//------------------------------//
// Educational Devolution  
// Story: I'm Offensive and I Take Offense 
// by Gapeagle 
//------------------------------//

"Now kids, what is the capital of Maretonia?"

Cheerilee's class did not respond to the question enthusiastically. Well, all moaned except Sweetie Belle, who desperately waved her hoof up. This was the fifth time in a row that Sweetie volunteer for the answer, making Cheerilee sigh.

"Anyone else other than Sweetie?" she asked.

"But I KNOOOWW the answer!" Sweetie said loudly.

"Fine," Cheerilee sighed, generating a slight chuckle from the class, "what is it?"

"It's Coltfia!"

"Yes..."

The class continued to chuckle at Cheerilee's bemused mood. However, the teacher soon smiled at her young class. Today's geography class had been going well. Being the only teacher in Ponyville made it rough for her. Why couldn't more ponies get teaching cutie marks?  She brushed the thought away and picked up a paper.

"Class, we have only a few minutes left, so I will like to go over the week's schedule to give you all a heads up."

She was about to read it to them when the school house's door slammed open. Everypony inside were startled to see Starlight Glimmer standing menacingly in the doorway. The pink unicorn glared at Cheerilee before marching in. 

Starlight had a blue bruise on her muzzle, complete with a large bandage on the bridge. Her lips were slightly busted and she appeared like she terribly lost whatever hoof-fight she was in. One colt awed at her ruined face with a gaping mouth.

Starlight spied him. "Colt, staring at someone's face like that is a microaggression. So if you want to keep your perfect face, I'll suggest looking away."

The colt "eeped" and sunk in his chair, making the pink unicorn satisfied.

"May I help you?" Cheerilee asked suspiciously. 

"Why yes you can!" Starlight placed her hooves on the desk. "You can stop indoctrinating these poor children with your lies and slander."

"Excuse me?" Cheerilee's face hardened.

Starlight pressed a hoof into Cheerilee's fur. "You do not teach these kids...wait, they aren't goats...these fillies and colts progressive thinking! You fill their brains up with Equestrian propaganda and make them chant that dumb Equestrian oath to Celestia every morning! Don't you know that the image of Celestia, in a general educational environment, is offensive to non-Equestrian cultures?"

Cheerilee pushed the hoof away. "I'm not sure if you know this, but you're in Equestria."

"It does not matter where I am in the world, we must be sensitive to other ponies and non-ponies as well," Starlight countered.

"What is she talking about?" Scootaloo asked, but the adults did not hear her.

"Who are you to tell me how to teach my students?" Cheerilee crossed her legs and leaned back in her chair.

"I am a progressive thinker who is simply concerned for our children! You poison them with outdated thinking! Make them believe what past generations believed. Keep their minds small and do not let them question your vile teachings. The proof is in this classroom. I see idolized portraits of Celestia, a globe that only has Equestria highlighted. There are only maps of Equestria! You have signs about the outdated virtues of cutie marks, making the children believe that those things are in any way important! And look at your class, the white unicorn filly has answered all the questions. Have you, an earth pony, betrayed your race? Do you think only unicorns can answer correctly? You must show her favoritism because she's the oh so perfect white unicorn!"

"She was the only one who raised her hoof," Cheerilee said.

"That's because the poor pegasi here already know your racist ways. They don't even try anymore, you monster."

"Uhh...I didn't raise my hoof 'cause I didn't know the answer," Scootaloo interrupted.

"Ha! You don't even teach the minority students, do you?!" Starlight accused the teacher. "You must be one to approve of those horrid 'unicorn-only' schools in Canterlot!"

"There are pegasi only schools in Cloudsdale, aren't you against those too?" Cheerilee asked.

"What? Why would I? Pegasi can have their schools, there's nothing wrong with that," Starlight answered with a casual shrug. "And see! You are racist! You think that the pegasi having schools is bad!"

"I never said that."

"Yes, you did."

"No, I didn't."

"Well, you implied it."

"Oh please..."

"And I'm sure you also don't teach these children about global warming!"

"This, seriously?" Cheerilee facehoofed, much to Starlight's nerves. "These foals don't even know basic multiplication, but you think it's my responsibility to try and explain to them about a vague threat that it is destroying all the world? That's for them to decide later. I am a teacher. It is not my responsibility to tell them my viewpoints and what they should or should not believe in. If they believe it, that's fine, but it will not be because of me."

"And yet you do that with your Equestrian propaganda! And remember that facehoofing is a microagressional gesture!"

"Miss Cheerilee!" a certain pink earth filly with a tiara said. "Can you get this bimbo out of the classroom?"

Cheerilee hushed Diamond Tiara. "We don't use that word."

Starlight turned around and glared at the pompous filly. "Now you listen here, you little shi-"

Diamond expertly interrupted her. "Oh! By being some stuck-up unicorn, you have some right to tell this classroom that is being taught by a minority race, how to run her school? I think you're the racist one here. Just like always, you privileged unicorns think you know everything and we minority ponies know nothing."

Starlight growled. "I'm not some privileged unicorn, missy. I was at one point, but I gave that life up. Just because I'm a unicorn, which is something I apologize everyday for, doesn't mean I can't help make this world better. So you stop talking. You're only here in this because of your rich capitalistic father and that aristocratic and earth-pony-betraying bitch of a mother. So maybe you don't realize how hard life really is and how messed up society is in your perfect little world."

"Starlight! You do not intimidate my students!" Cheerilee yelled.

