After the party, Twilight resolved to take her studies of Friendship seriously. She decided to help her new friends with whatever inane task they needed help with. Twilight would help her friends no matter what!
Which explains why she and Spike woke up at the ass-crack of dawn to help Applejack harvest some apples.
"Thank ya fer doin' this, Twilight." said Applejack as she and Twilight lugged baskets of apples to her barn.
"Yeah, thanks Twilight..." muttered Spike as he stifled a yawn. He hopped on Twilight's back and said, "I don't know why I had to wake up early too..."
"If I have to wake up at 4 o'clock in the morning to help harvest apples, so do you." said Twilight. "Not that you've actually been any help."
"Hey!" said Spike as he started rifling through a basket Twilight was carrying. "I helped!"
"How?" asked Twilight.
"I was supervising!" said Spike.
"Taking a nap under a tree does not count as supervising." said Twilight.
"Anyway," said Applejack, cutting off Spike's retort, "Ah bet Big Macintosh that Ah could get all these apples into the barn by noon. If Ah win, he has ta walk down Stirrup Street in Granny Smith's sequin G-string." She started laughing maniacally.
"Yeah...that...that's real funny." said Twilight, laughing weakly. Trying not to imagine Big Mac in an old woman's sparkly thong, she continued, "It's no problem, Applejack. I'm glad that we're almost done though. I'm pretty hungry."
"Me too." said Spike. "I missed breakfast because of this!"
"Spike, you had breakfast." pointed out Twilight.
"I had one, yes." said Spike. "What about second breakfast?" He pulled out a shiny red apple from the basket. "Oh my God." said Spike.
"That looks delicious!" said Twilight.
"It's amazing!" said Spike.
"I'd value it above your life!" said Twilight.
"Me too!" agreed Spike. "...Wait, what?"
"Nothing." said Twilight quickly. "So...you gonna share that or..."
"NOPE!" yelled Spike as he wolfed down the apple.
Twilight watched in horror as apple debris flew from Spike's mouth as he scarfed down the apple. Tears welled up in her eyes.
Spike burped and looked at Twilight. "...What?"
"...You're fired." said Twilight.
Spike burped again, but instead of disgusting apple pieces, a letter flew out of his mouth. He grabbed it and started reading, "Hear ye, hear ye. Princess Celestia formally invites you to the Grand Galloping Gala. The Gala will be held in the capital city of Canterlot on the day the day the author of this story parodies the Season 1 finale. You, insert name here, are invited to the Gala and are allowed to bring one guest. Sucks if you have more than one than one friend!"
"The Grand Galloping Gala?" said both Twilight and Applejack.
"Did I stutter?" asked Spike. He burped again and two tickets flew out of his mouth.
"This is great!" said Twilight. "I've never been to the Gala! Have you, Spike?"
"Boy, have I!" answered Spike. He paused and thought out loud, "...Have I?"
One year ago
"-And then, I was like, 'Bitch, get yer own goddamn dictionary'!" slurred Spike, as he wobbled drunkenly. Empty bottles surrounded him and his drinking buddy.
"Wut...wut shee do then?" asked an equally intoxicated Princess Celestia.
"Ya know Twi..." said Spike. "She started crying, which made me start crying, a-and...and..." Spike sat down, clutched his knees, and started rocking back and forth. "God, I'm a horrible assistant!" He started to cry hysterically.
"I know wut ya mean, bro..." slurred Celestia. She awkwardly patted Spike on the back and said, "I remember when I put Loona on da moon. Cried fer days..." She thought for a moment. "Or was I crying cause I chipped a hoof? I can't really 'member too well..." She cheered up and said, "Hey!"
"Wut?" asked Spike.
"There was these sexy girls at the bar...let's go hook up with 'em!"
"Yeah!" said Spike, cheering up instantly. "Wait...aren't you a girl? Don't you like stalli-stall-st-dudes?"
"Pssh!" Scoffed the Princess. She got up and stumbled to the bar. "I'm Princess Celestia. I don't even give a fuck..."
Now
"I have no memory of the event in question." said Spike mechanically as his eyes darted back and forth. He cleared his throat and said with false bravado, "Like I would ever go to such a girly event! Hahaha..."
"Oh, come on Spike!" said Twilight. "A dance would be nice!"
"Nice?" interrupted Applejack. "It's a lot more than just nice! Ah'd sacrifice Apple Bloom fer a chance ta go!"
"What would you do there?" asked Twilight.
"Ah'd set up a food stand ta get more business fer the farm! With all the extra cash, we could replace the roof for the farm! Or replace that rusty old plow! Or fix Granny's hip! Or get enough money ta get Caramel lobotomized!"
"OvEr yoUR DEAD BodY!" yelled Caramel.
"Wow, it sounds like you really want to go." said Twilight.
"Ya think?" said Applejack.
"Well, if you want to go so bad, I could just give you the tic-"
Twilight's offer was cut off by a familiar voice yelling, "AW, CRAP!" Something blue fell from above and crashed into Applejack and Twilight. As the dust cleared, Spike saw that Rainbow Dash was sitting on Applejack and Twilight with a dazed look on her face.
