//------------------------------//
// PC Police (Part 3) 
// Story: I'm Offensive and I Take Offense 
// by Gapeagle 
//------------------------------//

"Umm...Starlight? Why did you drag me to your room?"

"Because, oh Trixie, my dear, we have mission to accomplish."

Trixie raised a hesitant brow while the pink policemare snickered and cackled on the chair by her little desk. Her eyes were wide with excitement, yes much excitement, as her devious little mind schemed away. It was quite frightening.

"You know, Starlight, you did have your mob of ponies try to burn me," Trixie crossed her legs, "so why do you think I'll help you so easily?"

"I had you burned?" Starlight suddenly blinked in confusion.

"Yup!" Pinkie shouted through the window. "You did it in 'Revelations From a Likely Source!'"

"Huh..." Starlight stroked her chin. "Sorry about that."

Trixie rolled her eyes, "it's nothing, just lost my hat and cape and had to buy a new one. I also seem to have lost the ability to refer to myself in third person."

"Well, I hope it didn't cause too much trauma for you to be treated like a pegasus..."

"Yeah..."

Starlight and Trixie then sat for a little while in the awkward silence. Starlight tried to give a smile that warranted forgiveness from the light blue unicorn, but Trixie did not seem to return any benevolent feelings. After the awkward moment, Starlight rubbed the back of her neck and cleared her throat.

"Are you ready to raise awareness?" Starlight smiled and blinked in quick enthusiastic fashion.

"Perhaps. What is it that you are planning?"

"Why, nothing horrible," Starlight looked at the ceiling. "Just something to get the train rolling..."





"This is a terrible plan."

"No, it's not. You're a stage performer, you know how to act. This will all go great."

"I'm a magician, not a movie star!"

"Which is perfect. So many ponies could care less about your name because you aren't that popular. Nopony will ever recognize you."

"Thanks..."

Starlight Glimmer, still in her police uniform, placed a white hoofball cap on Trixie's head. It was a tight fit and Trixie's horn ripped through the top in a comical manner. 

Starlight clapped her hooves together. "Well, there you go. You look like a unicorn supremacist ready to do a hate crime!"

"I better not get in trouble for this..." Trixie glared at her friend.

Starlight leaned on Trixie's shoulder. "Don't worry, it's gonna be fine. You're just gonna threaten some pegasi, call them racist things, tell them that they aren't citizens of Equestria anymore and praise Celestia or even Ember."

"Ember? As in Dragonlord Ember?" Trixie blinked in confusion.

"Um, yeah?" Starlight rolled her eyes at her friend's obliviousness. "Ember interfered with the Equestria government to get Celestia back on the throne. Unicorn supremacists love her!"

"Wait, what?" Trixie raised a brow. "That makes no sens-"

"Shut up!" Starlight hissed. "You're my friend because you listen to me, not because you argue with me."

"Of course..." Trixie looked down in shame.

Starlight gave her a loving squeeze. "Good! Now, are you ready?" she asked sweetly.

"I guess..."

"Perfect! I see a potential victim right now!"

Starlight pointed a hoof at a white pegasus about a hundred feet away. The pegasus mare seemed like she was waiting for somepony, her eyes wandering about her surroundings. A perfectly normal pony doing perfectly normal things.

"I'm not sure..." Trixie gulped. 

"It's for the betterment of ponykind," Starlight urged her. "Equality rests on your shoulders! We must show the world that Celestia's followers will only bring hatred and torment to society! Go forth and do what you, as a unicorn, were born do to!"

Starlight shoved her friend forward, making her fall to the ground. Trixie quickly got back up and magically adjusted her white cap. With wide, nervous eyes, she trotted over to the pegasus with faux-confidence. 

"Hey you!" Trixie called out with a purposely gruff voice.

"Yes?" the pegasus smiled at her. "Do you need something?"

"I'm glad Celestia is princess now! I hope she gets rid of you all!" Trixie pointed her hoof.

"...what?" the pegasus raised a brow in utter bewilderment.

"You heard me you birdbrain!" Trixie shouted, desperately trying to sound threatening. "I hope she gets rid of you before I do!"

"Alright?" the pegasus shrugged, still very confused.

Trixie then stopped, tapping her chin in thought. What should she say next? She was not learned in the ways of calling ponies by racist words. She had never bothered to learn about pegasus insults, but mostly unicorn insults, as she loved to taunt other unicorns in magic competitions. 

"Are you Ok?" the pegasus asked sincerely. "I may be able to help. I minored in psychiatry." 

"I'm fine!" Trixie roared. "....Um....bye."

Trixie turned on her hooves and stomped away from the pegasus. The unicorn's gait was the sort of forced gait that a mare would make when her coltfriend didn't buy her chocolates. Loud, odd, and somewhat humorous. Trixie did this as fast as she thought she should without looking back.

"Good going, Trix!" Starlight rubbed her hooves together deviously. "Now it's my turn!"

Trying to appear as casual as a stripper cop mare could, she popped out from her hiding place and walked over to the pegasus. She leaned on the wall very police-like and cleared her throat to get the victim's attention. With a startled jump, the pegasus finally took notice of her.

"Gah!" the pegasus gasped. "Oh, hello, officer."

"Good evening!" Starlight said and tipped her hat. "How has your day been. I hope nopony has threatened you or anything."

"Um, yeah about that," the pegasus rubbed the back of her neck. "Some crazy blue unicorn mumbled loudly at me and stomped off that way."

"Really? Oh I've been getting reports about that-" she paused. "You said 'mumbled?'"

"Yeah, didn't understand a word she said."

Starlight frowned. "Blood damn brilli-I mean, really? That sounds rather odd." The unicorn policemare began to sweat.

"Well, I bet she means no harm. I hope you can find her and get her the help she needs,"

"Yeah, sure. Are you sure that she didn't say anything racist or pegaphobic?" Starlight leaned foward hopefully.

"I mean, 'I grab cell steak' could mean something? I think that's what she said...?"

"By the Sun, damnit!" Starlight hoofpalmed before recovering herself. "Um, have a great night, Miss." The policemare then stormed off in the direction that the crazed unicorn went. The pegasus stood there listening to the fading sounds of cursing from the policemare. 

The pegasus looked at the ground. "I'm not sure that's possible..."


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