"You're right, that's your job," Starlight turned around. "I saw that yard stick in the corner. I'm sure these poor colts and fillies and questionables are scared of you. You must beat them daily with that horrid device."

"Beat them? I've only disciplined them a couple of times this whole semester. They are a good class. Besides, a yard stick is used to measure distances, you know."

"I seem to have stumbled upon one of the most vile places in Ponyville! How dare you harm these children! You've scarred them for life!"

Cheerilee was bemused. "Class, are you guys scarred for life?"

They whispered among themselves and then gave a unified nod of the head. The teacher buried her face in her hoofs.

"See!? You are a villain!"

"Starlight, they are children, they don't know better. I don't like scolding them or anything, but sometimes I must intervene to control my classroom and to protect the students."

"You are physically and mentally abusing them. You should resign for their sake."

"You can't make Miss Cheerilee leave!" Apple Bloom shouted.

Cheerilee chuckled. "Don't worry, Miss Glimmer has no power here."

"We'll see about that..." Starlight whispered.

The school bell rang loudly. The fillies and colts started packing their things and prepared to leave.

"You should leave also, Starlight," Cheerilee said.

"Abuser."

"Moron."

Starlight leaned forward and picked up Cheerilee's apple that was on the desk. She was about to put it in her mouth, but she slowly returned it to the desk untouched. 

"You're still teaching these fillies and colts nonsense. This is why our educational system sucks. So before I leave, I'll be taking those ugly Celestia portraits with me."

"STARLIGHT!"

"Oh shi-"

Twilight stormed into the room. "How do you keep escaping the castle!?"

"The bed sheets of course," Starlight answered boastfully.

"I should have listened to Spike..." Twilight rolled her eyes. "Now come along."

"You cannot keep my voice locked up!" Starlight shouted. "You cannot imprison free-thinking! I AM A VISIONARY!"

"You're a loony," Cheerilee remarked monotonously.

Starlight scrambled and opened a window to jump out of. Twilight sighed and simply picked the pink unicorn up with her magic. Like always, the unicorn started to squirm in the grip but never once use her own magic to escape.

"Help! The Princess of Friendship wants to brainwash our kids! Wait, they aren't goats, damn it! She wants to ruin our children! Think of the children! She wants to enforce old outdated worldviews! Twilight doesn't approve of pegasus education! She votes only for unicorn! Help! Help! We live under a dictatorship! No free speech allowed! She's the Princess of Anti-Friendship! Help!"

As Starlight's shrill voice faded away, Cheerilee rubbed her temples. 

"The ponies I have to deal with..."





Celestia was peacefully sipping from her pineapple juice. The sun was shining brightly on her white fur and the cool ocean water gently brushed against her hoofs. It was a lovely day in the Marebbean. No annoying ponies, no whining Twilight, no nobles, no problems, and no protesters. Could it be better?

"I wish this could last forever," she smiled.

Suddenly, a bright blue flash appeared some feet beyond the shore. Luna popped out of nowhere above the water and soon fell in with a large splash. She started to squirm about in the water as she seemed to have lost the ability to swim.

"I've been on the moon for a thousand years! Water is now foreign to me!" the younger princess wailed. "Help!"

"Luna, it's shallow, you can stand," Celestia sighed. "Why did I say anything?"

"Oh." Luna stopped squirming and stood upright, shaking her wings about to let  the water run off them.

"What is it, sister?" Celestia said as she sipped her juice.

Luna started to jump over the water, creating many splashes as she reached her relaxing older sibling. Celestia magically lowered her sunhat to keep her face dry from the saltwater.

"It's your school!" Luna shouted unnecessarily high. "The equal protesters are trying to ruin it!"

"My school?" Celestia did not seem to care.

Luna pressed her face closer. "Yes, you know, your gifted unicorns school!"

"What do they want?"

"They want to lower the price of admission, perhaps even make education free of charge!"

Celestia lowered her sunglasses. "Really?"

"Indeed!"

With a sigh, Celestia stood up. "Fine, I'll dissuade them from wasting their time further. Hmph, I'm already wasting my time dealing with them."

In a flash, they both teleported back to Canterlot. There, in front of her school, were the equal ponies. Like usual, they were waving signs about. 

"Free education!"

"No more rich-only schools!"

"No more tuition!"

"Unicorn schools = racist!"

"No more student loans!"

"Special schools = not for the special!"

"BOOOOHHH!"

"Pay for school? How dare you!"

Celestia rolled her eyes. "Alright! What do you want now?"

"Free education! Free college!" they shouted.

"If you don't pay for it, then who will?" Celestia asked.

A silence fell on the protesters. They rubbed their manes nervously and some just had blank stares. A general mumble began to be heard until Party Favor stood up.

"The rich!"

"Yeah!"

Celestia shook her head. "I thought you equal ponies didn't want a 'rich' portion of ponies? You want all to be a middle class. Doesn't that mean there won't be any rich ponies to pay for your education?"

Another silence fell over them. This one didn't last as long as Night Glider sprang up.

"The government will pay!"

"Yeah!"

"Fine!" Celestia said with a cruel smile and looked at her sister. "Luna, raise the taxes 300% and take all tax-cut abilities away. You are going to pay for all education of the entire nation. Good luck." She teleported back to the tropics.

The longest silence of the protesters soon followed. Blank stares and complete confusion was on all the faces. The only one that seemed excited was Luna herself.

"More money for me!" she clapped her hooves happily.


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