"Whoa!" said Spike. "You okay, Dash?"
"Of course I'm okay. I'm the goddamn Rainbow Dash!" said Rainbow as she got off the others. "But enough about that!" She turned to Twilight and asked, "Are you guys talking about the Grand Galloping Gala!?"
"Rainbow Dash?!" yelled an outraged Applejack. "You told me that you were too busy ta help harvest apples!"
"Oh yeah." said Dash. "I lied." She flew towards Twilight, "Anyway, I overheard that you have an extra ticket to the Gala!"
"Well...yeah, but-"
Rainbow Dash flew into the air and cheered, "WHOO! THIS IS AWESOME!" She landed near Twilight and explained, "The Wonderbolts perform at the Gala every year! Ah, I can see it now! The Wonderbolts performing, everyone's eyes will be on them, but all of a sudden, Rainbow Dash would-"
"Uh, Twilight? Can Ah talk to ya fer a sec?" asked Applejack.
"Blah, blah, Wonderbolts." continued an oblivious Dash. "Blah blah me me me..."
"What's up?" asked Twilight.
"Ah thought you were takin' me!"
"Well, I-"
"Hold the phone!" said Rainbow Dash, breaking out of her fantasies. "You have to take me!"
"Ah asked first!" said Applejack.
"I didn't hear Twilight say that she'd give you the ticket. It's fair game!"
"Alright then," said Applejack, "Ah guess we're gonna fight fer it."
Rainbow Dash narrowed her eyes. "I guess we are!" She launched herself at Applejack.
"Whoo-hoo!" cheered Spike as the two ponies began to brawl. "Chick fight!"
"Psst, Spike!" whispered Twilight. "Let's get out of here!"
"But...chick fight?" said Spike as he gestured towards Applejack and Rainbow Dash.
"No chick fight!" said Twilight as she trotted away.
"Damn it." muttered Spike. He ran after Twilight.
"THAT'S IT!" yelled Applejack as she pinned Rainbow. "Twilight, ya'll need ta decide who's...who's..." She noticed that Twilight and Spike were gone. "Goddammit..."
"Nice job, Farmer Fatass." groaned Dash as she tried to get Applejack off of her. "Now what?"
Applejack shrugged and said, "What else? We're gonna chase her down and make decide which one of us is gettin' that damn ticket."
A few minutes later
Twilight walked back into Ponyville and looked around for somewhere to eat. Spike examined the tickets in his hands and asked, "So, who are you giving the ticket to?"
Twilight sighed and said, "I don't even know. But I can't deal with this crap on an empty stomach. Let's grab some grub."
Just as Twilight walked in front of Sugar Cube Corner, Pinkie Pie came flying out of the door and crashed into Twilight and Spike. Spike let go of the tickets and they floated down onto Pinkie's nose.
She shot up and screamed, "AAAAAAAAH! BATS! BATS ON MY FACE!"
"Pinkie," said Twilight as she got up from the ground, "There are no bats on your face."
"Oh!" said Pinkie, calming down instantly. "Alright then." She looked down at the tickets and said, "Are we doing a Willy Wonka crossover or something?"
"No Pinkie. Those are tickets to the Grand Galloping Gala." said Twilight.
"THE GRAND GALLOPING GALA?!" yelled Pinkie.
"Oh God, why did I just tell you that?" asked Twilight as Spike bent down to grab the tickets.
Pinkie ignored Twilight and said, "I love the Gala well I've actually never gone to the Gala but I heard that it's the best party in the entire world or at least in Equestria I've don't know about the rest of the world but I'm sure that it's the best! I even wrote a song about it!"
"NO!" yelled Twilight. "No singing! Ever!"
"But-"
"EVER!" screamed Twilight. She sighed and said, "Look, I'm sensing that the reason you want to go is because you think it will be a super fun party. Correct?"
"YES!" yelled Pinkie. "Can I go? Can I? Can I? Can I? Can I? Can I? Can I? Can I? Can I? Can I? Can I?"
"Actually-" began Twilight, but a shriek of surprise cut her off. Twilight turned to see Rarity pointing her hoof at the tickets in Spike's hands.
"Are these what I think they are?" asked Rarity.
"No!" said Twilight.
"YES!" screamed Pinkie.
"DAMMIT PINKIE!" yelled Twilight.
"Twilight has tickets to the Grand Galloping Gala! And she's taking me!" cheered Pinkie.
"The Gala?" asked Rarity. "I design dresses and suits for the Gala every year, but I've never had a chance to go!" She sighed as she imagined the Gala. "Ah, the society! The glamour! The chance to get the hell out of this dump!" She turned to the others and explained, "For you see, the Gala is where I'd meet...him!"
"Him?" asked Twilight.
"HIM?!" screamed Spike.
"Him!" repeated Rarity dreamily. "I can see it now! I'd stroll through the Gala in my sexiest dress, ponies heads would turn, and everypony would wonder 'Who is that mare and how do I get a chance to sleep with her?' Even Princess Celestia would want to sleep with me! But once I gently turn her down, she'd introduce me to...him! Her nephew, Prince Blueblood!" Rarity paused in imaginings to blissfully sigh. "Our eyes would meet, our hearts would melt, he would gain a boner so hard it could shatter diamonds! He would ask for my hoof in marriage, and I would of course say 'Yes'! Then, after our honeymoon that would consist of nothing but sex, I would become Princess! Can you imagine? Princess Rarity! Rolls off the tongue, doesn't it?
