women not pay for a cashgrab where Sony thought it could make easy millions by exploiting nostalgia while attempting to appear sympathetic to feminist groups that approached them for this reboot?
150mil and Sony is now shitting their pants to a point they cut back on advertising the movie as much as possible.
The movie with a budget of 150 million starting before the 15 mil cut mid production somehow looks as visually appealing and 'high end' as a direct to DVD live action Scooby Doo film. The cast has no chemistry whatsoever, feels like they were just picked out at random save for the one girl who actually is a legit fan that tried to raise issue with the direction the movie was taking. It's all just Mehville from there. But the same asshats from Arstechnica and other known corrupt journalists from the whole attempts at demonizing gamers from the whole GamerGate and NotYourShield, because getting pwned by the very people you look down on sort of has a way of causing severe ass pains, all came to the defense of the movie (to the surprise of no one) with the most hilarious and shit articles where they point out the facts and how legit claims against the movie was while calling fans overly privileged misogynistic man-babies.
So yeah, Hollywood may find it safe to prey on nostalgia but Sony as per usual minimalist that they are, have become the prime example of why many don't bother going to theaters much outside of the usual Marvel movie. They just cater to trying to please investors and these feminazi organizations than worry about making a legit honest original movie, let alone respect the history of what a franchise means to the fans they were out to milk while thinking regressives would find such a hypocritical movie as something they'd willingly go out and pay to watch.
It's much a do about nothing. Movie is shit. Sony is regretting ever agreeing to this shit deal. And regressives are trying to blame it all on a patriarchy while once again implying only white males only ever cared for the Ghost Busters franchise so they hire or ask all their regressive journalist friends to attack those they see as the reason for this movie's backlash.
Clearly not a progressive because not of hive mind.
7312444 We are so going to become Venezuela in, oh, about 5 years at this rate.
And you know what? I'm not helping save anyone. If anything, I am going to aim to become Emperor, because it's clear the majority can no longer make decisions themselves. The astounding, almost incomprehensible bounds of stupidity hyper-prevalent in the world causes me to wonder if the species is indeed rapidly de-evolving!
7313688 It's simply a really stupid-looking cash-grab rehash of one of the greatest cinematic comedy classics of all time.
As I've noted on IMDB, it looks like the Wayans Brothers made it.
7321368 How dare you insult the Wayans Brothers. Even the scary movies have higher taste and class than whatever Sony crapped out.
7321384 "A Haunted House".
Nuff said.
7321398 Still a better trailer than 2016 Ghost Busters. :P
Oddly enough, I find Spike's tantrum to be borderline adorable.
7322709 except when he said peeved
7322865 Really, Spike? So unchivalrous.
7321442 And if that's a reflection of the movie... the best parts... wow, it's going to be awful.