"Um..." said Twilight.
"Twilight, darling!" pleaded Rarity. "You have to take me!"
"Well...I-"
"Back the bitch truck up!" said Pinkie Pie. "Twilight's taking me!"
"Girls, if you could just-"
"Oh please," said Rarity, "You just want to party. I'm trying to get married and become royalty!"
"Girls!" said Twilight.
"You're already a royal pain." said Pinkie.
"What did you just say?!"
As Spike watched the two bickering mares, he felt something grab the tickets from him. "Hey!" he yelled. He turned and saw a white bunny run off with the tickets.
"Oh my..." said a familiar voice. "What are those, Angel?"
"Look you two," said Twilight, "I haven't decided who I'm giving the tickets to."
"WHAT?!" screamed Pinkie.
"YES!" yelled Rarity.
"Um...Twilight?" asked a soft voice.
Twilight turned to find Fluttershy standing with the white bunny, who had the tickets in his mouth.
"If you don't mind...maybe, you could take me to the Gala?" said Fluttershy.
"Fluttershy?" asked Rarity. "You want to go the Gala? But...why?"
"To see the animals in the Royal Garden!" said Fluttershy. "I-I think..." She looked at the bunny in fear. "Is that alright with you Angel?"
The bunny rolled his eyes and gave Fluttershy a look that said, "I guess."
Fluttershy smiled and hugged the bunny. "Oh, thank you Angel! You're so good to me!"
Angel kicked her in the face and glared at her.
"O-oh I'm so sorry!" said Fluttershy. "I-I forgot about that 'not hugging you in public' rule. P-please don't hate me!"
"Uh...Fluttershy?" asked Twilight. She shook her head and decided not to comment on the bunny's abuse. "That sounds nice and all, but-"
"WAIT JUST ONE SECOND!" yelled a voice.
Twilight turned and saw Rainbow Dash standing on a roof. "Rainbow Dash? I thought you were getting beat up by Applejack?"
"IT WAS A DRAW!" lied Dash as she jumped off the roof and landed on the ground.
"Wait..." said Twilight. "Were you spying on me?!"
"No!" said Dash. "I was just following you and listening to your private conversations!"
"I can't believe this!" said an outraged Twilight.
"You know what I can't believe?" asked Rainbow Dash. "That you'd give that ticket to somepony else even though I asked first!"
"You asked first?!" yelled Applejack as she came running up to the others.
"See?" said Rainbow Dash. "Even Applejack agrees with me."
"Ah asked first!" said Applejack. "Crazy bitches tryin' ta steal mah ticket..."
"Uh...no." said Pinkie Pie. "Twilight's taking me!"
"Let me guess," said Applejack, "Ya wanna go cause ya wanna party?"
"Yeah!"
"Well, Ah wanna go to get business fer the farm!"
"Yeah, well I need to go to get into the Wonderbolts!" said Rainbow Dash.
"I want to see the animals..." muttered Fluttershy.
"Spike!" said Twilight. "What should I do?"
"Spike," said Rarity seductively, "Going to the Gala would make me so happy..."
"You should take Rarity!" yelled Spike.
"Yes!" cheered Rarity. "Then I'll meet Prince Blueblood and have wild, passionate sex with him!"
"DON'T TAKE RARITY! DON'T TAKE RARITY!" screamed Spike.
Everyone started to argue and yell at each other, while Twilight just watched in horrified confusion. It was only after Rainbow Dash's seventh comment about another mare's mother that Twilight finally decided to take action.
"WOULD YOU ALL SHUT THE FUCK UP?!" screamed Twilight.
Everyone stopped yelling...except for Pinkie.
"And then I said, 'Glass? In where?! Are you crazy?'" She noticed that everyone was staring at her. "Oh! This is awkward..."
"Look girls," said Twilight, "I can't make a decision with all of you yelling at me!"
"But Twilight-" began Rarity.
"BITCH, WHAT PART OF BEING QUIET DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND?!" yelled Twilight.
Rarity squeaked in fear and backed away.
"These are my tickets." explained Twilight. "This is my decision. And I'll make it when I'm good and ready!" Her stomach growled in hunger. "And I need lunch before I make it! So get out of here!" All of the others walked away, mumbling to themselves.
"Bye Twilight..." said Spike sadly.
"Not you, Spike!" said Twilight as she put a hoof to her forehead.
Spike smiled and walked back to Twilight. "Do you think the others will be okay with waiting?" he asked.
"Please Spike. They're grown mares, they'll be okay with waiting."
Applejack looked back at Twilight and muttered, "That ticket-"
Rainbow glared at Twilight and said, "Is going-"
Rarity looked at the retreating unicorn, "To-"
Fluttershy looked away from Angel and growled, "Be-"
Pinkie bounced away and giggled, "Spatula! Oh wait, I mean...MINE!"